


Would You Be So Kind?

by melancholymango



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, First Time, Friends With Benefits, Getting Together, Intercrural Sex, Internalized Homophobia, Jealousy, M/M, Pining Keith (Voltron), Rimming, Sex Toys, Sexual Tension, Sexuality Crisis, thigh-fucking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2019-01-09
Packaged: 2019-07-29 10:54:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 131,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16262744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melancholymango/pseuds/melancholymango
Summary: “Who knows? Maybe that’s Mr. Blue Lion walking toward me right now.”Wasn’t that the funny thing? No one knew. Any one of these people Lance fell for impulsively and took to bed could be the one. The one that he grew attached to and chose to never let go of, the one that got to hold his heart as closely as his body… the one that stole the spotlight in his life and shoved Keith so far off stage that he blended right into the shadows.Lance wanted it so very badly, had tried to force it so many times, but it was bound to happen sooner or later. Someone was going to fill that soulmate-sized hole in Lance’s chest and here Keith was showing off different shapes.--Keith's in love with Lance, and it's for that very reason that he finds himself in this situation. Helping Lance through a sexuality crisis, setting him up with other people, and eventually... volunteering to become friends with benefits.(Set post s6, but has some elements of s7 that I liked so I'm stealing them and throwing the rest away.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! So super-quick heads up, writing a sexuality crisis for a character who bones aliens isn't as easy as you might think. It was kinda hard to explain how the internalized homophobia was at play here but I hope it makes sense?? It's nothing to do with Lance being close-minded or a bad person himself, it's just being raised in an environment that constantly put him down for thinking anything that wasn't Hetero Garbage. So he supports it outwardly while also having a lot of difficulty embracing his own sexuality.
> 
> this has been a psa

The truth was, Keith could think of a million and one places he’d rather be in that moment. Every muscle in his body hurt from helping these alien people transport their valuable ore from the dangerous volcano on their planet to a storage bay. He was drenched in sweat, clothes sticking to him uncomfortably and hair knotted in multiple places. He wanted to go _home_.

Did he express any of this in the slightest? No.

He’d never been the type to whine like some of his teammates, but he’d always been prone to outbursts when someone pushed him just a little too hard. These aliens had been ordering them around all day, and at his core… Keith wanted nothing more than to punch one of them square in its stupid face. He knew better than that now though, no matter how tempting it was.

The first time he’d been thrown into the role of a leader, he might have given in to that impulsive streak and done something he’d regret. His time with the Blades and aboard that space whale with Krolia had changed his perspective a lot. Even their short visit to Earth when Shiro had decided to stay behind with his fiance, it’d inspired Keith to step up and become a better leader more than anything else.

The universe needed him, but so did Shiro. He wasn’t fighting to avenge his dead brother this time, he was fighting to keep his brother alive and happy, and with the people he loved. He was fighting for a future where he might someday get that same happy ending. More than ever before, he had a cause to fight for.

Every outburst he made, every complaint he uttered, even every sigh or roll of his eyes… it impacted the team and their success rate. Whether he felt wholly like a leader or not, every alien they’d encountered since he’d taken over Black’s controls again had viewed him as one. When they were standing in front of a planet full of aliens looking to judge them for the first time, eyes always found Keith the moment Allura was finished introducing them.

This didn’t mean his teammates actions went unnoticed, they were just secondary to his. He’d been trying his best to teach them the same lesson he’d learnt recently, but it wasn’t going exceedingly well so far. It was going considerably worse today.

Pidge was frequently and never-endingly suggesting ideas on how they could be doing this more efficiently. Hunk was grumbling under his breath about how little he wanted to be doing this, listing everything he’d prefer to be doing. Allura’s constant smiling was starting to give her more of an unnerving vibe than an approachable one. And Lance, the one who had been complaining loudly and proudly for anyone to hear all day despite Keith’s many reprimanding words… was silent.

And goddamn, Keith was curious, _alright_? Sue him for caring about his stupid teammate.

When Keith came back from his mission, he’d immediately picked up on the difference in the team’s dynamic. Lance was undoubtedly being pushed to the side and ignored, the worst possible punishment for someone as desperate for approval as Lance. Keith had been trying to bridge the gap and get him to open up, but so far Lance had been distant. Today though, today he was significantly worse.

It didn’t take all that much snooping into the situation for him to start to find explanations, considering the rest of the team were never shy about discussing this type of thing. All he had to do was stand near Hunk and Pidge while they worked and the topic introduced itself naturally.

“-don’t really think it’s nothing, I mean, look at him!” Keith only caught the tail end of whatever Pidge had said, only sparing half of his attention for eavesdropping when he still had work to do. His focus faltered now, shifting over to the green and yellow paladins.

“Do you think he got rejected? I thought things were going pretty good for him with that pink alien over there.” Hunk hummed curiously, looking away from the task at hand to stare worriedly over at Lance. In a moment of weakness, Keith found his gaze darting in the same direction. He noticed the blue armor immediately among the sea of pink and red hued aliens, his lips curling into a frown as he watched the sluggish and distracted way Lance was stumbling around. He was going to hurt himself being so careless, idiot.

“He doesn’t look sad… it’s more like anxious?” Pidge tried, sounding uncertain of what exactly they were actually witnessing. As it turned out, Keith wasn’t the only one confused about Lance’s behavior. That knowledge didn’t exactly comfort him any.

“Maybe she came on too strong?” Hunk pondered aloud, reaching up to scratch as his chin as he thought it over. Pidge immediately scoffed and shook their head, rejecting the idea.

“ _No way_ , nothing’s too strong for Lance.” Pidge countered, dropping the box they’d been carrying and moving to sit down on top of it for a second. “He’s slept with girls _minutes_ after meeting them before, this one would have had to do something really bold to spook him like this.”

Keith couldn’t help the scowl that graced his features at the direction the conversation was taking. He looked back down at his work, studying the box in his hands with a glare it definitely didn’t deserve. The locals would be picking up on their distracted state soon enough, he needed to act fast. It had absolutely nothing to do with wanting to steer the others away from the topic of Lance’s lovelife, either.

Keith stood up straighter, hauling his box with him as he marched over to where his teammates were deep into a discussion about Lance he’d missed most of. He glanced between them, setting his load down onto the ground before placing his hands on his hips.

“What’s going on over here, guys?” He asked warmly, trying his best not to come off as standoffish. That was another thing he was learning as a leader, even his own teammates viewed him differently if he did something they didn’t agree with. It came with the job description apparently, calling the shots for the many meant it was all too easy to call the wrong one.

He wanted to be viewed as an equal still, even if what he was doing maybe didn’t line up with those aspirations so well. Whatever, he needed answers about Lance. “Trying to escape your share of the work? What were you talking about over here?”

The moment the words left his lips, Keith began to panic. Had he been too obvious? Was joking about their workload insensitive considering he was a leader? God, were they going to assume he’d came over here to lecture them? Or worse, maybe they’d realize he’d been eavesdropping, that he was just indirectly asking to talk about _Lance_ , of all things.

Pidge and Hunk stared up at him, exchanged a look, and then shrugged indifferently.

“Have you noticed anything off with Lance today?” Pidge asked, quirking an eyebrow.

“Is that a trick question or do you actually want the full list?” Keith joked, giving an uneasy smile. The truth was, he’d noticed something was wrong long before they had, he just couldn’t admit to it as plainly as that.

He’d always been hyper-aware of his feelings for Lance, how they were just a little bit off from how he felt about the other paladins, ever since the day they’d been thrown together into space. Even before he knew what that _meant_ , he’d taken careful precautions to hide it. Or at least, he’d tried his best to hide it and in turn had made everyone else even more aware of the unique dynamic of their relationship.

Turns out, treating one teammate like shit compared to the others wasn’t the most believable act, not even if said teammate was the one to introduce the rivalry dynamic. So they’d dropped that pretty early on, more or less, nowadays it was less genuine fighting and more fond bickering.

It was good for their image, the other paladins didn’t tease them about their relationship anymore. It was bad for Keith though, who had no time to realize what he was getting himself into when the dynamic suddenly shifted and he was faced with so much more of Lance than he’d ever allowed himself to have before.

Given the two years of introspection on the topic since, Keith had reached a conclusion a while back no matter how he’d tried to stay in denial-land. He was utterly, irreversibly, and immensely… _attracted_ to Lance. For every second Keith spent wanting to land a punch into that pretty, obnoxious face, he spent another _minute_ wanting desperately to be the one that got to kiss his injuries better. It wasn’t even a purely physical thing like he’d tried to brush it off as in the beginning. For all intents and purposes, Keith had a crush.

A crush he would sooner die than tell anyone else about, but a crush nonetheless.

“He looks pretty upset, Keith.” Hunk said, his voice chastising. Inside, Keith wanted nothing more than to scream. Of course he knew that Lance looked _pretty upset_ . Goddamn it, Lance’s stupid little pout had been the only thing on his mind for the better half of the day, it was driving him mad at this point. He just couldn’t _say_ it, couldn’t come out and admit how much it mattered to him.

Besides, Hunk had been the one neglecting Lance for weeks in Keith’s absence! Like he had any room to talk!

“He’s a drama queen, he’ll get over it.” Keith insisted stubbornly, hands curled into rebellious fists at his sides, his sharp nails protesting the words even as he said them. Hunk shot him a look, but he didn’t press the issue any further.

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” Pidge said, noticing the slight awkwardness in the air and trying to diffuse the situation. They turned to Hunk, patting him on the back. “Come on, Hunk, let’s get back to work before our righteous leader cracks the whip down.”

“Har-har, very funny.” Keith deadpanned, crossing his arms over his chest. In truth, he probably would have kept the conversation up a little longer, tried to pry some more info out of them. It only took a quick glance around the area to realize what Pidge had noticed far before he had, that the locals were staring in their direction and blatantly wondering why three out of five paladins were being so unproductive.

So Keith left Pidge and Hunk to their work, but the moment he finished the trip back to the drop-off with his current load, he was quick to slip off before taking on another. He looked around for Lance and headed over to where the blue paladin was surprisingly hard at work, though he still looked distracted and uneasy.

Keith sidled up next to Lance, reaching down to grab one of the ores nearby in hopes this would look somehow more casual. He had just crossed an entire field of potential ores between them specifically to pick up the one next to Lance, but maybe that would go unnoticed.

Lance looked up, brow furrowed when he noticed he was no longer working alone. Keith nodded at him in lieu of greeting, clearing his throat as they both turned. They kept pace, Keith biting his lip the whole way as he debated how to start the conversation.

It wasn’t until they were on their way back for another trip of hauling that Keith managed to actually prompt his mouth to work again. “What’s your _problem_?”

“Huh?” Lance huffed, sounding breathless as he hoisted the giant rock in his arms a little bit higher in his hold. Keith’s mouth went suddenly uncooperative again, eyes scanning the muscles flexing beneath Lance’s bodysuit. They’d all ditched the majority of their armor pieces earlier, finding them more hassle than they were worth with the heat on this planet. “What’s _your_ problem?”

Keith blushed, eyes snapping back up to Lance’s at the accusatory tone.

“You’ve been making a face like you’re sucking on a lemon all day.” Keith stated plainly, deciding to get straight to the point. “I’m tired of looking at it.”

“Shut-up, Keith.” Lance snapped immediately, reacting the same way he always did when Keith went straight to the point. Maybe it should have come more naturally to them by now to be more gentle with one another, to lead up to obviously sensitive subjects, but Keith was impatient. He wanted answers right _now_.

When he continued to stare expectantly, Lance looked away. There was no further argument, no streak of challenge in his eyes, no fight in his frame as he simply went back to his work. When he replied, it was such a low grumble that Keith barely caught it. “It’s none of your business.”

“Except it is, because whatever’s going on with you is keeping you from doing the minimal amount of work you usually do.” Keith continued to press, far more than he’d normally allow himself to. Lance looked up, curiously raking his eyes over Keith’s face.

“Aw, _Keith_ , are you worried about me?”

Keith huffed, turning away and concentrating on trudging back toward the drop-off area on the ship. He determinedly stared ahead, trying to reflect back on the uncaring person he’d been before growing close to the team. Back then, it’d come so naturally not to worry, now he felt like he was a bundle of nerves every second one of them spent in a compromising position.

“I’m worried we’re going to end up staying here later than necessary because you’re slacking off, that’s all.” Keith insisted, though one look at Lance’s skeptical face and even he couldn’t take himself seriously anymore. He snorted under his breath, blushing like mad as he looked away again. “Whatever.”

“Hey, don’t sulk, it’s cool that you care about me.” Lance said, his voice gentle. Keith continued to scowl at nothing in particular all the same.

Eventually, after they’d both dropped off their current armfuls onto the ship and had turned around again to go back for more, Lance took pity on Keith’s pouting form. He offered something else up to the conversation. “Do you find these people attractive?”

See, Keith had known Lance for a long while now, for better or for worse. He’d known what he was getting into coming over here to try and pry his way into the thoughts Lance kept to himself. The thoughts Lance said out loud were strange and unsettling, it could only be assumed that what he kept to himself was somehow worse.

This… didn’t make sense though. The last thing Keith had been expecting to find on Lance’s mind were thoughts about what _Keith_ found attractive.

“Excuse me?” Keith tried, voice suddenly hoarse. He looked away from Lance, instead studying all the alien people around them in a different light than the begrudging acknowledgement from before. He wanted to rescue their people of course, that didn’t mean he liked them on a personal level. He hadn’t had a single positive interaction with any of them yet.

“The, uh, alien people on this alien planet.” Lance specified, like _that_ was the bit that was confusing Keith. “Are you attracted to them?”

Keith furrowed his eyebrows together, staring scrutinizingly at the surrounding planet inhabitants and trying to gauge where this question had come from. As far as brightly-colored scaled people went, they were probably some of the lesser terrifying ones he’d run into. He wasn’t about to charm his way into the nearest bed with one of them, though.

“Not… really?” Keith mumbled hesitantly, tearing his gaze away from the stranger who’d just caught him staring. He looked back to Lance, worried about the thoughtful look on his face. Was he plotting something, then? Something that involved these aliens and Keith, presumably?

Keith groaned aloud, elbowing Lance in the side. “Look, if you’re trying to play matchmaker for me and some random-”

“No!” Lance shouted hurriedly, clamping a hand over Keith’s mouth and looking around like he was worried about who might have overheard. Keith frowned against Lance’s palm. “That’s not what I’m doing.”

“So?” Keith grumbled, tearing Lance’s hand away from his face. He was determined to pretend the red in his cheeks was anger, not a product of how flustered their closeness had made him. “What _are_ you doing?”

Lance hesitated. It wasn’t something he was prone to do, stopping to think through where his thoughts and words were headed. When Keith moved to go back to work, Lance grabbed him by the wrist and turned them to face away from the rest of the crowd. His eyes were determined, but he didn’t exactly look confident.

Keith’s curiosity was piqued.

It wasn’t often that Lance shared anything meaningful or private with him, that was reserved for the best friend position that Hunk had grabbed up far before Keith had even realized he wanted it. This was new territory for them. Progress.

_And then Lance had to go and open his big, dumb mouth._

“I’ve spent the whole day flirting with these people only to find out it’s an entirely _male_ race.” Lance explained hurriedly, under his breath like he was admitting to something utterly shameful. Keith stared blankly back at him. “The females died out decades ago and they’ve found some weird scientific way to keep reproducing.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Are _you_ attracted to them? Knowing that they’re guys?” Lance asked, refusing to look up from the ground. The nervousness might have been cute, if not for the subject and how uncomfortable it was altogether. As it was, Keith couldn’t help but scrunch his nose up in distaste.

“Lance, what the fuck?” Keith groaned, once again wondering why the hell any of this mattered whatsoever to Lance. Keith’s preferences had never been a topic of interest before, so why try and bring them up now? Something wasn’t adding up. “You think because I’m gay I’m just attracted to _everyone_ in space that even somewhat falls into the male category? Most of these alien races don’t even _have_ sexes or genders in the sense we do, and they definitely don’t have the same parts as us. Why would them being guys change literally any-”

“Aesthetically, are you attracted to their appearances?” Lance corrected, clearly very determined to get a straightforward answer out of Keith.

“No?” Keith answered plainly, still puzzled as to why any of this mattered. “Not all of us are as shallow as you, sorry?”

Lance looked visibly frustrated that Keith wasn’t understanding some part of the conversation, but try as he may Keith couldn’t understand why the other boy was so hung-up on the topic. They’d visited enough new planets by now to know that sex and gender were very different for every species.

Keith moved as if to start working again, but secretly he was only hoping it’d prompt Lance to hurry up and explain himself better. It worked, but Keith immediately regretted it the moment the explanation left Lance’s pouting lips.

“Do you think it’s gay for _me_ to like them?” Lance asked, looking down at his hands as he clumsily fumbled with them, trying to distract himself. Keith blinked slowly, processing the situation belatedly and realizing that it had absolutely nothing to do with his preferences, and everything to do with _Lance’s_ preferences.

He was having a sexuality crisis? It didn’t really make sense to Keith. Lance had never officially came out to the team, but everyone just sort-of assumed he was into anything and anyone that caught his fancy. He hardly thought twice about sleeping with aliens that had completely unique bodies to any other species, so forgive the others for thinking he’d be down to be with a man if the situation presented itself.

Hell, the things he’d said about his favorite male celebrities, about his male _friends_ even… surely he had to be aware that he felt something sexual toward them?

“Oh my god.” Keith exhaled, not feeling relieved in the slightest that he understood better now. Lance was such a confusing self-contradiction. “I don’t have time for this shit.”

Keith turned to leave, prepared to stalk off and spend the rest of the day thinking about the odd exchange. He didn’t make it further than a couple steps though, Lance’s hand grabbing onto his wrist and pulling him backward. Keith tumbled backward into Lance’s chest with an indignant noise.

“I’m serious.” Lance insisted, shoving Keith away just as quickly as he’d pulled him back. Keith whirled around, ready to start throwing punches after such rough handling, but he hesitated when he saw the perplexed look on Lance’s face. He really was fixated on this.

Sure, it seemed stupid to Keith, but who was he to tell Lance what _he_ should care about?

Keith sighed heavily, rubbing at his temples to try and calm himself down. He looked up at Lance, biting his lip and trying to figure out the most nonchalant way to comfort him through this.

“How can you be hung-up on the idea of being with the same gender when you’ve been gung-ho to sleep with other _species_ since we got here?” Keith tried, hoping Lance would see the irony in that. He didn’t look too convinced, only seemed slightly affronted that they were talking about his sex life in more blunt terms now. Keith scowled, patience growing thin. “Lance, critical thinking, try to use it. Labels are for your own benefit, not to hold you back and keep you from embracing how you feel. If you find them attractive, let yourself find them attractive. It’s really that simple, you don’t have to complicate it.”

Considering his work to be done on the subject, Keith turned away and gave Lance a simple order to get back to work. His thoughts on the subject were not finished, however. He spent the rest of the day trying to process the fact that Lance of all people was someone so hesitant to accept he was attracted to multiple genders.

It wasn’t that he was disappointed, more-so curious what had led Lance to believe he would never be interested in another man up until now. He was arguably the most open-minded person on the team when it came to others, so why would he limit his own options like that?

Keith stomped back to the ship with another load, where Krolia was waiting to check it off on the list of supplies. She offered him a kind smile and Keith hesitated, a phantom urge to go to her for advice pulling at his chest. Their dynamic was still weird, especially now that Shiro was gone and she was the only guardian he really had around. She came and went, often times leaving on missions with the Blades, but she did seem to think of the Castle 2.0 as her home.

Keith turned away from her before he could blurt something stupid and incriminating about Lance, instead turning to where his wolf rested by her feet. Kosmo was _his_ wolf most of the time anyway, but whenever Krolia was around the damn thing latched onto her and more or less forgot about Keith’s existence. It could just be that he didn’t see her as often and wanted to make the most of the time she was around, but Keith couldn’t help but take it a little bit personally.

Kosmo hadn’t even been sleeping in his room lately!

He kneeled in front of the animal, giving it a loving scratch between the ears. Kosmo gave him an indifferent once-over and then turned wide puppy-dog eyes up at Krolia. Keith watched in resigned betrayal as Krolia slipped a chunk of her sandwich down to Kosmo and he wolfed it up like, well, a wolf.

It all made sense now.

“Keith, stop playing with your dog and get back to work.” Pidge sneered, as they dropped off their own share to the growing pile of supplies. Keith rolled his eyes, reluctantly turning and heading back out into the field. It was a little hypocritical for him to scold them for being distracted when he was in such a state.

\--

More often than not, Lance found it difficult to concentrate. His mind was always moving too fast, filled with so many thoughts and feelings that he felt like he was drowning in them. However, there were the rare instances were his brain just seemed to catch on a loose thread and then he was stuck thinking about the _same thing_ for _hours_ in _agonizing depth_. In times like those, Lance couldn’t possibly hold all of those thoughts inside, so he found himself babbling to anyone within earshot.

It’d started with Keith, who seemed almost weirdly invested earlier while they were out on the field, but then he’d backed off the moment Lance brought up his sexuality. Then, after returning back to the castle in the evening, Lance had moved on to Hunk. Hunk was comforting and kind, he always was, but he was also clearly not at all interested. Eventually, Lance had settled for hearing Pidge’s opinions, but they’d been _too_ interested and had ruthlessly made fun of him over the issue. He wasn’t about to turn to the Alteans, so that gave him no other choice.

Lance had committed to moping aimlessly for the foreseeable future. The rest of his teammates weren’t very supportive of the decision, but that didn’t matter.

That was yesterday. Their _second_ day working on this alien planet to clear valuable metals and gems away from the volcano sight was just as painstakingly boring and strenuous as the first had been. And the entire time, Lance was forced to watch as the locals paraded around him, effortlessly attractive and _very_ sweaty.

But they were guys, and Lance wasn’t attracted to guys, he’d have known before now if he was, right? Right? Though, Keith was right, sex and gender didn’t exactly exist in the same regard in outer space, so maybe with the expanse of options his preferences could change.

So what was he? Questioning? Confused? _Bi-curious_?

It wasn’t that Lance was against the idea of two guys being together, he’d always considered himself an LGBT+ ally, he’d just… never imagined himself to be a _part_ of the community. Guys were pretty in their own regard, Lance could confidently say he’d met a lot of attractive men in his lifetime, but none that ever warranted actively _wanting_ to be with them. There were always prettier girls around, women that drew Lance in and distracted him from any inkling of curiosity he had toward the same gender.

Plus, he’d been set on a wife since he was five. He had the wedding planned, the babies, the obnoxious pet names he’d call her. When people talked about Lance’s future partner or soulmate, it was a girl. That was just how it was, how it’d always been, he’d never expected it to change. God, his mother would be so upset if that changed, she was counting on him to bring home a nice girl and start a nuclear family before his thirties.

Okay, maybe sleeping with alien girls wasn’t exactly nuclear family material, but he was working with what he had out here in outer space. He was flexible after all, he’d never had many expectations for his soulmate, just that they were… you know, going to be a girl.

Maybe that was expecting too much, though? He’d always had lots of love to give, many argued he had too much, so why would he try to limit himself? If the attraction was there… the desire to try it out… then surely there was no harm in looking into that?

“So, _Lance_ , how are your new boyfriends?” Pidge greeted him as he walked into the lounge, their knowing smirk following him across the room. He collapsed onto the couch furthest from where Pidge and Hunk were settled, giving an impassive glance toward the technology they were carefully constructing on the floor.

As it was, that was the least of his concerns, with Pidge lovingly tormenting him.

“We’re not-”

“Pidge, come on, don’t tease him.” Hunk pleaded, concentration on the device in front of him faltering so he could glance helplessly between them. “He’s whiny enough about it as it is.”

“Hunk!” Lance’s gasp certainly displayed the utter betrayal he was currently experiencing, having his very own best friend dismiss his problem so easily. He collapsed back against the couch, pouting wordlessly up at the ceiling for a solid minute. That minute was spent waiting on someone to apologize or at least check-in with him. When no one did, he let out a long sigh. “I’m having a crisis over here, why doesn’t anyone care?!”

“We care, just not as much as you seem to.” Hunk said, sounding earnest. “You know if you really need to talk about it, we’re here. We can put this aside and be there for you if you want.”

“Ditto, except I want to add that you’re being entirely overdramatic.” Pidge added, pushing their glasses up the bridge of their nose and leaning down to go back to work. Hunk shot them a silent reprimanding glare, a wordless plea to be more gentle. Lance bit his lip, wondering not for the first time if he was genuinely annoying them with this.

“Pidge, you don’t underst-”

“It’s not that big of a deal. Being attracted to dudes literally means nothing when you’ve tried to fuck aliens with tentacles before, Lance.” Pidge said dryly, not a hint of mirth present in their voice. Lance blushed slightly, only ever shy about his sex life when it was tossed back at him unexpectedly later on, once the relationship or hook-up had already crashed and burned.

“Are you ever gonna let me live that d-”

“No.” Pidge answered immediately, voice flat.

“No.” Hunk agreed, sounding rather exasperated with the whole topic.

“ _No_.” A third voice chimed-in, far more amused than the others, on the verge of laughter really.

Lance lit up in recognition, trying not to seem too obvious with the way he jolted upright to look over the back of the couch to where Keith was approaching with his wolf at his side. Out of all his friends, Keith had been the one to show the most interest in Lance’s plight, had offered some things that vaguely resembled advice between his annoyed comments. The thought of more attention like that had Lance’s metaphorical tail positively wagging in excitement.

He couldn’t just _say_ that though, his relationship with Keith hung in a very well-maintained balance. They had graduated from blindly bickering and ruthlessly insulting each other, now they’d settled into mutual respect and occasional inside jokes that baffled the rest of the team. They still fought, but it never stemmed from an unhealthy jealousy or outright dislike anymore, it was something playful about their dynamic that they couldn’t drop. It came easily to them, the back and forth, easier than being genuine did.

Since Shiro had stayed behind on Earth, Lance had stepped up to be Keith’s right-hand man again. They’d bonded over working together and comforting each other through their insecurities before, and now they were tentatively trying to find their way back to that. Granted, those insecurities had always been insecurities related to the team, but Lance knew that Keith was capable of some damned insightful advice when he wanted to be and he was gonna pry it out of that jerk if he had to.

Besides, Keith was _gay_ , he was the obvious person to turn to about this problem.

So Lance waited, kept his lips pressed tightly together and hands tucked under his legs to keep them still, even as Keith bypassed him entirely to see what the others were up to. Kosmo, Keith’s wolf, settled at Lance’s feet on the floor and let out a bored yawn. Lance could relate. He waited all of _ten seconds_ , gave Keith time to briefly glance over the electrical contraption, and then pointedly cleared his throat.

“Oh, nice of you to join us, Prince Charmless.” Lance jabbed playfully, eager to have Keith’s attention back on him. It worked, baiting Keith in _always_ did. The other boy looked up, violet eyes flickering back to Lance in the same instant that a smirk started to form on his lips. It was an unspoken challenge and Lance was giddy with it.

In an instant, Keith had crossed the room and unceremoniously fallen onto the couch. Or, more accurately, he’d fallen onto Lance and squashed the boy face-first _into_ the couch. Lance wailed loudly, arms flailing as he tried to shove Keith off. “Don’t sit on me! You’re gross! You’re still covered in sweat!”

“This is what being productive looks like, in case you were wondering.” Keith countered, always one to brag about the amount of hours he clocked in on the training deck. Lance fake-gagged, dramatically gasping for air as Keith continued to press down between his shoulder blades to keep him where he was.

“If that’s what being productive _smells_ like, I’m glad I was born a procrastinator!” Lance countered loudly, ignoring Pidge’s distant giggle as he felt Keith lean closer, curling over Lance’s back to thoroughly pin him to the couch. It was working, Lance could do little to fight back even as one of his arms was wrenched out from under him and pulled around behind his back.  “Ah, don’t kill me! Guys, help!”

“Sorry, really busy, can’t.” Pidge answered immediately, even as Lance turned to stare toward his friends with wide, teary eyes.

“Hunk?” He called hopefully, not unaware of the way Keith was gingerly backing further and further away, worried he was actually hurting Lance. Hunk looked over at them, shaking his head fondly.

“My hands are covered in grease, you’d kill me if I got this on your skin.” He answered simply, holding up his hands as if to prove his point. Lance sighed, slumping back down into the cushions and resigned himself to his fate. Keith laughed at his pathetically helpless state, the utter _bastard_.

“Ah, you’re breaking my arm!” Lance cried out, trying to squirm his arm free. It actually had less to do with Keith’s hold and more to do with the angle, Lance could feel pins and needles forming in his arm from the elbow down and he didn’t want to deal with that. Keith huffed, hands twisting to hold onto Lance’s wrist and keep his arm where it was.

“No I’m not.” Keith insisted, suddenly yanking Lance’s arm back at an even worse angle. As Lance cried out, Kosmo’s head darted up from where it’d been resting on his paws, eyes wide with concern. Keith laughed wickedly. “ _This_ would be breaking your arm.”

“Ow! Ow, ow, ow, okay! I’m sorry! I plead mercy!” Lance cried out, nearly choking on the words with his rush to get them out. He was actually in pain now, but he couldn’t help but laugh through the hurt, especially when Keith immediately took the hint and let him go.

Keith rolled off of him to the other end of the couch, watching as Lance propped himself up and cradled his arm like it’d truly been broken just then. They made eye contact from either end of the couch and Keith quirked an expectant eyebrow, his own arms crossed loosely over his chest. Lance flushed in defeat and glowered at him. “You smell great, Keith, like a fucking scented candle or a dryer sheet.”

“Dick.” Keith grumbled in response, the insult so far from vicious it was laughable. It almost sounded more like a pet name.

And just like that, the fight was resolved as quickly and nonsensically as it’d started. Lance was happily leaning back and draping himself across the couch, feet landing in Keith’s lap. Keith was begrudgingly allowing the closeness, despite how tense he was and how quickly he would’ve shoved anyone else away. Their relationship was all over the place and unique in the way it somehow worked, but it was _theirs_.

Lance had spent so long living in Keith’s shadow and desperately trying to get his attention, now he basked in every look Keith shot his way that wasn’t an outright glare. This was two _years_ of progress personified. He’d worked damn hard to be able to have Keith kick his ass and then cuddle up next to him afterward (and this _was_ cuddling, as far as Keith was concerned. This was the closest that touch-starved fool allowed himself to get to any other living being outside of sex, Lance was certain of it).

Speaking of sex, now seemed like as good a time as any for Lance to reintroduce the topic he was just _dying_ to discuss further. Lance glanced over at Keith, grinning when he found the other was already looking at him.

“Ah, _dick_ .” Lance sighed wistfully, throwing an arm over his eyes. “To dick or not to dick, that _is_ the question.”

“Lance?” Pidge interjected, their tone unamused. “Please consider never speaking again.”

“Rude.” Lance answered immediately, shooting them an angry scowl. He was genuinely upset, too. If Pidge cost him the chance to hear Keith’s thoughts on this issue he wasn’t going to play games with them for a _month_. He wanted to discuss and talk through his feelings, it was in his nature.

He looked hopefully over at Keith, finding the other boy to look completely distracted. For a brief, shameless moment Lance considered repeating himself to make sure Keith actually heard him. He realized quickly that Pidge and Hunk would definitely catch onto that though, would probably accuse him of something crazy like caring more about Keith’s reactions than he did theirs. It’d be a whole thing. It wasn’t worth the risk.

Still… Keith looked so withdrawn into his own thoughts, had he completely spaced out?

“Listen, if you’re really that torn up over this, just go sleep with one of them.” Keith blurted, with exactly zero build-up or leeway into the suggestion. Lance promptly choked on his own saliva. Keith looked up at him, a defensive stance about him. “It’s no big deal. What’s the worst that could happen?”

“I don’t know that I agree with that advice…” Hunk singsonged from the floor, that nervous laughter that followed only confirming what a terrible idea that truly was. Lance stared blankly at Keith, wondering if his friend had somehow lost his mind since giving that good advice earlier.

“Considering we don’t know what the hell those people are equipped with under their tunics?” Pidge mused, looking thoughtful. “The ‘worst’ could be a variety of things for poor Lance’s body.”

“Pidge, you’re not helping.” Hunk shushed them, shoving a pair of pliers into their hands in a wordless demand to drop the subject. Lance watched as they went back to work, chewing nervously on the inside of his cheek. Was that it, then? His only option was to take a guy to bed?

Apparently, his apprehension was visible on his face, because bold and unapologetic Keith Kogane decided to backtrack for his sake.

“If you want answers, you’re not gonna find them sitting around here.” Keith explained, using a much gentler tone now. Lance relaxed slightly, nodding his head and considering it. “Try it out, you can always back out if it gets to be too much for you. You don’t have to go all the way, or do _anything_ you don’t want to, just keep an open mind to see what you _do_ want. It’s better to figure it out now than later.”

“Keith’s right, you know.” Pidge shoved their way into the conversation again, but this time they sounded more serious about it. Lance wasn’t so sure that he liked that multiple people were suggesting he just go out and sleep with some random guy. The thought of it alone had his heart racing and stomach feeling queasy.

“Really? ‘Cause right about now, shoving all of this aside for ‘later’ sounds like a great idea. I can’t see a single downside to it.” Lance stuttered hurriedly, resisting the urge to jump to his feet and run from the conversation. He could shove it under the rug for a while, just keep seeing women and never addressing this phantom longing.

“Hear me out.” Keith spoke, shoving Lance’s feet off his lap so he could scoot closer. Lance blinked, sitting up rimrod straight, uncomfortably aware of how Keith was pressed up against his side closer than ever before. He was probably hoping it’d be comforting to crisis-having Lance, but it wasn’t at all helpful. Still, Lance tried to concentrate despite it as Keith started to explain. “What if you meet the love of your life a month from now? That Mrs. Blue Lion you’ve been rambling on about since you fucking got here... but _she_ turns out to be a _he_. He’s perfect in every way you’ve ever wanted him to be, no one else you’ve crushed on even compares. He likes you back, you have chemistry, and you’re serious about each other.”

“Yeah?” Lance whispered, almost reluctant to break the fantasy.

“And _then_ ... you open your big dumb mouth and start spluttering about a ‘gay crisis’. You’d regret it forever if you pushed him away because you were scared.” Keith stated bluntly, Lance’s mind running wild with the possibility that this could _really_ happen. “Hell, even if you get past the _idea_ of being with a man, what if everything goes along as it should and then you realize you’re not into it at the _actual_ being with a man part? It’s better to have the knowledge and the experiences now, with someone who doesn’t really matter, than go through all of this later and risk ruining something important. Don’t you think?”

“And if Mrs. Blue Lion turns out to be a Mrs. after all?” Lance asked meekly, drawing his bottom lip back between his teeth. Keith watched the movement, eyes flickering back to Lance’s suddenly.

“Then you’ll still have the knowledge and the experiences.” Keith answered, shrugging nonchalantly.

“ _Ooh la la_ , what kind of experiences?” Pidge muttered under their breath, never once looking away from their project. Everyone in the room chose to ignore that interruption. Keith especially, he hardly seemed to register it, soft gaze focused on Lance. It was almost comforting, but it was hard to call it that with the knowledge that Keith was literally telling him to go fuck a stranger.

“Okay, thanks for the insight from the local wise old gay, really appreciate it.” Lance laughed, running his hand through his hair. Keith joined him with a chuckle of his own, relaxed enough to accept what a strange conversation that’d just been.

“You should! Keith doesn’t talk about this stuff often.” Pidge hummed, sounding mostly distracted. “He’s a prude.”

“Are we talking about the same Keith?” Lance asked, eyebrows furrowing together. He yelped when a fist collided with his ribcage. When he looked over at Keith ready to hit back, but the fiery glare alone was enough to make him start regretting saying anything on the topic. Still, he was defensive and unwilling to admit when he might be in over his head, so he settled for sticking his tongue out. “Ow? I didn’t even say anything!”

“You implied it!” Keith snapped, looking mostly angry, but also the slightest bit… uncomfortable. Lance’s chest gave a sympathetic pang, genuine regret sinking through him. He lifted his arm and draped it over the back of the couch, just barely settling on Keith’s shoulders. They were already so close, this wouldn’t be weird, right?

“Hey, it’s fine, we’re not going to judge you.” Lance assured his friend, patting Keith on the arm. Keith refused to meet his gaze, cheeks darkening to a noticeable red that Lance couldn’t help but admire even with the circumstances. It was so rare that he got under Keith’s skin now that their fighting was more for fun than getting a reaction out of each other, it was almost nice to see a rare expression on Keith’s face and know with certainty he’d put it there.

Then, Lance was made abruptly aware of the fact he was staring, a knowing cough coming from across the room. He jumped, looking over at Pidge with wide-eyes.

“Do you know something we don’t?” They asked, lips pursed.

“Keith’s room is next to his, of course he does.” Hunk mumbled, as if this was common knowledge that the whole ship should know. Lance felt Keith sink further into his side, clearly trying to hide his face. It was almost… cute.

Lance had known for a while now that he wasn’t the only person on the castleship that was “getting some”, so to speak. While he was pursuing girls with mostly good intentions and even starting the occasional relationship (they never lasted long with how busy he was defending the universe), Keith was more into the hook-up side of things. Fast and filthy. Lance had caught him with alien guys on more than one occasion, at first because their rooms were side-by-side and he could hear everything, but then he’d run into Keith walking them out of the castle the morning after a few times. Eventually Keith had pulled him aside to explain himself.

 _Stress-relief_ , he’d called it. Lance had nodded dumbly through the whole embarrassed rant Keith offered him and then he’d stupidly gaped for a moment longer, before asking; “ _Can you let me know next time so I can wear headphones to bed? You’re really loud._ ”.

That wasn’t the right thing to say to a vulnerable, defensive Keith. He’d sported a black eye for a week and had been sworn to secrecy about why that was.

“Let’s just say Keith is _very_ familiar with the walk of shame.” Lance offered the room, unsurprised when Keith’s fist landed against his stomach immediately. He laughed, grabbing Keith’s hand and shoving it away from his body. “Stop hitting me! They probably already know anyway, you aren’t discreet at all!”

“I had my suspicions.” Pidge snickered, their eyes lighting up at the chance for new blackmail material. It wasn’t hard to notice that Hunk was paying more attention to the conversation now as well.

Keith continued to swat at Lance, pouting all the while with the smallest little frown. Lance had decided that it was _definitely_ cute, which was just the cherry on top of his current dilemma, but it didn’t matter when Keith was right there to distract him. He grabbed both of Keith’s wrists, holding them up and offering up his best charming, apologetic grin. Keith scowled for a moment longer before relenting, sulking back to the other side of the couch.

“Lance _isn’t_ familiar with the walk of shame at all because he _has_ no shame.” Keith snapped, burying his face in the collar of his jacket. Lance rolled his eyes.

“Damn right, I don’t.” Lance scoffed, lifting up his hands and making as if to count the girls off on his fingers. He smirked over at Keith, waiting patiently. “Remember Rita, she was so-”

“Lance!” Pidge shouted in annoyance, no longer interested whatsoever. Lance wasn’t waiting on their reaction though, he was waiting on Keith’s. Even if it came in the form of a boot landed on his thigh in a kick, a silent request to shut-up already, Lance couldn’t help but smile like a fool. It was so easy to press Keith’s buttons now that he knew all of them by heart.

“Fine, fine, I’ll let you work.” Lance laughed dismissively, holding his hands up in a truce.

The room fell into a comfortable silence pretty easily after that. Hunk and Pidge continued to tinker, Keith relaxed back against his arm of the couch and looked generally exhausted while refusing to give in and take a nap like usual, and Lance sat there lost in his own thoughts. He wasn’t really sure about anything quite yet, but he was curious enough to look into it further, Keith had helped him realize that.

It was nearly an hour later when a hand settled on his shoulder and broke him out of his extensive consideration, fingertips rubbing into the stressed knotted muscle there. He blinked up at Keith, unsure when the other boy had stood up to leave the room. He was thankful Keith had stopped to see him before going though.

Keith… looked almost as unsure and confused as Lance was. He glanced over at Pidge and Hunk to see if they were watching, then cleared his throat to speak under his breath.

“Hey, uh, it’s gonna work out. Not everyone stumbles out of the womb knowing their preferences and there’s no shame in taking longer to figure yours out. People go through life at different paces, that’s just the way it is. I just don’t want you to miss out because you’ve got some preconceived ideas about who you should be ingrained into your head.” Keith said it so hurriedly it came out a rushed, jumbled mess in reality, but Lance managed to catch the gist of it.

He stared up at Keith in awe, reminded again of exactly why he’d set his sights on coming to _Keith_ for advice. “You’re doing just fine, so stop stressing.”

“Keith, I-”

“I’m gonna hit the showers.” Keith announced loudly, to the whole room. Lance bit down on his tongue, deciding that whatever he’d been planning on saying wasn’t important enough for everyone to hear.

“Don’t hit them too hard, we have drones for handling your anger management issues.” Lance teased, expecting Keith to smack him upside the head on his way out. He didn’t though, just hesitated for a second before settling his hand on top of Lance’s head and mussing his hair up.

Then he was gone and Lance was left the blushing, scowling mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope u liked it!! this is one super RARE instance where I've written the entire fic in advance and this story will actually, believe it or not, have a regular updating schedule. I'm not sure if it'll be weekly or twice a week yet?? Maybe I'll say at LEAST weekly. 
> 
> If you liked this please let me know!! i love tastey comments!! i eat em for breakfast!! 
> 
> also these are top secret exclusive links, you can't find them anywhere else on the internet. just saying.
> 
> https://twitter.com/MelancholyMango  
> http://melancholymango.tumblr.com  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J36o0MZ7EzU


	2. Chapter 2

Keith was backtracking out of that exchange as quickly as his legs could carry him. He’d found out through extensive research and practice that his legs could carry him quite fast too, so it was no surprise when he found himself darting into the showers a mere thirty seconds after leaving the lounge.

It was good, being here meant there was no chance left of him running into someone else and having to talk about the flustered deer-caught-in-headlights look he had about him. It was also bad though, mostly because getting here so quickly also meant the memories of the conversation were still fresh in his mind.

The way Lance had looked at him, earnest in the way he was opening his heart up to Keith. He’d looked so vulnerable and confused, of course Keith had given him the best advice he had on stock. The problem was, in helping Lance he was only hurting _himself_ . The idea of someone else helping Lance the rest of the way through this problem, guiding him through the insecurities and inexperience in the way Keith desperately longed to… it was _painful_.

It was always painful, every time Lance started something new with another person, but the difference was that Keith had never given his _blessing_ to those relationships. Here he was encouraging the next one. God, what was he thinking?

Keith stomped over to the showers, choosing the same one he always did regardless of how empty or full the room happened to be. The paladins had developed a bit of a pattern when it came to locker room time, they all kept to themselves in respective corners of the room. Lance took up two showers with all of his product he’d picked up over the past few years.

Scoffing under his breath at the direction his thoughts were taking all over again, Keith rushed himself into the shower before they could get out of hand. He’d spent more than enough hours mindlessly pining over Lance for this lifetime and probably the next, too. He didn’t have the time to spare.

He stripped off quickly and indifferently, jumping under the water’s spray with the confidence that it’d be at the perfect temperature already. Alteans had just mastered some things like that, he hadn’t been exposed to uncomfortably cold water in years. He was spoiled now. Even _thinking_ of his time back in the desert without heated water sent Keith’s skin prickling uncomfortably, and thoughts of the water pressure in that damned shack were even worse.

Relaxing into the hot water and slicking his hair back with it, Keith let out a content sigh to find that his mind was blissfully blank. It wouldn’t last long, but whenever the inkling of a point of focus came back to him Keith would take on the next step of his shower routine to distract himself. He was in the middle of sliding soap along his legs when the sound of something clattering in the room caught his attention.

Keith froze, knelt over with his hands settled on his own bare leg. He was probably out of sight if it was an intruder, but then again the running water would draw them right to where he was. He was better off standing up and preparing himself to fight.

Keith took a deep breath and stood back up, turning around to check out his surroundings. He nearly spun in a complete circle before his gaze landed on the other stall next to him, where tan skin was on display within arm’s reach of him. His fighting stance abruptly dropped, as well as any rational thought dropping from his mind.

“Lance.” Keith blurted without thinking. Lance looked up from where his attention had been on a shampoo bottle in his hands, blue eyes blinking curiously back at Keith.

“Um…” Lance trailed off, reaching up with one hand to start lathering the soap through his hair. Keith was only distantly aware of the fact he was standing there with a slack jaw, watching rivulets of water chase the smooth skin of Lance’s body downward. Thank god for the walls between their showers because Keith had no control over the way he stared. “Yes?”

Leave it to Lance to rip apart every shred of normalcy in the locker room and then have the audacity to look scandalized that Keith was noticing. Hell, usually they showered on completely opposite sides of the room, Keith had to squint to see whether Lance was even undressed or not. That was exactly the kind of set-up Keith liked having, the space between them made it easier on him.

Lance being _here_ , _right in front of him_ , wet and completely _naked_ … that was a unique kind of torture.

“What the fuck are you doing in the stall next to mine?!” Keith snapped suddenly, blinking himself out of his stupor. “There are at least twenty other options in this room! Get away from me!”

Upon seeing Keith’s reaction, Lance seemed to rethink his oblivious and casual approach to whatever he was trying to do. He began to splutter, before schooling his features into something determined. He leaned over the wall between their stalls, earning a slap to the face from Keith that had him reeling back a step.

“I wanted to talk.” Lance explained, rubbing his aching jaw.

“I didn’t!” Keith hissed, covering himself just in case. They stood there glaring at each other for a long moment, until a glob of soapy water ran down Lance’s forehead dangerously close to his eye. He turned back under the water’s spray, rinsing his hair off like Keith wasn’t standing right there watching him.

Stupid Lance with his stupidly toned arms, flexing his muscles and running his fingers through his stupidly silky-looking hair… hair that Keith’s stupid hands were itching to touch.

“Do I look like I care what you want?” Lance responded finally, turning to Keith with sopping hair falling in his eyes. Keith scowled, tearing his eyes away and sheepishly going back to dragging the soap over his own body.

“No. You never do.” Keith sighed, defeated.

“Thank-you.” Lance chirped contently, picking up the next of many tools in his shower routines. “So, I was thinking about what you said earlier, and-”

“No.” Keith grit out immediately, fist clenching around the soap.

“What?”

“I am not becoming your shoulder to cry on about your sex life, oh _hell_ no.” Keith responded gruffly, shoving his head under the water stream unceremoniously. He’d hoped that this would be enough to drown Lance’s voice out entirely, but the pitchy whine next to him could have been heard from the very bottom of the ocean.

“Keith!” Lance whined pathetically, rattling on even as Keith went about scrubbing his discount shampoo through the tresses of his hair. “What you said made sense! It’s not like I have anyone else to talk to about this stuff! Pidge is ace, Hunk is as straight as they come and saving himself for some weird Balmeran marriage ceremony, Allura would slap me for even bringing it up, Coran would be way _too_ eager to talk with me about it, so that leaves-”

Keith was already shaking his head so vehemently that water droplets were no doubt sailing over to hit Lance in the stall next to him. Keith had been doing so good for so long, avoiding Lance’s every attempt at ranting about his sex life. That wasn’t easy either, Lance was constantly venting and bragging to every person within earshot. Keith had to come up with an entire strategy to spend time with Lance and keep his mind on anything but that topic.

And here he was, digging himself his own hole just because he couldn’t keep from helping the person he cared about most through their problems.

“You can fly your ass back to Earth and ask Shiro for help, I’m not doing this.” Keith clenched his jaw, rushing his entire shower just to get himself out of there as quickly as possible.

“Keith!” Lance whined again, no doubt pouting his bottom lip out in that way Keith never could say no to if he happened to see it. Keith was determined not to see it this time though, staring straight ahead as he turned to grab his towel. He stumbled out of the shower stall with it wrapped around his hips, taking a deep breath.

Keith resisted the urge to look back and see if Lance had followed him out of the shower. There was no way he’d had time to finish his usual routine, but it was possible he’d rush just to keep tormenting Keith with his presence. That shouldn’t have been as flattering of a thought as it was.

Quietly, he heard Lance speaking behind him. “Even if I _could_ go to Shiro, it’d be weird talking about sex with him when little teenager me _imagined_ having sex with h-”

“Shut the fuck up, oh my god, I never want to hear another word come out of your mouth again.” Keith snapped, scrubbing his hand across his freshly-cleaned face harsh enough to leave marks behind from his nails. He marched over to the bench where he’d left his clothes, snatching them up and resolving himself to getting dressed in his room. A jaunt through the castle in nothing but a towel was nothing compared to spending another second in Lance’s presence.

“What? Am I putting bad images into your brain?” Lance laughed obnoxiously, even snorting a little bit in a way that Keith might have found cute in any other instance. As it was, he simply frowned harder. It wasn’t exactly the nicest thing in the world to hear your crush swoon over your older brother figure, it hit closer to home than any of the random people that caught Lance’s attention.

“He’s like a brother to me, I don’t want to hear any of this.” Keith grumbled, turning toward the door and finding himself hesitating, against all odds. He took a deep breath, biting his bottom lip.

“Alright, my bad. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. If it helps, I definitely don’t think about him like that anymore. It was only a phase, I promise.” Oddly enough, Keith found that it did help.

“There’s your answer. You wanted to fuck Shiro, that’s pretty gay. Case closed. No further discussion necessary.” Keith jumped at the sound of a snicker just behind him, head whipping around to where Lance had settled on the bench. Keith stared for a long moment at the towel resting low on Lance’s hips before biting back a pained noise and giving in. He settled on the very end of the bench, keeping plenty of space between the two of them.

Lance had cut his ridiculous shower routine short for _him_ , after all, entertaining this conversation was probably the _least_ Keith could do.

“I mean, it’s not really _gay_ because I’m definitely still attracted to girls, so...”

“Bi. Pan. No label.” Keith listed off the options almost as if second nature now, after helping both himself and Pidge through their own sexuality crisis states. He looked down at his toes against the tiled floor, flexing them. “I don’t care how you identify, just don’t talk to me about it.”

“Okay, well, the crisis part of things aside…” Lance trailed off, sounding insecure all over again. Keith felt his shoulders slump lower, the feeling of defeat settling over him like a dark cloud.

He never could walk away from insecure Lance, he was always so vulnerable and needy. Lance never _needed_ Keith normally, or at least he never admitted to needing him. It felt _good_ to be needed, Keith would have to be a stronger man to walk away from that feeling. “I don’t… have any experience. What if I only like it in theory?”

“We haven’t left the planet yet, you have the rest of the night to find one of those guys from before and figure it all out.” Keith suggested, speaking mostly through his teeth to force the words out. His hands had settled on his bare knees, fingers occasionally flexing and digging his own nails into his skin. “And the best part? I don’t need to know _anything_ about it.”

“ _Actually_ ,” Lance started, his voice smooth and sweet, his charm turned up a few notches all of the sudden. There was no doubt in Keith’s mind that he was being played. Lance knew exactly how to get what he wanted, he only ever spoke like that when he wanted something _big_ . Usually it was sex from strangers, but Keith had a feeling he wouldn’t be quite so lucky to have _that_ particular favor asked of him. “I was hoping... you would come with me.”

Lance spoke in such a rush, all of the words seemed to tumble over one another. Keith caught the jist of it easily enough, his eyes scanning Lance’s face for any sign of sarcasm. When he found none, Keith’s thoughts began to race. Lance was asking him to go out with him? Unironically?

_Only to help him get laid_ , Keith’s mind unhelpfully supplied in reminder.

Keith rose to his feet, shaking his head. He had limits. He had standards. He had a point where he had to choose between putting his foot down or letting himself get hurt. Going out somewhere with just Lance sounded like something out of Keith’s dreams, but doing it just to help him find someone else to go home with was straight-up nightmare material. It was one thing being _aware_ of Lance’s love life, but watching it firsthand was cruel.

“Oh, Lance.” Keith purred, low and amused. He tried his best to seem unaffected. “Sweet, naive, _stupid_ -”

“Please?” Lance interrupted, urgency showing in his voice. Keith froze, staring dumbly as Lance batted his eyelashes, bright blue eyes blinking up at him. Keith’s chest felt like it was crumbling in on itself, just like his resolve not to do anything and everything Lance asked of him.

Lance grinned at whatever he saw in Keith’s expression, no doubt sensing he was about to get his way like always. “Pretty please?”

“It’s not happening.” Keith stuttered out hurriedly, spinning around on his heel and speeding out of the room as fast as could be considered casual. He was trying to hide his blushing face, chin tucked down close to his chest as he thought about Lance looking up at him like that, quite literally _begging him_ for a favor. Damn it.

It came as no surprise to Keith when he heard hurried footsteps behind him, bare feet slapping against the hallway floors as Lance rushed after him. He hadn’t really believed it’d be that easy to get away from that conversation and the temptation that accompanied it.

“I’ll pay you.” Lance practically panted the words, catching his breath even as he rushed into speaking. It wasn’t an offer that Keith found particularly tempting, he was pretty well off when it came to his savings as it was. No, the money was nothing in comparison to the simple notion of helping Lance. If he just didn’t think about it, emotionally removed himself from the subject and-

Lance jumped in front of Keith’s path, forcing him to make eye contact. “Look, I wouldn’t ask this of you if I had anyone else to turn to, you know I wouldn’t. I just really think you’re the best person to help me with this. I don’t trust anyone else to give advice like you do. They either don’t understand or make fun of me, you’re the only person I have in my life that’s on equal footing.”

Keith’s hands curled into fists at his side, one moving to hike his towel up. He stared back at Lance, the genuine hope shining in his eyes. This really meant a lot to him. It was something out of the ordinary for the comfortable balance of their relationship, too. They were being earnest about their feelings here, discussing insecurities that weren’t related to their positions in the team or the war itself. It was progress, painful as it was going to be.

And it _was_ going to “be”, because Keith already knew he wouldn’t be able to say no while looking Lance in the eyes.

“How much?” Keith asked, trying to hold onto his pride. Lance held up his fingers, indicating an amount of money that Keith had absolutely no genuine interest in. He wasn’t doing this for that reason, not at all. He had his own selfish reasoning. “What do I have to do?”

Suddenly, Lance looked hesitant. It was like Keith had thrown him for a loop, his eyes wide and his posture skittish compared to before. He shrugged and gave a few nervous chuckles, refusing to make any form of eye contact.

“Nothing, I guess.” Lance muttered, voice not carrying nearly as well as before. “Just give me advice and tell me when I mess up until I convince someone to actually hook-up with me.”

Keith crossed his arms over his bare chest, shifting his weight onto one hip as he stared scrutinizingly at Lance’s state. For all of his eagerness to make this night a reality, it was obvious that he was far from confident about it. Keith must have really inspired him with his advice, for better or for worse.

In truth, more than caring for his own well-being, Keith just wanted Lance to be happy with himself. No matter what he had to go through to help Lance get there, he’d cave every single time.

“Hm.” Keith hummed, pretending he had to put any thought at all into his decision. “Fine.”

“Yeah?” Lance seemed to be in disbelief that Keith had really agreed to help him. Keith wasn’t sure what to make of that, it made him wonder if Lance’s perspective was that skewed or if he needed to be slightly more open about where he stood on matters such as Lance’s well-being. He didn’t want to seem like he cared too much, but maybe he could show that he cared _just a little bit_ more than he was now.

“You’re paying for my drinks.” He blurted, feeling defensive. Lance didn’t even balk at that, simply took to nodding and giggling like a fool. He clapped his hands onto Keith’s shoulders, shaking them lightly back and forth.

“Thank-you, Keith!” Lance exclaimed brightly, suddenly lurching forward and throwing those long arms around Keith’s shoulders completely. Keith’s mind went abruptly blank, his arms falling from his chest to his sides to pinch himself, just to ensure this wasn’t some kind of fever dream. Lance didn’t even hesitate to claim the space Keith had just opened up between them, pressing closer until their bare chests were touching.

Keith took a shaky breath, feeling Lance’s chin tucked in close to his jaw. He could fucking _feel_ every breath Lance took ghosting down the nape of his neck.

“Lance?” Keith croaked out, his head seeming to spin with how light and heavy it felt all at the same time. This was _Lance’s_ body pressed up against his, separated only by a pair of thin castle towels.

“Yes?”

“First thing you’re doing wrong: naked hugs aren’t casual or platonic.” Keith somehow managed to keep his voice even, using every wall-building skill he’d ever picked up on as a defensive orphan to seem detached from the moment. He grit his teeth. “Get the hell off of my body.”

“Yes, Sir!” Lance laughed easily, clearly not affected in the slightest. He bounced backward, raising a hand to his forehead and giving a hearty salute. “I’ll go get some clothes on.”

“Please do.” Keith whispered, watching guiltily as Lance spun around and practically skipped off in the direction of his room, towel hanging dangerously low on his body.

Try as he may, Keith couldn’t keep his gaze off of the retreating form. He was overwhelmed by the pure, unadulterated longing to touch. Not even necessarily in a sexual way, he just wanted to see that body up close, appreciate all the little things that added up to Lance that he hadn’t familiarized himself with.

He had it _so_ bad. Keith was going to fall asleep tonight and dream about the cute little indents at the base of Lance’s spine, adorable dimples just like the ones that showed up whenever he smiled. It was like someone had personally crafted Lance specifically to ruin Keith’s life.

\--

Lance cleaned up well; not that he ever allowed himself to get particularly dirty, but one could definitely tell when Lance was making that extra effort to look good. Keith should have been expecting it, all things considered, but he still found himself standing there in awe when Lance came into view. Form-fitting clothes and a perfectly imperfect tousle to his hair, Lance knew exactly what he was doing when it came to luring in potential suitors.

Hell, Keith had been roped in years ago now and he still felt that same dopey, lovesick feeling every time he laid eyes on the other boy. It only worsened when Lance went and did something like this, dressing himself up to look so absolutely… fuckable.

Keith scowled, getting to his feet from where he’d been sitting on Black’s paw. He gave a nod of greeting to Lance, wordlessly expecting to be followed as he climbed up into the cockpit. Lance wasn’t far behind at all, he seemed to be buzzing with nervous energy.

Truth be told, Keith had never been particularly close to Lance in a scenario like this one. They tended to go their separate ways when it came to social functions. Lance liked to be the center of attention with everyone’s eyes on him, and Keith just… didn’t. He appreciated from afar often enough, but there was something different about sharing the experience with Lance.

He never would have known how much energy Lance had when he was getting ready to go out, he was practically vibrating as he settled onto the arm of Keith’s pilot chair. Keith debated telling him that that was a bad idea with the way he and Black flew, but ultimately he decided to be selfish.

Three seconds after takeoff and Lance had tumbled from his perch, falling clumsily into Keith’s lap.

“Oh.” He looked up with a sheepish grin, cheeks flushed a pretty faded pink. He started to scramble around almost immediately, long limbs splayed in every which direction as he tried to right himself. This meant knocking into Keith multiple times, the lion jerking each time Keith’s hands were forced to shift against the controls. Lance noticed maybe the fifth time this happened. “Uh, sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Keith said, though he wasn’t sure how believable that was with how he had to speak through his teeth to get the words out. He’d thought it’d be amusing watching Lance fall onto his ass on the floor at take-off, hadn’t predicted a lap full of McClain would be the outcome of his pettiness. He probably deserved it, in hindsight.

Oblivious Lance certainly didn’t deserve what was going to happen if he kept shifting around on top of him, though. “Just sit still, it’s only a two minute flight anyway. It’s less distracting that way.”

“Right.” Lance agreed with a loud exhale, nodding his head with determination that seemed to be quickly fading. He squirmed again, but this time it was more a subconscious fidgeting than an active effort to rearrange himself. “I’ll just... stay here then.”

It was the longest two minute flight of Keith’s entire life. By the time it was over, he was dying to shove Lance off of him and get out into the cool night air. They’d been orbiting this planet for the past couple days while doing work here, but this was the first time he’d touched ground where the sun had already set.

“Here we are.” Keith announced, biting his lip as Lance made no effort to move. Keith’s hands gripped the armrests of the chair with a punishing grip, staring down at the top of Lance’s head. “So? How are you feeling?”

“Great!” Lance said, his voice cracking with the amount of force he put into getting the word out. He cleared his throat afterward, chuckling awkwardly. He glanced up at Keith from under the curtain of his fringe, a smarmy little grin on his lips. “How about you?”

“Skeptical.” Keith answered simply, staring Lance down apprehensively.

“That’s your general state of being.” Lance attempted to brush him off, shrugging as he finally got to his feet. Keith scowled, following after him toward the ramp. They’d only just managed to step outside when Lance spun around without warning, causing Keith to knock right into him.

Before a complaint could even be voiced, Lance was hurriedly stuttering through the question(s) that’d caused the uproar in the first place. “I look good, right? This isn’t too much, is it? Should I maybe do another button on my shirt up? I don’t want to look _easy_ , you know.”

And Lance, he was just standing expectantly in front of Keith, gesturing to the whole of himself. Keith stared dumbly, eyes trailing down Lance’s body involuntarily. He’d taken notice of the tight black jeans and almost obnoxious silky dark blue button-up earlier, but now his gaze landed on Lance’s chest where they aforementioned buttons were undone. It really wasn’t that much skin exposed, just enough to flash Lance’s collarbones like some kind of cruel joke.

“Yeah, you’re okay.” Keith blurted dumbly, shoving past Lance and heading down the remainder of the ramp. It was only once they both reached the bottom and started toward the bar that he realized Lance was practically walking on the heels of his shoes every step, without saying a single word since their last exchange. “What?”

“Would it kill you to _pretend_ to care?” Lance grumbled, low and unimpressed. Keith hesitated, turning to stare back at Lance. He really was unfairly attractive, borderline godly with his chiseled jaw and soft cheeks. Sometimes Keith would go to say something to Lance only to find himself rendered speechless by the sheer blue of the other boy’s eyes.

Yet here he was, asking Keith if he looked “good” like that was something that would ever need to be debated. The only way it could possibly be argued that Lance didn’t look “good” was if someone was implying that that was simply too bland of a word to do Lance McClain justice. Which was true, if someone (not Lance) were to ask Keith’s opinion, he’d default to a much more embarrassing word than “good” when describing his friend.

“If you wanna get laid, you’re gonna get laid. Let’s leave it at that.” Keith concluded, his face burning at the thought of someone helping Lance _out_ of those clothes. He turned with intentions of stomping as far ahead as he possibly could, but he hadn’t accounted for how quickly Lance’s long legs could move.

“Ooh, so this is working?” Lance was practically purring, saturating himself in the attention and the compliment he’d just received. He whirled around, walking backwards in front of Keith. “I figured where I dress up for girls, maybe I should dress it down a little bit for guys? I mean _I’m_ a guy and I _never_ complain about more skin being on display, you know what I mean?”

“Mm.” Keith hummed, trying to think about literally anything other than Lance’s skin being on display.

A minute passed in silence and suddenly the door to the bar was looming just ahead of them. Keith was almost relieved to be surrounded by other people for once in his life, at the very least it meant Lance would stop his incessant nervous rambling. Keith risked a glance to the right, where Lance was walking beside him and quietly mumbling something vaguely song-like.

Keith listened closer as they walked up the steps to the bar together.

“Keith and Lance, _out on the town_ .” Lance whisper-sung, hands tucked deep into his pockets and eyes flitting around. “Lance and Keith, _looking to get dicked down_.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“That’s fair.” Lance agreed immediately, nodding his head in understanding. Keith gave an exasperated sigh and shoved the door open, holding it that way so Lance could walk in ahead of him. He didn’t have to rush to catch up though, Lance hung back and practically plastered himself to Keith’s side as they crossed the room toward the bar.

Lance’s hand was on his hip, distracting as it was grounding while Keith attempted to survey the people in the bar. He was vaguely aware that Lance was speaking again, but he was in the middle of shooting his best menacing glare toward any crowd that looked particularly threatening. The last thing he wanted was Lance to end up with the _wrong_ guy, someone who would take advantage of his lack of confidence.

Keith settled on one of the bar stools, surprised when Lance didn’t immediately take the one next to him. He looked up, quirking an eyebrow at the way Lance was fumbling with his hands and refusing to make eye contact. “You know what? Maybe I’m rushing into things here, maybe we should-”

“You’re not gonna chicken out on me, are you?” Keith tried his best to sound teasing, but even he wasn’t deaf to the blatant supporting tone his voice had taken on. He resigned himself to it, lifting his arm and trying not to grimace when Lance immediately slid into the offered embrace as well as the seat next to Keith. There was a smile on his face now, at least, even if Keith’s heart was racing dangerously in his chest because of it.

He looked away, caught between a smile of his own and a frown. “We’re at least getting my free drinks before we leave.”

“Okay.” Lance mumbled, apparently comfortable with where Keith’s arm had settled around his lower back.

Money was exchanged for drinks, drinks were quickly gulped down by Keith while Lance stayed unnervingly sober next to him, no doubt worrying himself sick. Keith frowned, turning to look around the room again.

This particular species of aliens had come across as a little pretentious and stiff earlier when they were ordering the paladins around, but they seemed to be a happy drunk crowd. Keith’s vision darted between the drunkest of the strangers, narrowing in on anyone that looked sober and kind enough to maybe, _potentially_ deserve a chance with Lance.

He felt foolish even thinking about handing Lance off to one of these people, but it wasn’t like he had much choice in the matter. If Keith _had_ to do this, then he was going to do it right and find a guy worth talking to. Keith wanted Lance to understand himself better, even if the price of that was watching him walk away with someone else.

“What about him?” Keith asked, gesturing vaguely toward a particularly jolly fellow settled in one of the booths across the room. Lance looked up from where he’d been drumming his fingers against the bar, his eyes curiously following Keith’s gaze.

“Hm?” Lance furrowed his eyebrows together, clearly struggling to focus on any one person. Keith gave up on the nuance of being polite and instead lifted his hand to point, uncaring what the stranger thought of him. Lance, on the other hand, lit up like a cherry red lightbulb. “Keith, stop it! He can see us staring!”

“So?” Keith turned expectantly, shrugging his shoulders. “Do you find him attractive or not?”

“ _Keith_.”

“Wh-” Keith started to say something, cut-off by the feeling of a heavy hand settling on his shoulder. He paused, looking up and half-expecting to see Shiro with how comfortable this person seemed to be with touching him. It wasn’t anyone he recognized immediately though, it even took him a moment to figure out that this was the person he’d just been pointing at, now standing right in front of him.

Conversation with Lance momentarily on hold, Keith gave the guy a nod of greeting.

“Hey.” The stranger said, fighting back a smile by the looks of it. Keith mentally thanked him for that, considering he’d seen the rows of shark-like teeth these aliens had and wasn’t quite ready to familiarize himself with them.

“Oh, hi.” Keith said, doing a poor job at masking how uninterested he was given the way Lance gasped in offense. Keith rolled his eyes, vowing to be a little bit more considerate. He wasn’t particularly interested in entertaining any flirting tonight, but if he was setting an example for Lance he’d try his best.

“I couldn’t help but notice you looking my way.” The stranger asked, a cocky glint in his eyes that wasn’t entirely unlike the one Lance sometimes wore. It wasn’t nearly as appealing on someone that _wasn’t_ Lance, however. “Can I help you with anything?”

“I haven’t decided yet.” Keith hummed, thoughtful as he allowed his eyes to wander. The guy wasn’t exactly unattractive, but a hook-up wasn’t what Keith had had in mind when he went out tonight. He’d been too busy thinking about Lance, like usual.

He wasn’t _opposed_ to it, though. He was actually less and less opposed to it the longer he spent considering his options. Keith finished checking the stranger out and looked up at him again, flashing his first genuine smile of the conversation. “You tell me.”

His confidence thoroughly boosted the moment Keith showed the slightest hint of interest, the stranger puffed his chest out and extended the hand that’d just been on Keith’s shoulder. Keith took it and gave it a hesitant shake, aware of Lance closely observing the entire exchange.

“I’m Zhiix.” The man introduced himself, eyeing the empty chair on the other side of Keith fervently. He seemed determined if nothing else, like he’d set his sights on Keith and had no intentions of looking anywhere else tonight. That was also where the problem arose though.

Keith knew Lance, _knew_ that his idiot friend was probably sitting there second-guessing everything about himself because the guy they’d picked out in a crowd had approached Keith instead of _him_. The last thing he’d wanted to do tonight was worsen Lance’s insecurities. A good lay was in no way worth hurting the person he cared about most.

“Keith.” He introduced himself curtly, squaring his shoulders to look slightly less approachable, hoping Zhiix would take the hint and not invite himself to sit down. Hint taken, Zhiix looked a little confused, but he stayed standing.

Keith bit the inside of his cheek, hyper-aware of what he was about to sign himself up for. He exhaled, giving in the moment he risked a glance in Lance’s direction and saw the dejected look on his friend’s pouting face. “Tell me, Zhiix, you know anyone who might be interested in my friend here?”

Lance perked up immediately, looking infinitely less sad but a lot more anxious. It was an improvement though, or so Keith told himself to try and deal with the regret already settling heavy on his chest. What was he doing asking a question like that? He _knew_ someone who would definitely be interested in Lance, so why was he out here finding someone else to fill his own shoes? Idiot.

It was easier than confessing and risking rejection on the surface, but was it actually? It was going to hurt like hell watching someone else make Lance smile, knowing that they got to hold him solely because Keith had _invited_ them to.

“I’m fairly certain I’d be able to find someone.” Zhiix agreed, contemplatively eyeing Lance like he was debating just who he would suit. Keith shifted protectively closer, heart hammering in his chest. Zhiix followed the movement with his inhumanly large eyes, no doubt seeing right through to Keith’s terribly hidden feelings for the boy at his side. “Would you… _like_ me to?”

“Yeah, please.” Keith lied through his teeth, forcing a smile. Zhiix nodded and turned around, heading back to the table he’d been sitting at originally. Keith let out the breath he’d been holding, jumping slightly when Lance exhaled just as heavily next to him. “Something wrong?”

“You can’t just… come out and _ask_ someone to sleep with me.” Lance grumbled, looking adorably modest for once in his life. Keith grinned despite himself, turning around to down the remainder of his drink.

“It’s not as hard as you’re making it out to be, just zero in on what you want and go after it. It’s what you do every time you’re near a woman.”

“That’s not the same!”

“It is.” Keith insisted, refusing to make eye contact because of just _how_ similar this was. He could already feel the dread setting in, the knowledge that tomorrow morning Lance would come dancing into the dining hall with that sex glow about him, ready to brag about his recent conquest. He was never all that explicit, he had some reserve when it came to the details, but it didn’t matter to Keith how it’d happened exactly, only that it _had_.

Lance had chosen someone else over him yet again, another notch in his belt and another hole in Keith’s remaining hope that he’d ever be enough to change the ongoing pattern.

Keith curled his fist tighter around his glass. “You have slept with countless women and no two of them have ever had remotely similar bodies, Lance. This has nothing to do with the physical act of being with a man, it’s all in your head. You just need to fuck that way of thinking right out of your brain, trust me.”

“I don’t trust you at all.” Lance mumbled quietly, his voice distant. Keith’s eyes immediately widened, his own emotions put on the backburner as he recognized the growing anxiety building in Lance’s voice.

“ _Lance_ .” Keith spoke gently, risking a glance over his shoulder to where Zhiix was approaching again with a friend in tow. Keith looked back to Lance, hurriedly trying to say what he needed to before they were interrupted. “It’s okay if you change your mind, you know. No matter what I say, this isn’t my decision to make, only you can tell what _you_ want. So if you don’t want this, don’t force yourself through it. Just tell me and we can get out of here.”

Keith held himself back for all of thirty seconds before dropping his hand onto the bar, pinky finger inching closer still until it wrapped around Lance’s in the closest thing to a physical supportive gesture Keith was gonna allow himself to give right now. Lance stared down at their hands, then glanced back to where the others were approaching them.

“I guess his friend _is_ kinda cute.”

“Yeah?” Keith’s head seemed to spin, whiplash affecting him from the way he jerked back and forth between wanting Lance to succeed and wanting him to fail. He felt selfish, no matter how badly he _wanted_ to be selfless. He wanted Lance to be happy with himself, always. He couldn’t honestly say he wanted Lance to he happy with someone else, though.

“I’m gonna keep an open-mind, see where it goes.” Lance announced decisively, gesturing for the bartender to grab them another drink. Keith had a feeling this one wasn’t for him, but rather to aid Lance’s courage. “Who knows? Maybe that’s Mr. Blue Lion walking toward me right now.”

Wasn’t that the funny thing? No one knew. Any one of these people Lance fell for impulsively and took to bed could be _the one_. The one that he grew attached to and chose to never let go of, the one that got to hold his heart as closely as his body… the one that stole the spotlight in his life and shoved Keith so far off stage that he blended right into the shadows.

Lance wanted it so very badly, had tried to force it so many times, but it was bound to happen sooner or later. Someone was going to fill that soulmate-sized hole in Lance’s chest and here Keith was showing off different shapes.

“Keith.” Zhiix greeted them warmly, eyes focused entirely on Keith. It would have been unsettling or flattering, depending on the mood, but as it was Keith couldn’t even force himself to care one way or the other.

He was instead staring at the bright individual standing _next to_ Zhiix. Keith wasn’t viewing him as some quick hook-up for Lance to experiment with anymore, he was viewing this stranger as someone with the potential to ruin everything he was working so hard to build.

It’d taken years to get this close to Lance, to reach a point where he could believe that he really might be that person Lance spent his days dreaming of. Obviously he wasn’t there yet, Lance hadn’t even started to consider him as an option, but he was infinitely closer than he’d been when this crush thing had first developed. And if it kept progressing like that, then maybe… just maybe… God, he could hope, _right_?

He could hope until he was dizzy with the stuff, but that wouldn’t change anything if someone who was _already_ everything Lance wanted came along, someone who didn’t _need_ to put any work into becoming better to fit the role. Keith found himself scowling, one of those strong-willed stubborn emotions Shiro had always warned him about flaring up inside of him.

Zhiix noticed how distracted Keith was, his own smile faltering. He coughed, going about making introductions. “This is my friend, Leon.”

“Nice to meet you.” Leon spoke immediately, voice smooth and alluring, probably exactly the kind of bad boy bullshit Lance would be into.

“This is Lance.” Keith deadpanned, wiping any and all emotions from his expression as he addressed Leon. “He’s not looking for anything long-term.”

“Keith!” Lance hissed, swatting at Keith’s side. He wasn’t genuinely angry, more flustered that Keith was being so blunt about all of this.

It was true that Lance wasn’t actively seeking anything long-term tonight. Sure, his general state of being was in-love with love and he’d never turn down an opportunity for a relationship if it happened to present itself, but tonight in particular he’d been seeking something purely experimental. Keith wasn’t falsely advertising, he was just… omitting important details for his own benefit.

“Think you can give him what he’s after?” Keith was straight to the point, not wanting to spend even a second allowing them to mingle in front of him. The looming dread was already eating away at him, the fear that this might really be the person he lost Lance to.

Shiro had been the one to tell him that when he was scared inside, his outward reaction was always brash decisions and hostility. However, Shiro wasn’t much better at expressing his insecurities and the emotions he viewed as weak, so Keith hadn’t really taken much away from that statement at the time. It felt like a hollow thing, Shiro pointing it out more to warn Keith to keep it in check rather than to give him an outlet. He’d always looked up to Shiro so much, the last thing he’d wanted to do was bog the other man down with his problems, his weakest thoughts and feelings.

No, it wasn’t until Keith had grown close to Lance and the two of them had started to discuss these things that Keith realized talking about his fears and worries wasn’t a weakness. It made him feel _stronger_ , knowing he wasn’t alone with them. Lance was patient and kind, he gave advice after acknowledgement, stood by Keith and helped him clean up the messes he made rather than rubbing his nose in them.

So, as easy as it would have been to dissolve into an angry outburst and fly into this guy and outta this bar with no explanation whatsoever for his actions, he stayed exactly where he was. He made a promise to Lance, the person who had sat with him after every one of those irrational outbursts and tried to make sense of it with him, rather than _at_ him. So just this once, he was going to grit his teeth and fight his natural instinct to raise fists and run the moment he felt cornered. Lance deserved that much.

He would take the chance and tease fate just this once, praying all the while that he wasn’t making as big of a mistake as it felt like this was.

“Well, I was expecting a chance to get to know him first, but-”

“No!” Lance laughed, shaking his head hurriedly. He reached out and grabbed Leon’s hand, a flighty little smile twitching across his lips. Keith watched it with a faraway feeling, already looking forward to the next day when Lance would be home again. “I’d love to get to know you first, let’s go talk.”

Then they were gone, crossing the room together and heading toward one of the empty booths. Keith exhaled through his teeth, grabbing the drink Lance had ordered only to forget about, and downing it in one long swig. Zhiix settled into the seat Lance had only just been occupying, propping his elbow up on the bar as he turned to Keith.

“Is this his first time doing something like this?”

“Sorta.” Keith mumbled, not about to go into detail. He turned to look at Zhiix, hair falling into his eyes and blocking his view, not that it really mattered. He would have willingly wasted time with anyone in this bar right about now, just to keep his mind off of what was happening on the other side of it. In fact, almost all of Keith’s hook-ups happened on the same nights as Lance’s or close to them. They were stress relief more than sexual relief. A distraction.

Zhiix was looking like a damn good distraction right now. “You wanna dance?”

“I take it you’re not looking for anything long-term either?” Zhiix had a knowing look on his face and Keith didn’t really like it all that much. He hated when strangers assumed they knew him, that they could see right through him. He may have been transparent about some of his feelings, but those weren’t what defined him as a person.

He thrusted a hand toward Zhiix, wiggling his fingers unenthusiastically.

“Emotionally unavailable, nice to meet you.” Keith said plainly, nodding his head. Zhiix stifled a laugh and humored him, shaking the proffered hand. They stood up together then, that same heavy hand settling on Keith’s lower back and veering him toward the dancefloor.

“Does he know?” They _nearly_ made it there unscathed before Zhiix had to go and speak again, voice quiet and filled with fake concern. It had to be fake concern, why else would some stranger be standing there patronizing Keith about his unrequited crush?

When Keith offered absolutely nothing in response, Zhiix took a hint for once in his life and let the subject drop. “Let’s dance.”

As the next hour passed, what started out as dancing quickly dissolved into shamelessly grinding their bodies together in front of an entire room’s worth of an audience. He wasn’t sure when it’d happened exactly, but Keith’s leggings were suddenly too tight and his hair was clinging obscenely to the back of his neck with sweat. He was _horny_ , desperate for relief and a private place to chase after it.

“F-Fuck.” Keith groaned, biting his lips to try and stifle the noises that threatened to follow now that he’d let one slip.

“Wanna get outta here?” Zhiix asked without missing a beat, surprisingly good at taking the lead when it came to this sort of thing. Keith nodded dumbly, grabbing the man’s hand where it rested on his hip and urging it downward.

He wasn’t normally like this, though this was the first time in a long time he’d allowed someone else to call the shots. Normally he threw himself at the first non-Lance person he laid eyes on when he wanted a quick distraction fuck, and with that boldness usually came an unspoken agreement that Keith would be that domineering for the rest of the night. It wasn’t necessarily a preference, just how things normally tended to go.

The point being that Keith was looking forward to finally getting fucked by someone who actually had half a clue on how to handle him. So, if he was having difficulty keeping his hands to himself until they were behind closed doors? Not his fault. He didn’t _like_ waiting, had never been a patient person.

Zhiix hummed in amusement, humoring Keith’s needy behavior and allowing his hand to be tugged southward. Palm settled over the obvious outline of Keith’s cock, Zhiix applied just barely enough pressure to be felt before sheepishly pulling away.

Keith didn’t even try to hide his angry frown in response to that, refusing to admit just how close he’d been to outright whining when he didn’t get his way. Zhiix wasn’t paying his sulking any mind though, had even started to shift the rest of their bodies apart. Keith would have protested more, if he hadn’t realized that Zhiix was only getting ready to _leave_.

Without the closeness and the heat of another body pressed into his, Keith’s thoughts were coming back to him though. He trailed after Zhiix toward the door, and on the way he found his eyes darting toward one booth in particular time and time again. It took him an embarrassing amount of time to remember why.

He froze in place.

“I need to check that Lance can get himself home safely.” Keith blurted, stumbling over the words in his absolute scramble to get them out. Zhiix turned back to look at him, a melancholy sort-of understanding flickering in his eyes.

“Alright.” He agreed, flashing a winning fake smile. For a brief moment, Keith stopped to wonder just how many good guys he’d pushed out the door and out of his life since falling for Lance. He’d always had a tendency to self-sabotage the few good things that came his way, but this wasn’t something subconscious and it wasn’t something unintentional.

Good things were good, but they were never on Lance’s level. He wasn’t sabotaging himself because he felt he didn’t deserve what he’d been given, no, for once in his life he was sabotaging things because he had his sights set on something so much _better_.

He did feel slightly apologetic as he watched Zhiix shifting toward the bar, clearly feeling awkward about how obvious Keith’s priorities were. “Meet you by the bar in ten?”

“Yeah.” Keith agreed, giving his hook-up of the night a once-over before turning.

The booth Lance and Leon had been sitting in earlier was no longer occupied, so either Lance had gone home with him (unlikely, he would have texted unless his phone was dead) or they’d gone out back to the bathrooms for some privacy. Keith figured he’d check and see. He was a little bit too lost in his own headrush of arousal and alcohol to remember just how much he didn’t want to walk in on Lance with some other guy.

He stepped into the washrooms, swiping a hand through his hair when he caught a glimpse of his debauched appearance in the long mirrors. The room seemed pretty deserted, but maybe they’d taken to a stall and were being quiet in fear of being walked in on.

“Lance? You in here?” Keith called, not expecting an answer. He leaned over the sink to splash some cool water on his face.

“Keith?” There was something about Lance’s voice that immediately settled heavy in Keith’s gut. It was both jarringly unfamiliar and eerily similar at the same time.

He was suddenly struck by vague late night memories of a blubbering anxious mess of Lance, a particular Lance that he’d only met a few times in the early hours of the morning when he couldn’t sleep. He might not always remember their conversations the morning after, but damn if Keith could ever forget the raw hurt in Lance’s voice when his anxiety got the better of him. That was exactly what he was hearing now.

“Lance?” Keith called, slamming the faucet off and walking along the row of cubicles. He knocked on each one, making it to the second last before the door creaked open in front of him. He didn’t even get the chance to knock. He stepped inside without hesitation, plastering himself against the door the moment it closed and locking it behind him.

Lance was sitting on the toilet, fully dressed but looking infinitely more exposed than when Keith had been with him earlier. He wasn’t crying, but the streaky look on his cheeks said he had been. Keith’s upper lip curled into a sneer, fists forming at his sides. “What’s wrong? Did he hurt you? I swear on my fucking life, I’ll find him and rip his-”

“I really don’t like it.” Lance blurted, clearly not listening to what Keith was saying in the slightest. His hands were shaking in his lap, knees nervously bouncing. “I think I’m straight after all, I was _totally_ wrong about this. He kissed me and it was terrible, I was _so_ uncomfortable! I almost gagged on his tongue! And then he tried to ask me to go home with him and like hell I was going to do that so I not-so-accidentally spilled my drink on myself and-”

“Lance, shut-up.” Keith blurted, only now taking notice of the huge damp stain across the front of Lance’s shirt with the way the other man was doubled over. Lance flinched. Keith immediately regretted his word choice, cursing himself for not being a gentler person, not for the first time in his life.

He knelt in front of Lance, carefully walking closer on his knees until he was able to look up at his friend’s face. “Are you okay?”

“Y-Yeah, I’m good now. He was pretty understanding.” Lance nodded his head, slowly and then quicker as he seemed to grow more confident with his answer. He reached out and grabbed a fistful of toilet paper, loudly blowing his nose and tossing the soiled tissue between his legs into the toilet bowl. He leaned forward, resting his head in his hands. “I didn’t like it.”

“That’s okay.” Keith spoke hurriedly, shifting closer and reaching up to brush Lance’s hair back from where it was plastered to his forehead. He looked unhealthily pale compared to usual, sweating buckets in his panicky state. Keith sighed, carefully prying Lance’s hands away from his own face and replacing them with his. “You tried, alright? That’s fine.”

“But you said it was all in my head, that-” Keith cringed inwardly with regret, hurriedly shaking his head.

“I will never know what you like better than you do.” He whispered, leaning up to press their foreheads together.

Lance blinked steadily back at him, eyes watery again. He looked vaguely guilty, like he was blaming himself for the night not working out. Keith hated the thought that he might have contributed to the pressure on Lance rather than helped it. “Don’t try to force something you don’t want.”

“I thought I did.” Lance mumbled, biting his lip. “I _really_ thought I wanted it for a while. The flirting and the dancing was nice, but I didn’t like the kissing at all.”

“That’s okay.” Keith repeated, his voice taking on a pleading tone.

“Do you think it was him or me? Maybe I actually am into guys, but he just wasn’t the right one to try it out with. Or it could be that I just freaked out at the first sign of things getting serious and if I’d stayed around a little longer I would have-”

“It doesn’t matter, you didn’t like the direction things were taking so you were right to stop it before it progressed any further.” Keith cut him off, not wanting to entertain this idea that this could somehow be Lance’s fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, things just weren’t meant to play out that way. The thought of Lance gritting his teeth and bearing it, forcing himself through anything he wasn’t genuinely into… it made Keith feel sick to his stomach.

Lance fell silent for a long moment, his hand coming up to settle over Keith’s on his face. It was only then that Keith realized his fingers had been shaking, tensing and relaxing against Lance’s cheek as he tried to deal with the waves of heavy emotions he was drowning in currently. A knowing look flickered across Lance’s face and then his hand was on Keith’s cheek, pressing the corner of his lips up into a smile.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Lance cooed, soft and comforting, so much better at this sort of thing than Keith would ever be. Keith couldn’t help but feel guilty now for what a piss-poor job he’d done at trying to reassure the other. “I’m fine. Nothing happened. I just… really didn’t expect things to go like this.”

“Things like this aren’t always black and white.” Keith offered, resisting the urge to close his eyes and lean into Lance’s caring touch. “Maybe you only like guys romantically and not sexually, maybe he just wasn’t right for you, maybe the atmosphere threw you off, it’s hard to know for sure. One thing I _do_ know is that I was wrong to try and rush you into this.”

“But what if Mrs. Blue Lion is-”

“If Mrs. Blue Lion is a Mr…. then he will respect you enough to help you through the confusion that brings. Your sexuality crisis won’t scare him off.” Keith promised, a weak smile making its way onto his face at the thought. The person Lance ended up with _would_ respect his wishes and take their time with him, and Keith could promise that because he would personally make sure of it.

He got to his feet, brushing himself off before holding a hand out to Lance. “Who knows, maybe he’ll even find it endearing watching you flounder around like a fish out of water.”

Keith waited patiently, anticipation swirling in his stomach, and as if on cue Lance’s lips began to curl into a smile. He chuckled quietly, looking up at Keith with fond exasperation.

“Are you making fun of me?”

“Come on, let’s get you home.” Keith offered, squeezing hard when Lance grabbed his hand. They left the bathroom stall together, uncaring when a stranger shot them a curious look. Lance headed straight for the mirrors, looking over his appearance with what could only be described as begrudged acceptance.

“You sure? You don’t mind leaving early?” Lance asked, unbuttoning his soaked shirt and throwing it onto the edge of the sink. Keith stared at Lance’s chest for a long moment until a hand was shoved into his face, fingers snapping expectantly. He tore his jacket off in record time, offering it up to Lance with an embarrassing amount of eagerness.

Lance smirked at him in the mirror, accepting the offering and shrugging it on. Keith watched closely, a warmth blossoming in his chest at the sight of Lance wearing his clothes, no matter how impractical a cropped jacket looked without anything else underneath. “What happened to Zhiix? Things didn’t work out?”

Keith blinked. He’d completely forgotten about the person waiting on him back at the bar.

“They were going to, but…” He trailed off, uncertain how to explain himself exactly. Lance’s eyes seemed to soften with recognition anyway, the slightest trace of guilt there. Keith wanted to chase it away the moment he saw it.

“Oh.” Lance mumbled, turning to leave. Keith followed after him, walking close. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, tonight wasn’t about me.” Keith insisted hurriedly, holding the door open for Lance. When that excuse didn’t immediately get Lance to relax, Keith found himself blurting out another one. “I didn’t even really like him all that much.”

Lance looked over at him then, a breathless sort of laugh snorting out through his nose. Keith grinned dumbly, considering his mission to cheer the other up a success.

“You don’t like anyone all that much.” Lance countered, but there was a playful edge to the words. Keith pressed himself closer to Lance as they left the building, stepping out into the cool night air and putting the events of the evening behind them.

Lance kept looking at him out of the corner of his eye, no doubt expecting to be hit for that comment. Keith hit him. “I’m kidding! I know you have an ooey gooey center under all those hard layers. You’ve got your vicious layer you show to strangers, your defensive layer when things don’t go how you want them to, your touch-starved late-night layer, your weirdly insightful and genuine l-”

“Stop talking about my layers, you make me sound like an ogre.” Keith grumbled, stomping up to the black lion and watching as the ramp lowered to let them up. In reality, he was just puzzled when and how Lance had managed to get to know him so well.

Lance pushed him aside just as he started to climb the ramp, racing inside ahead of him. Keith looked up at the night sky, shaking his head ruefully at the stars, as if they could explain why he’d chosen to fall for such an utter child.

“Hut in the middle of the swamp or shack in the middle of the desert? Both sound like ogre homes to me!” Lance yelled back at him from the Lion’s mouth, pointing fingers. Keith stalked up the ramp even as Lance disappeared inside, unsurprised to find him settled in the pilot’s chair when he got there.

Lance was sprawled sideways across either armrest, long legs hanging over the edge. He lifted his foot, pointing the tip of his shoe toward Keith’s face. “I’m onto you, Kogane. K _ogre_ ne.”

“Damn, you’ve found me out.” Keith grumbled, lifting Lance’s legs and shoving them aside so he could scooch into the space beside and underneath Lance’s body. It was uncomfortable and cramped, the both of them pressed together at the side to the point that breathing was difficult, but Keith wasn’t about to mention that and jinx it. “I’m not a Galra at all, I’ve been Shrek-spawn this whole time. How am I gonna break the news to Krolia that my real mother is still out there?”

And Lance… he just crumpled over with a pathetic wheeze. For a horrifying moment, Keith worried that maybe he’d been poisoned or something at the bar, staring at the trembling and breathless boy pressed into his side. Then he was laughing, high and pitchy and obnoxious, little snorts and splutters working their way in every time he attempted to compose himself. Keith stared in awe, too caught up in the moment to remember what he’d even said to garner such a reaction.

“How buzzed are you? You turn so lame the second you have alcohol in your system.” Lance giggled, hoisting himself up with a hand on Keith’s shoulder. Reminded again that something he’d done had caused such a reaction, Keith wracked his brain to figure it out. It was just their usual dumb back and forth banter, he hadn’t even said anything particularly witty.

He definitely didn’t deserve the way Lance was staring at him now, eyes shining with mirth and lips still quirked up in the sweetest little grin. A hand dropped into Keith’s hair and gave it a standard pat, hardly even touching him really, and still a full-body shiver wracked his frame. “Don’t get me wrong, I love it, I’m just curious how much it takes to get you to this point for future reference.”

“Stop tryna get me drunk and take advantage of me, you fiend.” Keith muttered, biting his lips to keep from smiling.

“I just want you to loosen up and relax! If I have to intoxicate you to get those stressed circles to disappear from under your eyes, then so be it!” Lance insisted, playfully prodding at Keith’s cheek to enforce his point. Keith swatted his touches away, blushing.

They fell into a comfortable silence as Keith finally managed to wrestle Lance into sitting still enough for them to take off. The flight passed a lot quicker this time, which should have been a relief, but in reality it left Keith aching. He didn’t want the night to end.

It wasn’t often that they had time to themselves. Sure, he could always just _ask_ Lance to spend time with him, but that wasn’t how they operated. It was like they needed an excuse to warrant being near each other, something to explain why they were choosing each other’s presence over anyone else on the team after how long they’d blatantly advertised their dislike for each other.

The others would question it if they started hanging out at random. They’d probably tease them, maybe even catch on to Keith’s feelings. God, that was the last thing he wanted.

So, even though it pained him, he landed the lion into the cockpit and prepared himself to end the night just like that. Lance had been suspiciously quiet next to him the entire flight, but he’d gone through a lot throughout the night so Keith wasn’t going to bring it up. He was, however, going to bring up the way Lance had yet to make any effort to move, despite the lion having landed a minute ago or more.

“L-”

“Thanks for being so cool about all of this.” Lance interrupted him, turning so they could both look at each other. Keith’s mouth was still hanging open, but he slowly shut it and nodded his head. Lance beamed a bright smile like that was exactly the response he’d been hoping for. “I’m really glad we did this, even if it kinda sucked.”

Keith nodded in agreement again, uncertain how to approach this situation. It was pretty far from the ordinary realm of their relationship. Not only were they all alone after spending a night out together, but now they were sharing a _moment_. He was half-expecting, half-hoping Lance to turn it into a joke and then stroll out of here with finger guns raised high.

He didn’t though, he just stared back at Keith with an earnest smile just for him.

“Bonding moment 2.0?” Keith laughed, a poor joke to cover his poorly-concealed feelings. Lance laughed at it anyway, a quiet little snicker. They still hadn’t really talked about the bonding moment, or why Lance had vehemently denied it afterward, but they’d gotten to the point where they had a little inside joke going on between them and that was enough.

They lapsed back into silence and for once in his life, Lance wasn’t putting any of the effort into breaking them out of it. Keith was at a loss. He’d never been good at carrying conversations on his own, that was one of the reasons he liked Lance so much to begin with, the other boy did the hard part all on his own and just carried Keith along with him. He’d never done this before. All of the pressure was on _Keith_ to say or do something to put an end to the night.

The worst part was, he couldn’t even read the way Lance was looking at him to try and gauge what he _wanted_ Keith to say. Lance’s eyes were faraway from the moment, clearly lost in thought. Keith selfishly wished that Lance could think literally anywhere else.

“Keith?” Lance spoke up suddenly, though his eyes were still glassy with mixed emotions. Keith was starting to properly panic now, eyes flitting across Lance’s features for any giveaway to what might be going on here.

“What?” He responded, voice embarrassingly transparent as to how nervous he actually was. He bit down on his tongue, swearing not to say anything else until Lance had explained. The problem with that was that Lance had spaced out again, looking like he had no intention whatsoever of explaining anything at all.

Keith’s worry outweighed his pride. “Lance? Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, I-”

“Is there something you didn’t tell me earlier? You can talk to me, I’ll understand.”

“I know, but-”

“Just let me know what’s going on and I’ll-” Keith was cut-off this time instead of Lance. One second he was speaking so fast that his worried words blurred together into something unintelligible and messy, then the next second his thoughts did the same as lips smashed against his hard enough to bruise. He flinched as their noses bumped, too shocked to realize that he was leaning away from the feeling rather than into it.

Lance backed off in a heartbeat, eyes wide and frantic, apologies already tumbling past the lips that’d just been pressed to Keith’s. “Sorry. I’m really sorry, that was rude. Fuck.”

Now it was Keith’s turn to leave reality. He barely registered Lance’s words, head swimming with the knowledge that Lance had just _kissed_ him. The object of his affection, the only person that’d ever made him feel anywhere near what he was apparently capable of feeling, the one thing in his life that had always hovered so insistently and teasingly ahead of where he was.

Keith had spent months meticulously thinking about how this moment would happen, how things between them would play out leading up to it. He’d tended to their changing and growing relationship with the most careful hand he’d ever treated anything with. He’d been so scared of overdoing it for so long, terrified of making a move he couldn’t come back from, so hyper-aware of how very fragile this whole thing was.

And here Lance was, swooping in and stealing Keith’s impulsive crown right off his head, sending them hurtling out into the unknown.

“Hm?” Keith hummed, the sound coming across like it was a mile underwater. He didn’t feel like he was drowning, though. Instead, it was the very acute feeling of _soaring_. He’d felt it before, the first time he’d flown above the skyline in a Galaxy Garrison craft, and so many times since in his respective lions, but this was the most exposed he’d ever been while he was lost in the clouds.

He could feel Lance nervously shifting against his side, itching with the urge to run away and end the night now. Keith didn’t want that to happen, so he forced himself to crash land back on solid ground and blurt at least something out to keep the moment from ending. “ _Rude_?”

“I should have asked.” Lance clarified, which wasn’t clearing things up at all, but Keith nodded along so enthusiastically he started to feel dizzy with it. Lance laughed at his enthusiasm, though it was only an impersonation of the usual bubbliness his laughter held. He was still anxious, probably thinking he’d messed things up between them.

Keith rushed to reassure him.

“It’s okay, Lance. It’s actually, uh, _really_ okay, so you don’t need to overthink-”

“I just wanted to know if it’d be different? With a guy? If the guy was someone I knew?” Lance continued to explain, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth.

Suddenly everything that’d been foggy was vividly clear. Realization hit Keith like a train and then he was burying himself underground, already vowing to forget what the sky had ever looked like. Duh, Lance hadn’t _meant_ anything by it, he wasn’t even sure if he liked boys yet!

Keith silently cursed himself for getting his hopes up like that. He’d never believed himself to be a naive person, but at the first chance of Lance reciprocating his feelings all of the skepticism and common sense in Keith’s head had flown out the window. He just wanted it to be true so badly, nothing else mattered for those few seconds where it _could have been_.

It wasn’t true. Lance didn’t have feelings for him, not like that anyway. Lance was just… experimenting.

He was experimenting with _Keith_.

Was that a good thing? He had wanted to be in this position so badly when he was offering Lance up to other guys at the bar, he’d wanted so much it _hurt_ . Now that he was here though, he wasn’t really sure what to make of it. He knew what he thought of _the kiss_ , knew that even with the messy disastrous way it’d played out he’d give anything to do it again, even if it went just as badly. He just… wasn’t sure that he knew what to do with the knowledge that he saw Lance as something so much more than what Lance was seeing _him_ as right now.

Lance seemed uncertain on how to take the scowl that’d crossed Keith’s features. He fidgeted, trying to explain his perspective further, like Keith wasn’t already aware of exactly what was happening here now. “You know, so I’d be more comfortable and could actually think about the act rather than the situation.”

“Uh-huh.” Keith managed, reaching up to hesitantly brush his fingertips across his lips, like that might help him make sense of how he felt. It didn’t really, only made him immediately miss the closeness and the feeling of it. Having Lance pressed in so close to him, all warm breath and heavy hands, Keith missed it already.

Keith tapped his fingers there, telling himself that he needed to think this through. He was playing with fire here. He knew that. The sensible thing to do would be take a step back to think before letting anything else progress between them. He was curious though, Lance hadn’t really shared what _he_ thought of what had just happened. “Did you reach a conclusion?”

Lance looked scandalized for a brief moment, like Keith was asking him something so innately private to him as a person that it was unforgivable. His gasp faded into a frustrated sigh almost immediately, like he was struggling to find words to express himself.

“It… wasn’t _that_ bad?” Lance tried, flushing so hard even the tips of his ears were darkening a shade or two. Keith stared in awe, knowing that _he’d_ done that. He’d made Lance flustered just like Leon had at the bar earlier. That look was reserved solely for him this time.

Lance noticed the way he was looking and seemed to curl in on himself, feeling self-conscious and preparing himself for rejection. “It wasn’t _good_ , the kiss itself was terrible but… I didn’t hate it. I don’t think I’d be opposed to maybe, possibly trying it again— _if you wanted to_ , of course!”

“Yeah, I’ll do it.” Keith said immediately, any sense of maintaining his casual act forgotten. His heart was racing in his chest, thudding heavily each time Lance’s long lashes would lift to show the pretty blue eyes so close to Keith’s own. They were breathtaking at this proximity, not that Keith had been able to breathe properly before with Lance pressed up close sharing the chair with him.

Lance was, understandably, not as blindly eager to continue as Keith was. He blinked, curiously eyeing Keith like he hadn’t expected him to say yes. Was it odd for Keith to say yes to something like this? Damn it, he was having trouble thinking straight. He backtracked, quick to come up with an excuse. “I told you I was gonna help you figure this out, didn’t I?”

Lance furrowed his eyebrows together, nose scrunching up adorably in confusion.

“No, you didn’t. You told me you were gonna go out to the bar and try to find me a one night stand, you didn’t promise me anything more than-” Keith cut him off, growing impatient the more time he had to consider how long the wait leading up to this moment had been. He had to act fast on the simple knowledge that he might not ever get a chance like this again.

He reached up to cup Lance’s jaw, pulling him in to meet halfway. This time when their lips met it wasn’t rough or clumsy, it was the softest touch Keith could bring himself to suffer through. Excited as he was to have this opportunity, he didn’t want to spook Lance by rushing into things.

When no one pulled away at the first peck, Keith allowed himself to relax a little bit. He took the time to breathe, smiling slightly against Lance’s lips at the familiar smell of Lance’s obnoxious fruit-scented body wash. His other hand trailed up Lance’s side, fingers ending up knotted in the short hair curling up at the back of Lance’s neck.

The kiss was slow and hesitant, long and deliberate languid movements that Keith was hoping would encourage Lance to participate more. He wanted Lance’s hands on his face, in his hair, on his chest, anywhere within reach was fair game when it came to Lance touching him. He had to be patient though, coax him into it.

Keith tried to be patient, he really did, but Lance had started letting out these pleased little hums and sighs that _had_ to be subconscious requests for more. Keith couldn’t resist anymore, he tasted too sweet and felt too warm against him.

He applied more pressure, the tip of his tongue darting past his lips to swipe across Lance’s bottom one. Lance made a strangled noise in the back of his throat, indecipherable.

Keith pulled back, knowing better than to test his luck and push the other. He could only put so much effort into this before Lance accused him of being genuinely into it, and he wasn’t ready for the shameful embarrassment that would flood him then.

“Better?” Keith asked as they made eye contact, doing his best to speak normally and hide how affected he already was by just a short kiss. When Lance didn’t reply, Keith soothed his own anxiety by busying himself with his favorite pastime; touching Lance. He had an _excuse_ to this time and damn if he wasn’t going to act on that.

His hand shifted up Lance’s jaw, palm cupping the side of his face. Keith caught himself smiling and tried to chase the expression away into something more neutral as he smoothed his thumb over the curve of Lance’s cheekbone. His skin was so smooth under Keith’s calloused hands, he absentmindedly caught himself wondering if _all_ of Lance was this soft and inviting.

The other boy looked deeply contemplative, biting on his bottom lip in concentration. Keith stared helplessly as he did so, hit with the sudden urge to kiss Lance again just so he could remember to nip at his pretty pink lips just like that.

“I don’t know.” Lance concluded finally, eyes darting back to Keith’s, then flickering downward to watch as Keith wetted his lips. Their eyes met again, Lance’s wide and uncertain, Keith’s no doubt dark with longing that even he wouldn’t be able to mask for something it wasn’t. “Um, do it again? Third time’s a charm?”

The spark of longing that Keith had been attempting to keep under control was suddenly bursting into flames. They were doing this. They were really doing this.  They were _finally_ doing this.

“Yeah, sure.” Keith chuckled, trying to seem casual about how badly he wanted to claim Lance’s mouth with his own again. He wanted to ravish those pouting lips and quick tongue, kiss Lance so thoroughly that there wouldn’t be a doubt left in the other man’s mind that he was interested in men. Even if this was a one-time thing, something temporary, then Keith could hold onto it forever knowing he’d been the one to help Lance through that realization with his touch alone.

Lance was poking at his face then, bringing him back to Earth. “Wh-”

“Can I?” Lance asked, motioning with his hands in a way that made very little sense. Keith blinked dazedly, feeling hot and groggy, unable to concentrate on much aside from the fact that he was no longer tasting Lance on his tongue. It took him a long, drawn-out moment to realize that Lance was asking to sit on his lap again.

Keith’s face lit up into a pleased smile and he settled back into the seat, patting his thighs.

“Yeah, please.” Keith realized immediately that he’d sounded a bit too open to the idea, carefully choosing to backtrack when he caught Lance’s awkward smile. “More comfortable that way.”

“Yeah.” Lance agreed, standing up only to drop back down on top of Keith, thighs settling on either side of Keith’s hips in a way that seemed to instantly up the temperature in the lion ten degrees.

The only relief from the unrelenting heat came with knowing that Lance seemed to be affected too, his actions becoming rushed and impatient.

Their lips met again, this time a little rougher than the last as their bashfulness gave way to shameless enjoyment. Keith forgot all about being casual and trying to tone his natural responses down, Lance seemed to forget who he was kissing entirely and got lost in the heat of it all.

With his nerves temporarily calmed, Lance finally relaxed a little bit and let his actual skill at kissing show through. Keith wasn’t the one leading things and waiting on Lance’s reactions any longer, now he was fighting to keep up.

Kissing Lance, _actually_ kissing him, reminded Keith of the days when he’d been pilot of the red lion. He found himself feeling just the slightest bit overwhelmed, but awed and inspired to do better because of it. He could already tell Lance was good at this, almost frustratingly so with how much Keith had wanted to believe that maybe Lance really was all talk and no game. In reality, he was painstakingly skilled with his mouth and it was almost immediately obvious that he was normally the one leading.

Lance backed off only to sit up straighter, arching his back in a stretch that had his widespread legs flexing on either side of Keith’s body. Lance lifted his hands to the back of the pilot seat above Keith’s head, giving Keith the very surreal experience of being pinned to the spot by Lance McClain’s lustful gaze. Keith leaned forward, uncaring how needy and blatantly eager he was for it, and brought their lips together into a bruising rough kiss.

His hands fell to Lance’s hips, fingers flexing against the denim of his jeans as Lance effortlessly licked into and dominated his mouth. He gasped when one of Lance’s hands dropped to his hair, fingers weaving through it and tugging hard. They were both so focused on the demanding pace they’d set for the kiss, that it took Keith an embarrassing amount of time to realize how much heat was pooling southward between his legs.

The moment he had the realization, he also caught on to the way Lance was subtly rolling his hips on top of him as they kissed, just barely-there shifts of his body weight back and forth. It felt like a lot more than it was though, with every nerve in Keith’s body feeling strung-out and hot like a live wire.

Taking advantage of the first opening Keith had found to show even a trace of defiance, he bit Lance’s bottom lip gently and rolled it between his teeth. Lance’s reaction was instant, body grinding down hard against Keith’s in a way that was much more obvious than before. Keith keened at the friction, finding himself incapable of keeping from bucking up into the touch.

“ _Lance_.” Keith broke away from the kiss with a wet string of saliva still connecting their lips. He dropped his head to Lance’s shoulder, panting heavily against the exposed plane of his chest. His hands crept up Lance’s hips, to where bare skin was visible beneath the crop of his jacket.

“Wow, is that your bayard in your pocket or are you trying to stab me with something else?” The line was terrible, Lance’s overly flirty and sexual drawl he spoke it in was somehow worse. Keith lifted his head to glare up at the other man, hesitating when their eyes locked and realization seemed to light up inside the blue irises. Lance froze, going painstakingly still and rigid against Keith’s body, before slowly peeling himself off.

He slid back so he was sitting on Keith’s knees instead of his lap, then dropped his hand to the front of Keith’s leggings as if that wasn’t taking a huge leap forward in the events of the night. It was off though, the look in Lance’s eyes was no longer sexy, now it was apprehensive even as Lance’s hand fit around the obvious outline of Keith’s cock. Keith shuddered.

The bayard thing had been a _joke_ , something meant to lighten the mood that Lance was obviously and suddenly uncomfortable with. The worst part was Keith couldn’t tell if Lance was unsettled by the fact Keith had gotten hard for him or the fact he had actually gotten to this point with another man. Was this Lance picking up on Keith’s crush or Lance suffering because of his sexuality crisis?

“You’re hard. You’re actually hard.” Lance said it aloud, as if he couldn’t believe it otherwise. Keith sat there like a deer caught in headlights, torn between shoving Lance as far off of his lap as he could, and thrusting up against the pressure on his arousal.

In the end, he didn’t have to make the decision. Lance did it for him, soaring backward off of the pilot’s seat entirely and crashing back against the control panel in his sheer frenzy. Lance laughed loud and high, the sound so forced it made Keith’s head hurt. “Ha, wow, that was _weird_ , huh? Anyway, I gotta go, so-”

“Lance.” Keith groaned, grabbing his jacket as Lance tore it off and threw it at him. He shoved it over his lap, hoping to restore some normal to the conversation once his dick was covered back up. “Don’t _make_ this weird, let’s talk about th-”

“I would love to, I really would, but I just remembered how many chores Allura gave me tonight and I don’t have a second to spare! Thanks for your time!” Lance practically shouted, turning on his heel only to divot back. He lifted his hand as if to wave, then scrunched his face up in obvious confusion and settled for a finger gun instead. “You, uh... enjoy your night.”

Then he was gone, just like that. And Keith was left achingly hard in the middle of the night, alone with only the memory of the hottest experience he’d ever had replaying in his mind.

He threw his head back, uncaring when it smacked hard against the seat behind him. His hands raked through his long hair borderline painfully, tugging at it each time his gloves would catch on a strand. He couldn’t believe his luck was _this_ bad.

“Are you fucking _kidding_ me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!! I know I said weekly updates, but consider this: Oct. 18th was my dog's birthday and I had to dedicate every second of that day to loving him. I hope u understand!! (ps: his name is Reese and he's a wiener dog and he turned eight years old!!!)
> 
> That's all for today folks! Leave comments on this chapter and I will find a personalized ascii emoticon to respond to your comment with that displays exactly how your comment made me feel. This is a FUN game ok guys it's NOT a trick to make u comment on my fic.
> 
> here are some links if you're feeling adventurous today (∩｡･ｏ･｡)っ.ﾟ☆｡’`
> 
> https://twitter.com/MelancholyMango  
> http://melancholymango.tumblr.com  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_AZDaW3GLQw


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is shorter because most of it is just Lance indulging in a little self-lovin, but im sure you aLL seen this coming

Lance had never been particularly skilled at handling the important moments on his own. The big shifts in perspective, the unexpected, the downright life-changing moments… he needed someone else to be there with him as he processed. For most of his life, his go-to had been his mother. She was such a well-rounded and positive person, her mere presence brought him the comfort and calm he needed to think things over.

For a long time, she was no longer an option, not in person and not via video call like he’d opted for while he was miles away from home at the Garrison, she was completely out of reach. Since building the new castle, they had access to technology that could call all the way to Earth, so under slightly different circumstances Lance would be calling her right now.

But… as it was, Lance had to settle for the _ second  _ most comforting person he’d ever met.

He ran down the hall as fast as his long legs could carry him, heart lodged somewhere in his throat and brain floated thoroughly out into space. He could still feel Keith’s lips against his, could taste his hot mouth, he could even hear those quiet little noises Keith had made to encourage him in the beginning. In particular, there was one memory that kept coming back to him no matter how he tried to forget it.

Lance had touched Keith’s  _ dick _ , proper  _ stroked _ it, while it was _ hard _ . Confused or not, there was no brushing it off as an accident, it’d happened whether Lance would ever admit to it or not.

“Hunk!” Lance demanded, pounding his hand against the scanner despite knowing Hunk had locked it so only his own would register, not wanting to be walked in on while he was sleeping. Lance rocked back and forth impatiently, glancing down at his feet. He froze then, eyes widening.

Slowly, disbelief bogging down his every movement, Lance reached down. He settled his hand between his legs, letting out an audible scandalized gasp to find that he was  _ also  _ hard. 

That was the exact moment Hunk finally got around to answering demanding knocks. The door swished open to reveal an exhausted yellow paladin, his sleep clothes on and hair brushed back in every which way by his headband. He looked slightly murderous, as much as Hunk could anyway, but he seemed to calm down slightly when he registered the pure anxiety on Lance’s features.

“What?” He yawned, scrubbing his hands over his eyes.

“I’m hard.” Lance blurted, hand still splayed over the crotch of his jeans to hide the state he was in. Hunk dropped his hands, squinting at Lance in disbelief. Then, slowly, his eyes trailed downward to where Lance’s hand was. A sense of begrudging acceptance engulfed Hunk and he simply gave an exasperated sigh, shrugging his shoulders.

“Cool.” Hunk grumbled, still standing in the doorway and making no effort to invite Lance inside. That was probably fair, all things considered, but Lance wasn’t leaving until he felt better. “Anything else you wanted to share or?”

“I’m hard because of  _ Keith _ .” Lance elaborated, shoving past Hunk into the room when a rush of uneasy adrenaline swept through him upon admitting that aloud. He threw his hands up, slapping them back down against his sides. “Keith!”

Hunk allowed the door to close and crossed the room, gripping Lance by the shoulders to stop him from pacing back and forth. 

“How drunk are you?” Hunk asked, straight to the point. 

He’d dealt with an intoxicated Lance many times during their Garrison days, much to Lance’s chagrin now. He knew the exact way to approach the situation depending on just how much or what alcohol Lance had gotten himself into. Things were a little different in space where everything had different effects on the human body, but Hunk still knew how to handle Lance better than anyone else.

“Completely sober! Not a single sip of alcohol is in my system right now.” Lance insisted, leaning in close and breathing all over Hunk’s face. He watched with pride, confident that he was telling the truth, as Hunk wrinkled his nose up in distaste.

“I can  _ smell  _ alcohol on your breath, Lance.” Hunk deadpanned, clearly not impressed. Lance’s face fell flat, mind tracing the night back to see if there was any instances were alcohol could have gotten into his system. He’d ordered a drink for himself once, but in his rush to get Leon away from Keith’s bluntness, he’d just left it there on the bar. Keith probably drank it anyway, so it wasn’t a total waste of money.

Oh. Right. Keith had his fair share of alcohol tonight, even if he handled it infinitely better than Lance ever had. That… might be where the smell had come from. Alien alcohol tended to be a lot stronger, made for bigger species as it was, and with that the smell could’ve easily transferred onto him. Hell, Keith wreaked of the stuff now that he thought back to when they’d been kissing

Lance blushed deeply under Hunk’s knowing gaze, accusing him of something entirely different from what Lance was guilty of, but accusing him all the same. He shrunk down onto the edge of the bed, laughing nervously. 

“Oh. I can explain that.” Lance mumbled, wringing his hands together in his lap. “I didn’t drink anything, but I _ did _ kiss someone who had. We did…  _ a lot _ of kissing.”

“Okay, and how did you get from there to here?” Hunk asked, sitting next to Lance. He placed a hand on Lance’s shoulder, no doubt waiting on another heart-wrenching rejection story from his friend. Lance did come to him often after nights when he’d struck out with someone he’d been particularly interested in, but that wasn’t exactly what had happened tonight.

He wasn’t sure how to break it to Hunk, but rather than thinking it over he found words tumbling past his lips impulsively. He couldn’t possibly keep it inside any longer, thoughts of Keith in such a compromising position still flashing behind his eyes.

“I kissed this stranger and it was _ terrible _ , but the more I thought about it the more it had to do with the fact I literally did not like the dude at all. So then I got to thinking that  _ maybe _ if I kissed someone I  _ knew _ it’d be easier, _ right _ ? I thought about waiting until I got back and laying a big one on _ you _ , buddy, but then Keith was just sitting right there in the pilot chair and-”

“You kissed Keith?” Hunk concluded before Lance had even said it. He didn’t really sound like he believed the natural conclusion he’d reached though, he was staring at Lance like he definitely needed some confirmation and a much better explanation.

“Right on the mouth!” Lance agreed hurriedly, nodding his head. He paused then, remembering the way they’d writhed together in that chair, how it wasn’t exactly truthful to brush it off as just a kiss. Lance started to smirk, feeling giggly all of the sudden. “In the mouth, too.”

“You kissed Keith _ with tongue _ ?” Hunk was doing that shocked thing he tended to do whenever he was given life-altering information, his jaw dropping and closing repeatedly as he failed to process. He hadn’t even said anything particularly comforting yet and already Lance was starting to relax just from being in his presence. Hunk would never judge him. “And he kissed you  _ back _ ?”

“Yeah.” Lance scoffed, as if that were even a question. Keith had been the more eager out of the two of them, if anything. He’d definitely been eager to go from kissing to heavy petting. Lance did tend to have that effect on people, though. “Then he had to make it all weird by popping a boner against my ass, what kind of-”

“Lance, ew.” Hunk deadpanned, falling back to sprawl out across his bed. He looked like he was questioning the entire universe as he stared up at the ceiling. Lance had definitely just blown his 2am mind right out into the next galaxy.

“Anyway, point is, that was weird as shit of him to do.” Lance finished, deciding to skim the details for Hunk’s sake. He ran his hand through his hair, vaguely remembering where Keith’s hands had been earlier. He frowned. “Except… in my rush to away from  _ that _ situation, I kinda failed to notice that I was in the _ same  _ situation.”

“Uh, okay, gross.” Hunk mumbled, though there was a hint of a smile audible in his tone and Lance found himself laughing at the sheer stupidity of the situation too. He fell back against the bed to lie next to Hunk, the both of them staring upward. “What do you want to hear from me right now? You want a standing ovation? I’m pretty sure your dick has the job covered.”

“Don’t you get it?” Lance snickered, rolling over to hit Hunk on the arm. He stared down at his best friend with a goofy smile. “I’m into dudes, this is the  _ proof _ . Crisis officially over.”

“Lance, do you even  _ hear  _ the way you talk about your favorite male celebrities?” Hunk shook his head, propping himself up to stare down at Lance. When Lance simply blushed and averted his eyes, Hunk decided to drop it at that. “Yes, you’re into dudes, great. Shocker. No one saw it coming at all. Now, go get yourself off and call it a night.”

_ Crisis officially back on! _

“Ha, no, that’d be fucked up.” Lance laughed loudly, borderline obnoxiously, trying desperately to mask just how much the idea had affected him. Any semblance of calm he’d gained since entering the room had vanished, replaced by nervous laughing and a blushing face. “I’m not  _ getting off _ to  _ Keith _ .”

“Think of something else then? I didn’t say anything about Keith.” Hunk pointed out, which somehow only made matters worse because it’d been  _ Lance’s _ mind to automatically go back to Keith. 

Out of all the men in the world that Lance had found attractive, suddenly he was drawing blanks. He was struggling to think of a woman even, all of their faces were shifting back into Keith’s. Dark indigo eyes staring up at him, filled with longing and desire… they were going to haunt his every dream for weeks.

Oh no, he’d broken his sexuality entirely. 

Hunk was staring at him weirdly now, clearly noticing the way Lance had started to revert back into himself. He reached over and grabbed Lance’s hand, giving it a squeeze. “Look, I love you across the universe and back a thousand times over, I care about everything you care about... _ except _ your penis. Your sex life is none of my business.”

“Right.” Lance agreed with a curt nod, having been told this a few times before. He sat up and got to his feet, feeling uncomfortable in his own skin. “I’ll go… to sleep.”

Lance started to shrink away to the door, watching as Hunk crawled under the covers and made himself comfortable. He knew it’d be considered rude to bother his friend any longer, especially with the late hour and how much Hunk had done for him already. He just couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d opened up a can of worms here, that maybe knowing he liked men wasn’t a good thing when the price he had to pay was looking at Keith in this new light.

Lance hesitated by the door for just a fraction of a second, but Hunk knew him well enough to read the uneasy pattern to his breaths.

“You’re okay, right? You’re not freaking out about the realization or anything?” Hunk called, yawning from where his head was resting comfortably on the pillow. Lance pulled his bottom lip back between his teeth, debating spilling his heart out and getting everything off his chest. That would be rude though, Hunk valued his sleep time like nothing else, he deserved his rest.

“Nah, I kinda expected things to play out this way. I’m not worried about it.” It wasn’t exactly a lie, it wasn’t really the sexuality realization that was bothering Lance now, it was the intrusive thoughts of his teammate that’d come along with it as a freebie. “I’ve got a big heart, so more people to love, right?”

“Right.” Hunk agreed warmly, holding his hand up and waving goodbye. “Night Lance, love you.”

“Love you too, big guy.” Lance sighed contently, glad that at least one of his relationships was going to stay completely normal. 

He wasn’t sure what to make of the Keith scenario, but maybe avoiding him for a few days would be all it took to shake it off. It wasn’t like Lance had never had brief crushes on his friends before, he survived being infatuated with Allura for _ months _ . He could handle this.

Lance made it back to his room and into his bed with no problems, managed to keep his mind blissfully blank as he took acute notice of his surroundings. He fixated on the tiles of the floor, the shadows draped across the hall with all the lights dimmed, the crack of light shining between the panels of Keith’s door as he passed… He’d quickly averted his attention when he noticed that.

Point was, Lance hadn’t really thought about the situation or the night’s events at all on his way back to his room. But the moment he was there, lights off and lying in his bed, his mind seemed to develop ulterior motives. With nothing to distract himself from the natural course of his thoughts, he found his hand drifting up to his face, fingertips brushing over his lips in a mockery imitation of what Keith’s touch had felt like.

Maybe he was just sexually frustrated in general, it’d been a while since he’d fallen into bed with another person, that kiss was the furthest he’d gone in weeks. So maybe it was less of a longing for Keith, more of a longing for a partner in general. The partner didn’t have to look like Keith, that was just… the most recent memory he had. Nevermind that he’d always been an imaginative person before, sometimes he just needed a muse and Keith had involuntarily stolen the position tonight.

Lance propped himself up on one elbow, inhaling deeply as he surveyed the situation. He was hard again, despite his arousal waning during the conversation with Hunk and his walk back here. All it’d taken was a minute of thinking about it and he was right back where he’d started. 

He’d kicked off his jeans before sliding into bed, leaving him clad in only boxers now, the lewd outline impossible to miss even in the dark. If he squinted, he could almost make out a small wet spot where the tip of his cock was leaking pre-cum against the fabric. He was embarrassingly worked up tonight, more than what was usual for him.

Lance huffed, collapsing back against the pillows in resignation. 

He’d make it quick. Just a rushed and shameful jerk session, nothing he hadn’t done a thousand times over as an awkwardly horny teen. He’d fuck his fist for a minute or two and that’d be the end of it.

The moment he made the active decision to give in, Lance didn’t hesitate to start. His hand darted to the bedside table, grabbing the space lube he kept there and squirting it into his palm. Long gangly legs kicked his boxers down to the foot of his bed, leaving him lying there completely naked with his cockhead drooling on his stomach.

He took himself in hand with little preamble, gasping slightly at the cool temperature of the lube. He wasn’t going to dwell on this though, he refused to make it a _ thing _ . He wasn’t going to take his time and fantasize about it like this was some kinda crush (ew), it was purely sexual. Primal, even. Lance’s mind and heart weren’t in it, only his dick.

He thought of a faceless human woman, big tits and thick thighs, bouncing on top of him and riding him like it was her  _ job _ .

Deciding to skip any foreplay or build-up whatsoever, Lance rubbed his thumb around the leaking head of his cock in a way that had him trembling in overstimulation. He dropped his head back against the pillow, chest rising and falling rapidly as he worked his hand over himself. A broken moan, a much softer keen, and then he was whipping his head to the side and biting down on his pillow. Keith’s room was next to his, he’d rather  _ die  _ than be heard getting off.

The slick slide of skin against skin was exactly what Lance had needed. Already the relief was tangible, his shoulders shaking with how overwhelming his own touch was in his current state. Lance found himself barreling toward an oncoming orgasm, much to his embarrassment. He  _ could _ rush things along when he didn’t have a partner to please, no one was gonna judge him for coming in a minute flat right now, no shame in the self-love game.

His feet slid against the sheets before eventually he found himself digging his toes into the mattress, using it as leverage to buck his hips upward. He was close. So close. Any second now and-

The sound of a door sliding open had Lance jumping upright and clutching the sheets to his crotch, utterly scandalized. It took him a second to realize that his door was actually closed and then he was groaning under his breath in annoyance, realizing it’d been Keith’s door next-door to his room. That loser was always wandering the halls at night, insomnia or something. 

Lance bit his lip and stared toward his door until he was certain that the hallway outside was empty once-again. Hand still splayed over his hardness like that would’ve actually hidden anything at all had someone actually walked in, he slowly started to roll his palm down against the obvious bulge straining against the sheet. He hissed at the contact, sensitive after coming so close to orgasm seconds before.

Stupid Keith, had to rile him up unfairly like this and then ruin it for him a second time around.

Lance stared toward the wall they shared between their rooms, wondering how  _ Keith  _ would feel if Lance interrupted him during a time like this. He’d probably stomp over here right now, hard dick in hand, just to yell at Lance for being annoying. Ha, that’d be a sight to see. Stupid Keith.

Lance knew what was happening, self-aware by this point when it came to the way his sexually frustrated mind worked. He knew what he was opening himself up to thinking about one person in particular while he was this turned on. Once he’d accidentally came thinking of Slav because mid-masturbation the alien’s voice had come over the comms to call them to the debriefing room.

He was too far gone at this point to try and correct himself though. So instead of boobies and fake girly pornstar-esque moans, Lance drifted back to the feeling of Keith’s abs beneath his shirt and the very real pleased low noises he’d made while Lance kissed him.

He couldn’t get off to his friends. That was definitely crossing a line. Breaking a law in the bro code. In all of the time he’d crushed on Allura, he’d never thought of her in such a sexual and explicit way, it felt wrong of him. Then again, he’d never done anything close to what he’d just done with Keith when he was crushing on Allura.

Whatever. He’d just… get off to a fantasy person who looked and sounded suspiciously like the real-life version of Keith. The person with dark hair and lustful eyes that Lance suddenly imagined between his thighs was identical to the person he sparred against every single day, but it was _ okay  _ because he was changing the  _ personality _ . They weren’t the same person.

Fantasy Keith was submissive and sweet, eager to please and a total slut for it. Real life Keith wouldn’t be like that, he’d be bossy and demanding, probably act like he was too good to fuck Lance even with a cock stuffed down his throat. And… fuck. Lance was thinking about Keith again, _ actual Keith _ .

Besides, as his mind was unhelpfully supplying him with via memory, real-life Keith  _ could _ be submissive and sweet. After all, during their kiss Keith _ had  _ just leaned back and let Lance lead, had simply held on tight and made pretty little noises of encouragement. He’d been so into it too, needy and down for anything, had visibly pouted when Lance pulled away. Lance had heard Keith with his hookups too, knew that the other boy was anything but quiet when he was getting it good. So maybe it wasn’t even that far of a stretch to think of Keith as eager to please…  _ a total slut for it _ .

Lance rolled over and buried his face into the pillow, groaning loudly.

“Oh God, what am I doing?” He whispered frantically to himself, even as his hips started to roll down against the mattress involuntarily, his body chasing release whether he was on board or not. He stuffed his fingers into his mouth to keep from making any noises and squeezed his eyes shut, beginning to slur as his other hand moved down his body to help himself along. “Don’t think of Keith, don’t think of Keith,  _ don’t _ -”

But oh, how appealing it was to just say to hell with it and do whatever it took to chase his release right about now. He was a good boy, could keep his fantasies and real life separate, he wouldn’t let it come between his personal  _ or  _ work relationships. Just one night to indulge in the idea, mess around with it a little bit. He’d let it go tomorrow, forget it’d ever happened. _ Honest _ .

So he propped himself up with one elbow, keeping his hand working steadily over his length even as he continued to thrust downward in short, staccato movements. He imagined a body beneath his, heat engulfing his cock and muscles twitching invitingly around him. It wasn’t just  _ any _ body taking his cock though, it was the smooth skin of _ Keith’s  _ body, so pale it was practically inviting someone to cover it in dark marks and claim it as their own.

Lance gave a satisfied hum, imagining Keith arching his hips up so Lance could plow him from behind, grip that stupid-sexy mullet between his tan fingers and pull it each time Keith would take the whole of him inside again. He didn’t even have to  _ imagine  _ the noises Keith would make, had heard his share from the nights Keith brought people home despite the fact they were clearly trying to keep it quiet. He’d  _ seen _ the way Keith limped the morning after from time to time, after the nights when he’d been loud the whole way through.

He wondered if Keith would make noises like that for him, if he’d be louder still. Lance wanted to make him scream, wanted to wipe Keith’s mind so completely clean with pleasure that the thought of stifling his noises didn’t even occur to him. He could do it, would give it to him so good, anywhere and anyway Keith asked him to.

Now  _ that  _ was an appealing thought. Keith on his stomach, ass lifted high into the air for Lance to do with what he pleased. Keith on his back, muscular thighs wrapped around Lance’s hips and pulling him in deeper. Keith on his knees with his lips stretched thin around Lance’s cock, gagging on it. Keith bouncing on his cock, rough and unforgiving just like the way he flew.

Lance would fuck Keith in their lions until  _ he _ was purring like a cat. Lance would edge Keith and make him beg for release in the storage closets of the castle where anyone could walk in. He’d give it to Keith hard and rough against a wall after a particularly risky mission. And _ oh _ , late at night he’d take Keith pressed against the Castle controls overlooking the entire galaxy.

It was  _ hot _ , in that moment it felt hotter than anything he’d ever imagined or experienced. Why did he ever try to stop himself from thinking about this? It was a good idea. Great idea, even. 

Lance whimpered, jaw hanging slack so he could pant heavily past his bitten-red lips. He felt like he was on fire, burning up as he ran his hand over himself so fast and rough it was borderline painful. He could feel it as the heat between his legs grew unbearable, stomach and thighs twitching and shaking, dick pulsing against his palm. 

When his climax hit him, it was accompanied by a full-body tremble. It was one of the most intense releases he’d ever given himself. Cum shot across his palm and the bedsheets beneath him in heavy streaks, solidifying the fact that Lance had just roped himself into doing laundry again. That was the least of his concerns currently, as he bit and sucked on his lips to try and keep any noises from escaping as he trembled through his high.

He felt dizzy and light-headed immediately afterward, giddy with the sheer force of his release. He rolled away from the damp puddle he’d just made, collapsing onto the clean sheets with a groan as aftershocks continued to wrack his body. Oh god, that was good. Too good.

Lance caught himself giggling near-silently, feeling hazy and satisfied. He’d needed that. 

Eventually, after a minute of lying there in a world of complete bliss, reality came back to Lance in the cruelest way. In his half-asleep state, his hand fell from his stomach into his own cum. He wrinkled his nose in obvious distaste, deciding that he’d better clean up before allowing sleep to take him. He grabbed the tissues off the bedside table and tore the sheets from his bed, muscles feeling heavy and tired all the while. 

After finishing up, he debated climbing into bed with his clean sheets and underwear back on his body, but decided against it. He was tired as all hell, but thirsty too. A quick trip to the kitchens wouldn’t leave him too overtired tomorrow, but hell if he woke up with a dry, dusty throat.

He shoved his robe on and crept out of his room, turning to self-consciously stare toward Keith’s door. It was with great relief that he noted the light from before was turned off. He must have been asleep now, or had been for a while hopefully. 

Lance stumbled tiredly toward the kitchens, rubbing his eyes and yawning occasionally. His slippers scuffed against the floor, one a bright striking red and the other a calming familiar blue. He was getting used to the lion switch, it’d been a good year and a half since Shiro’s original disappearance, but he still missed Blue more than anything.  Besides, Keith had given his slippers up so willingly the moment Lance had inquired about them, it was clear they weren’t being appreciated there for their comfiness.

Lance walked into the kitchens with his eyes set on the prize, the fridge shining like a beacon of light at the end of a particularly dark tunnel. He wrenched it open and grabbed a juice box, stabbing the straw in without hesitation. He turned to leave then, figuring he’d finish it by the time he passed the bathrooms on his trip back and could brush his teeth again then. The undeniable shift of movement in the kitchen had him reeling.

He wanted it to be a mouse, begged for it even. Then he thought that maybe Slav wouldn’t be so bad right about now. God, he found himself wishing he was staring at an intruder holding a deadly weapon,  _ anything _ but the familiar eyes staring curiously back at him.

Keith was leaning against the counter on the other side of the room, a large cup of water in his hands, hair tied back in the way he only wore it when going to sleep. Lance blinked. Keith mirrored him. 

Memories flooded Lance’s mind like a tsunami, filthy things he’d thought in the heat of the moment that now played out before his eyes again, but mockingly. Guilt ate away at him as he recalled the things he’d allowed himself to think about  _ Keith _ of all people, the way he’d violated his friend’s trust and done it despite knowing how wrong it was. It was just too good, too tempting, and Lance had always been bad at saying no to tempting things.

Keith was looking at him curiously, blissfully oblivious, likely hoping to make amends after the strange parting of ways they’d had earlier. He probably thought Lance’s current clammy and weird state was because of that. He had no idea and that made it  _ so  _ much worse. 

Taking the initiative once he realized Lance wasn’t going to, Keith lifted a pinky finger from his glass and waved it at Lance. He looked sleepy and soft, vulnerable as he reached out to try and fix things between them after the earlier kiss disaster. He was trying so hard and Lance _ knew _ it, knew that Keith cared deeply for him to go out of his comfort zone like this.

It hit him like a bag of bricks. Keith could do all of this for Lance, but Lance couldn’t even hold himself back from using his friend as sexy spank-bank material. He was utter scum. He was utter scum and after today their relationship dynamic would be changed for good and it was all Lance’s fault.

“Hi.” Keith whispered, offering up a nervous smile. Lance felt it in his stomach and his hand curled tighter around the juicebox, sending liquid splashing all over the tiles at his feet. 

“Oh god, I’m gonna be sick.” Lance blurted, feeling nausea rising up into his chest. Keith’s eyes widened comically.

Lance tossed his juicebox onto the counter and turned, running past Keith out of the room. He didn’t stop running until he’d made it back to his room and hid his entire body under the covers in shame. He didn’t even have it in him to crawl out of the room and brush his teeth again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey dudes, welcome to the other side! i nearly forget to post this because i've been writing werewolf smut fics, but thanks to the one brave anon who came to my tumblr, you guys don't have to wait any longer!!
> 
> i am gay!!! dangerously, immensely, and viciously gay!!!!!!!! if u feel the same, please comment below!!!!
> 
> https://twitter.com/MelancholyMango  
> http://melancholymango.tumblr.com   
> http://miscreantmango.tumblr.com (nsfw)  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47Tb1w4r3oQ
> 
> (ps: i've taken the liberty of linking my nsfw tumblr blog on this chapter, just felt fitting??? pps: its mostly a nsfw klance blog rn, don't be fooled im not attracted to real people, only animated characters hahahHA)


	4. Chapter 4

Now, Keith had never been a particularly indulgent person. He was stingy with his money, he was stingy with his time, he was stingy when it came to matters of the heart. He was the type of person to focus on one big goal and say to hell with any other fleeting desires he ran into. There were very few exceptions to this rule.

The big one was chocolate. Who wasn’t indulgent when it came to chocolate? It was a little-known fact that Keith had a sweet tooth to rival Willy Wonka himself. There had been multiple times throughout his childhood when he’d been caught stealing chocolate bars from convenience stores. His foster parents never took well to that, it usually resulted in him being bounced off to another home. So he learnt how not to get caught… and continued to take the chocolate. Whatever, he was a paladin of Voltron now, defender of the universe, guardian of the galaxy; a few petty thefts meant nothing now.

Keith was also indulgent when it came to Lance. The hours he’d spent staring at the other boy were constantly adding up, the number embarrassingly high by this point. The times he’d gone out of his way to be closer to Lance, to get to know more about Lance, at any cost to himself or his pride… the list was long. He had it bad, okay? There were many things he had the self-preservation to not chase desperately after when he wanted them, but Lance wasn’t one of those things.

The last one was sex. Keith didn’t have much of a sex drive on his own, but when he found himself falling into bed with another person, be it for stress relief or a distraction… there was no playing coy. He wanted it when he wanted it, how he wanted it, where he wanted it. It wasn’t an emotional thing to him, never had been with any of his partners. It was purely physical. So when the desire was there, the tension built up in him begging to be let out, a willing partner eager to please him, why would he limit himself?

It was that mentality that had gotten Keith to this point. 

After Lance left him high and dry, uncomfortably hard in his too-tight pants, Keith’s mind was instantly set onto one track and one track only. He had no intention of veering off course when he knew exactly what he wanted. Scratch that,  _ needed _ .

He went straight back to his room, fell into bed with a bottle of lube, and took care of it. The shock factor had long ago wore off, after years of being enamoured with the same person that tended to happen. He thought about Lance, just like he always did. He wasn’t guilty about it, knew for a fact that it wouldn’t impact their relationship after doing it so many times before. 

Every bit of pleasure he got, however, was laced with the sadness of longing for it to be a reality. Now more than ever after the encounter they’d had earlier. 

Keith knew what it was like to actually  _ kiss _ Lance, knew the way he tasted and the sounds he made. He knew what it was like to have him pressed close, breathing hot and ragged, grinding down against his lap like he belonged there. And as far as Keith was concerned, he did. Lance just didn’t feel the same.

He tried not to dwell on it, tried to lose himself in a fantasy and ignore reality completely, but it was never easy to begin with and this had only made it so much worse. He was allowing himself to get his hopes up, to believe for the first time in months that they were making tangible progress and he had a chance. That optimism never ended well.

He wasn’t exactly in the best state to think things over logically right now though, so he gave in to what his body wanted and played the fool. He thought about what would have happened if Lance hadn’t run off, if he’d kept his hand right where it was between Keith’s legs and dared to push the boundaries a little more. Keith would have let him, he was sure of that much. 

Lance would’ve started out slow and tentative, uncertain what it meant for their relationship to get Keith off right there in the pilot’s seat of his lion. Then he would have seen how utterly desperate Keith was for it, shaking in his seat and biting his lips to keep from making a sound, and that stupid smug streak of his would have come into play. That confidence that Keith both loved and hated at the same time would turn him into putty in Lance’s hands.

Lance sitting pretty back on Keith’s knees, working both hands over Keith’s cock, a smirk on his lips and curiosity sparking in his eyes. The beginning would be clumsy, but it’d only get better from there, and Keith would enjoy it all. He’d make a mess of them both when he finally came, which might unsettle Lance for all of a second given his clean-freak nature, but Keith would be quick to offer a solution.

It’d be better than his own climax, the chance to finally push Lance back into that chair and get his hands on him. Keith had been dying to lavish him in attention for so long, he wouldn’t take the opportunity for granted now. He would undress Lance completely, complimenting him over and over again all the while, and then he’d set to work kissing all the way up his body and then back down between his legs.

Lance was infuriatingly quiet on the rare occasion he brought a girl back to the castle, Keith had never really heard what he sounded like during sex. Tonight while they were kissing, though, Keith had heard his fair share of quiet and strained noises that Lance just barely let slip. Putting two and two together, he knew Lance would whimper and moan under his breath, just barely loud enough to hear but definitely hot enough to feel.

This wasn’t the first time Keith had fantasized about sucking Lance’s cock, and it probably wouldn’t be the last, but this was the most real context he’d ever been able to give himself. If things had just played out a _ little _ differently, he could be settled between Lance’s legs right now, kneeling in the cockpit of his own lion. Lance would be grabby and desperate, and Keith would probably get hard again from the feeling of having his hair pulled alone. And when Lance came, Keith would swallow him deep and lap up every last drop, eager to make Lance feel as good as possible.

At the thought of Lance spilling in his mouth, Keith found his fantasy quickly dissolving. He was too close to concentrate, his left hand working over his cock while his right disappeared between his legs to slip two fingers into his hole. It was hardly as coordinated as having a partner, or even using a toy, but he’d been too desperate to bother with anything special tonight. He just wanted to get off after Lance had left him alone with his problem.

And get off he did, biting down on a mouthful of pillow in a desperate bid to keep quiet as he came. He was pretty sure Lance hadn’t come back to his room yet, he would have heard him if he had, but it didn’t hurt to be cautious. 

Keith’s hips bucked up wildly as he came, spilling across his stomach and hand in streaks of white. 

He basked in the afterglow for all of ten seconds before he heard someone walking in the hallway outside his door. He propped himself up on his elbows, staring toward the door as a shadow passed by and hesitated outside for just a second. Then they were gone, the sound of Lance’s door sliding open following seconds later. 

As much as Keith wanted to see him again and try to work things out, that was probably for the best considering the state he was in. He glanced down at his bare chest and the mess he’d made of himself, deciding he might as well take his second shower of the day. Lance would absolutely abhor it, he’d once cried when Keith admitted he shampooed his hair every day, but whatever. Keith wasn’t about to fall asleep when he was this  _ sticky _ .

Of course, Keith quickly came to regret that decision when after his shower he ran into Lance in the kitchen. He’d just been standing there minding his own business, comfortable in the darkness of the room with his heightened Galra night vision, and then Lance had stumbled in. He looked visibly flustered and disheveled. For a painful moment, Keith worried that Lance had been crying because of their earlier exchange, and regret filled Keith to the brim.

Lance crossed the room blindly, still unaware of Keith’s presence. As he grew closer, Keith found himself studying Lance much closer than he’d normally allow himself to, partially because the cloak of darkness gave him rare confidence, but also because something just seemed off about the other boy. He wanted to make sure Lance was okay, more than anything. But the state he was in hardly looked to be upset, less and less so the longer Keith watched him.

The deep flush to Lance’s cheeks, the tousled look of his hair sticking up in every direction, the visible sheen of sweat on his shirtless torso. It was all dismissable, it didn’t  _ necessarily _ mean what Keith’s filthy mind was trying to insist it did. But then Lance walked carelessly past him, on a set path toward the fridge, and Keith caught an unintentional whiff of his scent.

The heightened senses that’d awakened in him after that fight with clone Shiro had given Keith a lot of advantages in all areas of life, but never once had he thought he might be standing in the kitchen in the middle of the night and  _ smelling _ Lance’s arousal drifting off of him in waves. Keith tensed, eyes widening in the darkness, his own face flushing with heat and embarrassment. 

It didn’t really answer all of his questions, just gifted him a series of new ones. Was Lance hard right now or had he already taken care of it? Had Keith been the one to work him up like this? Was this… a regular occurrence and Keith had just never been able to notice it before now?

Lance turned away from the fridge and Keith did his best to keep drinking his water without choking, sipping quietly and hoping he’d go unnoticed. He suddenly didn’t want to confront Lance at all, would much rather leave the resolving of their problems for another time. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to hold onto any composure at all right now.

Of course, he wasn’t that lucky. Lance was no idiot, when his eyes swept over Keith’s form in the darkness he instantly went tense. Keith stared back at him, wondering if he’d deciphered who the shadow belonged to yet. Lance’s eyes started out wide and shocked, then narrowed into something determined and challenging, and then… went back to wide and shocked. Keith could tell the exact moment that Lance recognized who he was staring at.

They simply stood there for a long moment, gazes locked and expressions unreadable. At least, Keith was trying his damnedest to keep his expression unreadable to match Lance’s blank and faraway one. He wasn’t even sure that Lance could see his face in the darkness, but he couldn’t give away how deeply frazzled he felt. He couldn’t keep his eyes from wandering now, drinking in Lance’s bare chest and the sweatpants hanging low on his hip bones.

There was no visible bulge, so maybe he’d… already gotten off?

Keith choked audibly on his water, plastering himself back harder against the counter. He was going to kill himself thinking too hard about this, it would be the death of him. He took a long swig of his drink, thankful that Lance still looked pretty spaced out. He eyed Lance curiously, wondering if  _ Lance  _ knew that  _ he _ knew. There was no way, right? 

Keith decided there was only one way to find out. 

He lifted his pinky finger up, waggling it around haphazardly where he held his glass, a tiny wave. Lance stared back at him, eyes widening impossibly further. God, he looked positively mortified.

Keith thought distantly back to the very first time he’d gotten off to thoughts of Lance, when he was still in denial about his feelings and an inexperienced virgin. He hadn’t been too awkward afterward, but that was only because he’d channeled all of those mixed emotions into anger. The weeks where Keith battled with his attraction to Lance had been so ruthless between them that Shiro and Allura had stepped in more than once to break their fights apart.

But hey, Lance had never suspected anything, he just assumed Keith was being an asshole for no reason the whole time. Which, well, wasn’t all that good for their non-existent romantic relationship, but it did keep Keith’s new feelings thoroughly undiscovered at the time. Now he was paying for it tenfold, that aggression in the beginning had only made it harder for Lance to view him as something other than a rival once Keith had realized that was what he wanted.

Still… if Keith was literally anyone else who had a healthy relationship with their emotions and the idea of romantic attraction... then maybe he would have reacted a little like Lance was right now. Guilty, like he’d been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Flustered and awkward, filled with uncertainty toward his feelings. Nervous and wary, scared that he’d be called out at any second.

Maybe…

Keith bit down on the inside of his cheek, silently scolding himself. He knew better than to get his hopes up like that, and he had no proof anyway. He was just assuming, going off on a whim. And if he kept thinking like that and picking apart their every interaction, he’d only succeed in making things even more awkward between them.

Hell, Lance was probably still being weird after feeling Keith get hard against his thigh.

Keith cringed inwardly, deciding his best bet was simply to try and bridge the gap between them. It didn’t really matter what was going on inside Lance’s head anyway, no matter what it was he would have to come to terms with it on his own first. Keith couldn’t force anything to happen even if he knew what was going on.

“Hi.” Keith offered quietly, smiling kindly at Lance and praying that’d be enough to fix things. Who knows, maybe they’d get over this and then stay up for a few hours talking about where Lance’s thoughts were actually at. That’d be nice.

Keith’s high hopes crumbled as Lance’s fist tensed, clenching around his juicebox and sending liquid flying across the kitchen tiles. Lance stuttered uselessly, backing toward the doorway.

“Oh god, I’m gonna be sick.” Lance choked out, tossing his juicebox onto the counter and then turning tail and running away. 

Keith was left, once again, all alone in a sea of confusion and vague arousal. This was starting to become a pattern, one that he hoped desperately wouldn’t keep repeating itself. He was only one hopelessly and stupidly smitten man, he could only handle so much.

A part of Keith almost hoped that he’d wake up the next morning only to find all of that had only been a crazy fever dream of sorts. As much as he’d enjoyed kissing Lance, he wasn’t sure that the circumstances that followed were worth it. He was ready for a do-over, in all honesty. 

\--

Alas, the next day brought with it the same challenges from before, as well as the breakfast from hell. He sat down at the table with his fellow paladins and began eating like he always did, albeit with a painful acknowledgement that the table was much quieter than usual. Lance usually kept the group lively enough that there was never a lull in conversation during meals, but today everyone stayed silent for the most part.

Keith risked a glance toward Lance after every few bites of food he took, but where he’d normally find Lance staring back at him and ready to start a conversation, he was only greeted with Lance’s long eyelashes where his eyes were downcast. Keith couldn’t even read his expression.

Krolia picked up on the shrouded cloud of anxiety surrounding Keith and started up a conversation about Shiro, the one topic she’d found that Keith was always willing to talk about. It was almost funny, watching all the bizarre and desperate ways she’d bring up Shiro to try and bond with him. He went along with it, mostly because he was just as eager to try and bond with her, but she didn’t have to know that.

Beneath the table, Kosmo sat between them. He went back and forth between whose lap he decided to rest his chin on, but he begged all the while. Whenever Keith would glance down at him, the loud thud of his tail hitting the ground would follow. It should have been a happy morning, but Keith couldn’t shake the worry he felt for Lance.

Krolia rambled on conversationally and Keith grinned widely up at her, enjoying the attention. However, he couldn’t really help the way his attention would occasionally drift away.

He turned again, almost to the point that he was going to try and start a conversation himself. Luckily, he found that Hunk had beat him to the punch and was turned toward Lance. He drew a short breath, ready to speak up, and then only a quiet whisper came out. Keith caught it, but only because he’d been paying such close attention and could read his lips.

“Have you talked to him since?” Hunk whispered, digging his elbow into Lance’s side. Lance huffed in annoyance, crossing his arms over his chest and sinking down in his seat. Keith quickly averted his eyes, not wanting to be caught eavesdropping. Instead his gaze landed on Pidge, who was giving him a knowing stare like they knew exactly what was going on. 

Keith looked back to Krolia then, smiling and trying to pay attention to the rant she was off on. It was something he would have been genuinely interested in any other time, a story about Galra traditions that’d been lost after the war and had stayed within the species. Coran and Allura seemed quite interested as well.

Still, Keith found himself tuning her out even as his eyes stayed focused on her moving lips. He focused on Lance’s distant whisper instead, finding it easy to eavesdrop with his Galra hearing.

“I’m  _ never  _ talking to him again.” Lance replied in an angry hiss, sounding very sure of that fact. Keith paled, his appetite suddenly faltering. He dropped his fork back down to his plate, instead chewing on his lip and trying to ward off his growing anxiety. Lance couldn’t mean that, surely? After how much progress they’d made?

“Lance.” Hunk chastised, his tone strict for once. “Allura will have your head if you let this impact the forming of Voltron.”

“It won’t.” Lance insisted, though the stubborness in his tone made it clear he was just saying whatever he wanted to believe. Keith reached down, distractedly patting Kosmo on the head to try and calm himself down. “As long as Keith keeps his head about him and moves on from this-”

“Lance.” Hunk interrupted, quiet and disappointed. Lance actually let himself be interrupted, not even fighting to try and get his point out anyway. Hunk continued, sounding sympathetic. “Keith literally could not care less, look at him. I know this is all super weird for you, but he doesn’t seem bothered. He’s been with boys before, maybe he just has the confidence that kissing a bro isn’t weird-”

“It was more than kissing.” Lance interjected, sounding petulant. Keith couldn’t even fight the smile that graced his face at that, amused by Lance’s dramatics even at a time like this. He pretended to be grinning fondly down at Kosmo, his attention never drifting from their conversation.

“Either way, he’s sitting there talking to his mom and sneaking food to his dog. He probably doesn’t even realize how much this is getting to you.” Hunk explained kindly, clearly trying to help Lance through this the best he could. As grateful as Keith was that Lance had someone to turn to right now, he was also the slightest bit irked that Hunk would assume that about him.

They all thought he was so aloof and uncaring, and maybe that was his own fault, but it just wasn’t the truth. He was always aware of what was going on with his teammates, even if most of the time he had no idea how to help, he always  _ wanted _ to.

“He’s good at hiding his emotions, that’s all.”

“Yeah, well, at first glance you definitely seem to be the one struggling with this more.” Hunk concluded, leaving no room for argument. When Lance didn’t try to disagree, Hunk tentatively pushed his luck a little bit further. “I’m sure if you’d bring it up he would explain to you that it’s not a big deal and take some of the stress off your-”

“No.” Lance deadpanned, short and irritated, snappy. Keith couldn’t help it, his eyes flickered in Lance’s direction, needing confirmation that what he was hearing was true. Lance did look serious, his lips drawn into a tight unimpressed line and his eyes dark and detached now that Keith could see them. He was staring evenly at Hunk, cold and icy. “I’m not talking to him about this, Hunk.”

“Ugh, fine, dig your own grave. See if I care.” Hunk grumbled, turning back to his empty plate of food and preparing to go get seconds. Lance watched him go, as did Keith until he abruptly realized again that he was being too obvious. This time, the reminder came in much simpler terms, when Lance turned to go back to eating and instead their eyes met from across the table. 

They froze like that, searching each other’s faces desperately for answers even as they determinedly hid all of their own emotions. It brought them to a standstill, the uncertainty boiling over in the end. Lance pushed his chair back, loudly getting to his feet and turning to leave. He was already out of his chair when he thought to announce his departure.

“May I be excused?” Lance asked no one in particular, more out of habit than anything else. Shiro used to be the leader figure in all areas of their life, but now that he was back on Earth none of them served a leader at home. Keith led the battles, Allura led the diplomatics, but no one was there to make the final call when it came to personal matters.

“Training’s in thirty doboshes, don’t be late.” Allura reminded him as he went, her voice soft. Lance just nodded, leaving the room without a glance back. Keith stared sadly after him until he disappeared from view, the door shutting behind him just a little bit too hard to be normal. 

Keith cursed himself for not being better at this sort of thing. He really should have thought this through better, should have thought about what he was getting himself into before allowing himself to dive into the deep end of it. If Shiro were here, Keith would be marching off to his room by now, demanding advice on what the hell he was meant to do to fix this.

As it was, he was alone. Mostly.

Keith looked up when he felt a hand settle shoulder, gentle enough to brush off, but firm enough to be comforting. Krolia sat next to him, a thin smile on her face. He weakly mirrored the expression, unsure how much she understood what was going on. Hell, he hadn’t even noticed that she picked up on the fact he wasn’t really paying attention to her.

“It’ll be okay, Keith. You’ll work it out.” She told him, sounding certain of this. Keith shrugged his shoulders, reaching up to brush his hair back behind his ear, fidgeting nervously. He peered back at her, trying to decipher how much she knew. She only offered a knowing look in response. “You two care a lot for each other, a petty argument won’t be enough to tear you apart.”

“How did you-”

“Mother’s intuition.” Krolia answered, giving a curt nod. She looked back to her food, but hesitated and dragged her fork distractedly around her plate. She glanced back at him, winking when she caught his stare. “Also, you didn’t react when Kosmo ate half your breakfast. I knew you couldn’t have been paying attention and there was only one other conversation happening at the table.”

“Wait, he did _ what _ ?!” Keith spluttered, looking to his plate. Sure enough, at some point the wolf had managed to steal a good portion of the food off of it. How he hadn’t noticed something that obnoxiously big stealing off the table was hard to imagine. He felt embarrassed almost, knowing he’d been that invested in listening to Lance’s conversation.

He lifted up the tablecloth, glaring down to where Kosmo was chowing down on the food he’d stolen. He was slobbering all over the bone. Keith grumbled in annoyance, attempting and failing to steal it back before the idiot wolf managed to choke himself. “Kosmo! You little devil!”

Keith was always eager for their daily training sessions, especially lately where they’d had less missions than usual to keep them busy. Now that Lotor was out of the picture, and Zarkon too, things were almost eerily quiet. Of course there were still standalone Galra groups they had to hunt down, but there was no evil master plan waiting to unfold at every corner. It was almost… boring. Everything had been so crazy for a while there and now it’d tapered off to nothing.

Today more than ever, Keith needed something to take his mind off of his own thoughts. Training was going to do just that, even if he had to deal with having Lance in the same room again. He hoped that Lance could take his own advice and just move on from this, rather than placing all of the blame on Keith and relying on him to fix this. Keith had never been much of a fixer, he seemed to excel at the destroying part and then flounder around until he undid whatever mess he’d made impulsively.

He walked into the training room with a resolve to work hard as usual and not let this impact their work in the slightest. It wouldn’t be leaderlike to let his personal affairs get in the way of the team, even if said personal affairs involved a teammate. He would lead the training session just like usual and put all of his bullshit on hold for an hour.

And Keith managed it with only a bit of struggle, practically an expert compartmentalizing his emotions at this point. Sure, the fact it was about Lance made it more difficult than usual, but at least he had a physically straining training drill to keep him occupied. No, he wasn’t the problem, he was doing pretty good at faking that he had everything under control. The problem was Lance.

It was meant to be a training tactic that involved every member of the team and gave everyone a chance to shine, it just wouldn’t work if one party failed to do their part. As they failed the drill over and over again, each time growing increasingly more frustrated with Lance’s distracted and fumbling state, Keith’s own resolve gave way to match Lance’s emotional state.

“Lance! Concentrate!” Keith snapped, as he watched Lance soar head over heels into the row of sentries he was meant to be defending them against. He’d turned last second to check where Keith was on the field, despite the fact their two positions had no impact on the drill whatsoever. 

It was painstakingly clear that there was something going on between Keith and Lance now, and everyone else on the team had noticed. The worst part was, they weren’t even getting annoyed with just Lance, they were shooting dirty glares in Keith’s direction too. Despite the fact Keith and Lance hadn’t genuinely fought in months, the team was right back to looking at them like they were caught up in a childish rivalry. Keith wasn’t even the one to blame!

“I am concentrated!” Lance barked back at him, voice cracking weakly after being forced to address Keith for the first time since the night before. Keith charged forward, batting sentries away from Lance while the other boy got back to his feet. Nevermind that he’d been meant to stay on the other side of the room for this drill.

“On the wrong damn things!” Keith roared back as he finished dispatching the last sentry, whirling around to glare at Lance. He stomped closer, holding his free hand up between them and jabbing a finger into the middle of Lance’s chest. His anger was getting the better of him now, for the first time in a long time. 

Good to know that Lance still held the same ability to push Keith’s buttons that he had back in the beginning.

“What’s that supposed to mean?!”

“Oh, you  _ know _ what that’s supposed to mean!”

“Shut-up, Keith!” Lance screeched back at him, slapping Keith’s hand away with enough force to make it hurt. Keith stumbled backward, cradling his hand to his chest. Oh, hell no, like he was going to let Lance disrespect him like that and make him look like an idiot in front of the team. He was still fighting to earn their respect, to have them see him as a permanent leader!

He glared, prepared to tell Lance off or something of the like, just like he would have back in the days of their rivalry… but he hesitated. Lance wasn’t glaring back. His eyes were wide and uncertain, wet with unshed tears. Keith’s blade fell from his other hand, clattering to the ground.

Lance turned away quickly, embarrassed. “Just, shut-up.”

“Lance.” Keith sighed out, all fight gone from his voice. He glanced toward where the rest of the paladins were standing by, watching their exchange in confusion. Keith scrubbed his hand across his forehead, feeling a headache coming on. “Let’s break for now!”

“Wow, Lance, good job.” Pidge grumbled, stomping off toward the bench. Breaks only extended their training time and kept them from whatever plans they’d had afterward, so generally Keith tried not to call one unless it was absolutely necessary and someone had gotten hurt. That look in Lance’s eyes had definitely been hurt, though. Even if it wasn’t quite the same.

Keith gestured for Lance to follow him to the other side of the room. Lance trailed reluctantly behind him, dragging his feet all the way and making it clear how much he’d rather be anywhere else. After leading them into the far corner, Keith turned back to Lance with a stern look. “Look, I know you have a lot going on right now, but I need you to lock that away for now. The team deserves your full attention, you need to put in your best effort.”

“I know that.” Lance sighed, low and petulant.

“Well?” Keith gestured expectantly with his hand. “Can I rely on you to do your part from now on?”

“I don’t need a lecture right now.” Lance argued loudly, loud enough to garner the attention of the other paladins. Keith inhaled deeply through his nose, noting the challenge in Lance’s tone and for once not rising to the occasion. He’d just let Lance win this time, he didn’t want to fight over this.

“I know you don’t, but  _ I  _ need my right-hand man.” Keith replied gently, hesitantly reaching out to squeeze Lance’s shoulder. Lance stared down at his hand, but he didn’t try to dodge away from the touch, which had to mean they were making progress. Keith smiled. “This won’t work without you.”

“I… can’t.” Lance grit out through his teeth, looking undeniably frustrated with himself even as he finally opened up. Keith stepped closer, frown deepening when Lance backtracked away from him. They both seemed uncomfortable, unsure of where they stood with one another now. 

Lance threw his hands up in defeat. “I can’t just pretend everything is normal between us, Keith. I can’t focus on anything else right now, it’s pretty all-consuming.”

And, well, at least he was being honest and starting to open up. Keith couldn’t fault him for that, couldn’t force him to be okay with something he just wasn’t. He leaned back, biting his lip and thinking hard on a solution for their problem. He couldn’t just let Lance leave with no excuse, that’d only make things worse for both of them when the others started to question what was going on. 

“Then focus on me and make something productive out of it.” Keith said decidedly, grabbing Lance by the wrist and hauling him back toward the center of the room. Lance stumbled next to him, struggling to keep up with everything that was happening. 

“Hey, wh-”

Keith turned to face him once they were situated where he wanted, grabbing his blade off the floor and lowering himself into a fighting stance. “Let’s spar.”

“Are you serious?” Lance laughed, placing his hands on his hips and giving Keith a critical once-over, like he’d somehow lost his mind in the last thirty seconds. He looked caught between amused and annoyed, but at least it wasn’t the same painstaking indifference from that morning. “Do I even  _ have _ to tell you why this is a bad idea?”

“You win and you can leave early.” Keith offered, flashing a toothy smile. Lance lit up, realizing this was the only loophole that would excuse him leaving early. Keith was sacrificing his pride and making it look like a childish competition, just to give Lance an out. 

“What did you just say?” Pidge called, pausing in the middle of their own practice. “Don’t tell me you’re going easy on him just because he can’t control his whining again.”

“Everyone else practice your individual parts of the drill, work on anything you had trouble with. We’ll pick this up again tomorrow.” Keith ordered, leaving no room for argument. Lance watched on in awed silence, a big grin on his face now that he’d realized Keith was truly on his side. 

Lance’s enthusiasm was short-lived once he figured out Keith wasn’t going to just _ let  _ him win. He started to pout again, glaring at Keith while he landed flimsy hits and barely dodged Keith’s calculated ones. As much as Keith wanted to just let him go, he needed to keep it up long enough that suspicions didn’t arise with the other paladins. They were nosy at best and invasive at worst, it was a wonder they didn’t know about last night’s encounters already.

Besides, it wasn’t all that often that Keith had a chance to spar with Lance. Sue him if he was maybe enjoying it a little bit more than he was letting on. Finding excuses to spend time with Lance casually was always a battle, this was almost… nice.

Even if he had to spend their time together brutally suplexing Lance into the ground.

“Hey! Asshole! This isn’t a simulation, that caused me real pain!” Lance screeched, blindly kicking from the ground. Keith shook his head fondly, pacing over to the bench to grab himself a drink of water. 

He knew that they were evenly matched for the most part, that if Lance was putting his best effort into the fight he surely would have won by now. He was just too fidgety and distracted. He was almost scared to put his hands on Keith and that was… disheartening.

“You leave yourself too open, focus more on your defense than offense.” Keith informed him evenly, returning with Lance’s water bottle in hand. Lance was still lying on the floor where Keith had left him, staring dismally up at the ceiling. Keith leaned over him, blocking his line of view, and held the water out as a peace offering. “You’ve got this, Lance. You’ve beat me before and you’ll do it again.”

“Are you sure you aren’t using this as an excuse to take your anger out on me?” Lance mumbled, his eyes narrowed in obvious suspicion. Keith huffed in disbelief, holding out a hand to help Lance to his feet. He wasn’t all that surprised when Lance hesitated to accept his offer, eyeing the outstretched hand like it held some sort of double-meaning.

“I’m not angry.” 

“That’s a first.” Lance quipped back easily, winking up at Keith. And after an entire morning of not being themselves, of barely having Lance look him in the eye, there was something about that playful edge to Lance’s voice that just did Keith in. He gaped, staring like a starving man who had just laid eyes on a feast, breathless and mesmerized. 

He was about to respond with something equally as playful, mayhaps flirty, when a boot made hard contact with the back of his knee.

Keith cried out in pain, doubling over and crashing to the floor in one clumsy movement. He would have caught himself and bounced right back up, ready to defend himself, if not for the long limbs that’d suddenly wound around him. 

Lance cackled wildly as he pinned Keith in place, all too proud of his victory. “Ha!”

“Lance, that’s cheating.” Keith deadpanned, not even bothering to fight back as he was manhandled onto his back and Lance scrambled to sit on his stomach. Lance stared down at him, looking much livelier now that he’d won the competition.

“It’s not cheating, it’s using observational skill to your advantage to strike at the perfect time. It’s not  _ cheating _ , anyone can do that. This is a skill, thank you very much.” Lance explained, tilting his chin up and looking utterly confident in himself. Keith stared up at him, feeling his resolve crumbling away piece by piece. He loved this Lance, the playful and self-assured man he’d met to begin with, before all the insecurities and self-doubt had really crept in.

Hell, Keith and Lance and everyone else in the room all knew that it wouldn’t count as a real win. Lance was doing a damn good job trying to sell it that way, but training just didn’t work like that. You needed to win based on legitimate skill, not the luck of the draw. But...

Keith realized he was staring when Lance stopped talking on top of him, mouth slowly closing and tilting into a lopsided little frown. He tilted his head to the side, peering down at the other boy. “Keith?”

“Okay.” Keith breathed, the word barely audible. Lance caught it anyway, given their closeness.

“O-Okay?”

“You win.” Keith said, well-aware of the heads that turned in their direction in disbelief, having been eavesdropping the entire time. Lance looked just as confused as the others, eyebrows furrowed together and eyes wide. This was definitely special treatment and Keith was definitely a shitty leader for it, but he couldn’t bring himself to care right now.

He sat up slightly, jostling Lance back into his lap. Lance went willingly, still looking slightly dazed after Keith’s unexpected complacency. Keith glanced the space between them, eyes finding Lance’s curious blue ones mere inches away. 

Keith took a deep breath. Try as he may, he couldn’t force himself to hold the words in anymore, not after letting it eat away at him all morning. “Lance… are we okay? Did I mess things up between us?”

It was terrible, watching all the tentative trust that they’d just rebuilt disappear in an instant. Lance went rigid, looking like he was ready to bolt at any second just to avoid having this conversation. Though, that wasn’t real trust, was it? If they just neglected to address their problems and let it all pile up, it’d always come back to haunt them.

This was better for the both of them, even if it looked like Lance would rather crawl out of his skin than answer Keith’s question.

“Is this really the place to have this conversation?” Lance whispered, low and urgent. Keith shrugged his shoulders, hands falling to Lance’s hips and attempting to keep him settled where he was.

“Well, if we don’t have it now, then when? Are you ever gonna let it happen?” Keith said, speaking fast and quiet, trying to speed things along before anyone took close notice of their frozen position. Lance didn’t seem to feel that same fire, that need to rush along. He just sat there, as if debating how to answer, or whether he even should.

“I’d rather not.” Lance said finally, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. He reached down, nails digging into Keith’s hands and forcefully prying them off of Lance’s thighs. Keith watched him scramble to his feet with a sense of resignation. “I gotta, er, go to my room.”

“Lance.” Keith pleaded, getting to his feet and pacing after him. “Come on, we have to talk about it.”

“We don’t and I won’t.”

“Lance.” Keith tried again, the patience draining from his voice. When Lance still refused to turn around and so much as look at him, Keith threw caution to the wind and yelled, even knowing that everyone in the room would hear it. “Lance, this is a command as your leader, get back here and talk to me!”

“Fuck off, Keith! You’re not the real leader of Voltron and you know it!” Lance yelled back, fuming as he stormed out of the room, looking like a kid throwing a tantrum. Keith stopped following him after that, stopped moving altogether as he froze to the spot.

Of course he knew that he couldn’t possibly fill Shiro’s shoes, he couldn’t even hope to come close. He knew that none of the paladins looked at him quite the same way, that calling out commands during battle and having them impulsively followed was a lot different from earning genuine trust and faith from his teammates. The line between overbearing and negligent was too thin, and Keith had never really learned how to walk it.

He just, well… out of everyone, he’d always thought that Lance believed in him the most. So it stung a little bit. A lot.

“Keith, he didn’t mean-” Pidge started to say, but Keith brushed them off with a shake of his head. He didn’t need their advice, didn’t want to drag anyone else into this terrible mess he’d made of the team. It was immature of him.

“You guys finish up on your own, I’m going after him.” As Keith started out of the room, Allura caught him by the wrist and forced him to pause. He diligently looked everywhere but to her eyes, not wanting to see the earnest hurt and compassion for him. He didn’t deserve their support, not when he knew they were all thinking the same things Lance had just announced to the room.

“Think of what Shiro would do.” Allura reminded him, squeezing his arm in support. Keith wasn’t sure how to tell her how far he’d already drifted from Shiro’s own path, what a disappointment he was in comparison. What would Shiro do in his situation? Nothing, he’d never end up there, he’d never be stupid enough to let his feelings for a teammate hurt the cause.

He certainly wouldn’t make-out with said teammate, throw their relationship out into the abyss of the unknown, and then proceed to fail terribly at making sense of it all.

He didn’t go straight to Lance like he’d planned, instead he strayed to the hangar and spent some time simply sitting in Black’s cockpit. Nevermind that his eyes had lingered longingly on Red as he’d walked past, or that he still couldn’t truly make sense of the bond he and Black had, this was the situation he found himself in and he would just have to deal with it.

The same way he would have to deal with the Lance situation, even if it meant sacrificing what he wanted for the greater good.

When he finally made it to Lance’s door, the other paladins were all asleep already. He’d skipped out on dinner, despite the fact that Lance had probably done the same in an effort to avoid him. Keith just needed the time alone to think this through, figure out what he was going to say before he was face-to-face with Lance again.

The first time Keith knocked, there was no response whatsoever from inside Lance’s room. He wondered if the other boy was asleep, but he also knew how much this was eating away at the both of them, that it’d be impossible to sleep when things were like this. He knocked again.

“Lance?” Keith asked, leaning in close and pressing his forehead to the door. There was some shuffling on the other side of the door, but no one unlocked. Keith sighed in annoyance. “Look, I know you’re in there. I don’t care if you don’t let me in, we’re having this conversation now whether it’s through the door or not. Hopefully no one wakes up and overhears while I’m talking about what we did in my lion last night, I’d hate for them to get the wrong idea and-”

“Go away.” Lance’s voice rang out, low and wobbly, clearly trying to fight away tears. Keith hesitated, squeezing his eyes tightly shut and trying to think. Lance spoke up again though, drawing Keith from his thought with the most desperate plea Keith had ever heard from his lips. “ _ Please _ .”

That only confirmed what Keith had been worried about, that this was keeping Lance and bothering him late into the night. Keith scrubbed his hands over his face, trying to remember all the speeches he’d prepared in advance. He came up frustratingly short.

“Lance.” Keith sighed out. “I’m _ sorry _ , okay? I shouldn’t have pushed you, I knew for a fact you weren’t sure about what we were doing and went along with it anyway. I should have ended it before it happened, but I didn’t. So, I’m sorry. Can we please talk about this face-to-face?”

“Go away.” Lance repeated again, voice cracking audibly. 

“No, not until we-”

“Keith!” Lance shouted, loud enough that he’d probably start to stir the other paladins at this rate, if he kept up that tone. Keith shrunk away from the door, feeling skittish at the late hour. “Listen to me. I want to be alone right now. There’s nothing you can do to make this any easier on either of us.”

“Lance, _ please _ .” Keith whispered, knowing that Lance was close enough to the other side of the door to be able to hear it. He didn’t even care how raw and needy his voice sounded, like this was the only thing that mattered to him. He needed to fix things between them, sooner rather than later.

Lance didn’t seem to feel the same though. His breath was short and calculated, distanced.

“Go.” He replied from the other side of the door. Keith’s hand curled into a tight fist in response, blunt nails digging into his palm. He took a deep breath, tried and failed to calm himself down, and then slammed his hand to the door frame in an outburst of emotion.

“For fuck’s sake!” Keith whirled around, stomping back to his own room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAA I'm gonna post the next chapter in just a couple hours before I go to bed, don't let me forget!! I promised someone I'd post this one early and I totally forgot because I've been busy, so we'll do a two updates in one night special!
> 
> Hope u enjoyed that tasty conflict, bet u weren't expecting a fic with this many sex tags to be such a slow burn, huh? Here are Sad Fruit Enterprises we relish in the tension.
> 
> https://twitter.com/MelancholyMango  
> http://melancholymango.tumblr.com   
> http://miscreantmango.tumblr.com (nsfw)  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npuuTBlEb1U


	5. Chapter 5

Lance had never been an early riser, but today he was up hours before anyone else. After locking himself in his room for the rest of the day after that choice interaction with Keith, he was positively starving and desperate to take a shower. The adjacent bathrooms to their bedrooms only had a sink and a toilet, and he wasn’t about to stoop so low as to sponge bath himself just to avoid some confrontation.

It would probably be some of the worst confrontation of his life when it finally caught up to him though, that much he was sure of. He’d seen the flurry of emotions in Keith’s eyes before he ran away, heard the desperation in his voice as Keith pleaded with him through the door, and that final hit of his fist to the plane of Lance’s door had only solidified just how badly he’d messed things up.

In all honesty, it’d been quite some time since he’d managed to anger Keith like that. Before they used to be at each other’s throats every day, but they’d been so close for so long now that hearing genuine anger in Keith’s voice was scary. He didn’t want to go back to how they’d been before. Then again, he had a sneaking suspicion that wherever they were headed might be even worse.

He wanted to talk it out, to let Keith know what he was feeling and how to fix things. He just… wasn’t sure himself about either of those things. The mess they were in now was unlike any they’d ever been in before and Lance’s feelings were so mixed and terrifying, he didn’t know what to make of any of it.

He thought maybe he could ignore it all, just pretend it hadn’t happened and force himself back into their old normal. That plan flew out the window the moment they made eye contact, but it got to the point it was almost laughable that he’d ever believed it when Keith had pinned him to the ground that first time during their sparring.

Keith on top of him, forcing him to the ground over and over again, sweaty and grunting with exertion as they fought. The effects had been instantaneous, one second he was so anxious he thought he might be sick, and the next he was fighting the urge to just let Keith _keep_ pushing him around so he could feel those hands on him. God, it was pathetic.

Given all the practice they’d had together, they were both pretty much equally skilled at hand-to-hand combat. Usually when they fought the wins were pretty evenly matched. Now, Lance was losing time and time again. Keith seemed to think it was still because he was nervous, that he was thinking too much and kept getting lost in his thoughts. The actual problem was that Lance was thinking far too little, incapable of a single coherent thought when Keith grappled with him on the floor, harsh and unforgiving as he shoved Lance’s face into the floor.

It was, admittedly, not Lance’s strongest moment of self-preservation.

In his defense, by the time he felt himself getting worked up to the point of getting hard, he’d been so mortified at the thought of being found out that he started to fight back in earnest. Maybe his road to winning wasn’t the most fair one in the world, but for some reason Keith had ran with it. All other things aside, Lance was infinitely grateful of that, of the care and understanding Keith was showing him.

Not that Lance really _deserved_ it, considering he’d practically ran back to his room in his rush to get his hands on himself. Was it his proudest moment? Absolutely not. Did it feel damn good to get off thinking about Keith pinning him to the bed instead of the training room floor? Yep, sure did.

Lance found himself wandering the halls after getting some food and a shower, not wanting to head back to his room just yet in case he ran into Keith leaving his own. He explored the far chambers, the ones where he knew Coran stayed on his own and tended to that entire wing of the castle. It was kind of like a giant bachelor pad, Lance could only imagine that Allura didn’t come back here often given all the strange decor Coran had around the place.

Lance was checking out a vase that seemed to be covered in some kind of hair when he felt a hand on his back. He nearly jumped out of his skin.

“Lance, nice to see you up bright and early!” Coran greeted, bright and gleeful. Lance breathed a relieved sigh and relaxed into the touch. At least it wasn’t Keith, he had to count his blessings here.

“What’s up, Coran?”

“I’m currently in the process of sorting through some old files I uncovered in the castle storage. They date back quite far, but a lot of the text is obscured after all these years. I’m finding any that are still legible and setting them aside.” Lance nodded along, pretending to be as excited about this turn of events as Coran obviously was. It may have been a mistake to play along though, given that Coran lit up like a kid in a candy store. “Would you like to help me out, my boy?”

“Do I have to?” Lance groaned, his shoulders already sagging in defeat. It was incredibly difficult to say no to Coran, he was just too optimistic to justify letting him down.

“Well, no,” Coran hummed, twirling his mustache, “but between you and me, it looks like you could use a distraction!”

“You’re right.” Lance admitted, smiling at the other man. He relented, deciding that maybe this would be the best way to keep his mind off of things. He nodded his head, following Coran back to his study, a large and tacky room filled with dust. On the floor, he immediately spotted Romelle with her attention glued to an ancient-looking book.

Lance settled at the desk, thankful when Coran rushed to bring him a pile of papers to sort through.

“Here’s your stack, take as much time as you need.” Coran told him with a kind smile, turning away to go work on his own. Lance had to admit that Coran was onto something about needing a distraction, having his hands occupied and needing to concentrate on the text on the papers made it hard for his mind to wander anywhere else. It wasn’t until he finished his stack and realized how late into the day it was getting that he really went back to worrying.

He’d definitely missed breakfast, he might have even missed their daily training session again. Keith was never going to finish teaching them the team drill at this point.

Lance slumped over the desk, burying his face in his arms.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Coran asked, settling a glass of water in front of Lance. Any other time Lance might have opened up, just because Hunk could only really do so much and he was used to having an entire extended family worth of support. He just couldn’t sit here and talk about his attraction to Keith with Coran of all people, he’d probably start planning a wedding for them before Lance had even breathed the first word.

“I can’t.” Lance told him simply.

“You know, I’ve made quite a few mistakes in my day.” Coran told him, his voice sympathetic. Lance smirked, trying not to find amusement in the idea of Coran being in a situation even remotely similar to the disaster he found himself wrapped up in. “I don’t regret many of them, though. Do you know why?”

“Why?”

“I chose to learn from them.” Coran told him, plain as day, like it was that easy. “Whatever you’re bottling up inside of you right now and refusing to address, it’s only going to get heavier and weigh you down more. You should address the problem head-on and nip it right in the bud, before it gets worse.”

“I don’t know if it _can_ get any worse.” Lance groaned, rubbing at his eyes. He finally looked up, rather reluctantly meeting Coran’s gaze. Maybe he couldn’t tell him everything, but the specifics weren’t really all that necessary. “I think I really messed up this time. Keith _hates_ me.”

“Keith values you deeply as a member of this team and as a friend. Anything you’ve done, I know you can undo. He probably wants things to go back to normal just as badly as you do.” Coran promised him, so much absolute certainty in his voice that Lance found it difficult to argue with. He sighed, slumping down again and worrying his bottom lip between his teeth.

“Normal, huh?” He mused, trying to figure out if they even had a normal anymore. It was obvious that he couldn’t just ignore everything that’d happened, but maybe if he asked really nicely and tried to backtrack, Keith would let him. If they were on the same page about going back to how things were before, maybe it would be possible.

As much as Lance was confused right now about what he wanted, he knew that none of this was worth losing Keith as a friend. It’d taken him so very long to get to that point with Keith, he would give up anything to go back there.

Lance nodded, his decision made. He would tell Keith that it was all a mistake, that it had been awkward at best and gross at worst. He would ask for things to go back to how they were before and that would be that. Lance wasn’t so desperate for dick that it was more important than his relationships.

He looked up at Coran, smiling hopefully. “I’ll try my best.”

After that, Lance couldn’t possibly find Keith fast enough. He checked the kitchens first, just because they happened to be on his way to where he was already sure he’d find Keith. Hunk was settled at the table, tinkering with some kind of invention. He noticed Lance right away, lighting up in relief.

“Lance.” He breathed, smiling wide. “I haven’t seen you all day, man. Where have you been?”

“Hiding.” Lance explained easily, shaking his head dismissively when a questioning look crossed Hunk’s features. He didn’t want to talk about it. Hunk would only disapprove of Lance’s plan, tell him that the only right decision was to be honest and truthful. His heart would be in the right place, but if Lance honestly and truthfully told Keith where his thoughts had been lately their relationship would truly go up in smoke for good. “Where’s Keith?”

“Training deck.” Hunk answered, despite them both knowing that Lance knew where to look. “Why?”

“Can’t talk right now.” Lance explained quickly, whirling around and heading down the hall. He knew that look on Hunk’s face, the poorly-concealed suspicion and wariness. He knew that Lance was up to no good, some sort of impulsive plan, and he was no doubt gonna try to talk him out of it. Lance had to do this though, even if he hadn’t really reached a conclusion yet on what he wanted, that didn’t matter if it came at the price of his friendship with Keith.

There would be other guys. If not, there would definitely be other girls. There wouldn’t be another Keith.

Lance bounced into the training deck, full of energy and ready to put his all into fixing things. All of his plans were temporarily put on hold, however, when he caught sight of Keith. Shirtless, slashing through bots with a sword in both hands, sweat dripping down his back and keeping his long hair plastered to his skin. His eyes glowed yellow as they focused on all the bots surrounding him, his upper lip pulled back in a sneer that showed off sharp fangs, vicious force behind each swing of his weapons.

Lance suddenly debated turning around and walking right back out of the room.

He probably would have, if he hadn’t been glued to the spot. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from Keith as he watched the other man fight. It was clear that he wasn’t just training or practicing, he was addressing this as if it were a life or death battle. Lance was usually too busy handling his own to really admire Keith on the battlefield, to really feel the sheer power that rolled off of him in waves.

Maybe he was wired wrong, but against all odds he found himself clumsily walking _toward_ that chaotic energy, like accidentally walking in front of Keith’s blade wasn’t even such a bad thing if he got to have a closer look at him.

Of course, Keith was on high alert and quickly noticed that he was no longer alone in the room. He ended the training sequence, eyeing Lance cautiously before heading toward the bench. Lance followed clumsily after him, words lost to him as he watched Keith tip his water bottle back and chug it down. It was messy and rough, he ended up soaking his chin and the front of his shirt alike, the water blending in with the sweat that seemed to stick to every inch of Keith.

Lance wasn’t sure at what point a sweaty Keith had gone from something disgusting to something that made him want to drift so much closer.

Lance took a nervous step forward, given they still had a good few feet between them where he’d stopped earlier, but Keith immediately went rigid. He stopped drinking, turning to glare toward Lance, daring him to take another step closer. And because Lance’s common sense had been replaced with a strange new curiosity, he did.

“You look pissed.” Lance observed, not stopping until he was standing directly in front of Keith.

“I am.” Keith grunted, turning away to grab a towel and wipe his face with it. He turned back, looking almost shocked to see Lance was still standing there after his best attempts to ward him away. Lance gulped awkwardly as Keith sized him up, eyes raking over Lance’s nervous stature. “What do you want?”

“You’re pissed at me?”

“I’m pissed in general.” Keith clarified in a deadpan, narrowing his eyes at Lance. One dark eyebrow climbed toward Keith’s hairline, slow and unimpressed.

“O-Oh.” Lance stuttered out, thoughts drifting back to the night before. This Keith was a far cry from the one that’d sat at the bar and encouraged Lance, had flirtily introduced himself to aliens and shamelessly gone after what he wanted. This Keith was closed off and distant, like the days when he and Lance had only just met. He missed his Keith already.

“Can I help you with something or not, Lance? Don’t waste my time.”

Lance offered a shaky smile, trying to figure out the answer to Keith’s question. Keith seemed to be growing increasingly more impatient each time Lance avoided answering, but suddenly all of the speeches Lance had prepared felt unspeakably wrong. He couldn’t stand here and tell this Keith that he wanted to forget things had ever happened between them and move on, he’d probably get punched in the face!

And more than that, looking at Keith how he was right now, Lance couldn’t even lie about regretting the night before. The attraction was palpable, he almost found himself drifting closer despite the survival instincts in his head screaming to give Keith his space right now.

“Um, I don’t know. Why don’t you tell me?” It was supposed to be a joke. Somewhere in Lance’s anxiety-riddled mind he’d decided that pretend flirting would somehow bring them back to their usual dynamic, especially so if he pulled the same stupid line as Keith from the night before to make a mockery of it. Except Keith wasn’t laughing. And Lance hardly sounded mocking.

Keith growled in annoyance, patience growing thinner by the second.

“What do you _want_ , Lance?”

“I don’t know.” Lance admitted meekly, as Keith stepped closer and loomed over him. Spending all that time lost on a space whale had certainly given Keith a height advantage, he was built like a tank now. It should have been intimidating, should have made Lance think twice about what he was doing and turn tail outta there. Instead, he stayed exactly where he was, even as Keith stalked closer like a predator assessing prey.

“Then why did you seek me out?” Keith huffed finally, turning and stomping back toward the center of the room. No doubt he was planning on going right back to training. He glanced over his shoulder, shooting Lance a nasty glare. “Go back to hiding, it’s what you’re best at.”

“I don’t want this to ruin things between us!” Lance shouted after him, running to catch up.

“It hasn’t.” Keith lied, rather obviously. He wasn’t even turning to look at Lance now. “We’re fine.”

“It doesn’t _feel_ fine.” Lance insisted, his voice pleading. Emotions flickered across Keith’s face and finally he looked at Lance, a trace of vulnerability in his gaze.

“What? You want the truth now?” Keith asked, bitterness heavy in the words. His composure was beginning to crack now, bits of emotion filtering through the act. “I thought this was what you wanted. Sweep it all under the rug and forget it ever happened. That’s your specialty, isn’t it?”

Keith’s words cut a little too close to home, but they weren’t spoken with the same sharp edge as before now. Keith’s voice was softer, more earnest in its anger. He wasn’t just blindly lashing out anymore, he genuinely believed that he was doing the right thing by not talking about it. Lance groaned, remembering how he’d begged Keith to leave him alone the night before.

“Keith, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“You didn’t.” Keith insisted, stifling like a cat that’d been brushed the wrong way. Lance rolled his eyes, wondering how he’d been given the reputation as the dramatic one.

“I thought we were telling the truth now?” Lance asked, tilting his head to the side. Keith glanced at him, his hard gaze giving way to something wide-eyed and lost. He threw his hands up, his expression pained.

“You didn’t hurt me! I hurt _you_ and it’s killing me inside because you won’t _let me_ fix it!”

“Well? What do you want me to say? I accept your apology? I know you’re sorry, that you didn’t mean for any of this to happen-”

“It did, though! It doesn’t matter what I meant, this is where we are right now and I want to fix it.”

“Keith, just tell me what to say to make it better and-”

“I don’t _want_ to hear what you think will make it better!” Keith shouted, raising his voice to the point that Lance took a stumbling step backward. Keith was looking at him in exasperation, clearly frustrated with whatever Lance was failing to understand here. “I don’t want you to lie to me about this and put on an act like you always do. I want to hear your genuine thoughts. I want to know what you’re feeling, what you think of everything, if you’re okay. I can’t make this better if we pretend it never happened, we have to be honest about all of it, okay? I need to know what _you_ want.”

“What I want?” Lance repeated, his mind moving slow as he desperately tried to keep up with the conversation. It was getting more and more difficult now that Keith was looking at him in that open and earnest way, a hand settled on Lance’s shoulder. He realized now that Keith had never been angry or disappointed with him, had been blaming all of this on himself the whole time much like Lance had been. All he wanted was to make sure that Lance was okay.

And as relieving as that was, something in Lance’s mind also took it as extremely flattering.

“Talk to me, Lance.” Keith prompted, stepping closer. Lance studied the space between them, his heart racing as he thought back to his plan. All he had to do was apologize, say that he was fine even though he’d realized kissing boys (namely Keith) wasn’t for him, and then kindly ask to go on with their lives as if it’d never happened. It would be easy! It should be easy.

Er, in another world where Lance and Keith weren’t currently sharing body heat and Lance wasn’t a desperate mess... it _could_ have been easy. Maybe.

Keith was asking for honesty though, and now more than ever Lance was certain that going back to how things were before wasn’t where he _wanted_ this to go. Even if it made the most sense, even if it was the safest option, it’d still be a lie. And surely Keith would appreciate it Lance gave him a genuine answer…

Lance looked up at him at their close proximity. He studied the determination in Keith’s eyes, the soft flush on his cheeks from working out, the curve of his jaw and the pout of his lips. It was no surprise when the same longing from the night before built in Lance’s chest, but this time he tried not to swallow it down or stomp it out. Instead, he leaned closer, into Keith’s personal space.

“I think I wanna do it again.” Lance whispered, his voice shy despite the certainty he felt.

“ _What_?”

“Kiss you.” Lance clarified, as if that was the part that was confusing. Keith was gaping at him, mouth opening and closing again, his face void of any of the heavy emotions from before. Now he just looked incredibly flustered, like Lance had just admitted to something unbelievable.

Keith stumbled backward and Lance quickly backtracked, wondering if he’d spoken too soon. He didn’t want to make things any worse! “D-Don’t get me wrong! This isn’t a crush. I’m not suggesting we get together and become boyfriends or something. I don’t even know if I _can_ be romantically attracted to guys, but the physical attraction is there to _some_ extent and I think I wanna know more about it.”

“I thought you hated it?!” Keith hissed, like this was the last possible thing he’d been expecting Lance to come out with. Lance furrowed his eyebrows together, shaking his head slowly. Keith was off on a tangent now though, guilt having clearly been eating him alive this whole time. “I pushed you too far, I didn’t respect your boundaries, I-”

“No!” Lance exclaimed hurriedly, grabbing Keith’s hands to try and ground him. Keith abruptly stopped talking, hesitantly meeting Lance’s gaze again. “The problem was how much I _didn’t_ hate it, dude.”

“Oh.” Keith breathed, realization dawning across his features. He was staring down at where their hands were touching, biting his bottom lip. The heavy level of concentration written across his face had Lance feeling nervous all over again. He started to ramble.

“And I could go out and try to find another stranger, but that doesn’t really make sense when you’re right here and I’m already comfortable with you. I know that’s weird though, don’t get me wrong. I know it’s too much to ask for from a friend and I know you won’t want to, but I can’t _stop_ thinking about it.”

“Give me a second to think.” Keith blurted, stuttering over the words. He slipped his hands out of Lance’s grip, rubbing them hurriedly on his sweatpants. Lance paused, quirking an eyebrow at the obvious distress in Keith’s tone. He hardly had any right to be nervous right now, Lance was the one going out on a limb and asking to change things up. All Keith really had to do was say yes or no, Lance would respect whichever answer he got.

Either way, he wasn’t going to push it when Keith looked so lost in thought.

“Okay.” Lance said, heading back over to the bench. They both sat down, a notable space between them that just wouldn’t be there normally. Lance studied it out of the corner of his gaze, a terrifying thought crossing his mind that he might have messed up their relationship forever just by asking. Would Keith look at him differently now?

Lance was beginning to panic himself, debating whether he should just take it all back and try to play it off as a joke, when Keith finally seemed to calm down enough to speak.

“So, what? You want to experiment with your sexuality and you think I’m the ideal candidate?” He asked, looking at Lance in obvious disbelief. Lance paled, letting out a pathetic squeak. It sounded a lot less casual when Keith was saying it in blunt terms like that.

“I don’t know about _ideal_ , but you’re the best I’ve got.” Lance joked, winking over at Keith. It was meant to be a joke, something to break the ice, but Keith was looking at him in a different light now and the wink definitely didn’t seem to calm either of them down. Keith cleared his throat harshly, getting to his feet. He no longer looked startled and flustered, Keith had definitely made up his mind.

Lance bit his lip, watching pathetically from the bench as Keith stood tall and stretched his arms high over his head. It was a very unique kind of torture, sitting there on the very edge of their changing relationship, watching the muscles of Keith’s abdomen flexing close enough that Lance could just reach out and touch. He hadn’t realized just how roughly he’d been chewing on his lip until he suddenly tasted blood. He forced himself to look away then, face flushed in embarrassment.

That might have been why he didn’t see it coming when Keith abruptly replied.

“I’m not sleeping with you, Lance.” He said it like it was a completely normal, warranted response. Like Lance had genuinely just walked into the room and asked Keith to raw him on the training room bench.

Except that was very much not what’d happened and Lance was pretty sure he was about to combust at the mere implication. He spluttered indignantly, jaw dropping as he simply failed to process the sudden turn of events. How did they go from kissing to sex in two seconds flat?! Keith, what the hell?!

Seeing his expression, Keith went on to explain in the most unsettlingly neutral tone possible, like a professor or some shit. “The commitment-free relationship is a myth and even if it wasn’t, we’re the last two people in this universe that know how to keep our emotions out of places they shouldn’t be. It’s irresponsible as the leader of this team.”

“I’m not-” Lance tried, choking on the words. Upon seeing Keith’s composure crack and give way to a smirk, Lance braved on and forced the words out anyway. “I didn’t even say anything about sex!”

“Not yet, you haven’t.” Keith corrected, his eyebrows raising knowingly. Lance glared petulantly back at him, unsure whether to be more offended or flustered. “This is a slippery slope to go down, even if it starts with the odd peck on the lips you’re gonna want more eventually. That’s how experimenting works, you know, you’re gonna keep pushing the boundaries until you know how much you’re comfortable with. I’m not the person to do this with.”

“I’m not gonna want to fuck you, Keith.” Lance huffed, starting to feel annoyed. “Trust me.”

“Lance, I trust you more than anyone else in my life,” Keith said, his voice surprisingly genuine. Their eyes met for a brief moment, the first time they’d even really looked at each other since Keith’s dumb ass had to go and bring up sex (with each other!) like that was a normal thing. “But this? It’s not gonna end well.”

Okay, well, at least Lance had reached a conclusion about one thing. He was definitely more offended than flustered now, his bravado coming back to him now that there was a semblance of familiarity in the conversation. Being angry at Keith came to him a lot easier than… whatever he’d been before.

“What do you think you are, some kind of sex god? I can resist the temptation, okay?” Lance snapped, his arms crossed over his chest. Keith shook his head, looking down at the floor between them.

“I don’t think I’m anything more than human.” Keith muttered quietly, glancing up from behind the curtain of his bangs. He looked sorta shy himself, come to think of it. His cheeks were definitely pinker than usual. “The same way I know you’re human and that it’s only human nature to want _more_.”

“I think that might be a Galra thing actually, can’t relate.” Lance blurted, because he’d never really learned how to filter a damn thing out of his mouth. The look Keith shot him in response was utterly unimpressed down to the core. Lance shrugged his shoulders, turning on his heel and getting ready to just call it quits.

It wasn’t the end of the world, sure Keith should have just said no instead of going off on this uncomfortable tangent, but whatever. At least they were on talking terms now, with that in mind they’d surely be back to their usual selves in no time at all. Lance would just have to put this whole thing behind him. Hopefully if he looked around and found another boy to fixate on, he’d stop looking at Keith in this weird new way.

Lance grumbled as he walked away, a sore loser as always. “I _only_ wanted to try kissing again and see if last time was a fluke, asshole. No need to pull a freak out.”

“A _fluke_?!” Lance stopped in his tracks, freezing mid-step at the sheer incredulousness in Keith’s tone, the shout loud enough to ring through the halls outside of the room. Lance felt a shiver travel up his spine, the very acute feeling of knowing he should have kept his damn mouth shut. He slowly turned around, offering a sheepish smile to the rapidly approaching Keith.

“I didn’t mean-” Keith cut him off, grabbing Lance’s shoulders and walking him backward until his back hit the wall. Lance gulped, watching as Keith crowded in close to him. His eyes were sparking with that same focus and determination he’d worn while he was fighting, all instinct-driven and nothing else. In this lighting they almost seemed to glow Galra yellow.

“A fluke?” Keith repeated, his voice so quiet now that Lance had to strain to hear it even with how they were pressed so close together. Keith had him pinned to the wall, hands planted firmly on his chest, eyes close enough for Lance to note the colors swirling in Keith’s irises.

“I don’t know, maybe it was just the atmosphere?” Lance tried, knowing damn well how stupid he sounded trying to justify what he’d said. Keith narrowed his eyes at him, stepping suddenly closer and slotting a thigh between Lance’s legs. The pathetic squeak that tumbled past Lance’s lips wasn’t something he was going to let himself live down.

“Look, I was trying to be gentle about all of this yesterday, I know this is all new to you. I’m _trying_ to be considerate of that, I am, but apparently that just took us right back to where we started. Let me be a little bit more clear this time.” Keith growled, hands moving to brace himself against the wall above Lance’s head, his body shifting closer until it was draped plainly across Lance’s front. Lance stared up at him through hooded eyes.

“K-Keith.” Lance whispered, sounding almost awed. Keith leaned in close, his hot breath ghosting across Lance’s neck. Keith pressed a chaste kiss to where Lance’s jugular was hurriedly pumping blood through his body, trying to keep up with the sudden amount of it pooling southward. He drew back, speaking against the shell of Lance’s ear.

“Galra thing my fucking ass. You can’t honestly tell me that all you want to do right now is kiss me.”

And really, Lance had absolutely no room to argue with him there. He’d been called out on his bullshit plain as day. All of those stupid fantasies from the night before were flashing behind his eyes again, over and over again, intensified by a million with Keith pressed up on him like this. There wasn’t even any hiding how obviously affected he was.

Still, he wasn’t just gonna admit that Keith was _right_. That’d probably result in something terrible, like Keith pulling away from him and ending this beautiful torture. So Lance stubbornly shook his head.

“I’m still not convinced.” Lance yelped when Keith’s hands came down to grip his hips, pressing him back against the wall and digging his nails in. Keith’s voice wasn’t teasing when he spoke now, it was low and dangerous, and Lance was pretty sure he’d never doubt his attraction to men ever again.

“Shut-up. This is the second time I’ve felt you get hard against my thigh. By all means, if you need more proof that this isn’t a fluke we can see how much more of this it takes for you to come, but I think I’ve already made my point.” Keith grit out, his hips rolling forward as if to prove himself. Whatever point he’d been trying to make was quickly forgotten when Lance moaned in response, immediately bucking back against the friction. Any semblance of control they’d had over the situation quickly depleted.

It was messy, desperate, and rough. In the back of his mind, Lance knew that anyone who so much as glanced into the training room would see it all. Keith pinning Lance to the wall, Lance’s long legs wrapped around Keith’s hips, the blatant way they were humping against each other to get off.

It was just, well, Lance didn’t really care who saw them as long as it meant they didn’t have to stop.

Lance’s hands slid up to grab at Keith’s obnoxious hair, something he’d suddenly realized he’d been wanting to do for a long time. He wove his fingers through it, tugging roughly until Keith obediently buried his face back into the curve of Lance’s neck.

He inhaled deeply before beginning to place open-mouthed kisses across Lance’s skin. The heat building up between them was unbearable. Lance groaned, tilting his head to the side as Keith introduced the sharp points of his teeth. He waited for the moment it’d hurt, when they’d break through and draw blood, but Keith seemed to know exactly the right amount of pressure to apply to make Lance’s whole body to tense up in anticipation, only to draw away the second before he felt the sting.

Lance’s hand slid from Keith’s hair, instead gripping the strong line of his jaw and forcing him to lean backward. The rhythm they’d built off stuttered to a stop as their eyes met, foggy and clouded with obvious lust. Lance flashed a toothy smile, leaning closer and fluttering his eyelashes coyly.

“Kiss me?” He purred, the words dripping with obvious intention.

Something about that seemed to draw Keith back to reality, regrettably. He stumbled backward and Lance’s legs fell back to the floor, the rest of his body nearly following when his stupid legs failed to hold up his body weight with the rush of arousal in his veins. He forced himself to brace against the wall though, so he could watch the emotions flickering across his friend’s face.

Keith’s eyes were widening slowly, having clearly taken him a moment to return to his senses. He raked his eyes up and down Lance’s disheveled form then, the blush on his face deepening even further. He looked positively debauched himself, hair sticking up in every which direction and lips swollen from all the hickeys he’d just given Lance.

“Fuck, I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was th-”

“Don’t apologize, you idiot.” Lance groaned, slapping a hand to his face. He slid his fingers apart, peering between them at the other boy. Keith still looked panicked, like a flighty animal planning on taking off any second. Lance grit his teeth, realizing what he was gonna have to admit to aloud. “It’s not like you forced yourself on me, I kinda asked for exactly that.”

“You did, huh?” Keith was smirking. Lance had half a mind to punch him in the jaw, just as soon as he managed to catch his breath and compose himself. Keith stood there dazedly for a moment, watching Lance lean back against the wall for support and simply pant. “Funny, I’m pretty sure the only thing you asked for was a kiss? You were actually pretty damn insistent that you wouldn’t want to go any further than that, _if I remember correctly_.”

“Okay, okay, point made.” Lance grumbled, holding up a hand in defeat. Keith still looked visibly nervous, but that was probably to be expected with the shaky ground their relationship was standing on in that moment. Luckily, Lance had no intentions of running away before they could sort it out this time around, he had a plan. “May I make a point of my own?”

“Choose your next words wisely.” Keith advised him, no doubt noticing the mischievous glint in Lance’s eyes. He knew what to expect when Lance looked like that.

“You fucker.” Lance chuckled, a mix between annoyed and impressed. The mixture must have confused Keith, considering the wary step he took backward. “You stood there and painted me like I was the slut here, the desperate one that was gonna want more and make things messy. You’re literally just as into this as I am, aren’t you? Come to think of it, you were awfully eager last night when I brought up the idea of us kissing. Your mind also went to sex the _second_ I brought up kissing, so… I guess we’re both a couple of sluts, hm?”

“ _Lance_.” Keith hissed, an obvious warning hidden somewhere there. Lance ignored it.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to be ashamed. I know I’m hot.” Keith was glaring at him now, so naturally Lance rose to the challenge and took it a step further. “Though, _I have to say_ , that super obvious bulge in your sweatpants is serving as a really sweet ego-booster.”

Keith looked furious now, such a bright shade of red that Lance thought he might have taken it a step too far. He was half expecting Keith to stomp over and hit him, but instead he got to watch as the other boy deflated. He didn’t look mad now, just embarrassed and out of his element. Lance lit up, confidence returning to him in one swift wave.

Lance may have floundered a bit when it came to the actual acts, he was used to calling the shots and having someone else pin him down like that was new. He was, however, utterly confident with this part of the game. He’d flirted his way into enough beds by now to know what he had to say, how he had to play it depending on the person. Keith was a little different from charming a stranger, but if anything Lance was starting to think it might be easier. He knew Keith’s buttons better, knew how to push every last one.

“We’re _so_ not doing this right now.” Keith muttered in disbelief, whirling around and stomping off toward the showers. Lance followed closely behind, hopping along next to him and throwing an arm around his shoulders for good measure. Keith shivered at the contact on his bare skin, still obviously worked up from before.

“Oh, come on, that was fun!”

“That was stupid. Things between us are gonna be even more awkward now.”

“I don’t think so.” Lance argued, bright and chipper. Keith’s shoulders were hiked up toward his ears, so awkward it was almost endearing. Lance slid his arm from Keith’s shoulders, giving him a moment’s peace before he dropped the next bomb on him. “In fact, I’d even go so far as to say I feel closer to you than _ever_ before.”

“I hate you.” Keith stated, no trace of playfulness in his voice. Lance took it in stride, knowing better than to take things like that to heart. Keith was damn good at putting walls up and hiding his emotions, Lance knew that he didn’t really hate him. He was just scared and reverting in on himself.

“Talk about a bonding moment, am I right?” Lance continued, trying to lighten the mood. He had a plan after all, but he needed Keith to calm down a bit before he enacted it. It was a bit of a doozy, even going by the usual Lance standard. So, he fell back on jokes, the way he always did. “I dry-humped you against a wall is definitely a step up from cradling someone in your arms.”

That joke wasn’t received nearly as well as Lance had hoped.

Keith’s arm darted out in front of him, clotheslining him hard enough that Lance was forced to a stop so he could clutch his throat. He turned to glare at Keith, his eyes watering. Keith was unforgiving.

“Why are you following me, Lance?”

“I’m about to tell you something you don’t hear often, try not to cream your pants.” Lance managed, slowly straightening back up from where he’d doubled over in pain. Keith didn’t look all that excited at the thought of whatever Lance had to say. “ _You were right_. I’m not gonna be satisfied with just kissing you, especially not after that.”

“You don’t fucking say.”

“Except, you were wrong about that being a bad thing.” Lance continued, holding up a single finger in front of Keith’s face. Keith grabbed it threateningly, and Lance prepared for him to bend it backward like the utter dick he was, but instead he simply held onto Lance’s hand like that. A silent ongoing threat toward whatever Lance was planning to say next. Lance nervously smiled. “I need to explore my sexuality, you definitely need more frequent stress relief. All I’m saying is that I think we would mutually benefit from-”

“Are you asking me to be friends with benefits?” Keith always had been a blunt guy, hadn’t he?

Lance weighed his options, realizing that he wouldn’t be able to lead into it nearly as casually and slowly as he’d hoped. Keith was standing there next to him with his hip cocked out to one side and a hand placed on it, his hair falling messily in his face despite the ponytail that barely clung to life, his eyes narrowed expectantly. There really wasn’t any way to beat around the bush with this one, it was clear that Keith was onto him now.

So Lance gave a big grin, trying to seem more confident than he really was.

“Yeah! No strings attached, no complicated feelings involved, no pressure. Strictly physical.” He said, gesturing with his hands as he spoke like that might help explain it better. Keith was staring blankly back at him, like he was lost in thought. Just when Lance started to think that maybe that was a good thing and he was thinking his options over, Keith turned away from him.

“No.” He called back, sounding utterly certain of that much. “No fucking way.”

“Hey! Get back here!” Lance pleaded, but Keith was practically jogging now and Lance was not about to try and jog after him. He was still hard and he was wearing skinny jeans, a lot of things could be said about Lance but he was no masochist. So, despite the fact they were in a hallway now, Lance shouted dumbly after him. “Keith, come on! I’m so hard it hurts!”

“Conclusion reached; you’re definitely at least a little bit gay! Go find some other helpless idiot to take that out on!” Keith shouted back, not even bothering to turn around. Lance’s frown deepened and he watched dismally as Keith turned the corner, disappearing from his sight. Suddenly he wasn’t running on adrenaline, on the simple hope that if he played his cards right he’d have a partner to fool around with and take care of his frustration with.

Now he was just standing in an empty hallway with a boner, once again confused on where the hell he stood in his friendship with Keith. Damn it.

“I don’t have anybody else.” Lance sighed.

He turned, stumbling sadly in the direction of his room. He hoped that he wouldn’t run into anybody else and that he could go have a pity party in peace. Already he was starting to overthink everything he’d just said and done, especially how he’d propositioned Keith for a friends with benefits relationship. What was he thinking! In what world would Keith have agreed to that!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And So It Begins :^) I decided not to wait to post this bc if there's one thing i do best, it's not listen to my own rules i make for myself
> 
> The chapter after this might actually be my favorite of the whole fic just because it's 100% Lance being a little shit and Keith dying inside. And yes, I'm absolutely chaotic enough to say that and then make u wait to read it. 
> 
> I PROMISE they're gonna bang their hearts out soon, just wait until chapter 7 and it's a solid 9k words of just straight up BONING, like a REAL horizontal mambo, just going fuckin ham on each other (ok that might be an exaggeration but there IS smut in chapter 7 i swea r)  
>    
> https://twitter.com/MelancholyMango  
> http://melancholymango.tumblr.com  
> http://miscreantmango.tumblr.com (nsfw)  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PByIP2MLWP0


	6. Chapter 6

Keith was pretty damn sure he’d never had to call on his self-control and willpower more than he had to reject Lance’s offer earlier in the training room. At one point there he had started to wonder if this was somehow another Blade trial, if Kolivan was gonna pop out from behind the corner any second and tell Keith he’d failed for being such a horny idiot. Except, now that Keith had made it safely back to the sanctity of the black lion, he was realizing that all of that had been real.

Really real.

The reality of the situation had definitely set in and it left Keith sitting in the pilot’s chair and staring at the ceiling, his mind utterly blown. The more he thought about it the more difficult to believe it seemed, to the point that he found himself pinching his arm once or twice to double-check it wasn’t a dream.

Eventually, he had no choice but to accept what’d happened.

Against all odds, Lance had really asked him to become friends with benefits, not a hint of sarcasm present in his voice. Not only that, but Keith had also pinned him to a wall and marked his neck up with dark bruises and bitemarks, all while grinding their bodies together in an absentminded attempt to get himself off. He had humped Lance’s thigh like a damn dog and for some reason unknown to Keith, Lance had liked it enough to go along with it and even ask for more.

Fuck.

“Fuck!” Keith huffed, out loud this time. Kosmo stirred at his feet, looking worriedly up at his master, his big ears quirking in interest. Keith ignored him, scrubbing his hands over his face and trying to force his mind to think about literally anything else.

It was haunting him all over again now, the feeling of Lance’s skin and the sound of the soft pleasured noises he made. Keith would never be able to sleep again at this rate, he was about to lose his mind.

Worse now, it wasn’t just as simple as feeling frustrated and taking care of it. Now he couldn’t even acknowledge his attraction to Lance without thinking of the offer. Why take care of it himself when Lance was ready and willing the moment Keith agreed? Sure, it was setting himself up for inevitable heartbreak because they in no way wanted the same thing, but… the temptation was there.

The temptation was so strong that at one point Keith got up and left his lion. He made it halfway to Lance’s room with intentions of changing his answer before forcefully directing himself toward the kitchen instead, remembering that Hunk had said something about how he had to bake for a new coalition event. That would serve as a distraction, at least long enough for Keith to remind himself why what he was doing was an awful idea.

He’d hardly set foot into the room before Hunk noticed him, warm and welcoming as he threw his flour-covered hands up in greeting.

“Keith!” Hunk beamed, gesturing toward the table. Keith eyed it, ultimately deciding not to sit down and instead to drift closer to the cooling rack filled with freshly-baked cookies. “You’re just in time for the first batch of cookies, if you’re interested.”

“Sounds like something I might be into.” Keith hummed, flashing him a quick smile. “Thanks, Hunk.”

“No problem, just take a seat and I’ll serve some up when they’re ready.” Hunk assured him, turning back to the stove. See, as much as Keith loved Hunk’s baking, he spent so much time on the presentation when Keith really just wanted to grab something and go. He edged closer to the cookies, licking his lips.

Surely Hunk wouldn’t notice if just one was missing?

Keith reached tentatively toward the cookies, eyeing the best looking one of the bunch. He’d just about snatched it without any problems when someone cleared their throat. Loudly. Keith froze in place, wide eyes darting toward the source of the noise.

“Keith’s stealing.” Lance said plainly, smirking at the betrayal displayed across Keith’s face. Hunk turned around, a knowing smile on his face as he nodded his approval and slid Keith the exact same cookie he’d been chasing after. Keith grumbled as he took it, heading over to confront Lance.

Lance was sitting on the edge of the counter in the far corner of the kitchen, clearly banished there by Hunk while he worked. He had a bowl of leftover dough in his lap and as Keith stood there watching, he was faced with the unique torture of Lance sucking his fingers clean and licking between them. His face felt like it was on fire all the sudden.

The knowing smirk that graced Lance’s lips as he swiped his tongue across them said that he’d certainly noticed the change in atmosphere from hostile to… whatever Keith was feeling right now. Before he could wrench his eyes away, Lance offered him a suggestive wink. “Take a picture, it’d last longer.”

“What’s your problem?!” Keith hissed under his breath, shaking himself out of his stupor. He took an angry bite of his cookie, leaning against the counter next to where Lance was sitting.  

“You wanna know my problem?” Lance asked, leaning over to speak near Keith’s ear in a harsh whisper that only the two of them could hear. “You got me sexually frustrated all over again and then left me there alone on the training deck like an asshole.”

“Oh, you poor thing. That must have been terrible.” Keith snapped back, eyes glued to the back of Hunk’s head to make sure he couldn’t hear what they were saying. If Lance was really going to go there right here in the middle of the kitchen, then fine. Keith would go there too.

Keith turned to Lance, eyes sparking with determination to win their fight. “You probably just went into the showers and fucked your fist five seconds later. Get over it.”

Lance’s nose crinkled in disgust at the bluntness of Keith’s words. He sat up straighter, putting space between the two of them. He scooped up some more dough into his hand, frequently glancing back up at Keith just to check if he was still wearing that gloating smile. He was.

“Yeah, I did.” Lance concluded then, a dangerous undertone to the expression he wore. He leaned in close again, biting his lip in a way that had to be intentional. “I chose _your_ favorite shower stall too, came all over the tiles thinking about you.”

“You’re disgusting.” Keith all but yelped, realizing what an idiot he’d been to think that he could beat Lance at his own game. No amount of confidence in the world could match with Lance’s utter lack of shame when it came to talking about sex. Keith shivered, unsure whether it was actual disgust or something else.

Suddenly overwhelmed by Lance’s closeness, he tried to shove the other boy out of his space. It didn’t go to plan and instead he ended up smacking Lance’s hand where he was licking it clean again. The resounding wet gurgle as Lance tried to stop himself from choking should have been disgusting. Really, all of this should have been disgusting, but Keith was to the point of desperate that everything Lance did had a fire flaming in his veins.

It didn’t help that all of the sudden Lance was purposely fueling it, flirting and saying dirty things that sounded like bad lines straight from a porno, or maybe Keith’s subconscious when he was dreaming about the other boy. Either way, Keith made a pained noise to counter Lance’s, nearly choking on his own saliva right along with Lance.

“Lance? You okay?” Hunk asked, worry filling his voice as he turned to his friend. Lance quickly composed himself, dropping his hand to his thigh and wiping it off on his jeans. He forced a quick reassuring smile to his friend.

“Fine.” Lance beamed. Hunk narrowed his eyes, glancing between them. Something on Keith’s face must have given them away outright because the sigh that Hunk let out was staggering.

“ _Guys_ , no fighting while I’m working.” Hunk pleaded, shooing them toward the door. They went willingly, though Lance looked none too happy about having to give up his comfortable counter perch. He sulked out of the room next to Keith. “You know I’m supposed to cater for the next coalition event, I need to get this recipe right! I can’t have distractions!”

As they reached the dining room, Keith half-expected Lance to leave him without another word. He did seem genuinely upset at having his moment with Hunk ruined. So when Keith settled at the table to spend some time on his phone, he was hardly expecting Lance to slide into the seat next to him.

Keith paused, gaze warily trailing in Lance’s direction.

“You know, if anything, now I wanna fuck you even less.” Lance stated, plain and simple, loud enough that Hunk could probably hear him from the room over. Keith drove his boot down on top of Lance’s foot with an annoyed hiss. “Hey! All I’m saying is that I think your theory was _flawed_.”

He wasn’t sure how much more of this casual sex talk he could take with Lance. Before now they’d had limits at least, things they did and didn’t talk about. Sure, Lance never shut up about his sexual prowess and all the encounters he’d had, but normally he didn’t seek Keith out to have the talk one-on-one!

“Good thing I don’t want to fuck you either then, I guess.” Keith growled back, pointedly staring at his phone to try and broadcast just how much he wanted to ignore Lance’s existence.

That should have been the end of it. They came to a mutual agreement after all, what was left for them to argue about? Keith waited patiently for Lance to announce his departure and leave the room, but he stayed annoyingly silent as he sat there. Eventually, Keith tore his gaze away from his phone to stare at Lance in exasperation.

He was expecting Lance to be distracting himself with something stupid, maybe even staring at Keith just to weird him out until he caved and left the room first. What he wasn’t expecting was for Lance to be all sprawled out in his chair, leaning back and staring pensively toward the ceiling. He was thinking very hard about something. Oh no. That was never a good sign with Lance.

“For what it’s worth, I think it’s _you_ that would fuck it up. You’re so impulsive and bad with self-control, you wouldn’t be able to respect the limits and things would get weird.”

Oh, lovely, they were back on the topic of their hypothetical fuckbuddy relationship.

This was getting to the point where really Keith should have just shut it down outright, told Lance to fuck off with finality in his voice. He knew that Lance would listen, he’d always respected Keith’s opinions and decisions when he said them in blunt terms. He just liked to test the limits, push the boundaries of how much he could get away with. Keith knew that. Keith knew all he had to do was say he didn’t want it with a straight face and Lance would back off.

Keith just wasn’t that good of a liar.

“Yeah right, you’re such a desperate idiot you’d probably fall in love the first time I got you off.” Keith challenged, wondering if he was more of a masochist than he’d originally led himself to believe. He saw the irony in his words, acknowledged it, and then went on to say it anyway. Like his feeble heart needed any more confirmation on how Lance didn’t feel the same.

This was just sex to him, a willing body to fool around with and explore what he liked. It was so much more to Keith, to the point that it almost hurt to think about trying to hide his emotions to pretend it was only physical. He couldn’t do this. He wouldn’t do this. And yet… he wasn’t saying no.

He just wanted it so badly, had spent so many long hours dreaming about the moment Lance would realize his feelings and they’d eventually take it to the bedroom. Maybe this wasn’t exactly what he’d wanted, it was more like a cheap mockery, but it was something. It was more than Keith had.

And Keith _wanted_ it.

“Oh yeah?” Lance huffed petulantly, crossing his arms over his chest and sulking the slightest bit at being insulted. Keith rolled his eyes, looking back to his phone.

“Yeah.” He blew the hair out of his face with a heavy exhale. He’d read maybe a sentence or two of the article he’d found to occupy his time before he felt it. Lance’s hand settled on his leg, near his knee and not anything higher, but still suggestive in its mere presence. Keith grit his teeth together, ignoring the way his entire body screamed for more. More contact, more touch, more of Lance.

He turned, quirking an eyebrow. “What are you thinking?”

“Nothing.”

“ _Lance_.” Keith didn’t buy Lance’s innocent act for a second. Almost regrettably, Lance dropped his hand from Keith’s knee and held it up defensively between them. Keith wasn’t at all impressed.

“I’m just gonna make you realize what you’re missing out on, that’s all.”

“I thought you didn’t even want to do it anymore!”

“I don’t, but hell if I don’t have a point to prove now!” They paused after shouting at each other, both looking toward the kitchen at the same time. There was no obvious reaction from Hunk. Lance turned back to Keith then, leaning in close and placing a hand on Keith’s shoulder. The casual touch was going to be the damn death of him. It’d seemed so natural between them before, but now he was hyper-aware of what Lance wanted, what his intentions were.

Keith stared into his eyes, already feeling his willpower slip. Lance looked so damn attractive when he set his mind to something, when his eyebrows drew together in deep concentration. “I’m gonna make you crack. Give it a week and you’ll be begging me to give you the chance to change your answer. I know you want me, you’re just too proud to admit it.”

“Are you sure you’re not just seeing what you want to see?” Keith said, being difficult until the bitter end as always. Lance looked a little taken aback for a second, like maybe Keith meant it, and immediately Keith regretted speaking up. As much as he knew he couldn’t do this, the idea of not doing it and passing on the offer of a lifetime was so much worse. It’d haunt him forever if he didn’t take what could be his only chance to touch Lance like that.

He quickly backtracked the only way he knew how, his own hand moving to rest on Lance’s leg in encouragement. And hell if Lance’s bravado didn’t return in a second flat, his entire face lighting up like he’d already won. He hadn’t, Keith hadn’t said the words yet and Lance wasn’t going to let him get away with something indirect now.

That fucker wasn’t kidding about wanting to see Keith beg and Keith damn well knew it.

“Come on, Keith.” Lance hummed, voice low and dripping with implication, Keith gulped as Lance’s hand settled over his and pushed him just a little bit higher. His hand was resting on Lance’s upper thigh now, in the dip between where his leg met his groin. Keith stared in disbelief, his heart lodged somewhere in his throat. This wasn’t happening. Holy shit.

Lance snickered, reaching up to pat Keith on top of the head in a dog-like gesture. It had the desired effect anyway, Keith’s eyes darting back up to find Lance’s blue ones. “Tell me to stop and I will, but otherwise I’m not backing down. I know it wasn’t a damn fluke on your end either, there’s something here and we both feel it. Stop feeling guilty about it and loosen up a little, it’ll be good for you.”

“I can’t.” Keith whispered, gently tugging his hand away. Lance let him go easily, relaxing back into his seat to simply study Keith’s expression.

“But you want to?” Lance ventured, like he already knew the answer. Keith’s cheeks burned and he simply shrugged his shoulders, not trusting himself to speak. Lance grinned, completely satisfied by the not-answer. It told him all he had to know. He had a chance. It was like watching Lance flirt with an alien girl and start to make progress, except this time all of that excitement and giddiness was directed right at Keith. It was blinding.

Lance slid his chair closer to Keith’s, tapping their feet together. Keith scoffed at the stupid game of footsies Lance introduced, but he sat there and went along with it. Lance wrapped an arm around Keith’s shoulders, continuing in a singsong voice. “ _Just two dudes being dudes_...”

“I’ll think about it.” Keith said, biting back a smile. Lance grinned, pulling Keith closer into a side-hug.

“That’s all I ask.”

\--

Keith _did_ think about it, but not out of any special consideration for Lance’s sake. He just quite literally could not help himself. It seemed like every waking moment of his life now was dedicated to pondering over the possibility, his mind plagued with thoughts of Lance more than ever before. It was almost to the point of annoying, especially because he could tell that Lance knew where his thoughts were at.

Whenever they happened across each other after that conversation, Lance would suit him with this look.

It was difficult to describe because to anyone else it would just seem like a neutral sort of expression, but Keith could definitely tell he was insinuating something. There was a glint of mischief in his eyes, a slight pout to his lips just for Keith to notice, and his smiles were wider and brighter than ever before.

It was flirting, Keith was sure of it.

Or maybe Keith wasn’t sure of it and he was just being paranoid.

See, it’d gotten to the point of over thinking that he was starting to doubt himself. A few days had passed and Lance hadn’t brought up anything remotely sexual since their last conversation about it. It was almost like they were back to normal, something that Keith wasn’t sure they’d ever find again all things considered. That’s why he had to believe Lance was up to something.

He got his confirmation when he walked into the training room the next morning, dressed in athletic wear and ready to lead the team through a new drill he’d come up with. Any introduction he’d been planning on greeting everyone with was short-lived, he got the first syllable out before going quiet as a mouse.

There, on the floor just a few feet in front of him, Lance was sprawled out on a yoga mat. Keith watched in silence as he lifted his foot behind his own head with ease. He unfolded from himself, falling onto his back and lifting up into a bridge. Then, his eyes flickering to Keith’s knowingly, he sank down into the splits and held himself in that position.

God, Lance was so obscenely flexible, Keith could imagine ten different ways to take advantage of that off the top of his head. And that was exactly what Lance wanted, damn it!

“What are you doing?” Keith grit out, walking over to glare down at the scene. Lance hummed calmly, eyes fluttering open to blink innocently up at Keith.

“Stretching.” Lance answered easily, biting his lip as he eased into a downward dog type position. Keith bit his lip, pointedly looking in the other direction. “You’re going to be immobile by the time you’re fifty with the way you push your body, you should take notes.”

“You’ve never done this _before_.” Keith emphasized, making eye contact with the others where they sat on the bench. He gave them a curt nod before turning back to Lance. The other boy was looking plainly back at him, stretching out sinuously to touch his toes and past that.

“Yes I have.” Lance huffed, rolling his eyes dismissively. “You’ve just never noticed.”

“I think I would have noticed this bullshit.” Keith grumbled, low enough that no one else would overhear him. The corner of Lance’s lips curled upward tellingly, a hint of a smirk. Keith shook his head, turning away and heading over to the others. He wasn’t going to give Lance any more of the attention he was after.

The rest of the team perked up as he approached. Grinning, he clapped his hands together to add some more hype to the room. “Alright, let’s get to it. The sooner we start the sooner we can end.”

“That’s our team leader!” Pidge whooped, jumping to their feet. After that, the others were quick to follow, including Lance after he’d put his damned yoga mat away. Everyone seemed equal parts relieved and surprised by how quickly Lance and Keith had gotten over their awkwardness from a few days before, no doubt expecting them to hold grudges for far longer than that.

They worked together just as they should, soaring through training to the point that Keith felt comfortable letting them finish up early. Shiro never let them end early, or have days off, but whatever. Shiro wasn’t here to tell him how to be a leader now and as far as Keith was concerned the team was closer than ever lately.

“Good work out there today, team!” Keith beamed, waving them off as they headed out the door one by one. He planned on sticking behind to train a little longer, anything to keep his mind from thinking too much right now. Of course, in his eagerness to wrap things up, he failed to notice that one particular teammate had also lingered behind.

Keith turned around, eyes widening when he realized Lance was standing beside him.

“Cute.” Lance hummed, looking him over with a soft smile. “You’re like a little cheerleader, so peppy.”

Now that they were alone, Keith felt no need to hold back. After Lance’s antics earlier he was damn well going to exact his revenge and teach a lesson about not messing with him while other people were in the room. Keith huffed, throwing an arm around Lance’s shoulders casually.

“A cheerleader, huh? Hm, maybe I’ll wear a skirt tomorrow. A nice short one that shows off my legs, just as long as it doesn’t fly up just a little bit too high while I’m fighting...” Keith pondered, leaning in close and resting his head on Lance’s shoulder. He smirked, hearing Lance audibly gulp. “Would you like that?”

“You’re a dick.” Lance groaned.

“Stop trying to mess with me, McClain.” Keith snickered, shaking his head as he walked away. “You and I both know it’s not a good idea.”

“I don’t know, you seemed _really_ interested in my stretching techniques.” Lance argued, bouncing back easily enough and falling into step next to Keith. “I’d even go so far to say you were _enjoying the view_.”

“Enjoying the view doesn’t mean I want to fuck it and ruin one of my few good friendships.” Keith joked, playfully shoving Lance away to give himself more space to breathe. Of course, he’d only done it with the expectation that Lance would be right back at his side a second later. He immediately regretted it when Lance didn’t bounce back, instead keeping his distance.

Keith turned to look at him, worry clouding his thoughts. Had he said something wrong?

Lance met his gaze almost reluctantly, a serious look about him. Keith panicked, wondering what he could have done to warrant that. Lance was hardly ever serious, especially so suddenly after being in a casual and flirty mood.

“We wouldn’t ruin anything, it’d only be an improvement.” Lance told him then, said it like it was the most important thing in the world for him to get that across. Keith stumbled over his own feet and Lance grabbed his arm, steadying him. Keith stopped walking finally, turning to look at Lance properly.

Is that what this was? He’d taken Keith’s off-handed comment to heart?

He looked so invested, too. That had to be the worst part, Lance looked like he’d stop at nothing to prove that sex wouldn’t ruin their friendship. And as much as Keith wanted to convince himself that it was only because Lance wanted to get off, he could also see very clearly that proving this meant something to Lance on an emotional level. He seemed almost hurt that Keith didn’t think their friendship was strong enough to withstand that.

The truth was, of all the people Keith had ever known, he knew that Lance would be the easiest person to do something like this with. He was so open, understanding, flexible. He’d do whatever it took to make sure that Keith was comfortable, whether that meant calling things off or putting up with a slew of weird kinks. Keith knew that Lance would put their friendship first. He knew that, didn’t doubt it for a second.

So no, he hadn’t meant anything by the comment. That wasn’t really stopping him from saying yes like Lance seemed to think. There was nothing stopping him except for the very real feelings he harbored and the simple knowledge that they’d consume him if he let himself indulge like this.

But Lance, bless his heart, was trying so damned hard. He grabbed Keith’s hands and gave them a light squeeze, never once looking away from Keith’s wide-eyed gaze. “I promise, Keith. Nothing you could do or say would make me look at you any differently. We’d talk it out no matter what happened, and not just for the sake of Voltron, but because I care about you too much to let anything come between us.”

“I gotta shower.” Keith blurted, pushing his hair out of his face. Lance quirked a single eyebrow, an amused chuckle slipping past his lips as he watched Keith fumble for the right excuse. “Sweaty.”

“I’m not keeping you here against your will, go shower. You stink.” Lance laughed, shaking his head. Keith nodded, though he made no effort to move. Lance noticed his hesitation and quietly continued, his voice lowered to something much gentler. “Just, don’t worry about all that, okay? All that matters is whether you want to do it or not, we’ll find a way to get through anything else as a team.”

“Okay, bye.” Keith spoke so fast he felt like his tongue was tying itself in knots. He turned and slipped into the bathroom so quickly it was a wonder he didn’t slip over the wet tiles. He headed straight to his usual shower, not even bothering to check if Lance had done the same.

\--

Lance didn’t give him a moment’s reprieve after that interaction. If anything, he came on stronger than ever now that he’d seemingly put Keith’s anxieties to rest. The shit he tried was mostly harmless fun, flirting with Keith during briefings or sitting too close to him at dinner. It was nothing particularly out of the ordinary, not unless someone was paying very close attention.

Keith was paying incredibly close attention. He caught every smirk, every eyebrow waggle, every expertly-timed lip bite or hip swing.

In a moment of utter weakness, when Keith was on the verge of seeking Lance out and throwing him onto the nearest bed, he instead made a phone call. The new castle had phones that could easily reach Earth, so Keith took it upon himself to dial up his own personal self-preservation coach. The phone only rang two times before Shiro answered it, breathless like he’d ran there.

And Keith, well, he’d grinned his way through an _entirely hypothetical_ explanation of the situation he found himself in. He left out any names of course, that would just make it too obvious. Then he asked Shiro for advice. Shiro had promptly told him, in plain terms, not to fuck Lance or he would personally find a way back into space to shove a Bii Boh Bi where the sun don’t _shi shoh shine_.

With that image freshly burned into his thoughts, Keith found it a little bit easier to resist the temptation of Lance’s near-constant flirting. Well, that wasn’t exactly true because he definitely still wanted to throw Lance onto the nearest bed. He’d stopped flirting back though, so there was that!

And when Keith pulled back and stopped playing along so much, Lance took a step back accordingly as well. It was great, it was going to plan, it was exactly what Keith had been hoping for. Also, Keith hated every fucking second of it. After a week of nothing but Lance showering him in attention every second of the day, going back to anything close to normal seemed cruel.

Lance was no longer trailing along beside him all day like a lost, flirty puppy. Instead he was spending time with the others again, only offering Keith shy smiles that meant he was still open to the idea even if he wasn’t being so blunt about it all. He was so damned considerate and the realization hit Keith a little late that now he only wanted to fuck Lance more, except instead of angrily tossing him onto the bed in a fit of pent-up frustration, he was back to wanting to lovingly lay him down and worship every inch of his body for being so damned good to him.

His plan had backfired and he’d best avoid all Bii Boh Bi for the foreseeable future.

That led him to where he was now, settled on the couch for a team movie night at Allura’s request. He’d been the last to join, everyone else had already been comfortable on the couch when he’d walked into the room. He’d taken one look at the empty spot between Pidge and Hunk that he usually took, then bypassed it entirely to squeeze his ass in between Lance and the armrest.

Needless to say, the rest of the group definitely took notice of that. Despite all of Keith’s previous requests to keep things as quiet as possible, he suddenly didn’t care anymore. Lance had hardly looked at him all day long and hell if he wasn’t going through withdrawals.

More important than anyone else’s shocked reactions, however, was Lance’s. It wasn’t shock written across his face right along with everyone else, it was an unbridled amount of relief and happiness like he’d just been waiting on Keith to make the first move. It was overwhelming, staring him in the eyes so close like this and seeing all the affection that seemed to radiate off of him.

Keith squirmed around under the guise of getting comfortable, secretly grabbing Lance’s wrist and dropping his arm low around Keith’s back. It was out of sight to the others, especially with the mound of blankets that seemed to follow Lance everywhere, but it was certainly there. Keith spent the entire movie desperately aware of that warm pressure on his lower back, basking in it after going so long without Lance’s casual touch.

He was a lovesick fool, okay? At least he was self-aware.

The movie proved to be entirely uneventful, even with the subtitles that Allura had personally translated for them along the bottom of the screen. It was a thoughtful gesture, and maybe the others were more invested than Keith, but in that moment he didn’t care about the movie at all. He cared so little that he ended up sitting there with his eyes closed, fighting the urge to rest his head on Lance’s shoulder with everything he had. Though… maybe if he pretended he’d fallen asleep and was snuggling Lance unintentionally, no one would call him out on it?

Keith pretended to doze off a few times before finally giving in and letting his head drop abruptly to Lance’s shoulder. He couldn’t really tell if Lance was aware of the fact he was actually awake, but maybe that was for the best. He turned his head slightly, nuzzling “unconsciously” into the curve of Lance’s neck and inhaling deeply.

Now, Keith had failed to realize during all of his planning, that Lance’s shoulder was actually an incredibly comfortable place to rest. And he’d also forgotten just how little sleep he’d been getting lately, up late and overthinking each night. So maybe he accidentally fell asleep on Lance’s shoulder for real. Whoops.

“Keith?” Lance’s voice was so very soft, the words spoken against Keith’s temple so closely he could almost feel the trace of Lance’s lips on his skin. Keith grumbled, torn between leaning into the touch and rolling away to get some more sleep. “Come on, you gotta let me get up. I’m gonna call it a night.”

“Hm? Why?”

“Why?!” Lance hissed, suddenly loud enough to jarr Keith out of his sleepy state. Keith hissed like an irritated cat, swatting blindly at Lance as his eyes blinked slowly open. They were in the lounge. What were they doing in the- “Keith, we’re the last two people here. Everyone else already went to bed. I tried to hold out until you woke up on your own, but it’s the middle of the night. I’m exhausted.”

“Oh.” Keith breathed, reality coming back to him suddenly. He reached up to rub at his eyes, finally taking note of just how ridiculously close he’d pressed himself to Lance in his sleep. He was half in the other boy’s lap, cradled there by Lance’s arm still wrapped around his midsection. He smirked to himself, giddy in his drowsy state. “Sorry.”

“Something tells me you aren’t actually sorry at all.” Lance sighed, but he was biting back a smile of his own when Keith finally peered up at him. Keith grinned openly, wide and unashamed. He was almost glad that Lance had waited to wake him until the others were gone, it’d been so long since they were alone together.

“What gave it away?” Keith questioned, eyebrow quirked. Lance laughed, playfully shoving him out of his lap and back into the couch cushions. Keith went without much struggle, still half-asleep for the most part. Lance stood, stretching his arms high above his head and not even faltering when he noticed Keith’s dark eyes blatantly following the movement.

“I’m gonna go, are you good to get back to your room without passing out?” Lance asked, turning back to him with a concerned look. Keith shook his head dismissively.

“I’m fine, Lance.” Keith whispered, head dropping to the arm rest. He was already debating just falling asleep for the night exactly where he was. Lance lingered though, looking torn between leaving or staying as he bent over to push the rest of the blankets on top of Keith. Keith groaned. “Go to sleep.”

“Okay, okay, fine. I won’t bother you anymore. I know I’m useless when I’m not serving as the universe’s most comfortable pillow. Goodnight, sleeping beauty.” Lance sighed dramatically, turning away and heading for the door. Keith watched him go, his heart feeling light and heavy both at once. He couldn’t deny that he felt warm and content all over, laying there in a pile of blankets that smelled strongly of Lance, the feeling of Lance’s arms wrapped around him still fresh in his mind.

But the more minutes that passed by after Lance left, the more Keith had time to dwell on how alone he actually was. It wasn’t like he could make a habit of this, indulging his feelings and just clinging to Lance whenever he saw fit. Eventually he’d be found out and things would inevitably get awkward. He knew Lance didn’t feel the same, that to him this would always just be a close friendship. He was touchy feely with all of his friends, this was hardly out of the ordinary for him.

It was a whole new world for Keith though, who never dared to let his guard down around other people no matter who they were. He felt vulnerable and dependent, two things he hated to be.

Eventually, Keith realized he wouldn’t be effortlessly drifting back to sleep in the lounge. If he was going to spend the whole night awake overthinking, he might as well do it in the comfort of his own room. He got up to head there, pausing when his gaze landed on the coffee table. Someone had left their phone there. That was odd, considering they knew to have it on them at all times.

He picked it up, curiously flipping it over. Sure enough, it was the same shade of blue as Lance’s paladin uniform. Pidge had built them each one of these communicators months ago, a way to communicate across long or short distances no matter whether they had their helmets on. They weren’t supposed to ever let them out of their sight in case of an emergency.

Keith bit his lip, powering it on curiously. Where his phone would have lit up with a place to enter a passcode, Lance’s immediately unlocked and opened up to the page he’d last been on. The photo gallery.

The photo gallery filled with photos of _Lance_. More specifically, Lance’s barely covered body in what looked like a cheap sexy mockery of a Halloween costume with all the golden jewelry and lace. Maybe it wasn’t a costume, it could have been genuine lingerie meant for another species.

Keith felt his face heat up in embarrassment, tossing the phone back into the blankets. There was no way that’d just happened. Surely Lance wasn’t such an idiot he’d take an album’s worth of tasteful nudes and then leave his phone sitting around without so much as a password on it. Sure, the rest of the team made frequent jokes about Lance’s absent-mindedness but that was just next level. That was so stupid it was hard to believe… _really_ hard to believe, actually.

Keith picked the phone back up, his hands shaking as he unlocked it again. He opened the first of many photos almost reluctantly, no matter how the desire was pooling in the pit of his stomach. He wasn’t some desperate creep, the last thing he’d want to do was invade Lance’s privacy. It was with a mixture of guilt and shameful arousal that he flipped through the first few photos.

Lance looked in his element, spread obscenely across the bed, tan skin wrapped in a deep crimson lace that had Keith’s heart doing all sorts of funny things. Lance’s hair was a perfect mess, his eyes dark with obvious lust, his lips upturned into the most plainest of smug smirks. Keith had seen that look directed at him a thousand times, but never like this.

He blushed fervently as he continued to scroll through one photo after another. There had to have been at least twenty or more, all different positions and expressions. In more than one photo, the outline of Lance’s arousal could be seen through the lace of the underwear he was wearing. And if that wasn’t a sight that Keith would never get out of his mind again, then what was? Suddenly the imagery of Shiro’s Bii Boh Bi threat had absolutely nothing on the desire burning hot in Keith’s veins.

Keith felt hot and uncomfortable in his loose pajama pants and shirt all of the sudden. He knew he was starting to get genuinely affected by it and he was on the verge of putting the phone down—he really honestly was!—but then he saw the last of what was probably fifty photos worth of obnoxiously staged sexy photos.

For the most part it was no different than the others. Lance was kneeling on his bed, legs spread far apart and hand dipped between them to cover what would otherwise be a downright lewd display with how small and cheap the panties he was wearing were. That wasn’t what made Keith’s breath catch in his throat, his entire body go tense with realization.

That was _his_ jacket hanging off of Lance’s bare shoulders.

Suddenly Keith knew without a shred of doubt that Lance had fucking done this intentionally, waited around until after everyone else had left to leave his unlocked phone next to Keith like the devious sex demon he surely was. Keith groaned, scrubbing his free hand over his face, willing the photo in front of him to just disappear. It didn’t, his hand fell back to his lap and he was left staring at it again.

Lance looked so infuriatingly good in that jacket, the cocky expression he wore meant he damn well knew it too. How he’d even gotten ahold of it was a mystery to Keith. With his Galra growth spurt it hadn’t fit him nearly as well once he got back from the space whale, so most days it was shoved into the back of his closet to be ignored. Yet here Lance was, sat there wrapped up in that jacket in the room next to Keith.

God, had Keith been next door while Lance was rolling around his bed taking all of these pictures? Fuck.

His hand pushed down on the bulge between his legs, a low hiss of air slipping past his teeth. He wrenched his hand away and clumsily got to his feet, nearly tripping over the blankets in his haste to escape. He wasn’t exactly sure what Lance’s intentions had been in giving him access to all of this, but no way was he going to sit here and get off to them. He was _not_ that desperate.

Halfway back to his room with Lance’s phone in hand, he’d started to debate if just maybe he actually _was_ that desperate.

Keith held onto his pride though, bypassing his own bedroom to stand in front of Lance’s door and pound his fist against it. He didn’t care if he woke anyone else up, he needed to confront Lance about this now and no later. He stood there expectantly, hands on his hips. It hardly took ten seconds for the door to slide open, meaning Lance had been sitting there waiting for him to show up.

Lance, in his defense, at least had the decency to look innocent. He was wearing low-hanging sleep pants and nothing else, the fabric covered in an obnoxious pattern of the lions. No doubt something a fan had given him at one of the coalition events. Keith rolled his eyes, letting out a huff of exasperated fondness.

Lance stared back at him, beginning to fidget nervously.

“Something wrong?”

“This is yours.” Keith stated plainly, shoving the phone into Lance’s chest. He fumbled before managing to take it from Keith’s grip, staring down at it in confusion. Slowly, the situation seemed to dawn on him bit by bit. He glanced up from the screen, eyes trailing down Keith’s body and landing just below the waist. Keith grumbled, tugging his shirt down further.

Lance grinned, his confidence returning all at once.

“Oh, thanks! I was wondering where I put that.” Lance hummed, tossing it haphazardly onto his bed and turning back to Keith. He stepped closer, his voice dropping an octave lower. “I’ve got some really private stuff on there, wouldn’t want it getting into the wrong hands.”

“You should put a passcode on it, then.”

“Good thinking, Keith.” Lance praised, a self-satisfied smile stretching out lazily across his face. He winked at Keith, reaching out to readjust the collar of his shirt. He slapped Keith lightly on the side of the face and Keith stood there and fought the urge to pounce. “Brains and brawn, this one.”

“Can I have my jacket back?” Keith grit out, trying desperately to sound annoyed. Lance’s face fell, a flash of genuine disappointment on his features. Keith hated how that made him feel. Still, he swallowed down the urge to go back on his word as Lance turned away and headed over to his closet.

“You don’t even wear it anymore, it seems like such a waste. At least it fits me.” Lance grumbled as he dug through his wardrobe, finally coming back with Keith’s jacket in hand. Keith held his hand out expectantly, his fingers curling into a fist as he watched Lance spin around in front of him and slip the jacket onto his bare torso. “It fits me well, don’t you think?”

“Looks great. Now give it back.” Keith managed through clenched teeth. Lance quirked an eyebrow at him, gently slipping it off and handing it over. He looked like he was expecting Keith to leave then, and maybe that had been Keith’s original plan, but now he felt compelled to say more.

He took a deep breath, pushing his hair back from his face. He needed to come up with another excuse and fast, lest Lance go on like he had been. Keith could physically feel the willpower slipping through his fingers as the seconds ticked by. “I’m your leader, Lance, do you not understand how wrong it would be for us to bring sex into those roles?”

“Co-leader.” Lance corrected immediately, his voice blatantly annoyed. “You’ve told me a thousand times over that you couldn’t do it without me, that we’re partners. _Equals_.”

“Maybe I was just saying that to make you feel better about being bested by your rival.” Keith suggested desperately, regretting it quickly when Lance took a determined step forward and closed into Keith’s personal space. Keith’s back collided with the door frame and he winced.

“Or maybe you have less reason not to do this than you think you do and it’s only a matter of time before your resolve cracks.” Lance growled, jabbing a finger into the center of Keith’s chest. When Keith simply stood there dazedly and made no effort to put space back between them, Lance’s single finger turned into his entire hand splayed across Keith’s chest. It wasn’t angry now though, it was soft and caressing, exploring the divots of Keith’s muscles. “You want this too, Keith. I wouldn’t push you like this if I didn’t know that. Live a little, let yourself indulge.”

Keith squeezed his eyes shut, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. He focused on Lance’s touch, light and tentative, waiting for the moment Keith would shove him away. When he didn’t, Lance grew slowly more confident, until he was rubbing and tweaking Keith’s nipples through his shirt. Just a smidgen of the touch that Keith was so needy for.

Damn it, it was getting harder and harder to reason with himself that giving in wasn’t a good idea. Who cared if he got his heart broken, he was bound to either way when Lance finally found someone he was serious about. The only thing that kept him from giving in right then and there was the thought of Lance settling down with someone else. He couldn’t do this, couldn’t learn what it was like to finally have Lance only to know the whole time that it wasn’t permanent. It wouldn’t be real.

He’d be another notch in Lance’s bedpost and Lance would continue to be his whole world. It wasn’t fair.

“Lance?” Keith managed, his voice cracking pathetically. Lance hummed, switching to running his hands up and down Keith’s sides, firm and grounding. Keith cracked open one of his eyes, noticing the way Lance was staring at his body with hunger written across his features. God, it was so hot.

“Yeah, sweetheart?” Lance whispered back, looking up and meeting Keith’s gaze. He smiled gently, hand sliding around Keith’s side and downward. Keith all but yelped when Lance groped his ass, pulling their bodies closer together. “You wanna do this?”

In hindsight, maybe showing up at Lance’s door in the middle of the night with an obvious erection straining against his sweatpants wasn’t Keith’s smartest move, especially if this wasn’t the path he’d planned on the night taking.

“You can keep the jacket.” Keith stuttered out, shoving Lance backward a step. He scrambled to turn around, wrenching the door open and stumbling out into the hallway. He turned to leave, catching a glimpse of Lance’s dumbfounded face and cringing inwardly. “Goodnight!”

Then he was gone, nearly tripping over himself in the few short steps it took to get back to his own bedroom door. Lance stood in the hallway, staring after him in exasperation.

“Keith!” Keith dutifully ignored him, disappearing into his own room.

It was hard to believe how out of his element Lance had been when this sexual attraction to Keith first started developing. Keith could still remember him that night in the kitchen, reeking of arousal and guilt after kissing Keith in the black lion. He’d looked so ashamed, so uncertain of where to go from there. Now that he knew what he wanted there was no stopping him.

Despite all the resentment he’d felt toward them over the years, suddenly Keith understood all of the aliens who’d dropped their pants for Lance the first time he so much as spared them a glance. When Lance had his sights on you it was impossible to do anything but give in, caught in the eye of the sniper and knowing full well that he knew exactly what he was doing. He was confident and compelling, the perfect mix between sexy and goofy, endearing no matter what your tastes were.

Thinking back on all of the rejections Lance had received over the years, Keith felt more resentment toward them. How could they look at all that Lance had to offer and turn away?

Keith fell into his bed, burying his face into the pillow and preparing to pass out just like that. He was determined not to think anymore tonight, and he definitely wasn’t about to make a fool out of himself and get off, not when Lance knew he was all worked up. It would be too embarrassing. Knowing Lance he’d probably barge into his room in the middle of it.

Keith was mostly asleep when his phone buzzed on the nightstand. He picked it up, blearily staring at the screen until he could make out the text he’d received.

**From: Lance**

**Keith. If your answer is a no just tell me.**

Keith groaned aloud, before remembering that Lance might be able to hear him through their shared wall. He rolled over onto his back, quickly typing out an actual response.

**To: Lance**

**I’m still thinking. It’s not a no. Yet.**

Keith tossed his phone into the blankets, secretly hoping that maybe Lance would just drop the subject and let him live. He wasn’t nearly as tired now though,  adrenaline coursing through him the more he thought about what’d just happened. It was too late to fall asleep and forget it all now, he could almost feel Lance’s hands on him.

He jumped to grab his phone when it buzzed again, but paused before unlocking it. The lock screen was lit up with the new text before he’d even opened it. He blinked.

**From: Lance**

**Maybe this will help you reach a conclusion? ;)**

Keith nearly choked on his own saliva, an unsteady wheeze leaving his lips as he attempted to inhale around the sudden lump in his throat. He stared at the little symbol that notified him of an image attachment, mind already running wild with what it could be. One of the photos from before? Something even more risqué?

He held his breath, tentatively opening it.

The photo was of Lance, but it was far from the same sexual ones from before. Instead he was snuggled up in bed, still wearing Keith’s jacket, a shark plushie clutched to his chest, grinning like a damn fool. In bold print he’d written across the selfie “BET YOU THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE MY DICK LOL”.

Keith slapped a hand to his face.

It was worse than a dick pic, so much worse. Even with the obnoxious text written across it, it was the cutest thing Keith had ever seen. A wave of affection so strong it was staggering washed over him, warm and traitorous and so natural it was impossible to fight it. His feelings for Lance were getting stronger than ever, which was hardly a good start for a no-feelings-involved relationship.

**To: Lance**

**Fuck you.**

Lance’s reply came almost instantly this time.

**From: Lance**

**Literally name a time and place, I’m down. Absolutely fuck me.**

Keith threw his boot at the wall between their rooms, hoping Lance got the memo. The resounding cackle from Lance’s room made it very clear he hadn’t.

\--

The next morning Keith went about his usual schedule despite staying up into the late hours of the night to text Lance and hardly getting any sleep. After the initial conversation starter, it drifted away from sex entirely, back to the kind of nonsense late night talks they usually had in person. And it was nice. Keith would do it again tonight even if it meant exhausting himself all over again.

Anyway, the point was he was up at his usual ungodly early hour to train before anyone else in the castle even woke up. It went well, even if he couldn’t really concentrate in his tired state and the only recurring thought in his head was about Lance’s soft sleepy smile the night before in that photo. Keith had saved it and made it his home screen, but luckily he actually kept a password on his phone so no one would ever see it.

After training he headed off to the showers and stumbled into his usual stall, bone-tired to the point that he ended up trying to use toothpaste as shampoo. That was a mistake he was thoroughly relieved he’d caught onto before making. Lance was mean enough about how Keith brushed his teeth in the shower to conserve time, Keith didn’t wanna give him anymore excuses to make fun of him for it.

He was nearly done with his shower when the door to the room swung open and crashed back shut. He ignored it, it wasn’t entirely rare for one of the others to wake up earlier than usual and head straight to the showers. Everyone had their own respective corner of the room so it was hardly Keith’s problem.

That is, until he heard someone turn on the shower directly next to his.

He perked up immediately, his tired state forgotten in favor of turning to the utter privacy invader. He wasn’t actually all that surprised to see Lance in the stall next to him, only visible from the shoulders up with the wall that separated them. Keith narrowed his eyes into a glare as he watched Lance go about starting his routine, like it was perfectly normal to shower next to Keith now.

“Are you serious? Again? Don’t tell me you’re gonna make a habit of annoying me in the shower, this is supposed to be my relaxation time.”

“We have like twenty showers here, it makes sense to utilize all of them from time to time to make sure they’re all working.” Lance answered without so much as a flinch or a glance in Keith’s direction, no doubt expecting that exact outburst. Keith groaned, turning around and angrily grabbing the shampoo, deciding to just rush his shower along and get out of there. “You look really cute when your hair’s wet.”

Keith froze, shampoo bottle in hand. He turned ever so slowly, to where Lance was resting with his arms folded on the divider between their showers, chin resting on top of them as he lazily stared in Keith’s direction. In his defense, he was dutifully keeping his eyes on Keith’s face, but that didn’t matter!

At Keith’s mortified expression, he let out a chuckle and stuck his tongue out, eyes filled with mirth.

“Stop looking at me showering, you pervert!” Keith hissed, squirting shampoo into Lance’s mouth. The responsive gag of disgust might have been funny if Keith wasn’t watching Lance’s eyes fill with tears of disgust. He coughed and hacked, stumbling back into his own respective shower.

“Gross!” Lance whined, doubling over. He was out of Keith’s sight now. Keith inched closer to the divider, telling himself it was only because he was worried about Lance’s well-being. No sooner had he started to peek over than did Lance spring back up, holding up his hands in an unspoken truce. Keith stumbled away to put space between them as Lance blinked his eyes open again. “Fine, fine. I’m sorry.”

“You’d better be.” Keith huffed petulantly, scrubbing the shampoo through his hair. “And no more showering next to me, you hear me!?”

“Fine, fine. I’ll let you have your relaxation time from now on, _clearly_ you need it.” Lance grumbled, spitting down the shower drain to get the last of the soap out of his mouth. Deciding that that was as close to an apology he was going to get, Keith went back to showering again. He was rinsing his hair out when he heard it.

The wet squelch that came from Lance’s direction, over and over again, a steady rhythm.

Keith went rigid, eyes wide as saucers as he turned in Lance’s direction. He was relieved to see that Lance wasn’t staring at him, but the relief was short-lived when he took note of how closely Lance was staring downward. If Keith focused really hard, he could see Lance’s shoulder moving back and forth in little aborted movements, no doubt trying to be discreet.

Keith gave a choked noise, a whirlwind of emotions blowing through him. He turned away, staring dismally at the tiled wall in front of him and wondering what he was even meant to do in this situation.

It got to the point that Keith couldn’t bite his tongue any longer. He was so distracted he couldn’t even finish his shower and get the hell out of there, he was just standing there in shock and listening to that disgusting slick noise coming from Lance’s stall.

“Lance, are you serious?” He spoke evenly, his voice uncertain. He was unfairly embarrassed by the whole ordeal, while Lance stood there taking care of business without a care in the world. Did he do this every time he took a shower? Oh god, how many times had Keith been peacefully showering in a state of oblivion while Lance was getting off in the same room?!

“What?” Lance asked, his voice deeper than usual. Keith gulped.

“You’re really? Um, right now? Next to me?”

“If you have something to say then spit it out.” Lance bit out, short and impatient, no doubt eager to get back to what he was doing. Keith worried his bottom lip between his teeth, wondering if maybe he should just count his blessings and get out of there while he still could. He did not want to hear the sounds Lance made when he came, see his face scrunch up in pleasure. He’d never be able to say no to this whole friends with benefits thing if he knew that kind of information.

“Lance, this is too much even for you. My answer isn’t a no, but you need to tone this pervy shit down.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Lance hissed out, growing irritated now. Keith glared right back at him, rising to the fight. He was not gonna get away with playing innocent after such a creep move, no way.

“You can’t just stand next to me and… t-touch yourself!” Keith snapped, his face on fire. Lance paused, a little grin worming its way across his face. Keith ignored it in favor of shooting daggers his way. He was not gonna let Lance brush this one off. He took a deep breath, prepared to curse the other boy out further, when Lance’s hands abruptly both flew up into view.

“Actually, I was sudsing up my loofah.” Lance beamed, bursting into laughter. Keith blinked, his eye twitching. Lance was in fact holding a bright purple loofah, covered in blue soap suds like he’d been scrubbing them in for a while. Keith exhaled a sigh of relief.

Lance was still giggling like a fool, in a way that meant he’d really had no intention of messing with Keith this time around. He was clutching onto the divider for support, nearly falling over with how slippery his hand was and how hard he was shaking with laughter. Keith let out a few chuckles himself at the sheer ludicrosity of the situation, before quickly breaking down into a similar messy state.

“You’re-” Keith gasped, struggling to breathe as he clutched his chest. “You’re the biggest idiot I’ve ever met, McClain!”

“I can’t believe you thought I would just start jerking it at a time like this!”

“I don’t know! I thought it was part of your shower routine!”

“It’s absolutely not, this is a communal shower! What kind of depraved being do you think I am?!”

“You’re such a— _hiccup!_ —dumbass!”  Keith shouted back, his hand slipping on the divider and bumping into Lance’s. Lance was still out of commission, uncontrollably laughing, but damn if his hand didn’t immediately latch onto Keith’s and hold on. Keith slowly calmed down enough to stop laughing, instead just wearing a smile so wide his cheeks ached as he watched Lance struggle to compose himself.

“You really thought-”

“Yes, I did!” Keith huffed, still flushed with embarrassment. Lance reached up with his free hand, wiping actual tears from his eyes. His other hand still held on tightly to Keith’s own, even as he turned to make eye contact for the first time since the whole ordeal had unfolded.

They stared at each other for a long moment, even as water fell in harsh droplets across their faces. They stared until the wide smiles slowly disappeared from their faces, leaving in their wake something much smaller and softer, personable. Lance stepped closer and Keith mirrored him, until they were practically pressed to either side of the divider.

“Is this okay?” Lance whispered, reaching out to tuck Keith’s soaked hair behind his ear. Keith nodded his head, grabbily getting ahold of Lance’s shoulders and yanking him closer. Their lips collided with a clumsy amount of force, the both of them beyond impatient after dancing around each other for so long. The shared heat of the showers and their skin made for something desperate, the both of them clinging to each other as Keith quickly led the kiss into something deeper.

Lance was almost adorably pliant the moment Keith deepened the kiss, clearly nervous now that they were actually getting somewhere. Keith had imagined exactly how this would go enough times that it hardly caught him off-guard. He just wanted to make the most of the moment while it lasted, hands running over every bit of Lance he could casually reach, savoring every noise his touch pulled out of the other boy. Out of his element or not, Lance was definitely responsive and enjoying himself.

The pleased little noises Lance was making in the back of his throat, the way his fingers would tighten around Keith’s hair whenever he did something particularly good, even the way he subconsciously leaned into Keith’s palm when Keith gripped his face. It was too much. Everything Keith had wanted for so long and at the same time not.

Eventually, the barrier between them grew frustrating as Keith knocked his elbows against it and Lance struggled to stay on his tippy-toes leaning over it. Keith pulled away just barely, their lips still brushing and their faces still close enough that Keith could count the water droplets resting heavy in Lance’s beautiful long eyelashes.

Keith was breathless and on the verge of suggesting something he might regret, the thought of them both piling into one stall and resuming where they’d left off oh so tempting.

He didn’t get a chance to get a word in edgewise before the door swung open again. Keith practically vaulted himself away from Lance, knocking his elbow in three different places as he collided with the other side of the shower stall. Lance yelped, rubbing his bottom lip where Keith’s sharp teeth had nipped it in the rush to get away.

They both turned in unison to watch as Hunk walked lazily into the room, still more or less asleep. He was humming to himself, pulling his shirt over his head. He was about to drop his pajamas when he seemed to notice the sound of the other showers. He glanced dismissively in their direction only to look away again, and then look back with eyes wide awake.

“Um…”

“Hunk! What’s up?” Lance grinned, trying his best to appear casual. Keith glanced to the side, studying the way Lance was leaning against the divider now, arm propped up and torso stretched out. Keith quickly looked away, wearing what was no doubt a hand-caught-in-the-cookie-jar expression as he met Hunk’s confused gaze.

Hunk hesitated, eyes flitting back and forth between the two of them.

“Why are you guys showering side-by-side? Isn’t that kinda awkward?”

“Nah, just bros being bros. What’s a dick glimpse between friends?” Lance said, dismissively waving his hand through the air. Keith’s eyes widened, turning to Lance in shock.

“You saw my dick?”

“I mean, _no_ , but if I had it wouldn’t be a big deal because we’re such good _friends_.” Lance insisted through his teeth, staring pointedly at Keith. It dawned on Keith then that he was trying to play this off as some sort of friendly banter, but it was very clear to all three of them that this wasn’t the norm.

Hunk didn’t look convinced either. He eyed them closely, purposely not taking his pants off as he strode over to his usual shower stall, like he was wary of undressing in front of them now. Lance’s eerily toothy smile didn’t falter for a second until Hunk finally got into his own shower and turned his back to them.

Keith left the showers that second, not wanting to risk another second of unbearably awkward conversation.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This whole chapter is just Lance being a Fuck and I love it. Keith does too, no matter how he tries to deny it.
> 
> I've been super busy lately so the updating schedule has been a bit Wack, but I'm hoping to post the next chapter later tonight as long as I remember to. Thanks for reading, leave some tasty comments.
> 
> https://twitter.com/MelancholyMango  
> http://melancholymango.tumblr.com  
> http://miscreantmango.tumblr.com (nsfw)  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zXKtfKnfT8


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The long-awaited chapter where they finally fuckin bone each other already. Smut ahoy, laddies.

 

That night Keith was getting ready to climb into bed when a soft knock sounded on his door. He knew it was Lance, no one else would come around this late at night to bother him unless it was urgent. That was far from a urgent knock, it was soft and tentative, giving Keith plenty of room to ignore it if he so chose.

“Come in.” Keith called, sitting on the edge of his bed. The doors slid open and Lance walked in, still wearing his day clothes. Almost immediately Keith knew something was up. Lance looked anxious and uncomfortable, a tiredness about him that suggested he’d been thinking harder than Keith had all day long. Keith swallowed harshly. “Is something wrong?”

“I don’t know.” Lance mumbled, sitting down next to Keith. He brought his knees up, resting his chin on them and pouting pensively. Keith stared openly at him, searching for any kind of clue as to what was going on here. Lance refused to look at him even when he finally spoke. “I just… miss you.”

“What? Why?” Keith asked, a breathless chuckle leaving his lips. It didn’t lighten the mood like he’d hoped. Lance simply shrugged his shoulders, looking close to tears. Clearly Lance didn’t think it was at all laughable to miss someone even as he sat right next to them. Keith frowned, recognizing the hurt in Lance’s eyes from other nights they’d spent like this, talking about his insecurities. “Lance, talk to me.”

Lance drew in a stuttery breath, clearly struggling to find words.

“Are you sure we’re okay? I feel like you’re constantly running away.” Lance continued quickly, like he had to say it fast or risk not being able to say it at all. 

Keith bit down on the inside of his cheek, seeing how lost and vulnerable Lance looked and knowing now that he’d played a part in it. How long had he been playing up Lance’s insecurities by not giving him an actual answer? Sometimes it was hard to remember that Lance’s overwhelming confidence did have limits, that more often than not it was only an act.

“What brought this on?”

“I don’t know, laughing with you today in the shower was really nice. It was fun. It made me realize how tense things have been. I just don’t think this is healthy. Clearly you aren’t comfortable with-”

“I’m comfortable.” Keith insisted, his patience growing thin. Lance was off on a tangent now though, worriedly rambling along.

“You’re sure? We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, you know that, right? You just haven’t said no, but I realize that’s not the same thing as saying yes. I’m gonna tone it back. I’m sorry if I hurt you or pressured you. Your friendship is way more important to me than-”

“Don’t you dare blame yourself for this. I kissed you just as much as you kissed me.” Keith blurted, a hint of self-directed annoyance in his voice. Lance stared at him, slowly blinking a few times to catch up with what’d just happened. Keith was avoiding his gaze, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. “This... isn’t as one-sided as you seem to think it is.” 

Lance simply stared for a long moment, closely studying Keith’s expression as if to determine whether he was being honest or not. Finally, his legs slid down, hanging over the edge of the bed in a much less guarded position. He reached over, hesitantly settling a hand on Keith’s thigh. Light and uncertain, but clear with implication. 

“Then why the hell do we have clothes on right now?” Lance laughed, clearly still struggling to make sense of the situation. In his defense, Keith’s emotions were a raging storm inside his chest, he couldn’t hope for anyone else to decipher them. Lance was doing his damned best though.

He slid closer, until he was pressed close to Keith’s side and could run his hand over Keith’s inner thigh, slow and appreciative. “You want me?”

“Yeah.” Keith breathed, hips stuttering on their own accord whenever Lance’s hand would travel just a little bit too far. He grabbed Lance’s hand then, shoving it back into its owners lap with a begrudging grumble. He turned away, running his hands through his hair stressfully. They were so close, all he had to do was say yes and everything would change. “Fuck, Lance, of course I want you. That’s just not  _ enough _ .”

Keith was scared of change. Terrified that if they took this plunge they’d never be able to go back to where they were before. What if he didn’t like where they ended up?

“So… you can’t?”

“I can’t.” Keith confirmed, biting down on his tongue afterward to keep from saying anything else. He could see the disappointment flickering across Lance’s face and it was awful. It hit him like a punch to the gut. Who did he think he was trying to pretend this wasn’t worth the risk and the inevitable hurt it’d bring? He was already regretting his answer.

Lance seemed to reach a conclusion then. He got to his feet, brushing himself off and turning to offer Keith a dazzling smile. Keith leaned forward subconsciously, desperate to feel Lance’s hands on him again already, bask in the closeness that came with it.

“I don’t understand, but I won’t question it.” Lance said, shoving his hands into his pockets. He looked so kind and understanding, just like always. Even after Keith had hurt him by being so indirect and difficult to communicate with, Lance was a reliable open book. Keith silently cursed himself, looking down at his feet. 

He wasn’t even sure anymore if what he was doing was for the best. He’d gotten his hopes up for a second there and really that was all it took to make it hurt, it didn’t matter whether he went through with it or not.

“Thank-you.”

“So, this is the official no? Should I go?” Lance cleared his throat awkwardly, jerking his thumb over his shoulder toward the door. Keith jerked his head back up, eyes wide. Lance must have seen the uneasiness there, because he was quick to backtrack. “You don’t have to feel bad, Keith, I can take a rejection. If you want we can go back to pretending it never happened the second I leave this room, but at least we know where we both stand now.”

“Don’t go.” Keith said hurriedly, before he’d even fully thought it through. Lance lifted his eyebrows, but took a cautious step back toward the bed. Keith patted the mattress beside himself, letting out a sigh of relief when Lance settled back down there. “Um, do you wanna watch a dumb Altean movie?”

“I’d like that.” Lance grinned, kicking his shoes off. Keith went about setting up the projector then, sifting through the piles of old films Coran had unearthed from the castle’s storage during his recent cleaning frenzy. The paladins had taken to watching through them without even bothering to wait for subtitles, mostly to make fun of the exaggerated acting and strange settings. Even Allura got a kick out of it.

Keith grabbed the first one that didn’t look like a documentary and plopped it in, walking back over to sit next to Lance. They leaned back against the wall, settled side by side on Keith’s mattress. The room was dark and the screen illuminated Lance’s face perfectly, not that Keith would know because he definitely wasn’t sneaking glances every few seconds.

He couldn’t help it. The reality of his decision was setting in and all he could think about was what he’d turned down. Lance looked so beautiful, sitting there as emotions flickered across his face in reaction to the movie. Keith knew now that it didn’t matter, he could have said yes or no and it would have hurt just the same in the end when he realized Lance wasn’t his to keep. By saying no he’d only sped up the process. It hurt how badly he wanted there to be another option, for Lance to feel the same.

His heart felt so heavy, so much heavier than his chest was meant to hold.

There was a plead on the tip of his tongue, ready to fly out if he so much as opened his mouth. He wanted to beg Lance to feel the same, to give them a try. Pathetic and demeaning as it would be, he didn’t know what else to do anymore. He’d try anything to make Lance fall in love with him.

“Psst, are you paying any attention?” Lance whispered, reaching over and playfully slapping Keith on the arm. He blinked, wrenching his eyes away from Lance and back to the screen. That time in particular he’d been staring long enough that he’d completely lost track of what was happening in the movie.

“Um, yeah, why?” Keith huffed, blowing air out past his lips. He focused on the screen and immediately regretted it, choking around a disgusted noise. “Is this a _ sex scene _ ?”

“The entire movie has been sex scenes.” Lance informed him around a giggle, expectantly elbowing Keith in the side. Keith shifted, utterly confused how Lance was being so casual about this. There were tentacle dicks on screen. Tentacles! He was pretty sure this warranted at least a little bit of awkwardness, even if you were Lance the loverboy himself.

“Lance, how long have you been sitting here watching this with a straight face?”

“I don’t know! I couldn’t let you have your way, I had to _ pretend _ I was unbothered.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Come on, no way. Are you trying to tell me you  _ didn’t  _ choose this on purpose to get back at me for all the flirting? I might have to cry laughing if this is a happy accident.” Lance looked at him, eyebrows steadily climbing toward his hairline as he took in Keith’s flustered expression. He was sure it was obvious too, the blushing cheeks and wide eyes, how he was desperately avoiding looking in the direction of the screen. Lance had the fucking gall to laugh in his face.

“I honestly had no idea.” Keith groaned, burying his face in the blankets as exaggerated moans started to pour through the speakers. How hadn’t he noticed this was going on in the background?! Was he really that invested in staring at Lance?! Jesus. “This is  _ mortifying _ .”

“You mean to tell me, of all the movies you could have picked,” Lance sputtered, breaking down into another fit of laughter. Keith covered his ears, only relenting when Lance physically pried his hand away with force. “Keith, I’m pretty sure this is an actual porno, there’s been more sex scenes than plot.”

“Well, I didn’t know! I can’t read Altean!” Keith hissed, swatting at him.

“Calm down, it’s fine. We can watch something else.” Lance promised hurriedly, bouncing back into Keith’s space mere seconds after being pushed away. He settled his hand on Keith’s arm, fingertips tiptoeing across his bare skin. “That is, if you  _ want _ to.”

“ _ Lance _ !” 

“Fine, fine, I’m turning it off. It wasn’t doing anything for me either.” Lance laughed, quickly dodging out of Keith’s reach before he ended up being smacked. He crossed the room quickly and shut it off, turning around to continue wearing that shit-eating grin at Keith’s expense. “Aw, look at you, so blushy.”

“Fuck off.” Keith glared at him, sinking down the wall until he was lying stretched out on the mattress, legs hanging over the edge. Lance fell onto the bed beside him, snatching a pillow from Keith’s pile and propping it under his head. 

Keith was blatantly aware of Lance’s eyes on him, the other boy lying on his side and just silently staring. He was hardly in a place to call it out though, lest Lance double back to how Keith had sat through the entire beginning of that movie unaware because he was so invested in his own admiring.

“You get flustered over the stupidest things.” Lance said finally, reaching over to push Keith’s hair back from his face. Keith expected him to stop there, but instead Lance continued to run his fingers through the thick black trusses of Keith’s locks, scratching as his scalp. Keith hummed, eyes fluttering shut as he basked in the attention. “You’re cool with pinning me against a wall, but this was too much?”

“That’s impulse, it’s different.” Keith grumbled, cracking an eye open to stare curiously back at Lance. It’d seemed like a throwaway topic at first, something that Lance wasn’t really all that invested in. The way Lance had continued to pry said something else. “I don’t like things I have to put thought into.”

“Hm.” Lance hummed, his foot kicking Keith’s. “Isn’t it boring being so straight to the point about it?”

“It’s not something I do for  _ fun _ , it’s-”

“Stress relief, right.” Lance cut him off in an unimpressed deadpan. Keith huffed, rolling over onto his back and pointedly not looking back in Lance’s direction. “You know what I think? You could benefit from taking it slow every once in a while. You might realize that that’s actually better for taking care of stress than getting all hot and heavy right away.”

“Don’t mock me.”

“All I’m saying is that you could learn as much from me as I could possibly learn from you.” Lance said, shrugging nonchalantly. Keith tried his best to keep starting dutifully toward the ceiling, but he couldn’t fight himself for long. Eventually his eyes darted in Lance’s direction, to where the other boy had comfortably folded his arms under his head, eyes closed like he had every intention of falling asleep right where he was. 

“Are we still on that?”

“What?”

“Us? Fucking?” Keith tried, straight to the point just like Lance had said. Lance snorted at the blunt phrasing, propping himself up on an elbow to properly invest in the conversation.

“I told you that we’d start pretending it’d never happened once I left the room, I haven’t left yet.” 

“I guess you’re right.” Keith mused, deciding to say to hell with it and play into whatever game Lance was trying for here. It didn’t matter anymore, Keith didn’t know what was the best decision, all he knew was what he wanted. What he wanted was currently sprawled out in his bed, talking about the two of them together like it was perfectly normal. “Well, for the record, with how excruciating the wait has been I’m pretty sure we’d go at it hot and heavy too.”

“Well, yeah, at first.” Lance scoffed, shifting closer. Keith tensed as Lance tangled their legs together, hand settling heavy in the center of Keith’s chest. “By the second or third time I’d convince you to slow your row a little bit.”

“You’ve put a lot of thought into this.” Keith observed pointedly, turning suddenly to face Lance. Their faces just inches apart, Keith could see the poorly-masked heat in Lance’s gaze. For a brief moment Keith wondered if maybe he’d actually found that terribly filmed porn intriguing, but then Lance was leaning further into his space and it was clear that this was what he’d came here for. Underneath all the uncertainty and anxiety, Lance knew what he wanted just as plainly as Keith did.

Keith gulped.

“Haven’t you?” Lance questioned, licking his lips. Keith nodded, mesmerized as he stared at Lance, the natural pull between them urging him to throw caution to the wind and just meet him halfway. Keith leaned in to kiss him just as Lance leaned away, a smug look on his face. “Zero in on what you want and go after it. You told me that.”

“I did.” Keith all but growled out, patience already running thin. He reached over and grabbed at Lance’s hips, pulling him closer and closer until Lance had no choice but to swing a leg over and settle in Keith’s lap. Keith dropped his head back against the pillow and stared up at him, admiring the sight of the other boy on top of him. 

Lance reached behind his head and pulled his shirt off, clearly enjoying the attention.

“You’re pretty shit at following your own advice, huh?” Lance continued, his voice smooth and low, laced with implication. He reached down, toying with the buckle of his belt. Keith grit his teeth together until he couldn’t take it anymore. He swatted Lance’s hands away and ripped the belt free from the loops of his pants seconds later. 

Keith immediately went to continue, struggling to unbutton Lance’s jeans and get him naked, but Lance had other plans. He hummed in warning, grasping Keith’s hands and pinning them above his head. Then he leaned in close, hot breath fanning over Keith’s lips. “I think I’m getting the hang of it myself. I found my target and  _ you know _ they don’t call me the sharpshooter for nothing.”

“Don’t tease.” Keith’s voice was a mixture of a plead and a command, but Lance didn’t relent. He simply sat there, half-dressed with dark eyes roaming Keith’s disheveled appearance beneath him, keeping Keith pinned where he was. Keith grew quickly frustrated. “I’m not going to beg you for it, Lance.”

“I’m not asking you to beg, but I need to hear that you’re okay with this before we start. I want an actual answer before we go any further.” Lance told him, sounding serious. Keith stared up at him, studying the caring smile on his face. He knew in his heart this was what he wanted, that he couldn’t possibly say no and wouldn’t want to even if he could. He was going to break his own heart and it was going to be beautiful in how bittersweet it was. “I don’t know what’s holding you back, but we can work around it. I want you, you want me, we’ll figure out the rest as we go.”

“Okay. I want this, Lance. I want you.” Keith breathed. He watched the information register with Lance, relief and excitement shining through his expression. Keith gave him a few seconds to bask in that and prepare himself, before abruptly rolling them over. His patience had reached its end, if he was going to give in then he sure as hell wasn’t going to hold back. He’d been holding back for far too long.

Lance yelped, legs falling open for Keith to fit easily between. Keith pressed their bodes close together, holding himself up with one hand as he experimentally rolled his hips. Lance’s legs twitched on either side of his hips, thighs hugging Keith’s waist. He was already so blissfully eager, responsive, submissive. 

Keith wanted to do everything with him.

“Ground rules.” Keith grit out, popping open the button on Lance’s jeans. He dropped his head, kissing across the other man’s chest, moving in a steady path downward. In his wake he left sharp bites and a trail of saliva, as he traced Lance’s skin with his tongue and bit down whenever he thought about how the marks would stay for days afterward. He didn’t want Lance to forget where he’d been.

Lance whined, trying to shove Keith’s head downward when he stopped for a particularly long time to lavish Lance’s nipple in attention. Keith ignored his whining, even as he started to verbally complain in little whimpers about how sensitive he was. Keith only moved across his chest, a wolfish grin on his face as he gave the other side the same treatment. 

When Keith finally pulled away, it was to stare down at his work and wipe the saliva from his chin with Lance’s shirt. That earned him a rather shrill shout of disgust, but he hardly registered it as he studied all the faint bruises slowly appearing on Lance’s skin. In more than one place, he could see where he hadn’t been careful enough with his new Galra fangs, individual teeth marks from nicking the skin just a little bit too hard. He grinned to himself.

“You said something about rules?” Lance was already panting, his chest rapidly rising and falling with short breaths. Keith sat back on his knees, deciding to give Lance a moment to catch up while he undressed himself.

“Right.” Keith said, pulling his shirt off. His pajamas quickly followed, leaving him in nothing but a pair of dark boxers. He left those on for the time being, instead giving in to the temptation swirling in the pit of his stomach. Lance lifted his hips from the mattress the second Keith started to pull on his jeans. 

It was a lot harder to think with Lance laid out in front of him in nothing but a pair of tight briefs, but he took a deep breath and managed to compose himself. These rules were for his own benefit, an attempt to minimize the damage. “No penetration.”

“Fair.” Lance agreed, though he’d crossed his arms over his chest to hide behind them. He looked petulant, like he’d really expected Keith to just roll over and let him stick it in. Keith snickered to himself, settling his hands on Lance’s thighs and rubbing over them. Now that Lance was mostly undressed he could see the obvious outline of his arousal, lewd in the way it stretched the fabric out.

“No post-orgasm cuddling, talking, or even  _ looking  _ at each other.” Keith continued, shuffling down the bed so his head was level with Lance’s lap. He didn’t initiate anything else though, simply stretched out with his head between Lance’s legs, staring expectantly up the length of the other boy’s body. Lance shivered, reaching down to thread his fingers through Keith’s hair, as grabby as Keith could remember him being.

“O-Okay. Jesus Christ, Keith.”

“Lastly,” Keith paused, leaning down to breathe hot air across the steadily growing wet patch soaking through Lance’s briefs. He gasped, hips bucking upward. Keith leaned away, putting space between them to make sure Lance was listening now. “This is only happening once so make the most of it. We finish and we go our separate ways. From that point on we’re just friends, no benefits.”

“Not exactly what I was hoping for, but I can work with it.” 

“You don’t have anything to add?” 

“May I request a change of position?” Lance asked, his tone pleading. Keith sighed, quite comfortable where he was between Lance’s widespread legs. He would have been totally content to stay there and maybe suck him off, but it seemed that Lance definitely had other plans.

“Go ahead.” Keith relented, sitting up. When Lance shoved Keith down against the mattress again, it hardly came as a surprise. Lance was used to being the one on top after all. Keith laid back, watching as Lance moved between his legs, only to grab both of Keith’s ankles and bring them up to one of his shoulders.

Keith groaned. There were only so many things Lance could possibly have him stretched out and exposed like this for. “Rule number o-”

“I know, that’s not what I’m doing.” Lance snapped, gripping the waistband of his boxers and pulling them off his legs. They hung from one ankle over Lance’s shoulder and Keith kicked them off the rest of the way, letting them land somewhere in the bed. He turned his attention back to Lance, only to find him holding his hand out expectantly. “Lube?”

“Here.” Keith spoke quickly, hand darting to the bedside drawer and pulling out a familiar bottle. He tossed it down the bed and Lance quickly snatched it up, leaning back as if to survey the situation. Keith watched Lance’s eyebrows raise, lust written plain across his face as he admired Keith’s ass from the new angle. Keith snorted, shaking his hips enticingly as best he could with his legs so high above himself. 

Then, because he was impatient and Lance had taken longer than a second to appease him, “Gonna eat me out?”

Lance groaned, grip tightening on Keith’s ankles. He shifted closer and Keith made a startled noise, feeling the head of Lance’s dick brush up against the back of his thigh.

“N-No, that would be penetration.”

“Hm, I might make an exception.” Keith hummed, low and sultry, well-aware that he was being bossy in his own way. Lance quirked an eyebrow, his free hand coming down to grab a handful of Keith’s ass and dig his nails in. 

“Fuck, now you’ve got me second-guessing myself.” Lance muttered, struggling with the lube. Keith snickered, one of his feet sliding down from Lance’s shoulder, moving across his chest teasingly. Lance seemed flighty and overeager, like this was his first time despite Keith being well aware that it definitely wasn’t. He finally spread the lube across his hand, reaching down between them and looking back to Keith, biting his lip. “Do you like that? Is that what you ask all the other guys to do when you bring them home?”

“Pervert.” Keith scoffed, surprised when Lance’s jaw dropped in a breathless pleasured noise. Curious, Keith spread his legs apart, giving a clear view of where Lance was touching himself instead of Keith, having shucked off his own underwear at some point as well. His cock shone with a generous amount of lube as he slicked it up and already Keith was regretting passing up the opportunity to take it down his throat. 

God, he was almost irritated with how big Lance’s cock was. Weren’t the ones with the big ego and the flirty personality supposed to be all talk? 

He huffed. “Do what you had planned originally, I wanna know what  _ Lance McClain _ defaults to when he has someone spread out in front of him.”

“I mean, it’s not usually my default.” Lance hastily explained, though he was mostly distracted now. Keith jolted at the first touch of cold lube to his thigh, Lance’s fingers slipping between his legs with ease. He tightened his thighs together around Lance’s fist and the corresponding whimper was priceless. Keith was grinning now as he finally got a grasp on what was happening here. “There’s just something about your  _ legs _ . You’ve pinned me down so many times in the training room, I know you could choke me out with them.”

“You… want me to choke you with my thighs?” Keith teased, the smug look that was no doubt on his face giving away the fact he knew what Lance’s real intentions were. He just wanted to make him say it out loud. Lance definitely realized as much, suiting Keith with an unimpressed glare even as he slicked up the space between his thighs with lube.

“No, I want to fuck them.” Lance bit out, rubbing the head of his cock through the mess he’d made. He didn’t apply any pressure yet, but Keith could see the telltale jerk of his arm and feel the light touch against the back of his ass. Lance was kneeling there jerking off against the back of his legs.

Keith tipped his head back, feeling dizzy with arousal. Lance paused, confused. “Is that okay? I can get you off after if it doesn’t do anything for you.”

“Go ahead.” Keith dismissed Lance’s hesitation quickly, stretching his arms out above his head and making a show of tightening his legs together. “Have at it.”

He wasn’t exactly expecting Lance to pounce on him the second he gave the okay, nails digging into his calves and holding his legs in place as he thrust between them for the first time. Lance let out a guttural whine like it’d been punched out of him, beginning to fuck the space between Keith’s thighs in earnest. His thrusts held enough force behind them that Keith slid against the sheets.

Keith could admit that it wasn’t exactly doing much for him in terms of stimulation, it felt awkward and teasing the rare times the head of Lance’s cock would hit his balls. On the other hand, he could also feel Lance’s chest trembling with shaky overwhelmed breaths as he picked up speed. And seeing Lance like this, leaning over him and wiping sweat from his brow, exerted with the effort he was putting into getting himself off with Keith’s body… it was difficult not to get turned on at least a little bit.

“ _ W-Wow _ .” Lance breathed, whimpering softly. Keith felt heat pool through him at the sound, his own cock pulsing hotly where it rested against his stomach. He reached down, getting himself off in shaky rushed movements, desperately trying to match Lance’s own unsteady pace.

It wasn’t easy keeping time with Lance, his movements were impatient and desperate, like he couldn’t possibly get off fast enough. It was odd, Keith was under the impression that Lance was a slow and attentive lover, making the most of every second. Maybe it was the knowledge that this was his only chance to do this, making him feel like he had to go fast and hard, not hold back.

Keith wasn’t complaining, especially now that he was touching himself to the sight. This Lance was a far cry from the same shy and flustered one Keith had kissed in the cockpit of his lion and pressed up against the training room wall. 

This Lance was losing himself to the sensation, hands scrabbling across Keith’s skin, leaving sharp indents across Keith’s legs whenever his knuckles would twitch and dig his nails in just a little bit too hard. His body was covered in a thin sheen of sweat, bottom lip pulled back between his teeth, body tense as he rolled his hips into the tight wet heat. 

Keith could easily imagine this version of Lance on top of him, that hard cock stretching him open and pressing deep inside of him with the same bruising pace. God, he wanted it.

“You gonna be able to hold it together, Sharpshooter?” Keith teased, sticking his tongue out. Lance had been staring down at where his cock was sliding wetly between Keith’s thighs, but now he glanced up with dark lust-filled eyes. He smirked at Keith, one hand sliding down the length of Keith’s leg to smack his ass. The resounding slap echoed around the room and Keith struggled to keep position, wanting nothing more than to let his legs fall open so Lance could fuck him properly. “A-Ah! You jerk!”

“Enough with the attitude, like I can’t literally see your cock drooling all over your stomach. I’m so not the only desperate one here.” Lance’s voice was deeper than usual, rough with how he struggled to catch his breath without pausing the constant grind of his hips. It was dirty, the sound of sex as Lance fucked into the wet space he’d made for himself between Keith’s legs, the constant drag of his quiet moans and whimpers, the way Keith could lay back and watch as Lance chased his own orgasm.

At one point Lance slapped his ass again, only to grip one round cheek in his hand and dig his nails in before the sting of the hit even tapered off. Keith grit his teeth, fist tightening around the base of his cock to stave off his high. Lance’s hand was wandering though, fingers tracing over Keith’s perineum, circling his hole without applying any pressure. “Fuck, Keith, your ass is so nice.”

“That’s a gay thing to say, Lance.” Keith chuckled, but his own arousal showed through plain as day in his words. Lance shrugged his shoulders, both hands gripping Keith’s hips and yanking him back flush against the front of Lance’s thighs. Keith moaned at the rough handling, hand running over his cock faster. “Bet you wish you were inside of me now, huh? God, you’d feel so good stretching me open.”

“Is that what makes you make all those slutty noises?” The second the words left Lance’s mouth, Keith could see the regret flicker across his face. He turned, hiding his face in Keith’s calves, nipping and sucking at the soft skin. Keith propped himself up on his elbows, reluctantly letting go of himself so he could concentrate.

“Excuse me?”

“When I hear you late at night with your hook-ups, you’re so fucking loud. The way you beg and whine, like all you care about is getting fucked nice and hard. It’s so hot. Probably the first thing that made me start questioning my sexuality, you know.” Lance’s voice was muffled, and it was clear at this point he was just rambling with zero filter the closer he got to coming, but Keith was reveling in it. The thought of Lance hearing him during his hook-ups had always made him embarrassed before, but to think that he had heard it and _ liked _ it. God, he should have made a show of it.

Meanwhile, Lance had started to fuck up between his legs in short little staccato movements, hips jerking on their own accord as he started to lose control. “Ah, shit, I’m close. Gonna come.”

Then, because Keith was a petty individual and maybe just the slightest bit flattered by the whole confession, he decided to play right into Lance’s apparent fantasy now and put on a show.

“Mm, please!” Keith moaned, long and lascivious, obviously faked. Lance’s hips bucked forward with twice as much force the next thrust forward though, which told him all he had to know. Keith sucked his fingers into his mouth, gasping around them dramatically. “Come on me, Lance! I want it all over me. I’m such a slut for your cock, give it to me.”

“Ah, Keith, so good. So good for me.” Lance gasped, his voice absolutely wrecked. Keith felt it when he came, hot streaks of white landing across his stomach and smearing into the mess of lube between his thighs. Lance shook with the aftershocks, holding Keith’s legs in place as he continued to rut between them, humping forward through his orgasm.

It wasn’t until a long moment later when he’d come down that Keith dared to move, dropping his legs obscenely on either side of Lance’s body, stretching them out even as Lance’s hungry gaze followed the movement. He chuckled, shaking his head. “That was dirty even for you.”

“Yeah, well, you can’t say you weren’t into it.” Keith reminded him, staring pointedly at the mess across his stomach. Lance blushed, but before he could suggest something like getting out of the bed to clean Keith up, Keith was quick to get him back on track. He reached down, stroking over his hard cock, so neglected that it almost hurt. Lance gulped, eyes following the show. “My turn?”

“Yeah. How do you want me?” Lance offered quickly, nearly falling on top of Keith in his haste to sit his ass down and take orders. Keith rolled his eyes, hesitating for just a second before reaching into the bedside table a second time. Lance’s eyes widened comically, that adorable blush from before coming back tenfold. “This is…”

“A sex toy.” Keith finished plainly, shoving the vaguely alien-esque dildo into Lance’s hands. With anyone else he might have felt a shred of embarrassment at being so straightforward, but as it was he simply powered through it. If this was his only chance to be with Lance, then he was going to damn well get what he wanted out of it. And as much as he wanted Lance to actually fuck him, he also knew how hard it would be to move on from that and forget about it. He would romanticize it too much as something more than it was.

So, this was the compromise. 

Lance was still looking at him a little weirdly, so Keith shrugged his shoulders and grabbed the lube. He slicked up his own fingers, spreading his legs on either side of Lance as he slipped his hand down between them. “The no penetration rule doesn’t count if it’s not you.”

“Right, of course.” Lance stuttered out, eyes glued to where Keith was slowly fingering himself open. If the way he’d frozen in place was anything to go by, he was the slightest bit overwhelmed. Keith sighed, wishing Lance would touch him already.

“Hey jackass, you were the one that wouldn’t stop playing with my ass.” Keith reminded him. Lance glanced up at him, their eyes locking for a split second. Lance definitely looked apprehensive, but there was still lust there, dark and intrigued. Keith swallowed roughly, slipping a second finger into himself alongside the first. “You better not have a gay freak-out on me right now.”

“N-No, this is just a lot.” Lance insisted, shuffling tentatively closer. He lifted a hand as if to settle on Keith’s thigh, then hesitated and simply left it hovering in the air. Keith rolled his eyes and Lance saw it, his expression shifting into something determined. He reached forward and Keith tipped his head back, assuming Lance would pull his hand away any second now and take up the job of prepping Keith himself.

Instead, Keith felt Lance’s finger swipe across the mess of cum on his stomach. The moment he realized Lance’s intentions and started to sit-up to confirm, Lance pushed his finger inside alongside Keith’s own. Keith groaned, throwing his head back.

“Hnn, Lance! You can’t just-” Keith trailed off, his face flushed. Now that he was sitting up, he could see Lance’s expression, confidence shining through now as he started to fuck his finger into Keith’s entrance in earnest. Keith slipped his own fingers out, moaning softly when Lance immediately replaced them with his.

“I’m clean.” Lance told him, almost absentmindedly like it’d occurred to him as an afterthought. Keith could still feel the lube and cum trailing down his thighs, his entire body a slick willing mess. Lance was making an effort to gather as much of his own cum as he could, using it to ease the way of his fingers despite the lube doing the job already.

“Oh, great, that was definitely my only concern.” Keith snarked, biting his lip as Lance scissored his fingers apart, pressing up against his inner walls. Seeing how he looked now, all sharp edges and heated stares, Keith couldn’t help but wonder how many times women had been sprawled out underneath Lance just like this. God, he could feel the jealousy burning hot in the pit of his stomach right alongside the arousal.

He wanted to make this good, make it so Lance never wanted anyone else but him. Selfish.

“And this feels good?” Lance asked, working his three fingers back and forth. Keith was well past the point of ready now, but he was almost hesitant to let the moment go. He knew the moment the toy was inside of him he’d lose himself in the feeling and he wanted to commit this to memory, Lance over him and staring down at him with those hungry eyes.

“You’ve never tried it on yourself?” Keith scoffed, disbelief evident in his tone. Lance’s hand paused, his eyes darting away from Keith’s and back to what he was doing. He looked… shy. Keith hummed curiously, making a mental note of that.

Then, he decided to take pity on the flustered boy between his legs. “Well, it’d feel better if you knew what you were doing, but sure. It’s not bad.”

“What am I doing wrong?” Lance asked eagerly, relieved to have some guidance. Keith smiled to himself despite his best efforts to stomp out the fondness burning in his chest.

“Crook your fingers upward and kinda search around a bit, you’ll know when you get it right.”

“I’ll know how?” Lance pressed, but he was already following the instructions. Keith hissed air out between his teeth in a breathless sort-of gasp as Lance’s fingertips just barely brushed where they needed to. Lance crooked an eyebrow at him and Keith looked away, face flushed.

“You just will.”

“Okay.” Lance relented, though he continued driving his fingers into Keith, getting closer with each thrust forward. Keith tipped his head back, panting into the sheets. His toes were curling, pleasure wracking his frame as Lance started to rub up against his prostate directly. He groaned, low and satisfied, uncaring of how desperate he looked.

“Oh, yes! Right there!” Keith cried out, nearly kicking Lance in the gut when he abruptly paused what he was doing. “F-Fucking hell, don’t you dare stop now!”

“So _ that’s  _ what makes you make the slutty noises.” Lance mumbled, sounding the slightest bit awed. The truth was, Keith would have found it undeniably endearing any other time. As it was though, he just wanted Lance to hurry up and get him off. 

“ _ Lance _ .” Keith groaned, voice filled with annoyance now instead of arousal. At least Lance seemed disappointed by the change of tone, quickly going back to stretching Keith open and fucking him with his fingers. With the direct stimulation it wasn’t long until Keith was growing impatient, rocking back against Lance’s hand and barely able to keep his mouth shut as pleased noises slipped past his lips. 

When Lance didn’t take the hint, Keith hurriedly told him in plain terms. “I’m ready, I’m  _ so  _ ready, you can put it in me now.”

“Have some patience.” Lance chastised teasingly, drawing his fingers back. Immediately, Keith bit his lip in anticipation, ready for the thick toy to slide inside of him. He wanted it, wanted to feel it press up into him and drag against his inner walls. Instead, he was met with Lance leaning over his body with a wide-eyed gasp. “It vibrates. You found a vibrator in outer space?!”

“It cost me damn near a fortune too.” Keith snapped, swatting it away from his face. Lance laughed wickedly, but at least he went back to what he was meant to be doing then. He slicked the toy up with lube, pressing the tip to Keith’s rim with a teasing amount of pressure. “Should I just-”

“Yes, Lance. Shove it in and fuck me with it, it’s not rocket science.”

“Okay, okay, calm down.” Lance chuckled, running his hand over Keith’s thigh in what was probably meant to be a soothing gesture but only really worked him up more. Thankfully, Lance’s other hand made quick work of pushing the toy in. It was only about halfway inside when Lance spoke up again, a hint of smugness audible in his voice. “Is that better, sweetheart?”

“Mm.” Keith hummed, rocking his hips back as Lance drew the toy out only to push it back in with one smooth thrust forward. Keith cried out, gripping the sheets and biting hard on his bottom lip.

“Not too rough?”

“N-No. That’s it, just like that. You’re doing a good job.” Keith muttered frantically, trying anything he could to convince Lance to hurry up already. This was nothing like what he was used to. Not only was he the one in control with most of his hook-ups, but they were hardly ever things that either party wanted to draw out and take their time with. It was fast and filthy, to the point, no pretending it was anything other than what it really was.

Lance on the other hand, seemed perfectly content to sit there and tease for the foreseeable future.

“Should I go faster? Harder?” At this point it was clear that Lance was messing with him, all toothy smiles and dark eyes. Keith glared petulantly up at him. “That’s what you’re always screaming when anyone else does this.”

“You know, Lance, I’m getting the impression that you just lie in your room and listen to me get fucked when I bring guys home.” He grit out, abruptly fumbling over his words when Lance switched on the vibrator inside of him. It was a struggle to finish the sentence, but he managed it if only to spite the idiot between his legs. He’d just barely finished speaking when Lance’s free hand slipped down his thigh and wrapped around his cock, jerking him off in quick strokes. Any attempt at conversation was quickly forgotten after that in favor of chasing after the touch, but maybe Lance had done that on purpose.

With nothing else to distract him, Keith got lost in the sensation of Lance’s hand working over him and thrusting the toy back and forth inside of him. The dull buzz of the vibrator was all he could hear over himself as he moaned and whined his way toward orgasm, embarrassingly vocal and aware of it now that Lance had gone and pointed it out. 

And Lance, for all the teasing that’d been present in his voice a moment ago, suddenly had a whole lot of nothing to say. He just sat back and did exactly what Keith wanted him to, eyes glued to the scene in front of him. Keith kept waiting on a snide comment, anything to remind him that he was doing this with Lance _as friends_ , but it never came. And when he managed to peek up at Lance beneath his lashes, the other boy looked nothing but focused.

The focus was paying off too, gone were the days of light teasing touches and cautious advances, Lance’s confidence had returned fully now and it was like he suddenly knew exactly what to do and how to do it in order to reduce Keith to a writhing mess.

“You like that?” Lance crooned, in what might have been intended as sarcastic but came across as a lot more genuinely curious. So Keith nodded, breathing heavy through his open mouth, uncertain whether to buck up into Lance’s fist or rock back against the toy buried deep inside of him. “You got any kinks I can exploit right now? Are you close?”

It was probably meant to be a joke, Lance was likely growing impatient and ready to get the whole thing over with, but Keith heard it as the invitation it surely wasn’t loud and clear. He tipped his head back, stretching out the long column of his neck.

“Bite me?”

“Shit, why am I not surprised?” Lance snickered, but rather than saying anything else he leaned in and brought his mouth to Keith’s throat. He sucked and nipped, doing his best to mark up Keith’s neck while keeping up with the movements of his hands. It was messy and uncoordinated, given the clumsy way they were sprawled out, but it didn’t matter at all when finally Lance bit down hard in the same instant the toy drove home into Keith’s prostate.

“Lance!” Keith cried out, a broken sort of moan as his orgasm washed over him. He came in streaks across both of their stomachs, shaking underneath Lance. It felt too good to even be disappointed by the way Lance stopped kissing his neck, instead leaning back to watch the pleasure play out across Keith’s features.

“I’m never going to be able to unsee that.” Lance mused, hands gently working Keith through the last of it. And when Keith blinked his eyes open a moment later, it was to see Lance’s smiling face just inches from his own, dimples showing in a teasing grin. “So… how do you feel about a round two?”

“We’re not s-supposed to talk post-orgasm.” Keith protested weakly, squirming away from Lance in his overstimulated state. Only, in his hasty scramble back toward the headboard, he managed to push the toy deeper into himself. He yelped, blushing from head to toe as Lance’s hands settled on his knees and pried them gently apart. 

Lance reached forward, gripping the base of the toy and experimentally thrusting it forward. Keith dug his nails into Lance’s shoulder, growling in annoyance. “Pull it out!  _ Please _ . It’s too much!”

“I don’t know, I kinda like this Keith better. He’s so compliant.” Lance snickered, pressing a kiss to the inside of Keith’s knee. It was simple and thoughtless, hardly lasted a second before he had his focus back on the prize, but something in Keith froze when he saw it. It was such a small gesture, but so caring and intimate, and it made Keith’s heart race unlike it ever had for anyone else. 

Keith shoved Lance away with a stern hand, watching him bounce back on the mattress and immediately shield his face. “Ah! I take it back! Don’t break my dick off!”

“You’re such an idiot.” Keith muttered, gently easing the toy out of himself. He tossed it aside, resigned to the fact he’d have to do laundry either way. Then, with all the grace in the world, he collapsed back onto the disgusting sheets beneath him. Suddenly he was exhausted. What was he thinking doing something like this?

“Keith? You’re not gonna beat me up for teasing you?” Lance asked, his voice uncertain. Keith shrugged his shoulders, rolling over and burying his face into the pillow. Without the heavy fog of arousal clouding his thoughts, it was suddenly a lot harder to ignore the consequences of what he’d just done. Even if their relationship stayed the same by some utter miracle, Keith already felt different.

“Maybe later.”

“Holy shit, the stress relief thing is real. Any other time you’d have my head for that.” Lance laughed, and Keith forced a chuckle out to sate him. He was half expecting Lance to just tuck his dick back into his pants and leave then, like they’d agreed upon, but that was really just wishful thinking. 

“Any other time that wouldn’t have happened, Lance.” It didn’t come as a surprise per se when the mattress bounced next to him, dipping under Lance’s weight as he shifted closer. Keith didn’t bother to look up at first, but then Lance settled a hand in the center of his back and started to rub. More accurately, it was a massage, all over Keith’s tense upper back and shoulders. And it was torture, pure torture, the best torture Keith had ever endured.

He groaned, melting into the mattress and biting his tongue when he should have been rushing Lance out the door.

“I mean, it _ could _ if you’d rethink the whole rule about this never happening again.” Lance whispered, fingertips tiptoeing across the plane of Keith’s back. Keith shifted, tensing up all over again. He sat up, pointedly staring in the opposite direction of Lance. 

“No.” He rose to his feet, heading toward the adjacent bathroom. 

“Okay, I understand.” Lance agreed hastily, making no effort to convince Keith to change his answer past that. It was nice, having his answer respected. It was also terrible, because Keith already wanted to change his damn answer.

As it was, he looked back over his shoulder just before disappearing into the bathroom. He only meant to glance back, but he found himself lingering. He watched Lance get dressed, oblivious to Keith’s gaze glued to him. He was clumsy and uncoordinated, all things considered. He tripped twice trying to pull up his jeans, and when he went to put his shirt on he smelled the armpits as if the twenty minutes on Keith’s floor would have made it smell any worse than it had before.

He was an idiot and Keith was filled with equal parts warmth and hurt knowing he could never have that idiot the way he really wanted.

Lance turned to leave, freezing when he spotted Keith still standing in the doorway to the bathroom. To his credit, he didn’t even balk at the fact Keith was still naked and he somehow managed to keep his eyes above the shoulders. He grinned at Keith, giving an awkward little wave as he stumbled backward toward the door. “Well, it’s been nice blowing you, see you later!”

“How long have you been waiting on someone stupid enough to let you use that line?” Keith groaned, knowing from the look of sheer satisfaction on Lance’s face that it’d been a while. Lance slipped out into the hallway and Keith shouted after him just before the door closed. “Hey, you didn’t even blow me!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's 3:30am, BUT I'M HERE! I DIDN'T FORGET! 
> 
> Thx for reading and place your bets now on whether next week's chapter will be posted on time or not!!! Leave your guesses in the comments below!!
> 
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> http://miscreantmango.tumblr.com (nsfw)  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1c2KzJbcGA


	8. Chapter 8

The thing was, Lance knew that their relationship couldn’t possibly go back to how it was before sleeping together. He’d known from that very first kiss that their normal was shifting into something else. He just hadn’t realized how much the sex would speed up the whole process to the point that he woke up the next day and hardly recognized their relationship anymore. He didn’t know where he stood, what he could and couldn’t say, or even what Keith wanted him to be.

He’d known it would change, he wasn’t an idiot, but what he’d failed to realize was how impossible it would be to fake his way through it and pretend it hadn’t until it all blew over.

Lance had never felt so flustered in his life. He bristled at the mere mention of Keith’s name that morning over breakfast, blushing and stuttering through responses. Nevermind when Keith had actually walked into the dining room, freshly-showered and fashionably late as always. Lance had stared for a good five minutes before Keith had finally glanced in his direction, a questioning look on his face.

Lance spent most of the meal staring at his food after that, pushing it around his plate. He would have been content to stay just like that until everyone went their separate ways, but as it was the fates had it out for him. He was in the middle of swallowing down one of the few bites he’d tried to stomach so far when it happened.

“Lance?” Keith called, soft and unsure. It was quiet enough that the others wouldn’t overhear, but it was also not something that was meant to go ignored by Lance. Lance choked on his food, quickly playing it off with a few quick coughs. To his right, Keith sat there looking at him, vague concern written across his features. “Are you okay? Don’t tell me we’re having a repeat of the day after we kissed?” 

“No, of course not.” Lance insisted hurriedly, even as he frantically studied Keith’s face, memories of it screwed up in pleasure flashing through his mind. Oh no, this was very bad, memories were so much harder to ignore than fantasies. He grit his teeth, offering up what he hoped to be a convincing smile to end the conversation. “I’m fine, Keith.”

Momentarily sated, Keith turned back to his breakfast and took a few bites. When he spoke again, he didn’t even look in Lance’s direction, just kept staring down at his plate.

“You don’t regret it, do you?”

“No, I don’t regret it.” Lance said hurriedly, coming across as much more genuine in his rush to get the words out. Keith glanced over at him, nodding his head slowly.

“Okay, just checking.” He said, rising to his feet. He took his plate with him, headed off to do whatever it was Keith did during the run of the day. As he left, he patted Lance on the back. “I’ll see you later.”

As the next few days passed by, Lance was starting to rethink his answer. It wasn’t that he regretted the acts necessarily, more what they led to. That quick breakfast exchange was the only thing remotely close to a conversation Keith offered on the topic, after that everything went back to normal. On the surface.

Keith was his usual self, so Lance forced himself to be the closest thing to that he could, but deep down his entire body felt uprooted and uneasy, filled with such mixed emotions it made his head spin trying to keep up with them all. He couldn’t understand how Keith was acting exactly the same as always. Was he just that unaffected or that good at hiding things?

Well, Lance wasn’t either of those things and he’d come to the conclusion that if he didn’t get everything off his chest soon he was going to implode. It’d been a week of rescuing people and training and hanging out with the others, all with Keith at his side just like he had been before. Lance couldn’t take it anymore.

He walked right into the kitchen on the night of their big coalition event, hopped up on the counter to watch as Hunk frantically scrambled around getting everything ready, and then dropped the bomb.

“So, I slept with Keith.” Lance announced, swinging his long legs over the edge of the counter. For the most part, Hunk ignored him. There was no visible reaction, no shocked or outraged gasp, no wide-eyed spin around. He continued working for a full minute before distractedly responding.

“How’d that go?”

“Hunk, I’m serious.” Lance whined, shoving aside some empty bowls to sprawl out across the counter, stretching out like a forlorn cat. Hunk huffed out a laugh, clearly not convinced. Lance glared at the back of his head. “Do you want the explicit details or what? What do I have to say to make you believe me?”

“Lance, come on.” Hunk sighed, finally turning to look at him, hands placed on his hips. “If you’re going to try and make up a story to prank me, at least make it a believable one.”

“It is believable because it happened!” Lance cried out, raking his hands through his hair. Hunk’s amused smiled faltered for a split second, confused over Lance’s dramatics if this was meant to be a joke. Lance slid off the counter and walked over to Hunk, grabbing his shoulders and shaking some sense into him rather literally. “We had one night together, no strings attached, and now we’re not allowed to talk about it and it’s driving me insane! We’re exactly how we were before and I know that was the deal, but it sucks! It’s not the same for me, why is it the same for him?”

“Wait a second, back it up.” Hunk said hurriedly, reaching up to rub at his temples, a headache no doubt coming on with the screechy way Lance was demanding to be taken seriously. Hunk paced back and forth across the kitchen, clearly struggling to decide how much he believed the story. “Keith agreed to sleep with you? Was he sober?”

“Yes he was sober! Don’t be a dick!” Lance hissed, debating if maybe he should just storm out of the room and give up on this entirely. Hunk was still looking at him expectantly, like any second Lance would break down into laughter and admit it’d all been a joke. When he didn’t, Hunk reluctantly continued.

“I’m not trying to insult your fuckability, but who in their right mind agrees to sleep with their co-worker, friend, and teammate all in one? Keith has more common sense than that.”

“Well, surprise! He doesn’t.” Lance snapped, more than a little bit insulted that Hunk wasn’t out here defending _ his _ common sense and only mentioned Keith’s. He crossed his arms over his chest, feeling the slightest bit petty. “He spent  _ months  _ worth of earnings on an alien vibrator and I fucked him with it. Tell me more about his common sense.”

“Ew?” Hunk choked out, looking at Lance in exasperation. His annoyance quickly faded though, giving way to something wide-eyed and shocked the longer he stared at Lance’s glaring form. Finally, he shook his head, eyebrows furrowed together. “You’re actually serious. This actually happened?”

“Yes!” Lance all but shouted in relief, stumbling forward and giving his friend a hug. Hunk didn’t return the embrace, but Lance decided to let it slide considering he still looked like his mind was imploding in on itself. 

Lance turned around, swiping one of the baked goods off the tray and giving it a taste test. Hunk didn’t even yell at him for it. He looked over his shoulder, to where he could visibly see the information processing taking place on Hunk’s face. “ _ Now _ can we talk about the actual problem?”

“Pretty sure the whole thing is a problem, but I guess you can continue.” Hunk mumbled, quiet and almost reluctant. It wasn’t about to stop him from saying what he needed to say though, he’d worked too hard to find a place to dump all of this information off so it wasn't weighing down on solely him.

“I want to do it again.” Lance said, speaking the realization aloud for the first time. It felt freeing to get it off his chest, to admit that that’s what he’d wanted all along. The reason it was so difficult for him to pretend and let things go back to normal was because he didn’t want them to. At all.

“That is a problem.” Hunk said, looking concerned. He stepped closer, wrapping an arm around Lance’s shoulders slowly. It took Lance a moment to realize he was being comforted all of the sudden, coddled like he’d been deeply hurt. Was wanting to sleep with Keith such a disservice to himself that Hunk felt genuinely bad for him? 

It all made sense a second later, when Hunk carded his fingers through Lance’s short hair and spoke in that honey sweet comforting voice he only used when Lance really needed to hear it. “You’re catching feelings for him, huh? Oh, Lance.”

“No! No, not like that!” Lance yelled, kicking and squirming his way out of his friend’s embrace. Hunk looked taken aback as Lance loudly and obnoxiously opposed  _ that _ particular idea. “I don’t wanna marry the dude! I don’t have any romantic feelings or attraction toward him, our friendship is exactly the same as it used to be there. Nothing’s changed except now I see him as someone I can be sexually attracted to, you know? I’m just horny all the time and he’s _ right there _ , it makes more sense for us to make it a recurring thing.”

“Does it?” Hunk’s voice cracked on the question, going particularly high. Lance ignored him, pacing angrily back and forth across the room.

“Besides, he was supposed to teach me about being with a man and it was all over way too quick to learn anything.” Lance insisted, hands gesturing wildly. “I mean, obviously the men I sleep with aren’t gonna have the same body as him, or really any resemblance at all, but it’s the mental roadblock of being with a guy that I have to get past.”

“You don’t seem very roadblocked right now.” Hunk pointed out, voice meek. Lance threw his hands up.

“Yeah, but that’s because it’s _ Keith _ . I know him. He doesn’t count.” Lance explained, looking to Hunk for back-up. When Hunk gave him a skeptical look, he knew he had to explain better lest his best friend get the wrong idea. He was not catching feelings, ew. “Listen, I’ve tried to find a guy every chance I’ve gotten since. Sometimes it seems to be going really well, then the second it gets physical I’m outta there. It’s a roadblock, I’m not fully comfortable with my newfound sexuality yet and Keith claimed I would be after my night with him.”

“Have you considered that maybe it’s less about the fact that they’re guys and more about how they’re not Keith? Have you flirted with any girls successfully since being with Keith?”

“I mean, no, but if I wanted to sleep with a girl I could.” Lance scoffed at the idea dismissively. Hunk raised an eyebrow at him, skepticism written across his face.

“Could you?”

“Hunk, do you have any idea who you’re talking to right now? Of course I could.” Lance rolled his eyes, leaning back against the counter. “I’ve just been more focused on guys lately, that doesn’t mean I’ve lost my touch with the ladies.”

“Well, maybe you just need to meet a nice girl to take your mind off of this for a while.” Hunk suggested, though there was an air about him that said he honestly had no idea how to approach comforting Lance through this sort of situation. “How about you focus on that at the event tonight, okay? Don’t even think about Keith and don’t go looking for another guy if you know it won’t work. Stick with what you know you’re comfortable with.”

“Okay, I guess.” Lance grumbled, indescribably unsatisfied with the conclusion they’d reached. He wasn’t sure what else Hunk could have possibly suggested, only that this wasn’t the outcome he’d been after when he marched into the room. Whatever, Hunk usually knew what he was talking about, Lance would give it a try.

Worst case scenario, he would get to meet a pretty woman and take her back home to relieve some of the stress that’d built up in him lately.

\--

As it turned out, Lance may have underestimated the worst case scenario the slightest bit. Not only did he not have a pretty woman to take home with him, but he was brutally fucking up every time he approached one. It was like he’d somehow turned back into his awkward and desperate teen self from a few years ago, when he’d had no experience to bank on. 

So he did exactly what he used to do back then, and made a beeline for the bar. Of course now it was less edgy and cool, given he wasn’t sneaking there and was actually of-age to order alcohol. Now it was just a little bit pathetic, especially considering he knew he shouldn’t be drinking and was anyway.

With alcohol in his system and his inhibitions just a little bit lower, he figured he’d be quicker to approach girls and wouldn’t fumble so much. Instead, he used his newfound liquid courage to do what he’d secretly been wanting to all night and scanned the crowd for a familiar face.

He found Keith in the middle of the crowd, attempting to weave through all the people without spilling the two drinks he was carrying in his hands. Lance marched up beside him, feeling an odd mix of irritated and eager to be close to Keith again. Damn, it really was like he’d been transformed back into his pathetic teenager state.

Keith was wearing the plainest black tux Lance had ever laid eyes on, yet he somehow still stood out in the colorful room of different people and species. His hair was tied back for once, eyes bright and cheerful despite being out of his usual comfort zone with all the crowds around. He looked… nice.

And something in Lance found that incredibly frustrating, so he resorted to pulling the back of Keith’s ponytail like a damn grade schooler. Keith tensed immediately.

“Wow, who died to get you into a suit?” Lance teased, propping his elbow up on Keith’s shoulder. Keith cursed, just barely managing to hold onto his drink without spilling it. He turned as if to curse Lance out, which would have surely devolved into a dumb fight with the weird mood Lance was in, but instead Keith just shut his mouth.

He bit his lip, eyes raking over Lance’s chest. He was no doubt taking in Lance’s outfit, the one he’d had personally tailored and styled, meticulously unique with all the bright shimmering blues and metallic looking fabric. And all night Lance had been parading loudly around, asking for attention and to have people admire him and his stupidly expensive suit, but right now he felt indescribably small under Keith’s gaze.

He shifted awkwardly, arm dropping from Keith’s shoulder.

“Lance.” Keith greeted finally, eyes snapping back up to Lance’s. He gave a soft smile. “You look nice.”

That was somehow worse than a revival of their rivalry. Suddenly Lance was wishing that Keith had outright trashed the whole suit and then thrown a drink in Lance’s face just to really top it off, anything to take them back to somewhere familiar.

“Yeah, well, when don’t I?” Lance scoffed, trying desperately to play off the way his whole chest had felt full at the compliment. Keith gave him a strange look, leaning back to look Lance over once more. Finally he nudged his head in the direction of the quieter part of the party and Lance followed after him.

“Are you drunk?” Keith asked, the second they were out of earshot from everyone else. Lance rolled his eyes, sliding into the seat across from Keith at the secluded booth they’d found. He leaned over the table, staring back at Keith’s critical gaze.

“Tipsy.” Lance said decidedly, shrugging his shoulders. “I just needed a little confidence booster.”

“God help us all, you’re cocky enough sober.” Keith sighed. It was odd, really. Keith had made comments just like that a hundred times before, and it’d been a long time since he said them with any hint of genuine annoyance or dislike in his voice, but something about it still got under Lance’s skin tonight. Despite knowing he wasn’t being serious.

Keith caught his sour expression and quickly backtracked. “Just be careful that you don’t get into any trouble, you know how important this event is. Maybe you should stick around one of us just to be safe?”

“I’ve had like three or five drinks, Keith.” Lance argued, turning to stare out over the crowd. Most of them were dancing, swaying back and forth to the strange techno-like music. “You don’t need to babysit me. I’m not going to fuck it all up.”

“No, but there are some people here we aren’t very familiar with and I’d hate for someone to take advantage of you. I’m just trying to look out for you, but fine. Do whatever you want.” Keith snapped back just as easily, moving to get to his feet and leave. Lance’s eyes widened, panic setting in that he’d be alone again after working so hard to get Keith’s attention this first time. Besides, it was a lot harder to stay mad at him after he’d admitted to how he was just trying to make sure Lance stayed safe.

Lance jumped to his feet at the same time, side-stepping in front of Keith. And when he opened his mouth to offer up literally any kind of explanation or excuse, no words came out. His gaze dropped to Keith’s bowtie and he reached forward without thinking, adjusting the tilt of it.

He felt it against his knuckles when Keith swallowed, his body incredibly tense the closer Lance’s hands got to it. Lance frowned guiltily, taking a step back to put space between them.

“It was crooked.”

“Er, thanks.” Keith muttered, reaching up to readjust his hair. Lance’s eyes shamelessly followed the movement, thinking distantly of how lovely Keith’s hair had looked splayed out across the pillows, or with Lance’s tan fingers threaded through it and pulling. “Well, I’d better get back out there.” 

“What are you doing?” Lance asked, falling onto step beside Keith as he moved to leave. Keith hesitated, shooting him a private little bemused look, clearly flustered and confused by Lance’s sudden clingy attitude so soon after their little spat. He was a bit all over the place tonight, to be fair. “We could stay here and hang-out.”

“I’ve got a princess to socialize. Allura says she’s on the fence about joining the coalition and apparently I’m her favorite paladin. Yay.” Keith explained, but he sounded more casual now, like he normally would when talking with Lance. Keith looked out toward the dance floor, no doubt staring in the direction of wherever the princess awaited him. “She has me fetching drinks for her and won’t stop flirting. I’m at my wit’s end.”

“I’ll come with you.” Lance offered, without so much as a second of thinking it through. “If it’s flirting she’s after, I’m the expert.”

“Lance, she doesn’t seem the type to go for that sort of thing.” Keith groaned, turning away. Lance followed after him, eyes frequently flitting to Keith’s face to see what he was thinking. He looked the slightest bit perplexed, like he wondered why Lance was offering to help in the first place.

Maybe it was a bit weird, considering Lance was normally impossible to get ahold of during these parties when he was constantly out socializing. Allura usually let his lack of helpfulness slide at these sort of events because he managed to strengthen bonds and make new connections, which was a help in itself really, even if it wasn’t what the others needed from him. Anyway, normally it was a struggle to even catch a glimpse of Lance during the length of the party, so it was a bit weird for him to be pressed so close to Keith’s side now.

Yet Lance couldn’t convince himself to go anywhere else.

“I’m not looking for a hook-up, I just wanna be helpful.”

“Drunk Lance is sweeter than sober Lance, who knew.” Keith mused, a smirk on his lips. Lance might have argued with him, but as it was he just felt relieved that Keith was gonna let him go along. He wasn’t really all that keen on the idea of going back to seducing women right now, his heart wasn’t in it. 

They stopped at the edge of the dance floor and Keith pointed toward an alien settled at the bar, her fluffy dress falling over the stool. “That’s her, she’s a bit harsh and a little rough around the edges, but maybe she’ll like you better than me. You’ve got a way with people, after all.”

“Sure do.” Lance grinned, eager to prove himself and help out Keith. And maybe even more than that, eager to take this woman’s attention off of him. Keith had seemed so uncomfortable when he talked about her advances, Lance had to do something. If Keith could look out for him, then Lance could certainly look out for his buddy back.

They approached side-by-side, but just before they got there Keith hurried ahead to greet her. It was weird seeing him make such an effort to be professional and diplomatic when normally he couldn’t be bothered to censor himself for anything.

“Lady Monu, I’ve brought a friend back with me.” Keith said, turning to gesture to Lance as he arrived at the bar. She looked up, turning bug-like eyes on Lance. Aside from the unnerving eyes that Lance could see himself reflected in, she was actually quite pretty. Almost humanoid in stature with shiny smooth looking skin and something that resembled hair. “This is Lance, the red paladin.”

Lady Monu gave Lance a quick once-over, very clearly uninterested just like all the other women he’d met tonight, and then turned back to Keith. She smiled, showing off rows of teeth that spiralled down her throat.

“Sit down, please.” She insisted, patting the seat next to her. Keith sat down there and Lance took the stool on his other side, already sensing that he wouldn’t be a very important part of the conversation anyway. She was totally fixated on Keith, almost to an unsettling amount. Lance could definitely see why Keith was a little bit uneasy. “You got our drinks?”

“Yes, a surprise just like you asked for.” Keith grinned, all uptight and professional. Lance had to stifle a chuckle at how hard he was trying. He handed the drink to Lady Monu and she sipped it curiously, a happy hum coming from deep in her throat. “What do you think?”

“It’s delicious, Keith.” She beamed, reaching out and squeezing his arm. Lance didn’t miss the way that Keith subtly leaned away, closer to Lance. She didn’t take the hint though and only followed after him, shifting uncomfortably closer. “Thank-you so much.”

“N-No problem.” Keith stuttered out, turning to stare straight ahead toward the display behind the bar like it was the most interesting thing he’d ever seen. Lance placed a hand on his back where she wouldn’t be able to see, silently sympathetic. “So, what were we talking about before? Was it the economy of your planet?”

“Were you actually interested in that? Not just making small-talk?” She asked, tilting her head to the side inquisitively. When Keith nodded his head and insisted he was, she lit up and let her hand drift down to his thigh instead, squeezing and stroking all the while. Maybe where she came from that was a normal gesture, but it had all sorts of warning bells going off in Lance’s head and surely Keith’s too. “You’re so considerate.”

“Mm.” Keith managed awkwardly, reaching down to try and pry her hand off of him. It was clearly misinterpreted as a good response though, seeing as she instead grabbed his hand and held that. It did all sorts of things to Lance to see them holding hands, but especially when it was so clear that Keith wanted no part in any of it.

Lance decided to be a bit more bold, throwing an arm around Keith’s shoulders. It was like a silent competition, two dogs pissing on the same tree to stake a claim, and Keith was very uncomfortably stuck being the tree.

“That’s our Keith, he’s got a huge heart.” Lance beamed, turning to Keith and grinning widely. And Keith actually smiled back, a little shaky and uncertain, but visibly relieved that Lance was actually trying to intervene at least. That only encouraged Lance to try harder.

“Heart?”

“It’s, uh, an organ?” Keith tried to explain, failing terribly as it was with so many hands on him.

“I don’t believe my people have that organ.” Lady Monu processed the new info slowly, very obviously eager to learn more new things about other species. She turned back to them a moment later, eyes alight and looking for more info. “What’s it used for? Is the size relevant for the task?”

And Lance chose to give her the benefit of a doubt, maybe that awful innuendo was just a slip of the tongue, something unintentionally dirty. But then she started raking her eyes over Keith like she was looking for this organ and Lance cleared his throat loudly, drawing her attention away.

“Um, anyway… about the coalition-” Keith tried, no doubt sensing the tension between them.

“Can’t it wait? We’ll have lots of time to discuss that later, right now I’m more interested in getting to know you.” Lady Monu said, her voice the closest thing to a whine that Lance had heard yet. It was clear that she didn’t understand many of the human customs and common sense things, which was fair all things considered. But Keith was making no effort to correct her and Lance felt his patience growing thin.

“I need another drink, what about you?” Lance said, turning expectantly to Keith. Keith looked blankly back at him. “Would you go get me one, Keithy?”

Recognition lit up across Keith’s face and he was out of his chair in record time, nearly tripping in his rush to extract himself from the situation. He walked backwards, looking between the princess and Lance with an uncertain look.

“I’ll be right back. Lance, would you mind entertaining Lady Monu while I’m gone?”

“Not at all.” Lance dismissed him with a wave of the hand, catching the silent reminder to play nice and be professional. Lance wasn’t so drunk that he was about to forget the importance of the night and the role that they played in this whole event. He wouldn’t fly into her for all of the ways she’d just messed up and offended both him and Keith, he’d just… find a way to make sure it stopped happening.

As soon as Keith was out of sight, Lady Monu closed in on herself and stared down at her drink. She made no effort to acknowledge Lance in the slightest, but he wasn’t going to let that discourage him. He slid into Keith’s seat, reaching over to tap her on the shoulder. “So, you’re interested in Keith?”

“Interested?” She repeated, trying the word out on her tongue. Finally recognition dawned on her features and she hurriedly nodded. “Oh. I plan to court him as a potential mate, yes. He’s beautiful and quite kind. It would be extremely beneficial to have a paladin of Voltron be my mate, especially one as powerful as the pilot of the black lion. He’d be a splendid king for my planet someday.”

The thought of Keith married off to some alien and ruling a planet left Lance feeling nauseous. The thought of Keith leaving the team again for literally anything bothered him, but that was something else to think about. Keith had stressed how lost he’d felt so many times, how desperate he’d been to find the place where he belonged. Now he’d found a family with the paladins, even now that he had his mother back he chose to stay with them instead of the Blade where she was most of the time. The thought that his happy ending could be off on his own without any of them… Lance hated it.

He’d never spent much time considering the future, the idea of them splitting up had always sounded to ludicrous when the war was never guaranteed to end. But now with Lotor and Zarkon both defeated and only a few rogue groups of Galra loyalists left, it wasn’t so hard to believe that maybe the day when the universe wouldn’t need them anymore would come during their lifetimes.

And in the event that that happened, Lance had no idea where Keith would choose to go. Probably with Krolia wherever she was.

Suddenly, a fierce and overwhelming flame of protectiveness surged up in Lance’s chest, and before he could do anything to stop himself he was digging his nails in tight and refusing to let go.

“Well, that sucks because he’s already mated.” Lance blurted, short and to the point, and also bluffing like a son of a bitch. She froze, turning ever so slowly to look Lance over, like she was trying to gauge if he was telling the truth. Lance wasn’t normally the best liar, but right now he was determined to convince her of this.

“What? I didn’t smell it on him.”

“Well, he is. Mated, I mean. To me. We’re mates. We mate. All the time.” Lance told her, holding his chin up snootily. As the seconds ticked by he was caring less and less about making a good impression on this woman, and more about Keith. Everything about Keith from how he felt right now to where he was going to be in ten years time. Why had none of this ever occurred to Lance before? It wasn’t as if it’d never mattered, but now it felt so much more important.

She looked visibly taken aback, looking away from Lance for a moment as she thought. Then she looked back and very pointedly sized him up, apparently failing to see the appeal. It didn’t matter to Lance, as long as he convinced her he was telling the truth she could think whatever nasty things she wanted about him.

“Huh.” She concluded. “For how long?”

“A  _ long _ time.”

“Do you have any children together yet?”

“Um, sure. A few.”

“What are their names?”

“Yance, Yeith, Yidge, and Yunk.”

“Hm, okay.” She sighed, eyes narrowing finally as she deemed that awful unbelievable lie to be the truth somehow. Lance let out a sigh of relief now that the interrogation was over and he no longer had to hold his breath in fear. “Well, I must offer my most sincere apologies. I had no idea. I’ve offended two of the paladins of Voltron. I must join the coalition now to make amends.”

“It’s okay, it happens a lot. He’s a pretty popular guy.” Lance dismissed easily, but a wry little grin had started to worm its way across his lips. If he convinced her to join the coalition then that’d be killing two birds with one stone, Keith wouldn’t have to interact with her again tonight. “If you wanna join the coalition though, that’d be great.”

“Of course.” She agreed, taking a long sip of her drink. They lapsed back into silence then, Lance nervously squirming in his chair and wondering if any second now she’d call him out on being a liar. He had no idea how much her and Keith had talked before he’d arrived, maybe she already knew he was lying and planned on outing him to Keith. Who knew. “It’s a shame, I was quite fond of him. Would you ever consider sharing?”

Lance choked on his own saliva.

“Nope! No, no, he’s not for sharing. He’s only interested in me.” Lance explained hurriedly, scrambling to his feet. Now that she’d promised to join the coalition, he was probably good to get out of there before Keith arrived back and saw the web of lies Lance had spun up. He backed away from the bar, ready to make his escape. “We mate for life, so we’re  _ very  _ in love.”

“Love.” Lady Monu repeated the word slowly, sounding out single syllable with just a hint of difficulty for some reason. She didn’t even look back at Lance’s retreating form and he was confident he’d be able to jump back onto the dancefloor and disappear into the crowd, when suddenly she spoke up again. “He brought that word up before when he was talking about you, if only I’d known what it meant.”

Lance’s breath caught in his throat.

Unlike Lady Monu, he knew that love could mean many different things and that it wasn’t always necessarily romantic. He also knew how incredibly unlikely it really was for Keith to confide in a stranger about his love life. Not even mentioning the fact that there was just no way Keith was in love with him at all, the chances were so slim it was ridiculous.

And yet Lance felt a weird sort of hope burning bright in his chest, hope for something he wasn’t even sure he wanted. What could he possibly have to gain from Keith being in love with him? He didn’t feel the same back, it’d surely bring nothing but awkwardness and hurt for both parties. It was the strangest feeling as he stared at her, barely able to breathe at the possibility.

Did he want Keith to be in love with him? What the hell. 

“Wait, what? What’d he say?” He hesitated before reluctantly walking back over to her, sliding into Keith’s seat from before. His heart was positively hammering away in his chest, thudding insistently the closer he got to an answer. 

“After telling him that he was my favorite paladin, I asked if he had one. He said that the red paladin was extra special to him, that you always have each other’s backs and he trusts you with his life. He said that he loves having you as his right-hand man?” Lady Monu explained, very clearly not understanding all of what she was repeating. It served as proof that Keith had really said these things, despite how hard to believe it seemed. Keith had sat here and gushed about Lance to this stranger? 

Sure, it was no romantic love confession, but it was _ something _ . Keith had said the odd compliment that traveled along similar lines, but knowing that he would willingly and eagerly share that info with a stranger, like he was just waiting on the excuse to talk about Lance. It was new.

Lady Monu looked at his dazed state as the seconds went by and got confused. She set a hand on his shoulder, much lighter and tentative than she’d handled Keith. “The red paladin _ is  _ you, correct?”

“I’m the red paladin, yes.” Lance agreed hastily, nodding his head. She still looked lost, but Lance was a little lost himself and had no idea how to explain his reaction. He felt giddy almost, like he couldn’t sit still and wouldn’t want to even if he could. He felt the strangest urge to get up and dance along with the rest of the room, to maybe even drag Keith out onto the dancefloor with him.

While stuck on cloud nine, he may have forgotten what was actually happening and where he was.

“Hey guys, what’s going on?” Keith asked, leaning in between them and setting his drinks down. Lance jumped and nearly fell off his chair, if it weren’t for Keith catching him and hauling him back up. While they struggled to get Lance back in place, Lady Monu decided to take it upon herself to answer Keith’s question.

“Your mate here was just telling me about-”

“Earth’s accents! You know how Australians call everybody mate? Her people do that too.” Lance all but yelled, throwing an arm around Keith’s shoulders. Keith furrowed his eyebrows together, a certain sort of determination shining in his eyes. Lance wondered if he was about to be brutally called out for lying, if Keith could see right through his expression into the weird fog of fondness in Lance’s mind.

Then, he lit up in a goofy grin.

“Oh. Well, hello mates!” Keith tried his best to recreate an Australian accent, grinning wildly even as he positively butchered the attempt. He was absolutely terrible. Lance had to wonder if he’d ever tried to do an accent in his life, if he’d even heard an accent in his life other than his own Texan drawl. Any other time Lance would have given him hell for it, teased him mercilessly. As it was, he just blinked slowly at Keith, those strange emotions from before bubbling back to the surface.

Maybe it wouldn’t be  _ such  _ a far stretch to believe that Keith could maybe someday be in love with him, and maybe it was a little harsh to say that Lance didn’t feel the same back. He knew that he felt a whole lot  _ of _ love toward the other boy, and maybe with his new realization that he wasn’t straight, he could start to decode what kind of love that was.

All he knew was he certainly never felt like this when Hunk did something stupid and adorable.

Then, Lady Monu had to go and ruin it all.

“Mate _ s _ ? Keith, what are you implying? We’re both… are you interested in-”

“Hey! Do you wanna go continue the conversation we were having before? Somewhere private?” Lance said loudly, standing up and grabbing her wrist before she’d even answered. She looked frantically between Lance and Keith, staring hopefully toward Keith like he’d invite her to join them in a threesome at any second. Lance groaned, wondering how he got himself wrapped up in these sorts of messes.

“What? Why?”

“Yeah, why?” Keith tacked on, his voice much less confused and a hell of a lot more suspicious. Lance thought frantically on how to get himself out of the situation before remembering Lady Monu’s passion for learning about the words she couldn’t understand. He had a plan.

He turned to her, slipping an arm low on her back and wiggling his eyebrows pointedly. She had no idea what either gesture meant, but Keith very clearly drew a conclusion from it if his disapproving scowl was anything to go by. So Lance leaned in close and told Lady Monu exactly what his plan was.

“I can teach you all about love.” He said it like a cheesy pick-up line and Keith groaned in annoyance, while Lady Monu lit up at the idea of learning. She was oblivious. 

“Oh, wonderful!” She beamed, turning to Keith with a wide grin. “We’ll be back soon, Keith. I’ll take good care of him for you.”

“Um, ew?” Keith tried, face screwed up in disgust. Lance stifled a laugh, deciding that this was a story for another time and he’d just have to leave Keith in the dark for now, to draw whatever kinda conclusions he came to naturally. Judging by the look on his face when Lance glanced back on his way to the bathrooms, Keith had some very low expectations for him.

\--

Lance quickly came to regret his quick-thinking and tendency to get himself caught up in lies when he was stuck in the bathroom explaining what love was for the better part of an hour. He sat on the counter and she sat beside him, asking so many questions Lance had started to feel like maybe this whole thing was a lost cause. 

“Love is just something you feel, okay? When you’d give up your life for someone, do anything to make sure they’re happy, and want nothing more than to see them succeed. You’re in love.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been in love.” Lady Monu sighed dramatically, turning to stare at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. Lance slid off the counter and shrugged his shoulders. 

“It’ll happen someday.”

“You’re so lucky that Keith loves you and you love him.”

“Yeah, super lucky.” Lance agreed, not for the first time in the past hour. She kept coming back to how incredibly jealous she was of him for having a happy relationship with Keith. At first it’d been almost a little bit funny, but now it was just making Lance feel sad. It was like when he was in sixth grade and had lied to his entire class about having a long-distance girlfriend. He hated standing here and pretending Keith was his when he knew otherwise.

“Oh, I never thought! It probably hurts when you’re separated for too long and I’m just keeping you apart with this. You should go back to him.” Lady Monu said finally, smiling kindly at Lance to the best of her ability. He saw his chance at escape and took it, nodding frantically.

“God, yes. Keith can hardly be away from me for a tick before he starts to hurt.”

“Oh no! You’d better go see him!” 

“Yep, you betcha!” Lance agreed, rushing toward the door. He had had his fill of love discussion for today, maybe for the rest of his whole entire life. He slumped his shoulders and started toward the quiet part of the room, certain he’d find Keith there somewhere. 

Instead he found an entire table of paladins. He called upon his best acting skills to plaster a smile onto his face and march up to them, knowing that Keith had probably already told the others what Lance was supposedly up to in the bathrooms. 

Keith was the first to look up and see him, a mixture of a smile and a grimace crossing his face as Lance got closer. As soon as Lance sat in the chair next to him, Keith landed a flimsy punch to his arm.

“I can’t  _ believe  _ you hooked up with a princess in the public washrooms!”

“I have  _ no  _ idea what you’re talking about, Mr. Kogane.” Lance laughed, reaching up to where he’d purposely messed up the collar of his suit just so he could smooth it back out now. Keith glowered at him, very unimpressed. Lance ignored it, addressing the rest of the table. “Unrelated, but Lady Monu  _ will  _ be joining the coalition after all.”

“I can’t say I approve of your methods, but thank-you. She’s an important ally.” Allura sighed, rising to her feet and leaving the table. After she was gone, Hunk and Pidge actually looked up from the game they’d been playing together on their phones and addressed Lance. He earned two more grimaces to the tally then.

“Gross.” Pidge concluded, shaking their head. “Lance has his sex smile on, I’m leaving before he tries to give out any details.”

“Hey!” Lance cried out in outrage, acting skills on par with exactly how he’d usually be in this sort-of situation. He’d had enough experiences exactly like this to know how it went. He would overshare in his excitement, everyone else would leave, and then it’d never come up again. No one would ever have to know what a giant lie it’d all been this time. “Did you guys see her? She was gorgeous, she looked so good when she was-”

“Sorry, but I’m tapping out too. I don’t have the stomach for it tonight.” Hunk agreed hastily, knocking the table in his effort to get up. They left too, leaving Lance and Keith sitting alone at the table. It was a bit out of the ordinary, considering Keith was usually the first to leave when Lance came back from a sexcapade, but whatever. Maybe Keith would thank him for taking one for the team and getting Lady Monu off his back.

Lance turned to suggest just that, but then he hesitated. Keith’s hands were curled into tight fists in his lap, shaking with what was possibly anger. His expression was unreadable, eyes staring blankly at the empty table. Lance frowned, leaning in close and snapping a finger in his gaze, wondering what was wrong.

“You sticking around, huh? You want the nitty gritty on what I was just up to or something?” Lance was just inviting Keith to lay into him now, whether with anger or teasing. It didn’t matter, he was just curious what was going on in Keith’s head right now. He looked so troubled.

Keith slowly looked over at him, biting his bottom lip. Then, his eyes flickered to the dancefloor.

“I’ve been thinking about letting him fuck me.” It was said with such a casual dismissive tone that it took Lance a moment to really register what’d been said. When it hit him, it hit him with the weight of a bag of bricks swung into his gut. He choked on air, following Keith’s line of sight with a sense of urgency bubbling up in his throat.

The “him” in question was a monstrously tall alien, of course complete with rippling muscles and almost off-putting amounts of body hair and basically… he was everything that Lance  _ wasn’t _ . 

“Y-Yeah?” Lance stuttered out, feeling oddly hurt. Here Lance was so hung up on their night together and Keith was only concerned about finding the next one. And sure, in theory Lance had wanted the same, to just put it all behind him and move on, but he  _ couldn’t _ . The difference was the look in Keith’s eyes said he very well could, so seamlessly unaffected and unbothered. No different than he’d ever looked.

How could Keith just stay the same when everything about Lance felt different? Was it practice from all the unemotional one-off hook-ups of his past? Lance could never really divide sex and emotion quite like that, a part of him was always open to it leading off into something more. A hopeless romantic down to his core.

“Mm, he looks like he’d know what he was doing, you know?” Keith mused, paying no mind to Lance. He leaned over the table, chin resting in his palm, long lashes settled low on high cheekbones. He was the picture of inviting, dark eyes following the man’s every movement. Like a spider waiting on a fly to wander into its web. Damn.

Keith turned back to him suddenly, a smirk on his lips. At this point it was pretty clear he was doing this on purpose, getting Lance back for every single time he’d done the same. “I bet he’d be rough about it, too. God, I would feel where he’d been for days.”

“And you like that?” Lance asked, low and awed, undeniably invested no matter how he tried to hide it.

“If I’m going to bottom I want someone who’s gonna make it worth my while.” Keith said, a sultry lilt to his voice, hardly anything more than a heavy whisper. Lance found himself leaning subconsciously closer, craving the heat that was rolling off of Keith in waves. “I’ve messed around with a couple first-timers before, supposed straight guys, they treat me like glass. I need someone who knows their way around to really give it to me _ good _ , you know?”

At this point it was clear Keith was riling him up on purpose, the coy looks in Lance’s direction staged to the point that Lance wanted to kiss that stupid pout off his lips. He felt it like a physical break when the last of his self-control gave out and he slid his chair right up to Keith’s side. 

“God, Keith.” Lance chuckled, hand settling on Keith’s thigh before he could stop himself. He squeezed, palm running back and forth over the smooth material of the tuxedo pants, hesitating each time his fingers would get too close to Keith’s lap. He felt the urge to haul Keith up by his hips and take him right there on the obnoxious glass party table, screw whoever happened to see. 

When Keith didn’t immediately reject the touch, Lance leaned in close and rested his head on Keith’s shoulder. He kissed the base of his neck, light and fleeting, testing the waters. Keith tensed, but he didn’t outright reject it either. Lance smirked into the collar of his suit, whispering to him. “I want you _ so _ badly.”

And then, like Keith had been waiting for him to admit to it since the second their last encounter had ended a week ago, everything flipped upside down. He shoved Lance back into his own seat, eyes flashing with anger now instead of the perfectly alluring look from before.

“You want  _ me _ ? Weird, you seemed awfully interested in someone else thirty seconds ago.”

“Are you _ jealous _ ?” Lance blurted, before he could stop himself. Keith recoiled and Lance immediately regretted the blunt question. He knew he had to be careful with this sort of thing, that the very second Keith felt cornered or ridiculed for his emotions he would lash out and that’d be the end of it. 

Lance kept his grip on Keith’s thigh tight though, rubbing back and forth in soothing little movements. Keith continued to pout, turning his head to stare pointedly toward his potential alien hook-up from before. 

Lance’s heart stuttered as it sped up, realizing that maybe he wasn’t so alone with his confusing mixed feelings. He needed to know more. He just couldn’t let Keith know how urgently he wanted to. So, he laid it on thick, his voice smooth and playful. “Aw, Keith, come on. You know the rules, what we had was commitment-free. I warned you it’s easy to fall in love with me.”

“I don’t  _ want _ a commitment!” Keith argued immediately, like the mere idea was offensive. Lance tried to ignore the way that stung, reminding himself that he was pretty sure he didn’t want one either. 

“Well, I don’t either!”

“Good!

“Great!” Lance hissed, debating just getting up and leaving. He was acting weird tonight and as much as Lance hated the idea of that buff guy from before going home with Keith tonight, he wasn’t sure how much of this he could take before it did regress into a fight. He couldn’t ruin the party because he didn’t know how to talk to Keith.

He started to get to his feet, but then Keith had him plopping back down at a moment’s notice with just six words.

“I _ just  _ want to get fucked.”

“I could make that happen.” Lance said hastily, his hand falling right back to where it’d been before and then a little bit higher.

“Yeah? What happened to the rules you’re so intent on following? Commitment-free  _ and _ it was only allowed to happen  _ once _ .” Keith snarked back immediately, throwing Lance’s words back in his face in that mocking tone that usually led to an argument. However, usually Lance’s hand wasn’t fitted around his growing arousal when that tone was used, so maybe they’d take a different path with it tonight.

Ignoring the challenge in Keith’s voice, Lance plastered on his smoothest smile.

“Come on, Keith.” Lance whispered, low and husky. Keith glowered in response, but Lance could feel the way he shifted closer, chasing after Lance’s touch. “I know you want me, your little legs are shaking with it. Bet they’re thinking about how good I felt between them.”

“Doesn’t matter what I want, it’s a bad idea.” Keith muttered, rolling his eyes. That was an answer in itself, the way Keith had just let that stupid line go without question, hadn’t even bothered to call Lance out on it. He had to want it  _ bad _ to go along with Lance’s games.

Confidence thoroughly boosted, Lance saw no reason to hold back anymore.

“Then tell me why it feels so damn good?” Lance continued, leaning in close so he could ghost his breath over the shell of Keith’s ear, just barely close enough to feel. Keith shifted, shrugging his shoulders. Lance quirked an eyebrow, pointedly squeezing around the lewd outline in Keith’s pants to prove his point. The punched-out gasp he earned in response was exactly what he’d wanted to hear.

He leaned down, hesitantly brushing his lips over Keith’s jaw and then his neck. He glanced away frequently, trying to make sure no one they knew could see them, but not so invested that he was willing to stop kissing Keith altogether. He’d wanted this for days, couldn’t get the memory of Keith’s smooth skin out of his mind.

Keith gave in eventually, tilting his head to the side so Lance could suck and nip at his neck properly. It wasn’t exactly the most mature of displays and sure, more than one person looked their way and immediately turned to start whispering, but Lance didn’t care. He couldn’t. He couldn’t be bothered to care about a damn thing when Keith was in his arms, whimpering in his ear and grinding shallowly against the palm of his hand. The heat was tangible and it’d burned the last of Lance’s sensible brain cells down to ash.

Before he’d even fully realized what he was doing, he was trying to dip his fingers beneath Keith’s waistband to get a hand around him. Luckily for the both of them, Keith at least had the sense to grab his wrist and stop him there, no matter how Lance whined. “I’d take such good care of you, give it to you any way you wanted. I could fuck you better than he ever could.”

It was in that moment that Lance came to the realization that Keith had no better self-control than he did, that the reason they’d stopped before going any further in public was less to do with decency and more to do with the fact Keith was  _ pissed _ . God, the heat burning between them definitely wasn’t just lust, the way Keith’s nails dug into his wrist said it all.

“I don’t know how much stamina you think you have, but you were literally _ just  _ with someone else, Lance. You’re all talk and no game, there’s no way you could keep up with me right now. I need it hard and fast. I don’t wanna be able to think right now.” Keith said, short and to the point, no doubt trying to seem intimidating. 

And it was! Intimidating, that is. It was also… really incredibly attractive to the point that Lance was suddenly resisting the urge to reach into his own pants in public like some kind of  _ heathen _ . 

Damn it, if this was jealous Keith then maybe Lance needed to flirt with other people more. He wasn’t sure what turn of events had led to Keith actually caring when that happened all of the sudden, but hell if he wasn’t gonna make the most of it. He stared, dumbfounded and a little bit awed, until suddenly Keith let go of him and abruptly got to his feet.

Lance snapped out of his reverie right quick when he realized where Keith was headed. He scrambled out of his chair, rushing after him.

“Keith.” Lance laughed, forced and tinny, desperation heavy in his voice. Surely Keith had watched him chase after women just like this, which was maybe why he seemed so completely unbothered. He gave Lance no reaction whatsoever, simply stayed on path toward exactly where Lance didn’t want to see him go. Maybe he was bluffing? God, he’d better be bluffing. “Keith, please? You don’t really wanna go home with _ him _ , do you?”

Keith stopped walking finally, turning back to Lance with a bored expression. Behind him stood the man from before, towering over them both now that they were closer. The idea of Keith going home with this stranger felt wrong on a multitude of levels, and not just because Lance was currently so worked up the thought of going home alone hurt. It just… didn’t feel right. 

Seeing Keith chase after stress relief instead of a genuine connection had always seemed like it was just the way things were, something that Lance had no say in. And maybe he still didn’t, but after having the chance to be with Keith physically, he couldn’t help but think that his friend deserved a lot more than that.

Keith looked at him in exasperation, glancing between him and the stranger as if the decision was so difficult to make. Lance stood there hopefully, giving his best winning smile and a pair of incredibly untimely thumbs up. If nothing else, Keith seemed amused by how utterly lost he felt in the situation. He laughed, an honest little giggle that had Lance feeling like he’d just won the world.

And that was when Lady Monu yelled Lance’s name across the entire dancefloor and drew the attention of most the room.

“Lance! Come here! It’s important! I think I’m in love now!” Lance stared toward her, his face scrunching up in disgust. Beside him, Keith closed himself off quicker than a slammed door. He took a step back, shoulders hiked up toward his ears he was so tense.

“I’m gonna go.”

“Keith, it’s not what you th-”

“I _ think  _ she’s looking for you, so you shouldn’t leave her waiting.” Keith stated matter-of-factly, looking none-too-impressed with the information he was relaying. Lance frowned, unable to decipher the strange way Keith was looking at him. He turned away before he could fully uncode the mixed emotions, staring pointedly toward his target of the night. “I’m gonna be busy for the rest of the night anyway.”

Lance cringed, watching helplessly as Keith stalked off toward the burly alien from before. 

If he’d only told the truth he wouldn’t be in this mess. In his efforts to pry Lady Monu off of Keith and get rid of the ugly feeling in his gut, he’d only made it a hundred times worse. Was this what Keith had been feeling? The ugly jealousy he felt right now? It no longer seemed hot and sexy like it’d looked on Keith, now it just felt like a garbage emotion for a fitting garbage person.

Who was Lance to care what Keith did with his body and who he went home with? Lance didn’t own him, they’d had a one night stand. Lance had no more say in Keith’s sex life than any of the strangers he went home with. He was a fool to think otherwise. He just had to accept that and move on, like Keith had.

And it seemed like a good idea in theory, but in practice it failed horribly. The party was far from over yet and every turn Lance made, Keith would be standing there with his hook-up of the night. It was almost uncanny how many times Lance ran into the two of them. At first it was easy enough to dismiss it as his usual absolutely terrible luck, but as the night progressed and Keith grew drunker by the hour… his sense of discretion waned.

It quickly became obvious that Keith was doing all of this on purpose. He was chasing Lance around the party like a damn lost puppy in a desperate bid at getting a reaction. Every time their eyes met, Keith would make a point to bring the attention back to his new man. What had seemed like showing off at first was now very clearly Keith trying to rile Lance up. Knowing what was going on made it slightly more embarrassing that it was somehow _ still _ working.

Lance felt  _ very  _ riled up, damn it.

“Lance! Funny seeing you here.” Keith hummed, leaning against the bar in what was probably meant to be a provocative pose. It looked more like Keith was struggling to stand upright and needed something to hold onto, but Lance wasn’t going to tell him that. He was just gonna let him go on believing he had the upper hand here, that he was playing Lance like a damn fiddle. 

“I’ve been sitting in this same stool for the past hour and I’ve seen you three times since I’ve sat down. I fail to see the humor in that.” Lance pointed out, but there was no bite there. 

“ _ So _ … what do you think of Kulgh.” Keith asked, big doe eyes blinking up at Lance, undoubtedly invested in the answer. Lance watched as Keith twirled a strand of his hair around his finger, trying to appear casual so hard that it hurt.

“I don’t think anything of him.” Lance stated, refusing to give Keith an inch to work with. “I’m neutral.”

“I  _ really _ like him.” Keith stressed, tapping his fingers against the bar.

“So I’ve seen.” Lance said, flashing a quick grin. Keith stood there nodding dumbly in agreement, a hint of cockiness about him that said his drunken self had no idea how badly he was botching it all up. It shouldn’t have been as endearing as it was, watching Keith actively trying to hurt him by making him jealous sounded cruel, but in reality it was just cute. He was trying so hard and so obviously floundering, it was impossible not to enjoy it.

Lance leaned in close, speaking in a hushed whisper. “If you don’t mind me asking, why aren’t you with him right now?”

Keith leaned away quickly, his cheeks darkening into a blush at being called out. He quickly looked over his shoulder, looking anywhere but at Lance really.

“Pfft, I would be. I just lost him in the crowd, that’s all.” Keith insisted, not about to give up. Lance could respect that, even as he turned to see Kulgh himself standing just a few mere feet away from the bar, looking confused like he wasn’t sure why Keith wasn’t with him instead.

“Keith! There he is!” Lance pointed him out, giving Keith a pat on the back. “Don’t let me keep you two crazy kids from having your fun.”

“You won’t.” Keith huffed, turning and heading for his new friend. Lance watched him go with a hint of a smirk on his face. 

Lance’s amusement was short-lived, however, when Keith greeted the stranger by standing tall on his tippy-toes and crashing their mouths together. It was almost gross, watching the way Keith hung off of the alien and ruthlessly dominated his mouth. There was no doubt in Lance’s mind that he was playing it up simply because Lance was watching, but he couldn’t exactly  _ prove  _ that.

Maybe it was on him for not being honest about what’d happened with Lady Monu, but Keith had been so insistent that what they had was over… how was Lance supposed to know that he’d react like this? He was feeling his own fair amount of mixed emotions right about now, but Keith was the one who’d started this whole sweeping them under the rug and pretending it was all in the past! Lance was just playing along. He thought that was what he was supposed to do.

Their kiss stretched on for an annoying length of time before Keith finally pulled back. Lance tried not to feel the relief that swamped him, but it was a losing battle. Whether he wanted to admit to it or not, he hated seeing Keith with other people. He’d never particularly liked it, but this was something else entirely. He  _ hated _ it.

Keith wiped the back of his hand across his mouth, taking a step back. Then, without even taking a second to compose himself, he turned to stare in Lance’s direction. Their eyes met, Lance’s wide and filled with disbelief, Keith’s narrowed and determined. There was an unspoken challenge there, a glint in Keith’s eyes that said he’d been hoping to find Lance staring back at him.

Then, without even breaking  _ their  _ eye contact, Keith spoke to Kulgh instead.

“Hey, do you wanna get out of here?” He asked, trailing his hand up the plane of the other man’s chest in invitation. Lance looked away before he had to witness Kulgh’s answer, he already knew what it would be anyway. No one in their right mind would reject an offer like that.

Lance stared down at the bar, dismally wondering if maybe he should order a few more drinks. He’d been trying to stay on his best behavior for everyone else’s sakes, but he needed to do something to pass the time. He really didn’t feel like trying to meet anyone new tonight.

He was about to get up and go looking for Hunk when a hand settled on his back, rubbing a soothing circle between his tense shoulders. Keith leaned in close, close enough that he could whisper without the risk of anyone else overhearing him.

“Lance.” Keith hummed, patting Lance’s back. “I’ll catch up with you later, okay?”

Any other time, this might have been normal for them. It wasn’t unusual for Keith to check-in with Lance from time to time, or when he left the party for the night. The difference was when he was leaving with a guy. In those instances he was always quick and discreet, he never announced his departure to anyone until the next morning at breakfast when everyone asked where he’d been.

This? This was just to gauge Lance’s reaction, make sure he was blatantly aware of what Keith was going to spend the night doing.

“Oh, I bet you will.” Lance grumbled, turning to watch as Keith left. Klugh had an arm around his waist and they were leaning into each other, antsy to get away from the party. Lance glared after them both, tapping his fingers against the bar. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance, my good bitch, are you starting to catch feelings?? Huh?? U little slut??? Is your heart growing 3 sizes???
> 
> Thanks for reading, leave me a fuckin comment i'm VERY lonely.
> 
> https://twitter.com/MelancholyMango  
> http://melancholymango.tumblr.com  
> http://miscreantmango.tumblr.com (nsfw)  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1Og5Tg_Jyo


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> smut this chapter, my dudes!!

Lance couldn’t sleep that night. He tossed and turned in his bed, wide awake and glaring at the alarm settled on his bedside table. The hours changed one by one until it was well past the time that everyone else had gone to bed. Lance tried to convince himself to just try harder, to stay where he was and squeeze his eyes shut until sleep had no choice but to take him.

He didn’t want to give in to the angry jealousy churning over and over in his stomach, but he couldn’t help it. All he could think about was what Keith was doing, how he’d looked at Lance before he left the party. It was almost like he wanted a reaction, wanted Lance to follow him out and steal him back from that other guy. And hell, had Lance ever wanted to.

He gave in.

Lance strolled down the long hallway until he reached the cockpit, unsurprised to see that the black lion wasn’t back just yet. He climbed into Red and got comfortable in the pilot’s seat, fixating on all the new emotions he was experiencing. Nevermind what Hunk said, Lance definitely wasn’t falling for Keith. He just wanted sex and every second Keith spent having sex with someone else narrowed down his possibilities. That’s why he was jealous.

When the black lion did arrive home, it was late into the night. Lance had grown bored chatting away to Red, so it came as a massive relief when the large bay doors opened and Keith maneuvered his lion into its usual space. Lance was out of his seat in an instant, starting toward the hulking lion. It loomed over him menacingly, like it was aware of his intentions and was far from approving. Maybe a part of Shiro’s soul still lingered inside and was about to unleash a can of whoop-ass on Lance for what he was about to do to his little brother.

Lance leaned against the black lion’s paw nonchalantly, watching with a smirk as the ramp lowered down and Keith followed shortly after. He seemed groggy and distracted, yawning loudly as he walked down the ramp. A brief flash of apprehension hit Lance, wondering if maybe he should wait until another time to unleash his revenge. Keith just looked so soft, so vulnerable in his tired out state. 

Then he thought back to that dark look in Keith’s eyes, all sex and nothing else, directed toward Lance when he had no intentions of following through.

With that in mind, Lance was quick to charge forward. He grabbed Keith’s wrist and hauled him backward, crashing their mouths together. Keith made a startled noise, hand coming up to Lance’s chest as if to land a punch. The punch never came, presumably because Keith had opened his eyes and realized what was going on. Instead, his hand flattened out, gripping the front of Lance’s sleep shirt to pull him closer.

Lance gripped his hips, nails digging in to the soft flesh exposed beneath the hem of Keith’s hastily thrown-on shirt. He backed them up until Keith was the one with his back pressed to the black lion’s leg, then deepened the kiss even further now that Keith had nowhere left to go. He licked into Keith’s mouth, growling low in the back of his throat as a rare streak of possessiveness overcame him.

He hated the idea of someone else doing this same thing, getting to have Keith just like this.

“Wh-” Keith said, when they briefly pulled apart to catch their breath. Lance quickly shushed him, pressing a kiss to his jaw, then his neck. He trailed downward, smirking when Keith’s question broke off into a breathy whine of approval. His hands landed on Lance’s butt, squeezing and groping under the guise of pulling him closer. “F-Fuck.”

“You smell like him.” Lance huffed, a hint of petulance to his voice. He rocked his hips forward then, grinding against Keith’s thigh. He was only wearing boxers and any other time he’d be mindful of the nice suit that Keith was miraculously wearing, but right now he didn’t care. “Was he good, Keith?”

“I have  _ no idea  _ what you’re talking a-” Keith started, trying to copy Lance’s oblivious act from before. It didn’t go over quite as well, all things considered. Lance bit down sharply on the juncture of Keith’s neck and drove his hips forward harder, rutting their bodies together messily right there in the middle of the loading bay. 

“Did he give it to you hard? Fuck you into the mattress like you wanted?” Lance snapped. Keith took it like a champ, even moaned encouragingly like he was  _ enjoying _ the rough handling. Lance wasn’t even sure if that’d fully been his intention from the start, he’d been so blinded by anger and jealousy that he hadn’t really even considered chasing after  _ pleasure _ . But now that Keith was making those pleased little noises in his ear, it was a lot harder to forget about it.

He gripped Keith’s hips again, hands sliding downward to his thighs instead. Lance lifted Keith with a little bit of difficulty, pushing him back against the black lion’s leg with force now, grinding roughly between Keith’s legs where he held them apart. This time the reaction was not quite as positive, a quiet yelp and deft fingers tugging sharply at Lance’s hair.

“Ah, careful.” 

“Sore, huh?” Lance mumbled, burying his face in Keith’s neck. The whole plan to stake a claim on Keith like a weirdly territorial dog was immediately forgotten, rendered stupid the second Lance realized he wasn’t putting Keith first. It didn’t matter how all of that had made Lance feel earlier, he wasn’t going to take out his frustrations through sex, not if Keith wasn’t enjoying it too.

Rather than voicing his apology, Lance peppered light kisses all across Keith’s neck and jaw, just barely enough pressure to feel. Keith sighed, leaning into the touch.

“I’d love to see you try and take an alien cock then not feel sore afterward.” Keith chuckled, sounding a million miles away with how distracted he was. Lance placed a final firm kiss on his cheek before pulling back to look him in the eye. Lance carefully lowered him back onto his feet. Keith gripped his shoulder for support, making no effort to put space between them even when he was standing on his own. Lance smiled.

“Well, I’ve been _ trying  _ to.”

“ _ Shut-up _ .” Keith groaned, giggling into Lance’s neck in the soft way he had after the first time they messed around. Lance was quickly coming to recognize it as a sort of soft that Keith could only be after sex, when he was worn-out and content to his core. 

“Make me.” Lance challenged, sticking his tongue out. The words themselves were airy and playful, nothing they hadn’t said to each other a million times before. But Lance knew that his face said it all, from the hopeful gaze to the shy blush on his cheeks. He knew what he was asking for, he had no doubt Keith realized as well.

Keith looked up at him boredly, slowly taking in Lance’s expression. He turned away then, starting out of the room. Lance trailed after him uncertainly. 

“I was literally the most satisfied I’d been in weeks and now because of your teasing I’m going to bed frustrated anyway.”

“Who said I was teasing?” Lance asked, jogging forward to keep pace with Keith. He slid an arm around the shorter boy’s waist, tugging him in close to his side. He leaned in, brushing his lips against the shell of Keith’s ear as he spoke. “I want you, Keith.”

“ _ Lance _ , we can’t keep doing this.” Keith groaned, though Lance didn’t miss the way he reached down to readjust the front of the tight tuxedo pants he was wearing. Lance snickered, but he backed off. Keith did seem pretty tired out, in all honesty. And as much as he hated to admit it and didn’t want to play by the rules after how Keith had played him earlier, he’d made a promise that this was only going to happen once. 

He wasn’t gonna push it, even if he was pretty sure Keith wanted it just as badly earlier at the party. As long as one of them could be the mature one at any given time, they’d be okay.

“Alright.” Lance nodded agreeably. “You’re right. We set out very clear rules last time and I’m being pretty shit about following them. I’m sorry.”

“Thank-you.” Keith sighed in relief, looking down at his feet. He was blushing now, like this moment made him more vulnerable than he’d been pressed up and ravaged against the black lion’s paw. Lance shook his head fondly. The anger had drained from his body now, replaced with a simple sort of admiration.

“I’ll walk you back to your room?” Lance offered, his arm still settled around Keith’s waist. Keith squinted toward him suspiciously and Lance held his hands up in a truce. “No ill intentions, I swear, you’re just kinda limping a little bit and I figured you might appreciate a shoulder to lean on.”

Keith froze in his tracks so suddenly that Lance almost tripped over his own feet with the resounding shock. He turned to Keith in exasperation, getting whiplash with how all over the place the other boy was being. Keith stared back at him thoughtfully, before finally grabbing his wrist and turning them back around.

“Come on.” Keith ordered, leaving lots of information to be desired. And yet Lance didn’t even hesitate to trail along obediently beside him, curiosity getting the better of him. 

Keith led him back to the black lion and then inside, the small room illuminated by a purple sort of glow that made it feel dark and sexy. Keith let go of his hand once they were inside, heading toward the pilot chair. Lance was dumbly admiring his surroundings—having only been inside this lion a couple times—when a bundle of fabric hit him upside the head. 

He caught it before it hit the ground, which left him staring at Keith’s pants bunched up in his hands. 

“... Keith?”

“You came onto me. I’m horny again. You’re gonna take care of it.” Keith told him, leaving no room for argument really. Lance smirked to himself, tossing the pants onto the floor and finally, finally looking over at Keith. He looked a little bit ridiculous, if Lance was being honest. Sitting cross-legged and pantless in the pilot chair of an all-powerful war machine, half-unbuttoned white dress shirt hanging from his shoulders that he was making no effort to remove the rest of the way. He looked flustered and nervous, for how certain the command had been.

And God, Lance had never wanted him more.

He crossed the cockpit in two long strides, hands landing on the arms of the chair as he leaned over Keith. They kissed briefly, hot and desperate, panting into each other’s mouths already as the flame between them ignited again. They spoke between kisses as Lance desperately tried to undress without breaking away for longer than a second.

“How do you want me?” A husky voice, an approving groan, a sleep-shirt ripped hastily over Lance’s head, and then another kiss.

“Suck me off.” Keith gasped the moment they pulled apart, hands cupping Lance’s face and drawing him back in again. Lance struggled to keep from dropping to his knees right then, kiss be damned.

“Fuck, Keith.” Lance whispered urgently against his lips, a whimper he would very much deny ever happening slipping out. He just wanted this so badly, especially earlier when he was forced to watch Keith with someone else. Now it felt like it was all worth it. He had another chance to prove himself, to prove he was better and he should be the one Keith came to when he needed someone.

Surprisingly, Keith was the one to pull away from the kiss first. Lance looked down between them, to where Keith was sheepishly pushing his boxers down his thighs. Lance quickly grew impatient and helped him out, hooking his fingers under the waistband and yanking them down to Keith’s ankles in one smooth movement. 

He dropped to his knees then, getting a front-row seat view of Keith spreading his legs. He hooked his knees over the armrests on either side of the chair, leaving himself completely on display. Lance groaned, watching as Keith brought his hands down to spread his cheeks apart further, giving Lance a perfect view of his dusky pink hole.

“I don’t want to hear a peep about you, I need some time to think about this.”

“If you’re able to think while I’m doing this, then I’m not doing a good enough job.” Lance muttered, shuffling closer on his knees. Traces of lube still shone against Keith’s pale skin, the lighting reflecting off the slickness covering Keith’s thighs. It must have been a hasty departure, Keith running for the door the second he’d gotten off. Lance smirked, deciding already that he would do better.

“Ha, yeah, talk yourself up like that and you’re just setting me up for disapp-” Keith remarked coldly, no doubt trying to knock Lance’s ego down a peg or two. Any other time Lance might have risen to the challenge and insulted him back, but Lance decided to put his mouth to better use.

He leaned over Keith, wrapping a hand around the base of his rapidly hardening cock and holding it steady. Lance looked up through his lashes, watching for the reaction as he wrapped his lips around the head and sucked hard. Keith keened, head tipping back, no doubt trying to hide the way his face screwed up with pleasure. “ _ Oh _ .”

“Hm?” Lance hummed curiously, without bothering to pull off of Keith’s cock. He was enjoying himself already, the taste of salty pre-cum against his tongue oddly familiar. He lathed his tongue across the tip of Keith’s cock, first flattening it out and dragging it haphazardly across the sensitive head, then curling it to a point and prodding teasingly at the slit. Keith was squirming, desperately trying to get away from the assault and keep from making anymore noises.

Taking pity on him, Lance relented and tucked his tongue against the underside of Keith’s cock. He moaned when Keith’s hips immediately bucked up to try and forcibly shove himself deeper inside, impatience growing after Lance’s teasing. Lance’s lips slid down Keith’s shaft to meet where his fist was wrapped around the base. He bobbed up and down a few times, each downward bob going impossibly further until Keith’s cock was all but disappearing into Lance’s mouth. 

Finally, as he felt the tip hit the back of his throat for the first time, Lance swallowed around it.

“Ah, fuck! Lance, you bastard!” Keith cursed vehemently, taken too far too quickly, bordering on the edge of overstimulation. Lance resisted the urge to laugh around a mouthful of cock and instead pulled off, rubbing the saliva on his chin off with the back of his hand. He giggled, feeling bubbly and oddly proud, watching Keith desperately try to compose himself. “I thought you were  _ new _ to this!”

“Say a  _ big _ thank-you to the tentacle aliens I’ve slept with.” Lance grinned smugly, not a trace of shame. If the long groan of annoyance was anything to go by, Keith wasn’t as amused as Lance by this. 

“God, you’re disgusting. I can’t even tell if you’re joking or not.” 

“There’s nothing to joke about Keith. I fuck aliens, there’s no telling what you’re gonna see when they drop their pants, I’ve gotta be flexible.” Lance relayed the information easily, grinning up at him. Keith looked like he might just close up shop, shove his pants back on and get the hell out of there. In the end, he didn’t. He sighed in resignation and relaxed back in his seat, grabbing Lance’s hair and tugging him forcibly closer again.

Lance went willingly, pretty confident at this point that he would willingly die smothered by Keith’s muscular thighs if he had the chance.

“You look good like this.” Keith told him, watching as Lance got comfortable again. He was prepared to be on his knees for much longer this time, had even grabbed Keith’s bunched up pants to slide them underneath himself. As fun as it was to show off his skills and see how fast he could make Keith come undone, he wanted to make the most of this.

“You look good all the time.” Lance quipped back easily, as if it was one of their usual back and forth fights, despite the fact they were now complimenting each other instead of insulting. The transition was oddly easy. Lance thought he could maybe get used to this.

“Are you gonna go back to sucking my dick or do I have to beg for it?”

“Hm, actually-”

“If you ask me to beg I’m gonna kick you out of this lion and finish myself off.” 

“Duly noted.” Lance answered quickly, patting Keith’s inner thigh. He shifted closer then, licking his lips and then leaning in to kiss the tip of Keith’s erection. Keith was more tense than before though, like he wanted to bolt from the chair at any second. Lance could feel it in the way his thighs shook on either side of him.

With a sigh, Lance turned and began to suck and kiss at his thighs instead, taking his time leading up to things. “Just lie back and relax. I’ll take care of you. I’ll be gentle this time. I won’t rush, I know you’re sensitive.”

“Loser.” Keith grumbled, but there was no denying the way he visibly relaxed. “What’s next, pet names?”

“Sure thing, baby.” Lance responded lightly, winking up at Keith. 

He held true to his word, taking Keith into his mouth again and slowly working his lips over his length. His hand came down, fondling Keith’s balls as he sucked on his cock. It was borderline obscene, Lance’s lips stretched so wide to accommodate the thick cock, saliva shining wetly against their skin wherever it met.

Keith was making soft noises of approval now, gently rolling his hips in an effort to encourage Lance to go faster. Lance knew exactly what he wanted, but continued the agonizingly slow pace just to be a little shit. It came as no surprise at all when Keith’s fingers threaded through his hair a moment later, tugging and pulling insistently until Lance got with the memo and sped up.

Lance took him down his throat, up and down, enjoying the heavy weight of Keith’s cock rubbing against his tongue. He swallowed repeatedly, eagerly awaiting the second Keith would spill in his mouth and he could taste it. None of the aliens he’d been with like this had been all that anatomically similar, he’d never experienced someone shooting cum down his throat, but now he wanted it. He wanted it so badly that it hurt.

He reached down, discreetly wrapping a hand around himself and jerking himself off with rushed little flicks of his wrist. It was easy to work himself to the edge, especially as he watched Keith slowly starting to come undone above him. He was enamoured with the sight, the soft whimpers and whines, the way Keith’s eyelashes fluttered as he tried and failed to keep his eyes open, the sight of the sharp points of his fangs digging into his bottom lip and drawing blood. Lance sucked harder, wanting to lick that away too. He wanted to do everything that had anything to do with Keith.

Lance pulled off with a slick noise, ignoring Keith’s loud groan of annoyance.

“Hey, can I try something different?”

“Depends. If it’s more of this working me to the edge of orgasm and then not seeing it through, I want nothing to do with it.”

“I said different, not more of the same.” Lance joked, rolling his eyes dramatically. 

“Whatever.” Keith continued to sulk, glaring down at him. 

Lance decided that was the closest thing to an approval he was probably going to get without explaining further. So, he moved his free hand from where it’d been resting on Keith’s thigh, trailing his fingers down until he could trace the rim of Keith’s stretched out entrance. His fingertip caught easily given how slick and stretched Keith was, but he didn’t push it inside yet. He bit his lip hard, trying to keep it under control until he got the official go ahead.

“Is this okay?”

“I’m not taking another dick tonight.” Keith told him plainly, suiting him with an unimpressed stare for even asking. Lance snorted in his effort to hold back laughter. He shook his head hurriedly, brushing his messy hair back from his eyes.

“I know, I wouldn’t want to push you like that anyway.” Lance reassured him. Keith eyed him curiously, his gaze narrowing even further when Lance leaned in to lavish his inner thighs with soft kisses. He started his way up to Keith’s tummy too, but was quickly shut down with a blunt palm on his forehead pushing him away. He snickered, not at all surprised that Keith wasn’t the affectionate type.

“Go slow and be generous with the lube.” Keith relented, maybe just to stop Lance from showing him any kind of tenderness at all. Lance leaned back, watching in amusement as Keith fished a small bottle of lube out from underneath his pilot chair. Lance debated asking questions or teasing, but quickly decided that he didn’t want to jinx himself when he was already so close to what he wanted.

So he stayed perfectly silent, smiling as he grabbed the bottle from Keith’s hands and began slicking up his fingers. Once his hand was thoroughly coated and practically dripping an excess of lube, he tentatively reached back down to ease a finger into Keith. He watched as Keith’s body hungrily sucked him inside, muscles bearing down hard around the intrusion.

It didn’t take long for Keith to start urging him along, telling him to give him more and to give it harder. A second finger joined the first, scissoring and stretching Keith out despite the fact he was still relatively loose from what he’d been doing before. The mere thought of it had Lance speeding up, eager to get the show on the road and prove he could be better than that stranger.

“I’ve been thinking about doing this since the second I walked out of your room that night. After you brought it up it was all I could think about.” Lance said conversationally, as he leaned in close and exhaled hot air across Keith’s most intimate place. Keith was squirming, both closer and further away like he couldn’t make up his mind yet. The color on his cheeks had spread down his chest, his entire body seemed lit up in a pleasant flush. 

Lance licked his lips, driving his fingers forward and curling them pointedly. Keith moaned, low and guttural, so caught up in the pleasure his efforts to keep the noises in were momentarily forgotten. And the sound was so beautiful that Lance immediately vowed to make sure he heard it again and again. 

He leaned down, teasingly flicking his tongue across Keith’s hole, spread wide around his two fingers. It was immediately clear that Keith hadn’t been exaggerating how much he liked this. His thighs closed, bracketing Lance’s head and forcing him to stay where he was as Keith’s hips rocked back against his face. Lance managed to squirm free, if only to smugly look up at Keith’s utterly wrecked expression. 

“Lance,” Keith breathed, his voice holding a warning. Lance ignored it, smirking as he eased his fingers out of Keith, taking his touch away completely. Keith whined in annoyance, the noise cutting off into a quiet gasp when Lance ducked his head and went back to licking around his entrance. 

“I wanna feel you come around my tongue. Get you so wet you’re begging me to fuck you for real. God, you’d look so good stuffed full of cock.” Lance’s voice had dropped into something dark and suggestive, a promise that he was going to make good on all the things he was saying. He had every intention of kneeling here between Keith’s legs until he had him near sobbing with overstimulation, desperate to come. Maybe that jealousy and anger from before was making a surprise reappearance, but at least now he was taking out his frustrations in productive ways.

“Lance, stop messing around or I’m going to go get the vibrator and fuck myself.” Keith snapped impatiently, the annoyed tone a far stretch from actually begging. Lance decided to let it slip anyway, if only because he was impatient to get this show on the road too. He hadn’t been kidding about wanting this since the moment Keith had brought it up. 

“Bossy.” He chastised playfully, before finally giving in to what they both wanted. He traced his tongue around Keith’s rim before easing it inside, making sure Keith felt every bit of the stretch.

“Oh, f-fuck, yeah, just like that. You’re good at this. So good at this.” Keith praised, his voice breaking off into a moan. It wasn’t all that difficult for Lance to get into it just as much as Keith probably was, his own erection hard and aching where it rested against his thigh. It wasn’t his fault, what with the feeling of muscular thighs on either side of his head, Keith’s fingers tugging roughly at his short hair, and the _ noises _ … he had no hope in hell of holding it together.

God, he’d finally figured out how to make Keith stop holding back.  _ These _ were the noises he heard late at night when Keith had someone else in the room over, high and desperate, impatient and needy, not a trace of shame in the way he voiced his pleasure. It was a near constant stream of praise and pleads for more, like he could convince Lance to do exactly what he wanted if he asked for it in that sweet as honey fucked-out voice.

And damn, he was right.

“I need-”

“I got you, baby.” Lance gasped as he pulled back, hurriedly trying to catch his breath. He wrapped a hand around Keith’s pulsing cock, swiping his thumb through the pre-cum beading down the length of it to ease the movements of his hand. He jerked him off quick and distracted, his other hand coming down to give himself the same treatment. 

Keith moaned when Lance licked into him again, long languid curls of his tongue, pressing up against his inner walls and making sure he felt each swipe. Keith rocked back against his face, chasing the feeling each time Lance would pull back. 

“I’m gonna come,  _ Lance _ , I’m gonna-” There was something about hearing Keith moan his name in that particular tone, the one that Lance had heard so many times late into the night and tried in vain not to think of it as the hottest thing he’d ever heard. Things had come full circle now, he finally had Keith spread out in front of him, moaning and gasping his name just like he had all the others. And the heady rush of that realization was enough to send an orgasm barreling toward him at dangerous speeds.

Lance pulled back suddenly, determined not to come before Keith. Of course, Keith had no idea what was going on and immediately cried out in frustration. “Don’t  _ stop _ ?!”

“I need to breathe!” Lance hissed out, gritting his teeth together as he staved off his orgasm. He held his hand tight around the base of his cock, trying to resist the very real urge to just come all over himself like the desperate mess he was when it came to Keith.

“You have a nose!” Keith argued, reaching down to try and pull Lance closer again. Lance leaned away, shaking his head and heaving for breath. He was starting to come down now, as painful as putting it off had been. Keith stared at him in confusion, before realization dawned across his features. Lance hung his head, prepared for the inevitable shaming. “Oh my god, I’m sleeping with a mouth breather.”

“That’s not it! You think I could give head like that if I needed my mouth to breathe?” Lance defended himself, glaring up at Keith. Keith was back to looking lost now, also the slightest bit pissed off as his chest rapidly rose and fell, his own orgasm put off in the process of Lance holding himself together. Lance sighed, guiltily looking down at his lap. “No, I was just… you know, getting close. I didn’t want to… before you were finished.”

“You’ve been getting yourself off this whole time?” Keith groaned, head dropping back against the chair.

“You sounded nice? Sue me?” Lance huffed in his defense. “You told me not to  _ talk _ about myself, you didn’t say anything about not being able to touch myself.”

“Figures, you’d be one of those annoying people that always look for loopholes.” Keith muttered, before lifting his head and glancing down at Lance. He quirked an eyebrow at Lance’s state, sheepishly holding his cock in hand to keep himself together. “Are you good now?”

“Golden.” Lance bit out, bringing his hands up to Keith’s thighs and guiding strong legs to rest over his shoulders. 

“Great, now hurry it up and-” Keith cut himself off with a pleased sigh as Lance went back to rimming him, now giving his full attention to the act. It didn't take much to work Keith back to where he’d been before, teetering on the precipice of orgasm. Lance had teased enough now that Keith was tense to his core, drawn-tight like a coil ready to spring.

“That’s it, baby, you can let go now.” Lance promised as he pulled back, sucking and biting at Keith’s thighs. Before he could complain about the lack of attention, Lance pressed two fingers back into Keith’s loose and tongue-fucked hole. He crooked them upward, rubbing hard against Keith’s prostate. “You feel so good around my fingers and tongue, I could eat you out all day. So pretty.”

“Fuck me, fuck me, f-” Keith repeated over and over, his breath coming in shaky gasps as he started to come undone. Lance felt like he could come entirely untouched just from watching him, the flex of his abs as his body tensed, rocking back and forth between both of Lance’s hands. He back bent like a bow, arching beautifully as he finally reached his high. “ _ Laaance _ !”

Keith rocked down against Lance’s fingers hard, clenching around them as he came. The groan that tore from his throat was deep and satisfied, and Lance basked in it. White streaked across Keith’s stomach and Lance immediately leaned forward to lick it up, even as Keith continued to writhe in the aftershocks.

“That good?” Lance smirked, pulling away and licking his lips. He rested his head on Keith’s leg, staring up at the other boy with adoration as he came down. He looked completely debauched, skin shining with a thin layer of sweat and hair falling in messy waves at his shoulders. Lance was hit with a strange urge to take care of him, to take him to the nearest tub and clean him up, help him into bed.

“It was okay.” Keith answered then, clearly biting back a smile. Lance glared at him.

“Okay enough to make you scream my name? Did you scream his name? The alien guy?” Lance pried petulantly, pouting up at him. He was about to say some more choice words, but before he could manage to get anything else out, he was suddenly met with a lap full of mostly-naked Keith. He yelped in surprise, Keith’s face suddenly inches from his own. “Oh, woah, hello.”

“Will this take long?” Keith asked, straight to the point as he finally unbuttoned his stupid dress shirt the rest of the way, tossing it aside. It was definitely stained now, but Lance didn’t have the heart to point it out, especially not when he was so distracted. He shook his head slowly. “Good, I’m tired.”

“You don’t have to-”

“Want to.” Keith interrupted him, shaking his head. He shuffled backward then, getting on his hands and knees on the cold floor, leaning over Lance’s lap. Lance yelped with how fast things were moving, quickly grabbing some of their discarded clothes and shoving them toward Keith.

“Put these under yourself.” Lance told him, holding them out between them. Keith paused, looking at him curiously before accepting the offer. Once he was comfortable, he was quick to get back to where he’d been before. He wasn’t quite so to the point now though, taking time to kiss Lance’s neck and chest before going straight for the prize. Lance sighed in relief, leaning his head to the side as Keith’s teeth and tongue worked over his neck.

Eventually, the kisses trailed down lower and by then Lance was comfortable enough with the set-up that all he felt was excitement. He stared down at where Keith’s hair was splayed out across his lap, soft lips just barely brushing the tip of Lance’s cock. He moaned, weaving his fingers through Keith’s hair and simply holding it.

Keith hummed curiously, lavishing Lance’s cock in teasing little kitten licks. Lance wasn’t sure how to tell him that he was well past the point of needing to take things slow and this was only coming across as teasing, so he just sat there and took it. When Keith finally wrapped his lips around the head and sunk down a few inches, Lance’s hips immediately bucked up to meet him. 

Keith pulled off with a wet pop immediately, glowering up at Lance.

“Sorry, I’ll be good from now on.” Lance grinned sheepishly. Keith sighed, going back down and picking up where he’d left off. He sunk down on Lance’s cock, slick heat engulfing it inch by inch. Lance bit down on his fist to keep from making any noises, his other hand clenched hard in Keith’s hair as his head started to bob up and down.

Lance felt himself getting close to the edge in a frankly embarrassing amount of time.

Keith pulled off suddenly and for a moment Lance worried he’d been trying to fuck into his mouth unknowingly again, but the look in Keith’s eyes definitely wasn’t annoyance now. It was a soft sort of reverence, playful and lustful. He held Lance’s gaze as he leaned back down, kissing the tip of his leaking cock, coming away with pre-cum on his lips. He licked it off. “You’re so big, I can only take half before you hit the back of my throat. I wonder how you’d feel splitting me open on your cock, if you’d even _ fit _ .”

“Keith.” 

“What?” Keith asked, eyelashes fluttering with faux innocence. Lance glared at him, his mouth falling open around a soft whine as Keith’s hand started to work over him in his mouth’s place. “Oh, you want that? You wanna push me down and fuck your big cock into me? Make me feel every inch?”

“Close. Really close.” Lance gasped out. Keith looked like he was about to lean back down and finish the job with his mouth, but Lance had other plans. He leaned forward quickly, hand grasping the back of Keith’s neck and pulling him in for a messy kiss. It was wet and desperate, they licked into each other’s mouths, each trying to lead the kiss. It was all over the place and probably a little gross all things considered, but Lance wasn’t worried about any of that. 

Lance moaned into the kiss, feeling like electricity was sparking between them. It was all too hot and too much, and yet Lance didn’t want to stop any of it. 

They broke away from the kiss when Lance started to squirm, thrusting up into Keith’s fist and making constant noises of approval into Keith’s mouth. Lance dropped his head, burying his face in Keith’s neck and simply panting hotly against his skin, Keith’s hand working him to completion. “Mm, Keith. Feels good. So good. Don’t stop.”

Lance didn’t give much warning before he came, his orgasm hitting him suddenly and without much for warning. One second he was tentatively kissing at Keith’s jaw, and the next he was moaning brokenly into his ear, loud and out of his control. He clutched at Keith’s back, nails digging into the soft skin as he rocked through his high. 

He slumped forward the moment he finished, thankful when Keith didn’t just let him fall and instead hesitantly held him to his chest. Lance rested his head against Keith’s shoulder for a long moment as he caught his breath and came down. He quickly decided that he kind of liked it, being held when he was at his most vulnerable. None of his hook-ups or girlfriends had ever done anything like that.

He might have fallen asleep like that, if it weren’t for the moment ruiner that came in the form of a loud yawn bellowing past his lips. Keith groaned, the sound directly in his ear. Lance couldn’t help but laugh, leaning back so they could look each other in the eye. No matter what he said, Lance was convinced that Keith looked at least a little bit amused.

“You were right.” Keith mused, leaning in to press a quick peck to Lance’s lips. Lance’s eyebrows furrowed together, totally lost as to what they were talking about, too caught up in the warm fuzzy afterglow to comprehend much of anything. Keith’s teeth flashed in a wicked smile. “That didn’t take long at all.”

“Rude!” Lance screeched, shoving him backward. Keith laughed evilly all the same, a devious little giggle that only showed itself after some particularly brutal teasing. Lance sulked. He didn’t exactly have a very good track record of lasting when it came to Keith, he just got too into it too quickly. It wasn’t always like that! They didn’t call him loverboy Lance for nothing!

Keith ignored his flustered state, getting to his feet and starting to get dressed. Lance was still debating a way to defend himself when a pale hand appeared in front of his face, fingers snapping impatiently.

“Are you coming?”

“Just did, in case you forgot.” Lance grumbled, curling in on himself in embarrassment. He expected Keith to take another dig at him, but instead a hand settled in his hair and ran comfortingly through it. Deft fingers working out tangles and knots, fluffing it up so it was no longer flattened to his forehead with sweat from their activities before. Lance blinked, peering suspiciously up at Keith. He looked faraway from the moment. “What?”

“You said you were going to walk me back to my room.” Keith said. Lance hesitated for a second before giving in and smiling, taking Keith’s offered hand and getting to his feet.

“Oh.” Lance said, beginning to gather his clothes and slip them on. “Yeah, sure thing.”

The walk back to Keith’s room wasn’t a particularly chatty one. They stayed mostly silent, and Lance couldn’t really tell whether it as in fear of waking up the others or if they really had nothing to say to each other. He had lots to say, he just wasn’t sure how to put it into words, if he knew how. Maybe Keith was going through something similar.

They turned down the hall to where Keith and Lance’s rooms were and that seemed to jumpstart the conversation, the realization that they were running out of time.

“What are you thinking?” Keith asked, his voice quiet like he hadn’t made up his mind yet if he even wanted to speak up. 

“I don’t know? Nothing.” Lance mumbled, risking a sideways glance at Keith. He hesitated, nearly tripping over his feet when he saw the troubled look on Keith’s face. It was impossible to distinguish what exactly was wrong, but he knew that wasn’t a happy face. 

He frowned, deciding that maybe he should elaborate more. “What do you think I’m thinking about after what we just did? I’m thinking about you.”

A beat of silence. A few more steps down the hall. Their rooms growing ever closer.

“You want to do that again, I take it?” Keith asked then, coming to a stop outside his door. Lance’s arm dropped from his waist, uncertain what to do with himself now. Especially with Keith asking questions like that, questions that practically screamed tricks. How was he supposed to answer? Of course he wanted to do it again, why wouldn’t he?

But was that what Keith wanted to hear right now?

“Yeah.” Lance breathed uncertainly, leaning against Keith’s door frame opposite him. Keith’s face stayed infuriatingly unreadable, giving Lance no reprieve from his anxiety. He looked down between them at the hallway floor, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. “Um, can we?”

“Do you think you can handle it?”

“Trust me, I’m the master of no strings attached.” Lance laughed, laying the bravado on thick. If Keith’s only hang up was an uncertainty that Lance would be able to handle it then damn, he would just have to prove him wrong. He could definitely handle a little bit of sex between friends, he’d been handling it fine so far. “If you’re worried about me falling in love with you, it’s not going to happen.”

Keith sucked in a harsh breath then let it out through his mouth, nodding his head slowly, processing the information. Lance couldn’t make sense of a damn thing about his expression, but he hoped this was going well. He really did want to do this again and he would say whatever he had to to make sure it happened.

“If you’re sure.” Keith mumbled, looking up at Lance. “Let’s do it. Just two friends who fuck each other when it’s convenient. That’s it.”

Lance grinned widely, nodding his approval rather eagerly. He’d definitely said the right thing then. So why wasn’t Keight lighting up already, eager for their new arrangement? He looked like a dog being forced to the vet, not someone going into something of their own violation.

“Should we shake on it?” Lance suggested teasingly, eyebrows wiggling with hidden meaning. He felt suddenly determined to lighten the mood, to make Keith smile at least once before going to bed. Keith snorted out a humorless laugh, shaking his head fondly. He turned to his door and pushed it open, looking back over his shoulder at Lance with a bored look.

“Go to bed, Lance.” 

Keith disappeared into his room and Lance stayed standing there for a long moment. He’d gotten what he wanted, this was exactly what he’d been hoping for, they were going to do it again! And yet it didn’t feel like a victory. It didn’t even feel  _ good _ . Why had Keith looked so sad?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The season of me being super busy is now over, huzzah!! I no longer have to make Christmas wreaths 24/7 and now I can get back to my passion of writing weird fics. I had an idea for a vampire fic the other day and I've been thinking nonstop about writing it ever since.
> 
> SMASH that kudos button, leave me some comments down below.
> 
> https://twitter.com/MelancholyMango  
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> http://miscreantmango.tumblr.com (nsfw)


	10. Chapter 10

The thing was, Keith knew what he was getting into when he’d agreed to their arrangement. He knew his emotions were gonna be put through the wringer, he knew that Lance would be on him at all hours of the day, he knew it would hurt having him but not in the way he wanted, he knew it all and he said yes anyway. He said yes because he couldn’t say no, not while he was looking into Lance’s eyes and met with the very real realization this could be the closest he ever got to what he wanted.

So he knew the risks, he knew what he was getting himself into. Well, most of it.

What he’d vastly underestimated was the natural  _ emotional _ closeness that came with having sex with someone you knew. Keith had never really been in a committed relationship, never wanted to be tied down by one until he met Lance. The whole idea of it went against most of the things he’d learnt during his lifetime. The idea of investing so much of yourself into someone else, someone who could leave at any time... It just didn’t seem like his sort of thing. 

Even when he’d first started to develop feelings for Lance, he’d convinced himself he’d never want to act on it. A relationship seemed too constricting, unfamiliar… scary. It was too important and too easy to mess up, especially when Lance claimed to be so much more experienced in the art of love. Keith felt like an idiot any time Lance went on about love and marriage like it was a given, when Keith had spent most of his life believing it was a luxury he was never going to experience.

And as embarrassing as it probably was, this whole arrangement with Lance was the closest Keith had ever made it to that unknown he’d always feared so much. 

They were only two days into the agreement when Lance kissed Keith outside of sex, just a dumb peck on the lips before he went to bed for the night. They’d stared at each other with eyes as wide as saucers until Lance backed out of the room. Keith stood there for much longer after he’d left, fingertips glued to his lips. After that they came to an unspoken agreement that kissing was only to happen during sex.

Four days in and Lance fell asleep in Keith’s bed for the first time. Keith couldn’t really blame him, they’d been playing around with the idea of who could last the longest and that’d ended in an awful self-edging competition that left them both exhausted and eventually really satisfied. Lance was out like a light pretty much the second he came and Keith didn’t have the heart to wake him, so he slept curled up on the very edge of his mattress and blushing like a schoolgirl.

The fifth day brought Keith the very surreal experience of waking up next to someone. He woke up half an hour before Lance did and spent every one of those minutes lying there without moving an inch, in fear of waking him up. Keith’s arm was asleep and his leg was hanging half off the bed, and somehow… he’d never been more comfortable. After that he suggested that they just sleep in the same room every night after they had sex… to minimize the chances of getting caught sneaking back to their own rooms with walk of shame written all over their faces. It was a piss poor excuse and he knew it, but Lance went along with it anyway.

Today marked the tenth day and Keith had decided he needed some space. He went to bed with Lance, woke up next to him, and spent every waking moment of the day within arm’s reach of him. It didn’t really come as much of a surprise, he’d seen the way Lance was with women he was interested in. It was all or nothing with him and right now he was definitely giving Keith his all.

Keith found a particularly boring corner of the castle and curled up to spend the day there. Lance had said he was spending some time with Hunk today, so he should have at least a few hours alone to catch his breath. It felt like he hadn’t been able to breathe properly in days, always tense around Lance in fear of messing things up.

It was early evening when Lance did show up, strolling tiredly into the room.

“What’s up?” Lance asked, collapsing onto the couch next to him. Keith shrugged his shoulders, flicking to the next page of the book he was reading. An arm settled around his shoulders a few moments later, Lance’s body weight pressing into his side, heat radiating off of him. Keith swallowed harshly, trying to concentrate on his book. 

“Lance, what do you want?”

“I was  _ thinking _ we could do something together.” Lance drawled, fingertips tracing Keith’s bare arm in tantalizing little movements. They’d gone down this road enough times that Keith knew exactly what he was after. Keith sighed, eyes darting to Lance’s lap.

“Are you serious? I got you off this morning.”

“Yes, but I’m not used to having this much opportunity. Can you blame me for wanting to get as much as I can out of my system before you realize what a terrible mistake you’ve made?” Lance grinned devilishly, leaning into his side. Keith stiffened, book quickly forgotten as Lance nuzzled into his neck. It’d yet to get old, having Lance touch him so casually, so affectionately. He wasn’t sure he’d ever get used to it.

“You’re an idiot. Pace yourself or it’s gonna get real boring, real fast.” Keith muttered, but he made no effort to get away from the touch. On the contrary, he tilted his head to the side, practically inviting Lance to mark up his skin and take things somewhere. 

Still, when a pair of lips started mouthing over his Adam’s apple and hands settled high on his thighs, Keith at least had the decency to feel ashamed about it. “Lance, anyone could walk in here.”

“I’m keeping it from getting boring.” Lance quipped back, moving his hands up and down Keith’s thighs, eventually settling at the button of his jeans and popping it open. Keith bit down on his bottom lip to keep from making a sound. Lance had his hand shoved down Keith’s pants in record time, unable to do much more than heavy petting with the constricting skinny jeans still mostly on. Still, it was enough to make Keith feel totally dirty, sitting in the middle of the common room with arousal written all across his face.

Lance noticed his hesitation and pulled his hand free, instead cupping Keith’s jaw and pulling him in for a quick kiss. Despite it being brief and sweet, no hint of sexual urgency able to be detected, Keith knew it was only a means to an end. They didn’t kiss outside of sex after all, Lance clearly still had the same intentions, even if he was going about it nicer. Keith wished it wasn’t working as well as it was.

Lance pulled back, a dazzling smile on his face that Keith couldn’t bring himself to look away from. He had watched Lance smile at so many other lovers just like that and maybe it wasn’t exactly the same, but hell if he wasn’t going to revel in it. “You’re pretty when you blush, I should embarrass you more often.”

“Fine.” Keith huffed out, unable to deny himself any longer. He gripped Lance’s hair and tried to pull him in for a kiss again, but Lance leaned away. That gorgeous smile had been replaced by something smug and self-satisfied.

“Oh, did that work? Are compliments all it takes to get you in the mood? Are we doing this?”

“What do you want to do?” Keith asked, leaning in close. Lance met him halfway, leaving them whispering conspiratorially like a couple of teenagers hiding from their parents.

“Hm…” Lance started, a thoughtful look about him. Keith was already fighting back a grin of his own, having a pretty clear idea of what was coming. Lance had been pretty obvious the past few days, especially in the heat of the moment when his dirty talk gave away everything he really wanted to do to Keith. “Well, as much as I’ve come to love your hands and your mouth, I was thinking… maybe we could take it a little bit further tonight?”

“You wanna go all the way?” Keith gasped, as if he’d been scandalized by this information. Lance rolled his eyes at him, giggling as he grabbed at Keith’s thighs and hauled him into his lap. He peppered kisses across any part of Keith he could reach, the pair of them laughing all the while. 

It was painstakingly romantic, Keith was sure of it. He’d never really experienced romance, but this had to be it, right? Nothing else had ever made his heart feel so full, definitely not a hook-up.

“Gonna run past all the bases and get a homerun.” Lance whispered in his ear, groping at his ass.

“You’re gross.” Keith groaned, but he settled heavily into Lance’s lap now and had no intentions of moving any time soon. He was comfortable and at ease, already wondering why he’d wanted to put space between them to begin with.

“That’s what I like about this, I’m allowed to be gross. I don’t have to worry about what you think about me, I can just act like I always do around you. There’s no pressure.” Lance explained, grinning warmly into the space between them. Keith chuckled, leaning closer despite himself, wanting to kiss that stupid look off of Lance’s face.

“Guys?” They both froze the second someone spoke up outside the door. By the time the mechanical door had swished open and Hunk was stepping through it, Lance had dumped Keith off his lap in one rough movement. Keith lifted his head from where it’d ended up buried in the cushions, blinking dazedly up at Hunk.

“Hunk! Hey!” Lance greeted, giving an awkward wave. “What’s up?”

“Were you two fighting again?” Hunk sighed, reaching up to rub the stress lines from his forehead. Lance laughed it off, decidedly going along with Hunk’s assumption if only to dodge any suspicions. He sat there through the inevitable lecture, even managing to plaster a guilty look onto his face that was somewhat believable. 

Keith watched the whole scene play out from where he’d ended up on the other end of the couch. He blinked rapidly, at first unable to put a name to the ache in his chest. It became clear as Lance rapidly spun a story about what they’d been fighting over, how brutal it’d gotten, desperately trying to cover their tracks like their relationship was the dirtiest secret he’d ever had to keep.

Keith remembered now why he’d wanted to put distance between them.

And when Lance looked back at him, eyes wide and imploring, asking him to just go along with the web of lies he’d spun… Keith flashed a smile and nodded. Who was he to argue? To try and tell Lance how to feel about what they had? Maybe it would never be the same for Lance, maybe Keith would just have to be alone with his feelings forever. It seemed fitting, he’d always been alone before, why should it change now just because he wanted it to? 

He should know by now that things just didn’t work like that.

“I’m sorry to bother you on our day off, but is there any way you two could help me with something I’m working on? I need a couple of willing guinea pigs.” Hunk asked them, once he’d finally finished chastising them for something that hadn’t even happened. Lance immediately frowned, ready to let his buddy down easy. Keith didn’t let him have the chance.

“Yeah, sure. I’m in.” Keith volunteered immediately, ready to put the moment behind him. It didn’t matter how charming Lance was, he’d been right about needing space. He couldn’t keep this up forever, not when he was already so invested.

“I _ guess _ I’m in too.” Lance sighed reluctantly, slumping back against the cushions.

“Awesome! Thanks so much.” Hunk clapped both their shoulders, very clearly ecstatic to find two willing volunteers. He got to his feet, starting out of the room. He paused in the doorway though, hurriedly turning back to them with whatever tidbit of information he’d forgotten. “If you guys own anything rubber, make sure to wear that. I’ll see you in my lab soon!”

Keith nodded, watching as the door slid shut. The moment it clicked into place, Lance let out a long irritated groan. His head fell on Keith’s shoulder, arms crossed poutily over his chest. Keith scoffed at him, pushing his limp body away.

“You can wait, it won’t kill you.”

“I’m dying, Keith.” Lance sighed dramatically, stretching out across the couch and throwing a forlorn arm over his eyes. Keith ignored his antics, getting up and starting toward the door. He knew he couldn’t say no to Lance forever, and he really did want to give in. He just needed a few hours to clear his head, a day maybe. It’d be okay, he could do this, he wanted it. 

He really wanted it.

\--

Initially, Keith didn’t mind working with Hunk on his latest project. It was something to keep him busy, and Lance couldn’t really try to come onto him with Hunk hovering over them the whole time. It should have been a foolproof plan, but the longer Keith went without acknowledging Lance, the more desperate the other boy got to earn his attention again.

He was acting like an idiot, being foolish just to try and make Keith laugh. For the most part, Keith managed to hold it together and remain unaffected, but Lance just kept escalating things. One second he was slipping stupid notes across the table to where Keith sat, dumb puns and compliments written on them… then the next he was up on the table, singing a dramatic ballad while Keith stood there blushing from the tips of his ears down to his toes.

Hunk caught him that time, obviously. A long lecture later and Lance was forced to sit on the other side of the room while they ran through the rest of the experiments. And again, Keith thought that was the best possible thing for them, but then reality set in and… he couldn’t concentrate on anything. He was constantly looking up, eyes searching out Lance across the room.

Sometimes he was already looking in Keith’s direction and their eyes would meet, Keith’s wide with shock and embarrassment, Lance’s smug like that was exactly what he’d wanted. Times like that, Keith simply hardened his expression into a glare and mouthed at him to get back to work.

But other times Keith would look over at him and he’d just be working away, totally concentrated on whatever task Hunk had given him to do. It was those moments that Keith really couldn’t tear his gaze away, no matter how he tried. Lance just looked so adorably focused, eyebrows scrunched together and lips pursed. 

It was one of the rare moments where Keith  _ wasn’t  _ staring and had actually managed to focus on his own work when it happened. He was in the middle of trying to thread a wire into the contraption of Hunk’s making and a loud yelp rang out through the room. 

He was out of his seat in an instant, jogging over to Lance’s table.

“Hunk!” Lance called, cradling his hand against his shirt. Keith hovered worriedly, unsure what was wrong and what he could do to help. Lance wasn’t even looking at him, instead staring hopefully toward Hunk as he approached. Keith wondered if maybe he’d been too harsh in his efforts to push Lance away.

“What’s wrong now, Lance?” Hunk asked, suiting him with an unimpressed stare. Keith grit his teeth, biting back the urge to curse Hunk out. Lance was very obviously actually injured this time, would it kill him to show some compassion?

“I cut my hand.” Lance explained, gingerly moving his other hand away. Keith sucked in a harsh breath when he saw the blood that had soaked through his shirt. He stayed where he was though, watching as Hunk stepped closer and examined the injury.

“Disinfect it and put a bandage on it, you don’t need stitches.” Hunk informed him, sighing tiredly. He turned to leave, but then thought better of it and turned back to Lance. “Next time? Just say you want to get out of this and go, you don’t have to go to the extreme of actually injuring yourself for the cause.”

“This was an accident, I’ll have you know!” Lance gasped, absolutely scandalized by the accusation. Keith honestly wasn’t sure who he believed, Lance was definitely dramatic enough to go to those lengths if he really wanted to get out of something. He’d never had any problem with helping Hunk out before now though, he often told Keith about how much he looked forward to spending time with his friend and hyping up his latest creations, whether it be something he’d engineered in his workshop or the kitchen.

Was it Keith then? Was he trying to get away? Maybe Keith  _ had _ been too harsh.

It was too late to take it back now though, as he watched Lance start out of the room, still babying his injured hand. Keith frowned, dutifully going back to his post where Hunk had told him to stay. Maybe he’d get a chance to talk with Lance later about all of this. He doubted Lance would keep his distance all that long, his libido would get the better of him sooner rather than later.

He worked steadily for about an hour, was almost finished really, when his phone started going off like crazy in his pocket. Keith sighed long and hard, digging it out. It was a lot of text messages that essentially said different variations of the same message.

**From: Lance**

**“Emergency. Second observatory. Now.”**

Keith gulped, already getting to his feet. He tucked his phone into his pocket, his mind already running wild with worst case scenarios. No one ever used the second observatory, there was no way Lance had ended up there by chance. He wanted privacy. And as much as Keith wanted to believe it was just for a quick midday romp, Lance had been acting really weird when he left. There was no telling what was going on with him or what he wanted.

Maybe someone had gotten inside the castle and it was a trap! Maybe Lance’s cut was worse than it’d looked and he was bleeding out! Or maybe… he wanted to call things off between them because he’d finally realized why Keith was being so weird.

Keith walked over to where Hunk was hard at work and tapped him on the shoulder, clearing his throat loudly.

“Hunk, I’m sorry, I’ve gotta go.” 

“It’s okay, I can finish up on my own.” Hunk assured him, waving his hand dismissively. He seemed too distracted to really care anyway. Keith nodded, hurriedly disappearing out of the room and starting down the long hallways to where Lance had told him to go. It was a far corner of the castle that hardly anyone ever came across. It was almost dusty, even with Coran’s vigorous cleaning routine. 

By the time Keith reached the second observatory, he was feeling just the slightest bit panicked by the whole situation. So, he couldn’t be blamed for the way he more or less threw the door open wide, charging into the room ready for anything.

“Lance?! Are you okay?! What’s wr-” 

Well, almost anything.

His determined glare and raised fists were hardly the necessary preparation to deal with… this.

The first thing he registered was that the room was mostly dark, but before he could move to turn the lights on he noticed the candles. Small and flickering, laid out in a path across the floor. When Keith looked a little closer, he noticed the rose petals laid out across the floor. 

Of course, upon even closer inspection it became clear that it was just a lot of red paper cut-outs that looked vaguely like rose petals from a distance, but that made more sense anyway. They had no access to gardens in space. Still, it was the thought that counted and it was clear Lance had put a lot of thought into this.

“Come here!” Lance called from somewhere further in the room, probably the pile of pillows set-up underneath the windows, a perfect view of the galaxy outside. Keith looked around at the overly romantic display and fumbled a little bit, awkwardly heading toward Lance’s voice.

He didn’t relax in the slightest when he got there, finding Lance with a plate of food and two bottles of wine laid out on the floor. Lance himself was cuddled up in a blanket, staring expectantly up at him, his eyes reflecting back the flickering candlelight and the stars outside. Keith opened his mouth and no sound came out, the acute feeling of drowning enveloping him.

He plopped down into the pillows next to Lance, waiting for Lance to make a move, to make this a sex thing somehow. It had to be, right? Maybe they were gonna roleplay as an actual couple that had actual feelings for each other. This wasn’t what Keith wanted it to be, he couldn’t get his hopes up.

Eventually, his voice came back to him. He was almost surprised by how quietly and patiently Lance had waited for him to compose himself. He turned, watching Lance pour himself the first glass of wine from the bottle. 

“Um… what’s all of this?”

“Well, you seemed really tense earlier.” Lance led with that, giving hardly any information on what was happening here and continuing to leave Keith in the dark. Keith nodded. “It confused me. I thought you were mad at me, but I couldn’t make sense of why.”

“I wasn’t-”

“No, hear me out.” Lance cut him off, his tone surprisingly serious. Keith swallowed harshly, sinking back into the pillows and going obediently silent. Lance looked visibly frustrated with himself as he struggled to come up with the words, running his hands through his hair and huffing loudly. “Keith, be honest with me about this. Was I pushing you? Are you not ready to go any further?”

“Lance, listen, stuff like that doesn’t matter to m-” Keith abruptly stopped speaking, seeing the utterly exasperated look on Lance’s face. That was definitely the wrong thing to say then.

It’d never really been something that he spent much time thinking about. Sex had never had any emotional connotations to him, at least not until now, ironically enough when he was supposed to be in an emotionless relationship. It was just something physical, when he felt the need he went out and found a partner, and that was that. It was more of a chore than an intimate act.

But when he thought about it, Lance was nothing like that. Even his hook-ups had been with women he could see himself going further with, girls he claimed he’d fallen in love with at first sight. It was always about love with him, sex was just something that went along with the emotions. For all he bragged and joked, he’d made it clear many times that sex wasn’t the end goal. He wanted a relationship more than anything else.

This was probably the first time in Lance’s life he was sleeping with someone he had no romantic attraction to. Wow, he’d lowered the bar just for Keith’s sake.

“No, you listen.” Lance told him, his tone stern. “I never wanna make you feel like you can’t say no to something. Even if I really want it, even if you’ve said yes to it before, even if it makes you feel ridiculous saying no… if you want to, you should. That’s the whole point of this, it’s supposed to be good for both of us and it’s gotta be built on communication for that to happen. So, this is me opening a conversation.”

Keith stared at him for a long moment. Lance just looked so earnest, so unlike his usual self filled with bravado and confidence. This was him laying himself on the line, being completely and totally honest and open to criticism. And it suddenly seemed like the more Keith got to know Lance the harder it was to not be in love with him. If this was going to keep happening, Keith had no idea what he would do.

He’d fallen for the Lance that was loud and obnoxious, seemingly ignorant in the way he talked himself up and put himself first. Then with time he’d met this Lance, quiet and reserved, insecure and a little bit desperate for approval… and it’d only gotten so much  _ worse _ .

“Do you... open all your conversations with roses and wine?” Keith asked shyly, offering a smile to break the ice. Lance chuckled, shifting closer and placing a hand on Keith’s knee. 

“Only the really important ones.” Lance winked. He seemed so in his element like this, dashing and chivalry, filled with affection.

And a part of Keith couldn’t help but hate himself for even going along with the idea of a friends with benefits relationship when it was so clearly not what Lance wanted either. Neither of them wanted this, it was just the closest thing Keith could get right now, but if it meant holding Lance back from actually finding the love he deserved...

“Well, um, as sweet as all of this is, it wasn’t really necessary? You’re not pressuring me, I want the same things you want. I want to have sex with you.” Keith said evenly, looking down at his hands. It wasn’t exactly a lie, but it felt like one. Of course Keith wanted to have sex with Lance, he wasn’t an idiot. He just also wanted so much more, and he didn’t really want it to happen like this. He just couldn’t explain any of that right now, so he came up with an excuse. “It’s just a bad day.”

“A bad day, huh?” Lance mused aloud, tapping his fingers against Keith’s knee. He sat up abruptly then, grabbing the glass he’d poured before and holding it out to Keith. Keith accepted it, tipping the glass back and drinking a few sips. As Keith finished the drink, he turned to find Lance leaning in close, grinning at him. “Better?”

“A little bit.” Keith chuckled, playfully shoving him. Lance bounced back quickly, leaning his head on Keith’s shoulder and snuggling in close. He didn’t even look up when he spoke the next time, too focused on where he was running his hand over Keith’s chest in soothing little circles.

“Anything else I can do to make it better?” Lance asked, sounding hopeful. It was odd how such a kind question could sting so deeply. Keith swallowed around the choked feeling in his throat, shaking his head in answer. He buried his face in Lance’s hair, exhaling shakily.

“You know something?”

“What?”

“Someday, you’re gonna make someone the happiest person in the universe.” Keith breathed, like he couldn’t dare to say it any louder than a whisper. That would make it too real, the knowledge that that person would never be him. He’d always known, but in a way this made it clearer than ever.

“Is that you calling me boyfriend material? Husband material?” Lance joked, laughing into Keith’s chest.

“Yeah, sure, interpret it however you want to.” Keith mumbled, not in the mood for their usual back and forth when it came to this topic. Lance must have sensed something was off because he pulled away, lifting his head so he could look Keith in the eye. 

Lance looked so cute, hair mussed up and oversized sweater hanging off of his shoulders. It this was real, if Lance was here with someone he had genuine feelings for, he would have dressed up in something outrageously nice and expensive to impress them. Keith didn’t really understand it, he looked fine just like this. But it just served as another reminder that this wasn’t real. And as much as the reminders hurt, it was better to have them, to not get caught up in believing this.

“You really think so?” Keith blinked, tuning back in to the conversation. He studied the uncertain look on Lance’s face, clearly taking Keith’s words to heart a little more than intended. Keith smiled all the same, certain about this if nothing else.

“Yeah, I know so.” Keith assured him. Lance lit up, a wide smile stretching across his face, eyes filled with thankfulness. It was blinding. Keith quickly looked away, clearing his throat and changing the subject fast as he could. “Did you make food too?”

“Sort-of.” Lance muttered lowly, lifting the plate and setting it between them, resting half on each of their laps. He regarded it with a sort-of impassive shrug, looking somewhat embarrassed. Keith quirked an eyebrow at him, amused. “I’m not Hunk, they’re just over glorified sandwiches.”

“I think they look great.” Keith said, grabbing one and taking a bite. He grinned around a mouthful of food, making an idiot out of himself. Lance groaned, looking away and fake gagging. Keith took a couple more bites of his sandwich before giving his official verdict. “Mm, they taste great too!”

“Yeah?” Lance implored, glancing over at him. Keith nodded, giving a thumbs up. “That’s just  _ one  _ of the four meals I know how to successfully cook, the tip of the iceberg really. I’ll impress you with something better next time, just you wait.”

“Next time?” Keith asked, unable to hide the stubborn amount of hope shining through in his words. If Lance picked up on it, he had the decency not to call him out. He simply shrugged, playing it cool.

“You know, when I inevitably mess up for real and really do have to beg you to forgive me.”

“You’re not gonna mess up, Lance.” Keith shook his head. “You’re doing fine so far. I like this. I like how things are going between us. You haven’t done a single thing wrong.”

“I’m gonna hold that against you the next time you complain about that shower blowjob gone wrong.” 

“You dumped toothpaste in my hair!”

“It wasn’t on purpose! I needed something to hold onto and it just so happened to be the toothpaste tube that I grabbed! If anything, it’s your fault for brushing your teeth in the shower like the gross being you are!” Lance defended himself stubbornly, holding his hands up between them. Keith groaned, dropping his face into his hands and shaking his head. This was really the person he’d gone and fallen in love with, out of all the options he’d had.

After that, it was easy enough for them to relax into their usual back and forth dynamic. It was a little quieter than usual, toned down to something softer and more lighthearted, but neither chose to comment on it, lest they ruin the moment. It was too nice, just sitting there and talking with each other, the current mess of their relationship forgotten.

“Tell me something,” Keith said, nursing his fourth glass of wine, “do you do this with your girlfriends? Is the fancy candlelit picnic your signature move?”

“Hell no. They would eat me alive for being so cliche.” Lance exclaimed loudly, giggling so hard he had to set his glass aside. He’d had significantly more to drink, Keith had lost count at this point. Lance leaned back into the pillow nest he’d constructed, stretching his arms high above his head and yawning. “Nah, you’re the first person I’ve pulled this one on. If you’d like to, let me know how it’s working. On a scale of one to ten, how badly do you wanna sleep with me right now?”

“Wow, I feel so special.” Keith deadpanned, rolling his eyes. Lance’s foot kicked out from under the blanket, toes jabbing into Keith’s side.

“You should!” Lance insisted, managing to prop himself up on his elbows. He stared up at Keith, the impish grin he’d been wearing for the last half an hour giving way to a smaller smile. Something personable, meant only for Keith. “I’ve never had something like this with anyone before. It feels so good to just be myself around someone, especially during sex. I’m so used to toning it down or amping it up, but with you… I can just be me. And I love that.”

“I love it too.” Keith breathed, words so close to what he needed to say and yet still so far. He cursed himself, even as he leaned impossibly closer, chasing the closeness. He felt drawn in like a moth to a flame, every part of Lance calling out to him. He wanted to memorize this feeling, being able to touch and hold, to almost have.

Lance met him halfway, a little bit more eager and far less cautious. He gripped Keith’s jaw, pulling him in close enough that they could stare into each other’s eyes and see each fleck of color. Lance’s thumb ran over Keith’s bottom lip, slow and tantalizing, a silent invitation. Keith’s eyes fluttered shut, fully prepared to lose himself in the moment.

It didn’t matter if it wasn’t real. It  _ felt _ real. He could pretend.

“Can I kiss you?” Lance asked, his breath ghosting across Keith’s lips. Keith tried and failed to fight back a smile, ending up grinning like an idiot. He couldn’t help it, couldn’t possibly fight against the strongest and most overwhelming emotion he’d ever encountered. He knew it was dangerous allowing himself to get this close, this attached, this optimistic… but what else could he do?

“Yeah.” Keith nodded, leaning forward to meet him halfway. The second their lips met Keith was filled with a desperation unlike ever before, a need to make Lance feel what  _ he _ felt. He pulled Lance closer, gripping his hair tight as he kissed him like he was dying for it, like the air he needed to breathe could only be drawn from Lance’s lungs. He needed Lance to understand. He needed it so badly it hurt.

Then Lance kissed him back just as eagerly, hands running over Keith’s sides to try and steady him, only to give in and pull Keith into his lap instead. He held Keith close, strong arms wrapped around him as he led the kiss. A constant comfort and warmth, reassurance that Lance was right there and so impossibly close. More than once, he’d giggle and smile into the kiss, seeming so impossibly happy that Keith never wanted to stop.

It had to be a mutual feeling, right? People didn’t kiss their friends like this, he was sure of that much. He may be new to experiencing all of this firsthand, but he wasn’t an idiot. He’d seen romance movies, he’d seen Shiro and Adam together… how could this be anything different when it looked exactly the same on the surface? Lance had to realize they were being a couple right now, right?

And Keith dared to hope that maybe he _ already _ felt it, that they were in the exact same place and both too scared to admit to it.

Things had been changing between them after all, Lance had started to look at him as  _ something _ more than platonic. Sometimes romantic feelings came right along with sexual ones. Maybe all it would take was one person getting the nerve to actually confess and put the idea out there.

Keith broke the kiss off abruptly, leaning back to catch his breath. He held his chest, panting breathlessly and staring down at Lance through his lashes. Lance seemed to be in a similar whirlwind state, a giddy grin on his face as he collapsed back into the pillows. Keith debated crawling out of his lap for what was going to happen next, but ultimately decided against it.

“Hey, I’m gonna say something.” Keith said, his voice confident even as he was worrying his lower lip between his teeth. Lance blinked blearily before nodding his head, propping himself up on his elbows and trying to seem more alert than he obviously was. Keith took a deep breath. It was now or never. It felt like the weight of the world was settled on top of the words he was trying to roll off his tongue, but he couldn’t let that stop him.

He reached down, placing a hand on Lance’s chest right over his rapidly beating heart. “Lance, I  _ like _ you.”

Lance stared at him for a long moment, eyebrows pinched adorably together as he tried to make sense of the information. He stretched his arms high above his head, then reached for Keith. Keith was still holding his breath, but Lance seemed to be in no rush. He cupped Keith’s face between his hands, squishing his cheeks up obnoxiously and then lighting up in amusement.

“I like you too.” Lance laughed, light and airy, and  _ weightless _ . He sat up, burying his face into Keith’s neck and exhaling softly. His hands skimmed down Keith’s back, grabbing playfully at his ass. “I like you  _ a lot _ .”

Keith felt his heart drop.

“No, I mean-”

“So, your room or mine?” Lance asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. Keith reluctantly closed his mouth, already forgetting what he’d been dying to say just seconds ago. What did it matter? It was clear it wasn’t what Lance wanted to hear. 

“I’ll be right back, I promised Hunk I would do… a thing.” Keith said hurriedly, getting to his feet. He looked down at Lance once he was standing, feeling a tinge of regret at his actions when he saw how utterly lost and hurt Lance looked. As much as he wanted to stay and make it right, he was just barely holding it together right now. 

He kept forgetting his own promise to himself to get some space and protect himself. He needed it, needed to get away from this long enough to catch his breath and accept it for what it was. He was only going to complicate things if he kept thinking Lance was going to change his mind.

Keith shook his head, starting out of the room. “Yeah. Bye.”

\--

That night, Keith went straight to his room and locked the door behind himself. He debated calling Shiro and talking his emotions out like a normal person might, knew that that was what he should do… but in the end he dialed another contact and found himself making plans with Kolivan. He swallowed his emotions down easily enough, it’d become habit by this point. Being with the Blade for a while would only reinforce that mindset. It’d be good for him not to let his feelings rule him so much.

It was what he needed to do, even if it left him feeling more alone than ever that night. He laid in bed for a hours, unable to sleep. And if during one of those hours he heard a tentative knock on his door, he refused to address it whatsoever. He was not going to be Lance’s booty call tonight, he couldn’t handle that.

The next morning came after long agonizing hours without sleep and Keith was almost eager to jump out of his bed, even in his exhausted state. He immediately went to work cleaning up his room, digging his usual travel bag out. Kosmo sensed that they were leaving and grew antsy, jumping around the room.

Keith was only halfway finished when another knock sounded on his door, this one much louder and insistent than the one from the night before. Keith sighed, knowing it was probably someone coming to round him up and find out why he’d skipped breakfast.

He unlocked the door, nearly falling back on his ass when Lance shoved his way into the room uninvited, like he owned the place. 

“Good morning, _ darling _ .” Keith had a choice name on the tip of his tongue to call Lance back, likely something that was particularly rude given how tired he was, but he didn’t get the chance. Lance was waving a plate of food in front of his face and suddenly Keith couldn’t deny how his stomach had been rumbling all night.

He accepted the food in silence, not offering any form of thanks. It was fine though, Lance never needed encouragement to keep talking. He just did it anyway. 

“Hey, correct me if I’m wrong, but did we have another bonding moment last night? I was a little bit tipsy, but I definitely remember this one.” Keith sat down on the edge of his bed, glaring daggers into the food on his plate. He jabbed his fork into the lump of meat, a low growl bubbling up in his throat no matter how he tried to swallow it down. 

In his defense, Lance was still blabbering on. Loud and obnoxious, totally oblivious to how he’d hurt Keith the night before. “Please tell me you aren’t about to pretend it never happened as revenge. I know I probably deserve it after last time, but you’re better than that. Don’t be cruel, Keith.”

Keith felt something in him snap, as well as the fork in his hand. He jerked his head up, the beginning of a shout leaving his lips. It died off before he could form a word. Lance had gone completely silent, his face pale with shock. Keith looked down at himself, realizing he’d put his Marmora suit on already and Lance had definitely seen it. Now he had to explain himself before he left.

“Lance.”

“You’re leaving.” Lance said, arms crossing over his chest. It wasn’t a question. Keith silently cursed himself, kicking his boot against the floor. He couldn’t look Lance in the eye when he got like this. Mad, he supposed. It was so rare to see it that it felt weird putting a name to it, but this was Lance when he got angry. Cold and distant, almost cruel in the lengths he went to to protect himself. 

Because that was it really, Lance only ever got angry when he was  _ hurt _ . Hurt to the point he was backed into a corner with nowhere else to go but to lash out.

And Keith had seen it once or twice while they were on Earth with Lance’s family, but it’d never been directed at _ him _ . He was at a loss, already desperate to fix it and make sure he never made Lance feel like this again. Words couldn’t come to him quick enough. 

“I can explain.” Keith assured him, holding his hands up in a truce. Lance stared on expectantly, an edge to his gaze that never left. Keith opened his mouth and closed it again. He couldn’t explain.

“Are you serious?” Lance scoffed, eyes welling with angry tears. He threw his hands up, disappointment written all over his face. “You told me you were here to stay this time. We were supposed to be partners. Shiro left the team because you promised you’d be here! You and me, Pidge and Hunk, Allura and Romelle, we’re all partners. Now I’m the odd one out  _ again _ !”

“It’s just gonna be a short mission.” Keith said, his voice hushed in a desperate attempt to placate the other boy. Lance didn’t look like he had any intentions of calming down or lowering his voice. Keith took a cautious step forward and Lance took one back, toward the door. Keith froze. “It’ll be a week tops.”

“You know, I’m starting to think you don’t want to be here at all.” Lance muttered bitterly. When Keith made no immediate effort to defend himself, Lance took a bold step toward him and continued ranting even louder. “I have places I’d rather be too, you know. That doesn’t mean I can just get up and go the second I feel the urge. I guess that’s your thing though, right? Never stay in one place too long, god forbid you get attached to anything or let anyone care about you.”

“Where’s this coming from?!” Keith shouted finally, his patience snapping like a worn thread. Kosmo scurried away then, teleporting out of the room at the first sign of his master being upset. Keith’s temper got the better of him and he stormed forward before Lance could possibly hope to escape through the door, grabbing onto the other boy’s shoulders and holding him where he was. With nowhere else to turn, Lance just leaned even closer and yelled into his face.

“You left me!” The regret seemed to hit him the second the words left his lips. The fight left Lance’s eyes within an instant, replaced by something more subtle, vulnerable. Keith’s grip on his shoulders loosened in shock and almost immediately Lance was backing away from him, confidence returning. “I told you I didn’t know where I stood with the team and you took that information as a sign you should leave?! You were the  _ one person  _ I trusted to understand. I chose to confide in and you responded by turning tail and leaving me all alone with those feelings.”

“I left because of you!” Keith argued, feeling exasperated to his core. He’d done everything he could, given up so much for Lance’s sake, and now he was trying to say he’d done the wrong thing? Keith ran his hands over his face, sighing loudly. “You said it yourself, we had one too many paladins and-”

“And you figured the only way I’d make the cut is if you flunked out.” Lance interrupted, short and to the point, like he’d already put a great deal of thought into this. “Just like the Garrison all over again, huh?”

As cold as his voice was, the anger was quickly dissipating into something quieter. It was like Keith could see it in the act, Lance bottling all of his emotions back up and neatly repressing it for another day. And it was terrifying, seeing how effortlessly he could swallow it down. One second he was burning up with anger and the next he was drowning in nothingness. He looked hollow.

Keith could recall the first time he’d seen Lance like this, when he’d come back from the space whale and started to wonder what’d happened in his absence. He was gone off and on for a long time before that, but he’d never really had any time to pay attention to Lance during those short visits. It wasn’t until now that he started to notice the difference between the loud and proud boy from when they’d first met and the man he was now.

And for the first time, Keith was starting to grasp what’d happened to warrant the change. The idea that he could have played a role in it was  _ haunting _ .

“Lance.” Keith whispered, his voice shaky with emotion. “I didn’t  _ know _ .”

“But I told you!” Lance was yelling again, but it wasn’t the same. It wasn’t cold and calculated, it was messy and wildly emotional. There were tears streaking his cheeks, his bottom lip quivering heavily as he fought back against it. Keith felt like he was seeing him, actually seeing him, for maybe the first time since he’d come back.

He stepped closer again, this time with his arms held open in invitation rather than thrust out defensively in front of him. Lance eyed him curiously, making no move to accept nor evade the oncoming hug. So Keith took the liberty of stepping closer, gently wrapping his arms around Lance’s trembling frame and trying to hold him steady.

“I thought I was doing what was best for you. I didn’t think you wanted me around and I knew you wanted a place on the team, you wanted to feel important. I thought…” Keith trailed off, going rigid when he felt rather than heard Lance sob brokenly into his shoulder. Keith hugged him closer, suddenly forgetting what he’d been saying. “It doesn’t matter what I thought, clearly I was wrong. I’m so sorry, Lance. I’ll make it up to you.”

“I was just starting to think that maybe I was wrong about you and now you’re leaving again.” Lance’s voice was muffled and petulant where he spoke into Keith’s shirt, but it was easy enough to piece it together and figure out what he was saying. 

Keith smiled, a bittersweet feeling coming over him knowing he’d only just started to earn Lance’s trust back and was out here throwing it away. And for what? Because he couldn’t bite his tongue around a confession? Lance deserved better than that.

“I won’t be gone long.” Keith promised him, burying his face in Lance’s hair. “I swear. I’ll call everyday.”

“So, you aren’t… trying to get away from my crazy?” Lance asked, reluctantly lifting his head to look Keith in the eye. Keith shook his head immediately, resisting the urge to laugh at how far-off the idea really was. Not once had he wanted to leave Lance. 

“No! No, not at all. I love your crazy.” Keith insisted, shrugging his shoulders. 

“Well, this probably came out of nowhere. You’re allowed to be a little spooked.”

“I’m not spooked, Lance.” Keith repeated, this time a little bit firmer. He reached up, debating for only a second before brushing Lance’s hair back from his eyes. His painstakingly gorgeous big blue eyes, staring impressionably up at Keith. “I noticed that things were different when I first came back. I just didn’t know how to bring it up.”

“You really noticed?”

“Are you kidding? I noticed the second I stepped off the ship.” Keith scoffed fondly. Lance still looked like he needed some convincing though, like he truly believed no one had picked up on how much he’d retreated into himself lately. Maybe it was true for the others, Keith couldn’t speak for all of them and he’d hardly seen Hunk or Pidge being concerned for Lance overall. They’d just accepted his new personality at face value and moved on.

But Keith noticed right away. He’d come to look for the brightest and boldest person in every room, recognizing Lance from miles away. And suddenly that shining star of a person had been dulled, nothing like he used to be. Of course Keith noticed.

He leaned his forehead against Lance’s, determined to get this message through to him. “It was like walking into a ghost town. The whole dynamic here was different because you weren’t being yourself anymore. Lance, this team needs you more than it’s ever needed me, we would fall apart if it weren’t for you holding us together. You’re our common ground. The heart of Voltron.”

A long moment passed and for a moment he feared he’d said the wrong thing, but when Lance finally spoke up again his voice was just normal. Not small, not loud, not fake. It was just Lance, the one Keith had fallen for in the first place.

“Don’t go getting stuck on a space whale this time, you hear me?” Lance pouted, jabbing a finger into Keith’s broad chest. Keith stared down at it, a hint of a chuckle on his lips. 

“I’ll try not to.”

“Come back exactly like you are right now or else.” Lance reiterated, his tone menacing. Keith broke out into a smile, shaking his head fondly and looking up again to meet Lance’s gaze. It was a wild mixture of emotions, but happiness was definitely one of them. And because of that, Keith felt like he’d done exactly what he needed to.

“If it means that much to you, I’ll try to stay the same.”

“Good.” Lance grinned, reaching up to pat him atop the head like a dog in need of praising. Keith hummed curiously, leaning into the touch. His eyes fell shut, appreciating the feeling of Lance’s long fingers working through his hair, scratching his scalp. “Oh, and when you get back?” 

“Yeah?” Keith asked, feeling soft under all the affection. 

Then Lance’s touch was gone and his eyes shot open, disappointment no doubt etched across his features. He didn’t get the chance to verbally voice his complaints before two hands settled on his hips, pulling him abruptly forward. His front lined up with Lance’s, close enough that he could feel each breath Lance drew with the rise and fall of his chest. Lance stood on his tippy-toes, brushing their lips just barely together as he spoke.

“I’m gonna rip this stupid suit off of you and we’re gonna pick up  _ exactly _ where we left off. I don’t care if you have to fuck me in front of the whole team.” Keith groaned, long and needy, and Lance had the audacity to laugh. Keith buried his face into Lance’s neck, nipping at the marks he’d left there the last time they’d fooled around, just barely hidden by his shirt.

“I look forward to it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's up my cranky crew!! I'm gonna be real with you, folks. I crawled into bed tonight and I was ready to pass out, but then I remembered I'd promised someone on twitter I'd update. The guilt ate me alive until I had no choice but to get out of my COMFY BED and leave my SNUGGLY DOGS to post this. And all I've brought you is angst.
> 
> Maybe I'll update early next time so you guys don't have to suffer long. This is like the one angsty chapter in this whole fic and that's pretty good considering it's a fwb fic fgjkhgfjhgf
> 
> LEave me lots of comments below, tell me what kind of weird fic I should write for Christmas. I'm writing a dragon one right now, it started out a half-asleep in the backseat of a car project and it's already 7k.
> 
> https://twitter.com/MelancholyMango  
> http://melancholymango.tumblr.com  
> http://miscreantmango.tumblr.com (nsfw)
> 
> Ps: let us please host a moment of silence for my dying nsfw tumblr. Press f to pay respects.


	11. Chapter 11

Keith held true to his word. Every night, no matter how exhausted he was from the day’s work or how much his fellow Blades complained about how it kept them up, he made sure to call Lance before he fell asleep. It became routine, one that Keith was incredibly comfortable with. He couldn’t even begin to think about sleep without it. Maybe it was a tad bit pathetic how reliant he was when the whole reason he’d gone on this mission in the first place was to put distance between them, but whatever. 

He’d started to _ dream _ about Lance while he was asleep, innocent and happy dreams about their future together, so who was the real winner here?

Tonight was no exception, despite the fact his back ached like he’d been carrying an anvil around on it all day and the soles of his feet burned with each step he took. While all the other Blades fell asleep pretty much the second they reached their beds, Keith waited patiently with his phone under the covers, hoping Lance would still be online. It was a little bit later than Keith usually called him.

Sure enough, the second he logged on to the video chat app Pidge had made for them, his phone was buzzing in his hand with an incoming call. Keith grinned to himself, accepting the call. Lance’s face lit up across his screen a moment later, uncomfortably close to the camera and at a terrible angle. He looked visibly tired himself, like he’d been fighting sleep to stay up for this.

“What are you smiling about?” Lance mumbled, rubbing at his eyes. Keith bit at his lip, trying to fight away the grin that’d imprinted itself on his face. Lance just looked so cute, adorably sleep-mussed and soft, fuzzy sleep robe falling off one of his shoulders. Keith couldn’t imagine missing this for the world.

“I’m  _ not _ .”

“You’re definitely smiling, I’m looking right at you.” Lance argued, but the longer he spent staring the more amused he grew. Keith felt flustered, a blush on his face at being called out that only made things more incriminating. He huffed.

“Must be a faulty connection.” Keith said matter-of-factly. “I’m actually grimacing as we speak.”

“I’m onto you, Kogane.” Lance muttered threateningly, waving his finger at the camera lense. Keith rolled his eyes, head dropping onto the pillow as he got comfortable. There was no telling how long they’d talk for, it was sort-of hard to predict. Lance grinned, taking the cue to change subjects. “Alright, back to the matter at hand. Keith, it’s been three weeks since you left and I think I’m actually losing my mind.”

“What’s wrong?” Keith asked hurriedly, propping himself up again on his elbow, giving his full attention to the topic. He panicked, jumping to conclusions. “Is it the others? Hunk or Pidge? You remember what I told you, right?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m the most important member of the team and you love me.” Lance exaggerated, waving his hand dismissively through the air. Keith glowered at him, face heating up in embarrassment all over again. That’d been terribly paraphrased and yet so accurate all the same. Before Keith could dwell on it too much, Lance was quietly continuing. “It’s not that. I’m not sad, I’m just really…”

He trailed off, looking bashful and nervous, like he wasn’t sure if he wanted to admit to it. Keith leaned closer to the screen, holding his breath. He was on the verge of giving a million comforting words, he just had to know what he needed to say.

“What? You can tell me.”

“Horny.” Lance blurted, sighing in relief like he’d lifted a weight from his chest. Keith paused, blinking slowly as he processed the turn of events. That wasn’t what he’d been expecting, but it probably should have been. Lance _had_ been getting progressively more flirty with each passing day. 

When Keith continued to blankly stare into the camera, Lance took it upon himself to elaborate (which, for the record, was  _ not  _ necessary. Keith had gotten the picture already). 

Lance groaned in frustration, the noise doing all sorts of things to Keith now that this topic had been forcefully brought back to the front of his mind. It didn’t help that Lance had given up on fixing his robe entirely, leaving half of his chest exposed. “God, Keith, it's so bad. It's like I'm rearing to go all the time. One of the training robots pinned me to the ground the other day and I was on the verge of jizzing in my pants right then and there."

"Lance. Ew."

"Keith! We were having sex like every day, now I'm back to nothing but my hand. You're telling me you're not feeling the loss? You can't just take a man from a hundred back down to zero. You need to wean him off of it, get him used to the loss. I’m having  _ withdrawals _ .”

“You’re so dramatic.” Keith managed weakly, his voice suddenly so quiet he could only hope Lance’s headphones would pick it up and he wouldn’t have to repeat himself. He was sure he was an obnoxious shade of red now, so flustered he could hardly look at his screen without imagining what Lance was describing. Lance, late at night, desperately trying to get off without Keith’s help and getting frustrated that it wasn’t nearly as good. Maybe he thought about Keith the whole time, pretended he was there touching him instead.

Fuck. Lance was already getting in his head.

“Keith! I’m a sexual being, I have _ needs _ .”

“Why don’t you just go hook-up with someone else to satisfy those  _ needs _ , it’s not like we’re exclusive.”

“That’s so much _ work _ , why bother getting back into the game when I have  _ you _ ?” Lance said, smirking to himself. Keith hated how much that cocky look had come to affect him. It wasn’t even obnoxious as much as it was attractive, how confident Lance was about what they had. He damn well knew he had Keith wrapped around his finger, even if he didn't know every last detail about it.

“I love being your first choice. So flattering.” Keith scoffed, tracing his finger across the wrinkles in his sheets. He refused to make eye contact, knew that Lance would catch on the second he did. He’d been told a few times that it was blatantly obvious when he was turned on. Maybe it was a Galra thing, he’d never thought to look in the mirror and check if his eyes went yellow in moments like that, but he couldn’t risk Lance knowing. He’d never let him live it down.

A moment later Lance was quick to fill the silence, lightening the mood. Neither of them wanted the conversation to end so soon.

“So, how was your day?” 

“Tiring.” Keith groaned, happy to have the chance to complain. He never really allowed himself to with the other Blades, they didn’t understand. Even with the other members of Voltron, he felt like he had to put up a strong front as the leader. It was different with Lance, he could be honest. “My back hurts. Our rations are running out so we’re gonna have to start foraging for food. There’s no plumbing, we have to wash up in a lake, Lance. And I’m pretty sure the lake is actually a swamp.”

“Gross. First thing after you get back, you’re taking an actual shower.  _ Then _ we’re having some hardcore marathon sex.” Lance told him pointedly, not a hint of sarcasm in his voice. Keith snickered, nodding in agreement. “After that… _ I guess _ I’ll have to give you a backrub to welcome you home.”

“I’m not sure I can last that long.” Keith sighed, relaxing slightly just thinking about Lance’s skilled hands working out the knots in his back. It sounded like heaven to him right then, even more appealing than sex though he'd never dare to admit it. 

“Well, you’re almost done, right?” Lance laughed, trying to cheer him up. It immediately had the opposite effect. Keith clammed up, swallowing around the guilty lump in his throat. He looked down at his hands, picking at his nails. Lance clued in almost immediately. “ _ Keith _ .”

“Kolivan says it’ll be another couple weeks.” Keith admitted, offering an apologetic smile. Lance was gaping at him like he’d just admitted to murder. Keith would have found it humorous, if he wasn’t just as eager to get back to the castle. When Kolivan had told him the news he'd been on the brink of throwing a tantrum a lot louder than what Lance was right now, but he'd forced himself to stomp off toward the swamp to sulk in private.  “He has a lot on his plate right now and he doesn’t have enough soldiers to issue me a replacement. He needs me.”

“I don’t care, I need you _ more _ .” Lance argued, a pout on his lips that made Keith immediately want to appease him. Screw the mission, right? Just jump into the nearest ship and fly back to Lance. 

“I’ll be home soon.” Keith insisted, trying to comfort him. Lance wasn’t hearing it. He sat up, the camera jostling with the movement and giving Keith a very interesting view of Lance’s exposed stomach for all of ten seconds before he readjusted. 

“Alright, well, I didn't want it to have to come to this, but... there’s something I need to talk to you about.”

“Oh.” Keith exhaled, nerves amounting. His mind was already racing with worst case scenarios. He hated such vague sentences, where he was meant to fill in the blanks by reading between the lines. He'd never been good enough at picking up on the subtle social cues. He took a deep breath, prepared for the worst. “Lance, I understand if this is too much for you and you want to call it off. I know the long distance thing is hard on real couples, let alone friends with b-”

“Keith, how do you feel about phone sex?”

“ _ Excuse me _ ?” Keith choked out, wheezing for breath. Lance at least had the decency to pretend to be coy about it, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth in a way that was definitely not supposed to be as sexual as it seemed. He angled the camera downward a little bit further, whether accidentally or on purpose Keith would never know, but it put his collarbones in-frame and suddenly Keith couldn’t remember what protests had been on the tip of his tongue.

“Well, it’s more like video sex. I wanna see you, not just hear you.” Lance specified, his voice dropping half an octave lower, his words coming across slower and more enunciated. Sultry. Keith had made up his mind, Lance was definitely doing all of this on purpose. Trying so seduce him. Damn it, damn it, damn it all. “I know it’s a little different than anything we’ve done before, but I’m open to experimenting. And if you have trouble getting into it, I could put on a show for you, wear something nice and strip it off  _ exactly  _ how you tell me to. God, you could even tell me how to touch myself, that’d be so hot.” 

“ _ Lance _ .” Keith all but growled out, fingers curling into fists around the sheets, like if he clenched his fingers tight enough he could hold onto the slipping strands of his self-control. He couldn’t stop himself from thinking about it, Lance all desperate and eager to please, dressed up just so Keith could take it off of him. It wouldn’t be the same as being there in person, being able to appreciate every inch of that smooth tan skin, but it’d been so long since Keith had seen him naked… 

He subtly reached down between his legs, hoping Lance wouldn’t see the shift of movement as he pressed down hard on his growing erection, trying to will it away. It was blatantly obvious the moment he'd been found out, to the point that his shoulders hiked up near his ears as he curled in on himself in embarrassment.

“Oh.” Lance blinked, eyes widening. Then, his face split into a shit-eating grin, the look of a Lance who knew he’d gotten his way. “Well, I expected it to take more convincing, but wow. You _ like _ that idea.”

“ _ No _ .” Keith whined, picking up his pillow and smothering his face with it. Distantly, with his headphones half knocked off his face, Keith could hear Lance’s amused laughter at his expense. He lifted his head, glaring into the camera. “I’m in a tent with four other soldiers. It’s  _ not  _ happening.”

“I mean, it might happen. Don’t be so quick to dismiss it.”

“It’s not!” Keith’s voice sounded less like an argument and a lot more like a quickly weakening plead.

“But Keith,  _ babe _ , you  _ want _ it to happen. You want it  _ so bad _ . You’re really gonna deny yourself? You and I both know you don’t have that kind of self-control.” Lance teased, voice smooth like honey, his seduction techniques turned up to ten. Keith glowered at him through his bangs, already hard enough that the obscene outline of it would be visible through his skin-tight suit. He’d better hope there weren’t any emergencies any time soon where they had to roll out of bed.

“They’d  _ hear  _ me.” Keith muttered, low and ashamed, feeling defeated that he was really admitting to the only thing holding him back. Lance’s hummed in realization, then he started to chuckle to himself.

“You’re right, you are pretty loud. You’d ruin the whole stealth mission by begging for my cock too loudly, the Blades would never want you back. You'd have to come home early and my, what a shame that’d be.” Lance mused, a sleepy little smile on his lips as he relaxed back against the mattress. He tapped his finger to his bottom lip, concentrating in the most infuriatingly attractive way. “You could go outside?”

“You want me to sit in uncharted wilderness and whip my dick out for you?” Keith grumbled, unamused now that he was actually feeling frustrated and pent-up just like Lance. He’d been keeping himself pretty busy, up until Lance had mentioned it he hadn’t even thought of sex. Now he couldn’t imagine living like that, not thinking of this pretty and persuasive boy he was staring at now.

“It could be pretty  _ exotic _ .” Lance whispered, lifting his eyebrows suggestively. 

“I’m hanging up now, Lance.” Keith said decidedly, knowing things were only gonna get worse from here on out. As much as it appealed to him, and he wanted to just throw caution to the wind and let it happen, he knew he had to be the responsible one this time. If his fellow Blades caught onto what was going on, Kolivan would surely hear of it. Keith was not looking forward to that particular lecture.

Keith moved to end the call and Lance quickly interrupted him.

“Wait, wait, wait!” Lance held up his hand and because Keith was so incredibly weak for him, he actually listened. He didn’t really want this to be the first call they ended without a proper goodbye anyway, if he was being honest. 

Lance lit up when he realized Keith wasn’t actually going to hang up on him. Then, with a quick wink and an exaggerated shoulder shimmy, Lance blew him a kiss toward the camera. “Goodnight, Keith.”

“Goodnight, Lance.” Keith sighed fondly, rolling his eyes. He was about to end the call again when Lance spoke up again around a yawn, voice so sleepy and innocent that Keith had no way of predicting what was coming.

“Sweet dreams.” Keith nodded, about to wish him the same when Lance quickly continued with a sly little glint in his eyes. “Make them _ really _ sweet. Dream of me. Imagine all the things you wanna do to me when you get back... you know, _ whenever _ that’ll be.”

“You’re… the actual worst.” Keith said, wondering if it would actually be possible to take his suit off and get off in his bunk without anybody else noticing. It wasn’t at all likely, but he was getting to the point of turned on that he wasn’t sure what else he could do after he hung up on Lance. He was not about to let Lance win this one, oh no, no way.

“Think about it. I could make it good for you. Anything you want me to do, I’d do it.”

\--

Three nights. That was all it took for Keith to cave.

After that initial call where he’d brought it up, Lance hadn’t even mentioned it since. He’d been on his best behavior, almost suspiciously so. It was what Keith had wanted in the beginning, but now it was clear this was a much worse alternative. Now that Lance wasn’t purposely trying to turn Keith on it was even more incriminating when he inevitably found his mind drifting to dark places during their nightly calls. Lance had planted the idea in his head and now he couldn’t rid himself of it.

Worse yet, last night he _ had _ dreamt of Lance. It wasn’t a wholesome dream like the ones he’d gotten used to, they weren’t starry-eyed newlywed husbands living back on Earth (or maybe they were, but it hadn’t really come up while they were screwing each other against every surface Keith’s subconscious mind could imagine). Keith woke up with a sticky mess in his boxers and had to sheepishly convince the other Blades that they needed to wash off in the lake hours earlier than usual… for seemingly no apparent reason.

He was pretty sure they were onto him now, their eyes following him the whole day long. Who knows, maybe Lance had been right about another thing and he’d actually woken them up last night with his embarrassing sex noises. That’d be just great, just his luck.

Anyway, the point was, he couldn’t exactly go on like this. If his team hadn’t figured him out yet, they were certainly going to. He was growing more and more frustrated, to the point it was effecting his ability to concentrate. He was frequently lost in thought, thinking about Lance and what would happen if he just gave in and said yes. It wasn’t like he didn’t  _ want _ to, it was just the most embarrassing and stupid thing he’d ever heard, and he didn’t want to admit to just how much he did want it.

He was running out of options though, either he admitted it himself or his traitorous body was just going to out him to anyone he got near. He practically reeked desperation and he was pretty sure his Galra teammates would be able to smell that on him.

Anyway, the point being… Keith snuck out that night after the others fell asleep. He was a little later than usual calling Lance because of this, but he was sure he’d understand. He searched around a little bit for a secluded space, close to camp but not so close that he’d risk being overheard. Then, he took his shirt off and sheepishly hit the dial button.

It took Lance a little longer than usual to answer, five whole rings, meaning he’d probably given up on Keith calling tonight with how late it was. When the call finally connected, Lance’s tired face lit up the whole screen, the camera held at an awkward half-hearted angle. Lance yawned, squinting into the camera. His eyes widened almost comically the second he registered what he was looking at.

“Are you shirtless? In… a tree?”

“If you seriously start making fun of me right now I’ll hang up on you and not talk to you for a week, I’m not kidding.” Keith grit out, shifting to discreetly try and cover himself. He hadn’t really put much thought into it, but just sitting there shirtless while Lance was still fully covered by his robe… it was embarrassing. He’d never had to put himself out there like this for sex. Usually it was so simple and to the point, this whole leading into it thing wasn’t his style. 

He swallowed roughly, ignoring the gobsmacked look still on Lance’s face and deciding to try and speed things up his way. “So, are we doing this or what?”

“What the hell are you _ talking about _ , Keith?” Lance blurted finally, composing himself enough to speak at least. “You just woke me up, it is  _ way _ too late at night for me to understand your weird shit right now.”

“You know, the _ thing _ .” Keith pressed, unsure if Lance was just trying to make him come out and ask for it, or if he was genuinely confused. He was wearing a pretty good confused squint, but it was hard to say if that was real or an act. Lance was too good at messing with him and this was exactly the sort of thing he’d tease over.

“No, I’m sorry, you’re gonna have to elaborate on th-”

“Sex!” Keith cried finally, his patience dwindling already. He’d been hard for the better part of twenty minutes trying to set all this up. Pretty much the moment he’d decided he was going to go through with it, it’d been near impossible to keep himself under control. His heart was racing, excitement making his chest feel full. He wanted this so badly. He didn’t even care if he had to ask for it. He’d beg if he had to.

Lance was looking at him with a shy little smile, bemused like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

Keith huffed, grumbling quietly under his breath. “I don’t know how it works through a screen, you’re gonna have to take the lead here.”

“Oh.” Lance said, realization dawning across his face. Keith knew when it finally clicked into place because his lips stretched into a devilish smirk, a flash of white teeth showing. “ _ Oh _ .”

“Yeah, exactly. Good to see we’re finally on the same page.” Keith said, maybe a little bit petulantly.

“Alright, hotstuff, calm down.” Lance told him, rolling his eyes. He propped himself up in bed, looking considerably more awake since the mention of sex. Keith watched in sexually frustrated hell as Lance’s oversized robe slipped from his shoulder, showing just enough skin for Keith’s heart rate to speed up in longing. He bit his lip. “Have a little patience, I wasn’t exactly expecting this after you _ swore  _ it was never gonna happen.”

“I’m allowed to change my mind.” Keith snapped, getting tired with the teasing already. The comment seemed to catch Lance off guard though. He paused what he’d been doing readjusting the phone so he could look at Keith, eyebrows furrowed together.

“You are.” Lance agreed, quirking an eyebrow when Keith still continued scowling to himself. “Keith, if you’re going to be this guarded and defensive the whole time, I’m not sure the whole digital sex scene is for you. You gotta be able to have fun with it and not take yourself too seriously.”

“I can do that.”

“Sweetheart,” Lance chuckled, and Keith growled a bit at the patronizing tone, but Lance just shook his head fondly, “you’re the most serious person I’ve ever met, I’m pretty sure you were _born_ with a stick up your ass. That’s not me trying to make fun of you, I know you can’t help that and in all honesty I’ve kinda grown to like that about you. It’s just that for this particular thing to work, I need you relaxed.”

Keith thought it over, studying Lance’s face closely and deciding that he was definitely being serious about this. Defeatedly, Keith’s shoulders slumped and he broke eye contact. Instead he stared down at his lap, at the obvious outline in his too-tight sleep pants.

“Fine, I can admit that I’m pretty far out of my comfort zone right now.” Keith mumbled. When he looked up again, shyly through his lashes, Lance was looking at him with the softest look of understanding he’d ever seen. Feeling the slightest bit more comfortable, Keith continued with more confidence carrying the words. “I just… really need you. It’s all I can think about. I need this to happen. Tonight.”

“Alright, alright, I’m not gonna deny a request like that.” Lance snickered, waving his hands dismissively through the air. He sat back then, rolling his sleeves up as if he were about to get to work on a tough project, a determined purse to his lips. Keith suited him with a bored stare. “First off, get out of the tree. If you somehow miraculously manage to not fall out, there’s no avoiding the splinters you’re about to get. Do you have anywhere other than the tent to go? Is there a ship you can sit in instead?”

“We only have one for the whole team, I’m not going to get off in the _ team  _ ship.” Keith laughed hard enough he nearly snorted, trying to make it absolutely clear just how ludicrous that idea was. His giggles filtered out into silence, leaving him staring at a very plain-faced Lance. He groaned. “ _ Lance _ .”

“This isn’t gonna work if you aren’t relaxed.” Lance reminded him in a sing-song voice, eyebrows wiggling suggestively. Keith could already feel his willpower slipping. “Imagine how much more comfortable you’d be in a nice pilot’s chair.”

“Fine. I’ll call you back in a sec.” Keith huffed in defeat, ending the call without saying goodbye as a final rebellion. He climbed down from the tree with a little bit of difficulty, getting a few splinters in the process that he certainly wasn’t going to tell Lance about, lest he go on about how right he’d been about the whole thing. 

After that, Keith began the short trek back to their camp. They kept the ship pretty close, parked in a little cave of sorts that kept it hidden from view. Keith figured it was to keep any of the planet’s inhabitants from finding it, but it would probably work pretty well for what he needed too. 

He took a few minutes to get himself situated. Initially he was just trying to get comfortable, but then he started to overthink every position he chose. He wanted to look sexy, whatever _that_ meant. That was all he had to rely on right now, it was all about how he looked now that he couldn’t physically do anything. He tried a few different poses before finally hitting the dial button on a whim. 

Immediately, he started to squirm around, regretting the position he’d chosen.

He heard the following jingle when Lance picked up the call, but he didn’t bother to look at the screen as he tried to kick his pants down his legs. As he struggled to get undressed, he distractedly started up a conversation.

“Alright, I’m in the ship, what do we do to get this show on the-” Keith leaned back in his seat, pants still pooled around his ankles, and froze. 

“It’s pretty simple really.” Lance said, voice low and amused. At some point since their last call, Lance had taken matters into his own hands and gotten completely undressed. Now he was lying bare in front of the camera, angled to show off his whole body. Keith was vaguely aware of the fact his jaw had gone slack, his expression proper awestruck as he stared at where Lance’s fist was sliding wetly over the length of his cock. Even the sub-par cameras of their phones picked up the sheer amount of slickness, lube dripping down tan skin and making Keith long to lick it up. 

“W-Wow.” Keith managed finally, his voice shaky. Lance smirked at him, spreading his legs just a little bit more, making sure Keith could see the whole show. 

“You’re welcome to stare, but you should take your clothes off too.”

“Fuck, Lance.” Keith cursed, quickly sliding his underwear down his legs as far as he could and then just giving up. He leaned back, angling the camera toward his lap to show off his cock, so hard it curved up toward his stomach. Lance gave an approving breathless sort of noise, just shy of a gasp. Keith wanted to hear it again immediately, wanted to hear every noise Lance was capable of making for him. It’d been so fucking long.

“Keith. Touch yourself.” Lance suggested, his voice coming across as a plead. Sheepishly, Keith followed orders and wrapped his hand around the base of his cock. He started out slow and uncertain, but his willpower wasn’t strong to begin with and grew even less so the more vocal Lance got. “That’s it, get yourself off for me, I wanna watch.”

“Have you done this before?” Keith managed, biting his lip to keep from making any embarrassing noises of his own each time Lance would praise him. He couldn’t hide the way his hand would tighten, how his cock would visibly twitch each time Lance’s voice would drop into that sultry tone. It should have been obnoxious, it was definitely exaggerated for his sake, and still… 

He tipped his head back, panting as he stared toward the ceiling. He was making a mess already, the sheer amount of pre-cum beading at the tip of his cock almost embarrassing. It didn’t help that he was already feeling that telltale heat between his legs, hot and insistent, telling him he needed to come now and no later. He shouldn’t have been so close already, they’d barely gotten started.

Even now, not looking at the screen whatsoever, just the knowledge that Lance was on the other side of the galaxy touching himself to Keith… it had him thrusting up into his own hand unintentionally.

“ _ Maybe _ . I don’t kiss and tell.”

“You absolutely do, you liar.” Keith grunted, shaking his head. He looked back down, to where Lance was slowly and steadily running his hand up and down the length of his cock, paying special attention to teasing the head with his thumb. He was so slow and sensual in everything he did, drawing out every touch and every sound until Keith was shaking with impatience. 

Catching Keith’s all-invested stare, Lance quirked an eyebrow. Then, whilst holding eye contact the entire time, he lifted his hand and sucked his thumb clean. A whine wrenched its way out of Keith’s throat and all semblance of control left him.

Keith acknowledged that he was absolutely nothing like Lance in this regard. He fucked up into his fist, grinding into his own hand and desperately chasing after his orgasm. He got himself off quick and rough, gasping with each overwhelming wave of pleasure. “God, you fucking dick.”

“Wish you were here. I bet you’d taste so much better. Love it when you cum down my throat and make me swallow it.” Lance sighed contently, eyes fluttering as he suckled on his fingers, cleaning them of all the pre-cum and lube. Keith let out a quiet little whimper, a silent plead for Lance to go easy on him. Lance’s eyes were alight with amusement though, clearly reveling in Keith’s obvious reactions to everything he did. 

He leaned closer to the camera, giving Keith a perfect view of the way he traced his tongue between his fingers, pointed and precise. “Is that what you’d do if you were here? Push me down on my knees and fuck my mouth? Give it to me until I’m sobbing and drooling on your cock?”

“Ah! Coming, I’m coming!” Keith cried out, doubling over as pleasure wracked his frame. He trembled as he came into his fist, mouth falling open around a gasp. For a brief, wonderful moment… Keith lost himself in the sensation he’d been desiring for so long. He’d imagined it so many times, gotten worked up only to grit his teeth until it wore off, he’d thought that the reality couldn’t possibly live up to what he was imagining. 

He’d been wrong, so wrong.

Lance wasn’t even here touching him and still Keith felt like he’d been taken apart by those skilled hands, overwhelmed and desperate for more all the same. He wanted to bask in the feeling for as long as possible, ride out every aftershock so he could remember exactly what this felt like when he had to go without again. The mere thought had him squeezing his spent cock, wondering if he should try and go another round to make the most of this chance.

He was finally starting to come down on his own when Lance broke the silence, drawing him back to the moment with a soft giggle.

“Aw, you weren’t kidding. You really were pent-up. Poor thing.” Lance cooed, a hint of teasing behind the words. Keith lifted his head from where it hung between his shoulders, glaring into the camera. Lance smirked at him. “It’s okay, I’m not teasing. It’s kinda hot, knowing I can affect you like that.”

“Whatever.” Keith mumbled, eyeing Lance suspiciously. He wasn’t sure if he could trust that Lance wasn’t teasing him, this seemed like the sort of thing that would come up again later to be used against him. He found himself relaxing anyway though, just by looking at Lance’s easy smile. Then, inevitably, Keith’s eyes flickered down to where he could see Lance still running a hand over himself. Slow and tantalizing. 

Keith licked his lips impatiently, looking back up to Lance’s face. “Is there anything I can do for you? I’m not really one for dirty talking.”

Lance paused the movements of his hand, a thoughtful look crossing his features. He leaned back then, reaching for something off-screen. Keith’s curiosity begged to know what was going on, but he busied himself by admiring the way Lance’s body looked stretched out like that. Abdominal muscles flexing, back arching beautifully, the curve of his cock just that much closer to the screen. 

Keith was still staring when Lance started straightening back up, a bottle in hand.

“You know, there _ is  _ something I was wanting to try tonight.” Lance said slowly, drawing the words out in a purposefully sensual whisper. Keith only barely registered what he was saying anyway, his attention fully focused on where Lance had leaned back, giving the camera a perfect view of the way his legs were falling open. He looked nervous and out of his element, like he wasn’t sure about anything he was doing. 

Keith wished he was better at words, so he could encourage him and express how desperate he felt just looking at Lance like this. All spread out and uncharacteristically shy and sweet, like he was waiting on direction. God, how Keith wished he was there to direct him. He looked so pliant and willing, Keith was sure Lance wanted the same.

As it was, Lance continued to worry his bottom lip between his teeth, awkwardly juggling the bottle of lube between his hands. “You don’t have to do anything, just knowing that you’re here watching is enough to do it for me. I’ll try to put on a good show for you.”

Realization dawned on Keith admittedly late, but when it finally hit him it packed a punch. He gave a scandalized gasp, immediately feeling torn between the ten mixed emotions welling up inside of him as he watched Lance’s hand disappear between his legs. Slow, tentative,  _ exploring _ .

“Oh, you have  _ got  _ to be kidding me.” Keith groaned, feeling his spent cock give a pathetic interested twitch against his thigh. A shred of confidence returned to Lance’s face at that. He gave a quiet chuckle, adjusting his hand so Keith could see where his slick finger was tracing around his entrance. Light and teasing, barely applying any pressure whatsoever. Keith let out a pathetic sort of whine, leaning closer to the screen like that would make any difference to the thousands of miles between them.

“I’m not sure how blatantly obvious I’ve been about this, but I’ve never really let anyone touch me here, or even really touched myself. Seemed pretty gay, I guess. I don’t know.” Lance rambled, swallowing roughly as he glanced up and saw the hungry way Keith’s gaze was devouring him. “A-Anyway, I figured you might appreciate being here for the first time.”

“This is so unfair.”

“Why’s that?” Lance countered playfully, sticking his tongue out of the corner of his mouth. Keith rolled his eyes, looking back to where Lance was pushing that first finger past the tight ring of muscle. For the first time, he’d said. He’d never touched himself like this before, he wanted Keith here to watch as he stretched himself open on his own fingers.  _ For the first time _ . Damn. Keith felt a possessive shiver run down his spine, guiltily satisfied by this turn of events.

“I would literally kill a man to have those be my hands on you right now.”

“Shut-up.” Lance giggled, shifting his finger back and forth inside of himself, getting used to the feeling at his own pace. He was clumsy and uncertain, but undoubtedly curious and excited. Keith could feel himself getting hard again, faster than he’d thought possible. “I’m trying to concentrate, you can’t make me laugh right now.”

"I wasn't joking. I was dead serious. You said it yourself, stick up my ass, I'm the most serious person you know."

"The murder won't be necessary, thanks. All you have to do is ask really nicely and I'll let you do it next time." Lance promised him, the warm smile he was wearing interrupted by a punched-out gasp. His eyebrows drew together in a wince as he attempted to introduce a second finger too fast. Keith swallowed roughly, biting his tongue to keep from bossing Lance around. He figured it out on his own anyway, going back to just the first finger.

“How’s it feel?”

“Weird.” Lance answered honestly, his nose scrunching up. “Are you sure I’m gonna like this?”

“Just hold out a little while, you’ll come around.” Keith assured him, his voice going notably darker. He was imagining how different things would be if he was there, how easily he’d open Lance up and make him feel good. He’d know exactly where to touch, would do anything and everything to make Lance come undone. He wanted to be there more than anything in that moment.

“Okay, if you say so.” Lance sighed, trying to relax back into the pillows. Keith watched in silence as Lance concentrated on what he was doing, crooking his finger inside of himself, trying to stretch his body out and get used to the new sensation. 

Keith wasn’t sure if he was entirely aware of it, but at some point he started to rock back against his own hand, shaky little downward thrusts. Keith saw it coming when Lance abruptly started to whimper in approval, just barely loud enough to be picked up by their phones. “Mm, you know, it’s not bad. It’s not great or anything, but I don’t hate it. It’s starting to feel kinda good.”

“Yeah?” Keith gulped, reaching down to touch himself as discreetly as possible. Lance had his head tipped back anyway, so he’d yet to notice that Keith was hard all over again. Keith immediately bucked up into his fist, exhaling around a groan. “You’re probably ready for another.”

“I know, I just like drawing things out to torture you.” Lance giggled, lifting his head to glance toward where he’d set up the phone. He paused though, eyes widening as he realized Keith was getting off again, to the sight of him. Lance blushed deep enough to be visible even through the shitty camera, but he obediently grabbed for the lube all the same. 

Lance held eye contact as he slicked up his fingers again, being annoyingly thorough just to tease. Keith attempted to glare at him, but he couldn’t fight the pleasure written all across his face and he certainly wasn’t about to stop touching himself. Especially not when Lance reached down and pushed two fingers into himself, side-by-side, inch-by-inch. It happened so agonizingly slow that Keith couldn’t help but to imagine how it would feel if he was sinking into that tight, wet heat instead. 

Lance was panting, giving himself time to adjust. When he finally cracked open one eye to glance toward the screen, he started to breathlessly laugh at the desperation no doubt written across Keith’s entire face, plain as day. “If you were here you’d probably already be fucking me into the mattress, wouldn’t you? No patience whatsoever.”

“I’d be gentle for your first time.” Keith defended himself bashfully, ducking his head. Nevermind that he’d been thinking of exactly that, how good Lance’s body would feel hugging his cock, stretched out around something of that size for the first time. 

Gentle sex wasn’t something he was used to, even his own first time had been rough and rushed. For a long time, he’d been under the impression that was the only way people  _ had _ sex. The first time a man tried to “make love” to him and got all emotional, he’d up and left. It was gross. 

Er, it _seemed_ gross back then. Right now he regretted not staying then, so he’d have at least a little bit of experience in that regard and could apply it now. 

Lance deserved that much and more. He wanted to make it good for him.

“And if I don’t want it gentle?” Keith looked up at the sound of Lance’s voice, low and sultry, practically purring with how sexual he was trying to sound. It was clear he was just trying to fix the mood and rid Keith of his insecurities, and with anyone else Keith would have only felt defensive at being coddled like that. But it was hard to be angry at Lance at the best of times, and even more-so when he was spread out and grinding three fingers into himself.

Keith swallowed harshly, totally invested as Lance continued in that same tone. “Would you fuck me hard? Give it to me so good I’ll never want anyone else?” 

“You’re such a slut, aren’t you? So fucking dirty.” Keith mused, rolling his eyes fondly and deciding to play along with him. He leaned closer to the camera, voice coming out as a growl. “Maybe a good, rough fuck is exactly what you need to put you in your place.”

“Oh, Keith, put me in my place!” Lance moaned out, toeing the line between exaggerated and full-blown sarcasm. Embarrassingly enough, Keith found that he didn’t really care either way. Lance knew exactly how to play him.The brief moment of hesitation forgotten, Keith was back to running his hand over himself, getting off in time with Lance pressing his fingers deep inside of himself. 

“I will. As soon as I get back.” Keith grunted out absentmindedly, more focused on his impending orgasm than any of the words leaving his lips. He could feel the heat building up in his abdomen, burning hot and tauntingly just out of his reach. He bit his lip, on the brink of coming a second time, drowning in pleasure, and then...

“Is that a promise?” Lance asked, voice suddenly his own, entirely different from the pornstar drawl he’d been speaking in. He sounded so much smaller, nervous and hopeful alike. Keith froze, going tense with realization of what he’d said. He paused, looking over Lance’s expression and trying to search for a cue as to what he was meant to say.

Did Lance want that? Sure, they’d been moving steadily forward before Keith left for this mission, but in the beginning they’d made a rule that it wasn’t going to go that far. Then again, they’d broken all the other rules. There was just something about this that’d stuck around. Keith hadn’t really believed up until now that Lance would  _ want him _ for that. It seemed like something special to Lance, even though it’d never really meant anything to Keith. Keith didn’t feel special enough for _Lance's_ first time.

Still, Lance was staring at him with an open little smile, uncertain but unwavering. He was leaving the ball in Keith’s court, like there was any chance in hell that Keith somehow  _ wouldn’t  _ want that. Maybe it was a trick question and if Keith revealed just how badly he wanted this to be a reality, it’d backfire on him. He couldn’t deny it was worth the risk in the event it was real, though.

“It... could be.” Keith tried, quirking an eyebrow at Lance. That non-answer seemed to be answer enough. Lance smiled at him, nodding slowly as he processed the idea.

“Yeah, okay.” Lance hummed, spreading his legs wider so Keith couldn’t possibly miss the way he went back to fucking three fingers into his entrance, loose and easy after all the stretching. Keith ran his hand over himself once, shivering as his oversensitized state after coming so close only to stop. Lance winked at him, as if he could tell. “It’s a deal. Let’s fuck. As soon as you get back.”

“As if I wasn’t waiting on this mission to end enough already.” Keith said, not missing the satisfied look on Lance’s face. He’d been pretty obvious this time around about just how much he hadn’t wanted Keith to go on this mission and how eager he was for him to get home. Keith wouldn’t even be surprised if this whole thing was an elaborate plan to bribe him into packing up and going back early. Shamefully, Keith was considering it. He considered it more and more the louder Lance got with each curl and twist of his fingers. 

Keith took it slower now, wanting to last longer than Lance so he could truly enjoy the show he was being offered. A minute or two later it was quickly becoming clear that he’d made an unrealistic goal for himself. Lance wasn’t even touching his cock, only fingering himself slow and sensual. And as hot of a show as that made, it was clear that Lance wasn’t really getting anywhere. 

Keith took matters into his own hands the best he could, for Lance’s sake and definitely not just because he wanted to watch Lance come undone. “Hey? Now that you’re nice and loose, try and curl your fingers upward. Lots of pressure, make sure you can feel it. You’ll find your prostate eventually.”

“Thanks for the advice, oh wise one.” Lance snarked, sarcasm dripping from the words. He followed the advice though, and Keith could very clearly tell the moment he found what he was looking for. “How long have you been doing this to yourself exa— _ Oh _ .”

“Oh?” Keith repeated, a smug look on his face. He rubbed his thumb over the head of his cock, teetering on the edge of too much. He couldn’t not touch himself though, watching Lance’s reaction to finding his prostate for the first time. His legs kicked out, his free hand grabbing desperately at the sheets, his face screwed up in pleasure. He looked blissfully euphoric and once again Keith was left wishing he was there to make him feel even better. “Does it feel good?”

“How do you think it f-feels, you fucking dick.” Lance gasped, as if Keith was mocking him over it. That hadn’t been Keith’s intention, but there was something uniquely them about Lance cursing him out even as he grew close to ecstasy. He was grinding down on his fingers, clumsily trying to jerk himself off with the other. Keith watched closely, feeling pre-cum beading at the tip of his own cock, growing closer with every whine that tore from Lance’s lips. “S-Say something, I’m _close_.”

Keith blanked, staring dumbly at his screen. Lance was pleading with him in that breathy little voice, just barely balancing on the edge of orgasm. Keith could hear how close he was in the words, broken and needy. Every instinct in his body told him to act, to just do whatever Lance asked of him. But this particular request left him fumbling.

“Like what?!”

“I don’t know! Something sexy!” Lance growled, definitely annoyed at this point. Keith scrambled, trying to remember every porn he’d ever watched so he could regurgitate the phrases he’d heard.

“That’s it, fuck yourself on your fingers, baby.” Keith growled out, going the extra mile and dropping his voice into something low and hopefully lustful. He watched Lance squirm around on camera, rocking back and forth between both of his hands, unsure of which stimulation to chase after more of as he started to lose control. Keith bit his lip, deciding to go out on a limb again. “Such a pretty little slut, aren't you? So good for me.” 

“Yes! Yes, _fucking hell_ , gonna come! I'm _right there_!” Lance shouted. Keith breathed a sigh of relief, feeling encouraged.

“You’re gonna come with your fingers buried in your ass? Pretending it’s my cock stretching you open instead? Is that what you want?” Keith drawled, starting to get into it now despite himself. Lance whimpered, throwing his head to the side and biting down on his pillow. Keith smirked, watching the desperate way Lance tried to shove his fingers deeper inside of himself, hungry for more just like Keith had implied. 

“Keith!” He cried out, voice strained as he finally let go. Keith watched him come across his stomach, streaks of white painting his body. Lance shook through his high, moaning with each tremor that ran through his body. He went almost entirely lax as pleasure overtook him, fingers thrusting weakly inside of himself. Keith watched him through hooded eyes, filled with a longing to be there with him. 

He watched as Lance fell back into the pillows, sighing contently as he started to come down. He watched the way Lance’s chest rapidly rose and fell, trying to catch his breath. Keith felt the slightest bit guilty about the arousal still pooling hot in his abdomen, his eyes glued to Lance’s tan skin slick with sweat, cum, and lube alike. He longed to be there, adding a myriad of bruises and bitemarks across every inch of Lance’s body.

A long moment later and Lance sat up, a glassy look to his eyes as he blinked at the camera. He quirked an eyebrow at where Keith was still hurriedly running his hand over himself in relative silence. “Did you..?”

“Not yet.” Keith answered in a grunt, still chasing after his own high.

"Well, why didn't you say something so I could take care of that for you?" Lance asked smoothly, leaning back and drawing his hand through the mess of cum on his stomach. He rubbed it across his skin, over his thighs and down between them to the lube-slicked pucker of his entrance. Keith felt something in him snap, all of the restraint he’d been trying desperately to hold onto giving way like a dam breaking. “Want me to show you how I came all over myself thinking about you fucking me?”

“Fuck.” Keith’s hand stuttered over himself, his hips abruptly bucking up on their own accord. The noise that clawed up his throat was totally unapproved of, low and desperate, the closest thing to a beg Keith would ever allow himself to give. He came as if on command, barely a second after Lance stretched himself out like a prize to be taken. Keith shuddered as his orgasm washed over him, a weak jet of cum shooting across his stomach and joining his earlier mess. 

He rocked messily into his fist as he came down, the flames of arousal still lapping at him.

“Wow.” Lance sighed loudly, dramatically. Keith looked up, knowing just from the cheery tone that Lance would be wearing one of those thousand-watt smiles that he couldn’t miss for the world. Sure enough, Lance beamed brightly at him through the screen. “And  _ you  _ said you weren’t any good at dirty talk, you’re like a pornstar.”

Keith blushed, averting his eyes quickly no matter how immediately he missed Lance’s smile. Nevermind that he'd definitely directly quoted the only porn lines he could remember off the top of his head, the ones he'd heard a hundred times over. Maybe he'd have to work on that, come up with his own personal type of dirty talk. Hopefully it hadn't been too robotic.

“You can’t hold that stuff against me, Lance, I swear to-”

“Shh, Keith, it’s fine. I’m not gonna mock you for being the pervert you definitely are.” Lance responded warmly, his tone undoubtedly affectionate. Cautiously, Keith looked back to the screen. Lance was still smiling at him, but it was something small and soft now. Fond. So very fond. Keith’s heart felt like it would beat right out of his chest just by being looked at like that. “Our little secret.”

“Uh-huh.” Keith blurted dumbly, immediately wincing. 

“It’s pretty late there, huh?” Lance chuckled.

“Yeah, it’s getting there.” Keith agreed, deciding he’d rather have Lance think he was overtired than just a straight-up idiot. He immediately regretted his words though, seeing the disappointed frown on Lance’s face. He rushed to backtrack, holding his hands up. “I don’t really wanna stop talking though.”

“If the other Blades find you passed out in the ship looking like a sex fiend, they might drown you in the swamp you’re sharing and I can’t have that. I need to keep you around,” Lance said, pausing pointedly before continuing, “ _ at least _ until I get dicked down and decide if I like it enough to bother with anyone else.”

“Gee, thanks.” Keith deadpanned, snorting out a laugh at Lance’s usual antics. He leaned back in his seat, reluctantly debating how to say goodbye. He wasn’t really ready yet. As nice as the sex thing had been, he’d hardly had any time to talk with Lance tonight. And well, he’d gotten used to their hours of conversation each night. He missed Lance now even though they were still on call. How lame was that?

Deciding to try and draw out the conversation a little bit longer, Keith started talking with no real goal in mind. Just nervously rambling on, not wanting to let go. “How am I supposed to use this ship for its intended purpose now? Every time I’m in here I’ll be thinking of tonight. It’s gonna be so obvious, Lance, everyone else will know. Do you know how bad that’s gonna be for me?”

“Probably pretty bad, I acknowledge that.” Lance admitted, shrugging his shoulders. Then, a devilish look curled the corners of his lips upward. “But the idea of you hot and bothered while surrounded by other people just because you can’t fucking stop thinking about me… not gonna lie, kinda hot.”

“You’re a brat.”

“Your brat.” Lance singsonged back, sticking his tongue out. Keith sighed in defeat, rubbing tiredly at his eyes. Lance misinterpreted as something more genuine than the exasperated gesture it was, the conversation looping back around to the late hour. “You really should get some sleep.”

“I’m not even _that_ tired.”

“Keith, I’ll be here tomorrow.” Lance reminded him softly, like he cared for nothing more than making sure Keith took care of himself. When Keith still didn't relent and just offer to end the call, Lance rolled his eyes at him. Then, in his most annoying nasally voice he could muster; "And the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and then the next day, and-"

"Okay, fine, I get it! I'll go to sleep!" Keith scowled, reluctantly nodding in agreement. 

"Annoying you into complacency is far too easy, Keith." Lance grinned back at him, but there was no heat behind their argument. It was almost flirting, in a weird way, in a uniquely Keith and Lance sort-of way. Keith bit back a smile of his own, determined to keep the frown on his face.  “Alright, grumpy. I’m sure you can last twenty-four hours until our next call and I need to take a shower now before I can sleep, so I'm gonna let you go.”

“Mhm.” Keith hummed, maybe a bit petulant, possibly even sulking. 

“Night, Keith.”

“You too.” Keith said, reaching to end the call and call it a night. His fingers just barely brushed the button when Lance spoke up again, this time not looking anywhere near the camera. That was curious in itself, he was never one to look away during their calls.

“Hey?” Lance started, biting his lip and swallowing harshly. Keith stared back at him, earnest in how invested he was in whatever Lance had to say. Finally, the other boy continued in that same quiet voice, like he was uncertain still if he wanted to say it. “Remember to stay safe out there, right?”

It was the most easy and obvious sentiment in the world. Everyone else on the team had said the exact same thing when Keith left. They hadn’t, however, checked up on him since on a daily basis and then said the same. Like they were constantly thinking about his well-being, so personally worried for him that they couldn’t not say it. That was just Lance.

Keith smiled to himself reaching up to tap his fingers against his lips.

“How could I forget when I have someone like you to come home to?” Keith responded finally, throwing caution to the wind. He watched as Lance tensed, eyes darting back to the camera. Keith had the unique pleasure of watching a blush spread across Lance’s face, deep and dark, spreading to the tips of his ears and down the length of his neck. 

“Fuck off.” Lance cursed him out like it'd been a poorly-timed joke, but at least Keith knew it hadn't been. He was saying exactly what he was feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since our last update I've gotten tragically addicted to like three different video games so that's where we're at right now and why this update is way later than predicted. 
> 
> Anyway I hope you liked it and consider leaving a comment for me!! This whole chapter is just the "can you feel the love tonight" scene from lion king but more porny and less furry. You CAN'T convince me otherwise.
> 
> Also as this story starts to draw to a close, y'all should follow me on twitter and tumblr to keep up with future works! I can't say all of my stories will be exactly like this one, but I definitely do have intentions of writing more klance and hanging out in the shambles of this fandom for a while yet. Thanks for reading!
> 
> https://twitter.com/MelancholyMango  
> http://melancholymango.tumblr.com  
> http://miscreantmango.tumblr.com (nsfw)


	12. Chapter 12

The first time Keith had left the team for the Blade of Marmora, Lance had been distraught. He couldn’t really even understand why, only that his routine had been broken up and he felt inadvertently lonely. It didn’t make sense really, he hadn’t spent all that much time with Keith during his days, but now that it was no longer an option… he certainly felt the loss.

Maybe it had something to do with how he’d always felt like an outlier, figured that Keith and him had something in common in that regard. They weren’t tech geniuses, magical princesses, just two average guys who could pilot spaceships. Sure, Keith was a little bit better at it than he was, but he was also much more stereotypically lone wolf than Lance, so it balanced. They were both alone and it felt like maybe they could be alone together.

That’s why Lance had found himself knocking on Keith’s door that night instead of anyone else’s. He thought Keith would understand at least, that maybe he’d been feeling the same sense of comradery even if they weren’t particularly close yet. He’d comforted Keith through his insecurities about being a leader, he thought it was safe to open up about his own problems. And that night, it really seemed like Keith understood him and wanted to help him feel better.

The few days that followed were amazing. Lance and Keith spent all their time together, especially when they got pushed aside by the others. They were closer than ever before, practically partners, leader and right-hand man. Keith felt it too, Lance was sure of it!

That’s why it came as such a shock when one morning he knocked on Keith’s door only to be met with no answer. He had to learn from everyone else that Keith had left that morning before Lance even woke up, off to the Blade of Marmora for who knows how long. In that instant, as Allura kindly told him where Keith was, Lance was met with the urge to cry right there in front of the whole team.

He hadn’t, he’d held it together until he got back to his room, but that was it. He couldn’t help but feel that he’d been wrong all along, seeing something that just wasn’t there. Maybe he’d annoyed Keith, made him uncomfortable by confiding in him and forcing a friendship. He ran away, after all. People don’t run away from good things.

After that, Lance was more careful than ever before not to confide in people. His greatest fear had been proven true after all, that he was too much to be around and not enough to be on the team. He didn’t want to scare anyone else off, or risk losing the place he had once again been given only in Keith’s absence.

He curled in on himself, swallowed his emotions down, and pretended to be just like everyone else.

When Keith eventually came back, things were a little too crazy at first to really confront him or avoid him. They had to work together for the sake of the team and their own lives. Things only really slowed down on their road-trip back to Earth. It was slow moving at first, they were both hesitant to reach out and uncertain where they stood with each other. Eventually, they found their footing in a friendship. Not a friendship like before where they confided in each other and relied on each other, but one where they were at least able to spend time together without addressing anything serious.

Things changed when Keith started to help Lance with this whole sexuality crisis though, and not just because they were having sex now. It started before that, when he’d made it a point to be there for Lance in his most confused and vulnerable state. He’d gone out to a bar to find him a hook-up, come on, Lance wouldn’t even ask Hunk to do something like that.

So this time when Keith left, it was still scary… but it was better. He knew how Lance felt now and made every effort to make sure he knew how wrong he was. They talked every night, sometimes more than that. They put each other first. They were friends like before now, confiding in each other and completely transparent in how they felt.

Well, mostly.

There was just _one_ topic that Lance didn’t feel comfortable breaching yet. The tangled-up confusing feelings he’d been having since that night at the party hadn’t gone away once the threat was gone, so he couldn’t really blame it on jealousy now. It wasn’t really a sex thing either, he definitely felt that rush of fondness when Keith was just sitting there talking about his day. And as much as Lance didn’t want to admit it, he’d felt these feelings before. He refused to put a name to it though, to admit to what he knew was happening no matter how he tried to stop it.

Despite Keith swearing he was wrong, he still couldn’t help but feel he’d already scared Keith away once by coming on too strong. Admitting he’d caught feelings in a friends with benefits relationship was exactly the kinda shit that’d send Keith running again, he was sure of it.

\--

“Come on, please hang-out with us?” Hunk asked, from where he was stretched out across Lance’s bed, a pout on his face. Pidge was in a similar position on the floor, a pile of Lance’s dirty laundry propping their feet up. Lance dutifully ignored them, continuing to mess around on his phone, waiting patiently for the moment it’d ring and he would kick the others out of his room. It was routine by now, considering it happened every night.

“What do we have to do to bribe you? Money or food?” Pidge tried, squirming closer to his desk chair and looking pleadingly up at him. Lance groaned, tossing his phone down on the desk and reluctantly addressing their whining. They both perked up the second he looked their way, despite the glare he was wearing.

“Guys, I already told you. I’m not missing my call with Keith.” He informed them, eyebrows pointedly raised as he made his argument for the hundredth time. They’d gotten clingier lately, since they’d realized Lance was no longer trailing around behind them begging for _their_ attention. All of the sudden they missed him or something, and Lance couldn’t shake them no matter how he tried. It almost gave him whiplash, how quickly his friends had gone back to wanting him around now that he wasn't always dying for attention. But they weren't there when he needed them to be, and he couldn't help but feel a little spiteful now.

Upon seeing their bored stares, Lance continued. “We’re playing cards tonight.”

“We invite you to a once in a lifetime scary Altean movie marathon and you’re choosing _cards_ over it?!”

“They’re right.” Hunk agreed with Pidge, shaking his head. “Cards? Really?”

“What can I say? I _like_ cards.” Lance muttered petulantly, crossing his arms over his chest and sinking down in his seat. A long stretch of silence followed where they both stared at him, no doubt silently judging him and trying to analyze him for any more information. Lance stayed put, refusing to meet their gazes. Eventually, his stubbornness won out and the others relented. Pidge rolled their eyes, getting to their feet and brushing off.

“Whatever, we both know it has nothing to do with the cards.” They grumbled, sulking as they started out of the room. Hunk sat up, looking like he planned on following. “You don’t like cards, you _like_ Keith.”

The words were only a whisper, but they immediately rang in Lance’s mind like a shout.

“Pidge!” Hunk yelled, sounding genuinely angry for once.

“What?! It’s not like he isn’t self-aware. He’s the most moony lovestruck fool I’ve ever met! It’s gross!”

Suddenly he was drowning in the emotions he’d been so desperate to deny, to ward away before they could really make a home in his heart. He’d been trying so damn hard to reject the idea, and now here his friends were talking about it like it was common knowledge. Was he that obvious? For how long? Did Keith know?

Oh God, did Keith _know_ ? Is that why he ran away to the Blade _again_?

“That doesn’t mean he’s ready to tell us!” Hunk argued, staring at Pidge in total exasperation. Pidge didn’t look the slightest bit guilty, just kept staring defiantly back at Hunk like their teasing was entirely justified. Maybe, in even just slightly different circumstances, it would be. Lance knew he wasn't being a good friend to them as of late, but he couldn't help the petty thought that they'd been a bad friend first so it was justified. Besides, it wasn't even really a personal thing, he genuinely did just want to spend time with Keith.

Hunk sighed, turning to Lance with a quick encouraging smile. “Just tell them that you don’t want to tell us, Lance. Then we’ll drop this subject and leave.”

“Tell you what? There’s nothing to tell!” Lance argued vehemently, feeling almost vicious in his need to protect himself and hide the truth. The idea of Keith finding out long before Lance was ready to admit it to himself, let alone anyone else… that was terrifying. He definitely didn’t need these two speeding up the process if it hadn’t happened already. This was his biggest fear come to life all over again and he refused to let it play out the same as last time.

Pidge quirked an eyebrow at Lance’s outburst, then moved slyly closer.

“ _Isn’t there_ , though?”

“No, there isn’t.” Lance deadpanned, inhaling deeply and keeping his tone even. “I don’t _like_ Keith.”

Lance said it with a sense of finality, hoping to end the whole irritating conversation as swiftly as possible so he could put it behind him and get ready for his call. He didn't want to look flustered when he picked up, that would only make things suspicious, and then Keith would start asking questions. Jesus, he needed to stomp this particular flame out before it even got the chance to burn.

Of course, things didn’t go quite as planned though, and as he started to quite literally shove Pidge toward the door… they continued in that smug little tone from before.

“Damn, does Keith know how you feel? Poor guy’s gonna be _real_ disappointed when he finds out. Gonna break his heart.”

“Why? Did he say something to you?” Lance blurted immediately, before he could even begin to stop himself from playing right into the trap. He couldn’t even hide how blatantly and desperately invested he was in knowing the answer, like the whole world revolved around whether or not Keith was in love with him. It was pathetically obvious and Lance felt his shoulders begin to slump in defeat. What was the use of denying something everyone could see as plain as day? He couldn't convince them they were wrong when the truth was right in front of them.

Pidge flourished seeing that Lance was starting to fight back less and less, pacing around the room like when they went off on a science tangent they found particularly exciting to learn about. Lance sat down on the edge of his bed, his head in his hands as he tried to keep up.

“I mean, no, but it isn’t hard to put two and two together.” Pidge continued, hands waving through the air in exaggerated gestures. Lance curled in on himself further in total embarrassment, now knowing that Keith hadn't even confessed to anything and he'd thrown himself under the bus to find out nothing of importance.

His disappointment must have flooded the whole room because his friends grew quiet, contemplative no doubt. He waited for the inevitable comforting attempt with dread settling in the pit of his stomach. He shouldn't need comforting because Keith doesn't like him. He shouldn't even like Keith to begin with. The whole basis of their current relationship was vetoing the romantic feelings. Lance just always had to be the one to fuck things up.

The bed dipped beside him as Pidge sat down, their hand settling lightly over his own and prying it away from his face. He glowered at them, ready to snap if they tried to make a joke at his expense at a time like this. But they only smiled at him, soft and reassuring. “Lance. He doesn’t stay up all night video chatting with us, does he?”

“I haven’t even seen the dude’s face in a _month_.” Hunk added quickly, scrambling across the bed and offering up a signature comforting Hunk hug. Lance didn’t fight him off, simply gave a resigned sigh and let himself be suffocated with love. “He treats you better than he’s ever treated anyone. He cares about you so much, goes out of his way to make you happy. He makes time for you no matter how busy his life is. What does that sound like to you, Lance?”

“It’s not like that. It isn’t _romantic_.” Lance tried, knowing the argument sounded half-hearted and weak even to his own ears.

“Well, is he your new best friend?”

“No?” Lance laughed, shaking his head. He looked up at Hunk, a vague trace of concern hitting him. Was that why Hunk had been so clingy lately? Was he worried Lance was trying to replace him? No matter what, he had no intentions of drifting that far from his closest friend. “Hunk, you’re my bestie. No one could ever take your place.”

“So, if it’s not romantic, and he’s not a best friend… what does that make him? He clearly means more or at least as much to you as I do.” Hunk asked, with an expression that said he already knew the answer and needn’t ask in the first place. Lance bit his lip, shrugging his shoulders weakly.

“Family? Is he like a brother to you? Is he the Shiro to your Keith?” Pidge teased, butting themselves into the hug and wrapping an arm around Lance’s waist. Lance gagged immediately, shoving them forcibly away.

“What?!” Lance all but yelped, shaking his head rapidly. “Ew, no, we’re not _brothers_. What the hell?”

“Well, we’re running out of options.” Pidge defended themselves, holding up their hands in front of their chest in a truce. Lance sighed, giving in and reluctantly hugging them back. He should have known better than to think that was the end of it. “Is it raw sexual energy all the time with you two? _Nothing_ else?”

“No! We’re _just_ friends, it’s not-” Lance cut himself off, seeing the disbelieving way they were both staring at him. He sighed. He thought about telling them then, just coming out and explaining the whole stupid situation he’d gotten himself wrapped up in. It might help to have people around him who understood what was going on.

But that was when his phone decided to ring, loud and clear, just like it did every night.

Lance froze, his eyes widening and his heartbeat speeding up a concerning amount. He turned, looking back and forth between his friends with an apologetic smile. They understood, thankfully. They left without much protest, quick enough that Lance had time to answer before the ringing stopped.

He fell onto his bed, watching as Keith’s face loaded across the screen.

“Hey Lance!” Keith greeted, wearing a grin so big it had his eyes crinkling at the corners. He looked overjoyed, like seeing Lance sat on his bed in an oversized hoodie with messy hair was a surreal experience. Lance tried to think back to how Keith used to smile around the ship, trying to remember an instance where anything had made Keith look so happy. He chewed on his bottom lip, begging himself not to overthink this. He couldn’t get his hopes up.

“Hi.” Lance responded, soft and amused. “You're smiley today, huh? What did you get up to?”

“It was just a good day, for a lot of reasons. We finally confronted the Galra we've been watching this whole time and we all came out relatively unscathed, Kolivan was really happy with the results, and we were walking on solid ground instead of a series of small sinkholes, so that’s always a plus.” Keith laughed breathlessly as he rambled on, more talkative than he'd ever been.

Lance paid attention for the most part, but his attention couldn't help but drift to where Keith's gloved hands were repeatedly reaching up, brushing his hair back from his face. And actually, now that Lance was taking notice of those sort-of things, Keith played with his hair a lot when talking to him. Nervous little thoughtless fidgeting. Did he do that with everyone and Lance had just somehow missed it?

Lance blinked, realizing he’d missed something Keith had said by the annoyed look on his face.

“Sorry, what?”

“You’re really gonna make me repeat myself?” Keith sighed, making Lance dread what he could have possibly missed in the conversation that changed the atmosphere so much between them. Then, Keith lit up, laughing at the look on Lance’s face. “I’m messing with you, Lance. All I said was that you look nice tonight. Really nice. You should wear red more often.”

Any other time, Lance would have thought nothing of the compliment. Tonight was unbearable though, every little thing had his heart soaring and spiraling. He was definitely reading too closely into it, analyzing everything Keith did for any sign of affection. Then he’d just come out and outright complimented Lance, like it was totally easy. Like they did it all the time.

Maybe they _did_ do it all the time, but Lance had never thought about it before like he was now.

Plus, it didn’t help that red was _Keith’s_ color, and whether he’d meant it that way or not, Lance was definitely interpreting Keith’s compliment as having a lot to do with that.

“Thanks.” Lance croaked out, shifting around on his bed. He felt flustered, knew his face was burning up in a blush and could only pray that Keith couldn’t see it through the screen. “You too. I mean you look nice, not that you should wear red more. You already wear it all the time.”

“Should I maybe try blue instead? Make sure everyone has a clear idea of who I belong to?” Keith teased, voice low and flirty, dripping with intention. Lance let out a rather embarrassing squeak, realizing he’d been spot-on about what Keith was implying before. That wasn’t normal for friends with benefits, right? They didn’t “belong” to each other when there were supposed to be no strings attached, surely? They said stuff like that during sex, but that was normal. Or was it?

The worst part was knowing that if he _weren’t_ overthinking it so much, he would have pulled that line before Keith even had the time to think of it. If he _wasn’t_ dwelling on everything so much, he would play into this flirty banter just as much as Keith was. That was just how they were, how they’d been ever since Keith had left this second time. It was good, Lance liked how they were. He almost wanted to curse at Pidge and Hunk for ruining it for him and making him second-guess it all.

While Lance struggled to come up with a response, Keith easily took the lead and kept the conversation lively. They were used to lulls in conversation, talking for hours everyday meant they ran out of easy topics early on and had to rely on their sheer willpower to not hang-up. “You ready to have the card game of a lifetime? It’s gonna get intense. Might get a little weirdly sexual if we aren’t careful.”

Any other time Lance would be dying to get things underway, especially after a comment like that. But right now, sex was the furthest thing from what was on his mind. He was pretty damn sure he couldn’t fake his way through being into that either, Keith would definitely know.

“Hey, um, do you wanna watch movies with Hunk and Pidge tonight instead?” Lance tried, both hopeful and dreading the idea that Keith might say yes. On one hand, Lance wouldn’t have to fake his way through their usual dynamic and sit here second-guessing all night. On the other hand, it was a very clear change in routine. It couldn’t be presented as something private and sexual, if they were just watching movies together with friends it was a very clear friend activity. Or a more-than-friends activity, maybe.

“Are you telling me you weren’t dying to play cards with me?” Keith gasped, so terribly obvious when he was being sarcastic that it was almost laughable. Lance rolled his eyes and Keith grinned, happy his joking around had the desired effect. He leaned in closer to the camera, gazing down at his screen where Lance was if the soft look was anything to go by. “Sure, Lance. Whatever you wanna do. I’m not exactly a card fanatic myself, it was only appealing because we were gonna do it together.”

And if that wasn’t the most romantic line in the book, what was?

Lance took a deep, shaky breath. He got to his feet, starting out of the room with renewed confidence and starting toward the lounge. In his hands, Keith rambled away into the call, talking about everything new he'd thought of since their last call. Lance did his best to listen, knew that future him would kick his ass for not relishing every second of this like he usually did, but he couldn’t help it.

It was impossible to think with this new realization hanging over his head.

How long had they been acting like a couple without him realizing it? Did Keith realize?

Oh no, what was going to happen when Keith _realized_?!

Movie night proved to be a total success. The four of them got along so well that Lance had to wonder why he’d been so against sharing his Keith time in the first place. It felt fun and natural, laughing and joking with his friends. Even when they’d slip and say something a little bit on the flirty side, Pidge and Hunk respectively pretended to be too into the movie to hear it. They were clearly looking out for Lance, but it didn’t matter. He was thankful for it all the same.

Lance started to settle down a little bit as the night went on, finding it impossible to stay uptight and jumpy when everyone else was so comfortable. The more he thought about it now, watching Keith laugh and joke along with the others, the more ridiculous it seemed. It didn’t matter what happened next for them, or how much Keith knew or didn’t know, or even what his intentions were… they were gonna be okay.

Keith swore he wasn’t gonna be scared away and Lance was determined to let himself believe it.

When the fourth movie of the night ended and Keith let out a loud bellowing yawn, Lance pretty much had to give in and be the responsible one for the both of them. He reminded Keith of how early he’d have to get up tomorrow and how miserable he’d be without any sleep, and Keith grumpily agreed that he made a very good point. Nevermind that Hunk and Pidge watched them interact like they were watching a miracle, like someone being able to talk sense into Keith was utterly mind-blowing.

Either way, Keith agreed to go to sleep on the condition that they did this again sometime. Hunk suggested they made it a weekly thing, only to immediately look for Lance for approval like he might have overstepped a boundary. Lance only smiled at him, excitedly agreeing to the idea. He had no intention of keeping these different parts of his life separate anymore.

He just didn’t feel that same fear that one wrong move would send everything he’d built with Keith toppling to the ground. It didn’t feel like something tentative and new, it felt strong and familiar. Lance trusted Keith too much to doubt him now, no matter how Lance’s self-sabotaging mind tried to argue with that.

“Night, Keith.” Lance said softly, yawning a yawn to mirror Keith’s. His head rested on the armrest and he’d turned the phone to face him instead of the television now, so they could say goodbye properly.

“Night, Lance.” Keith replied, exhaustion written all over his face even as he fought to keep his eyes open and glued to Lance. He was making absolutely no move to end the call. Lance didn’t either, just stared right back and continued trying to memorize every part of Keith. Especially his expression, all warm and content, so uncharacteristically relaxed that Lance couldn’t help but feel proud for being a part of it.

He was beautiful, dark hair cascading across the pillow and indigo eyes squinting with tiredness.

“Just pretend we don’t exist harder, why don’t you?” Pidge all but shouted, causing them both to jump in shock. Lance practically yelped. Keith scrambled to try and right the situation.

“Goodnight everybody!” He shouted, trying to appear more neutral than he obviously was. Lance groaned, shaking his head and burying his face into his palm. Keith had the audacity to laugh at his embarrassed state, loud enough that he must have awoken another Blade member. He muttered a quick apology to someone on his right and then looked back to the screen, his face much more genuine and awake now.

When he spoke it was barely a whisper, so personal and cute that it hurt. “ _Goodnight, Lance_.”

“How come he gets _three total_ goodnights?! I call favoritism.” Hunk argued pettily, even as a bold smile lit up his face. There was a knowing glint in his eye and Lance shot him a glare, thankful that the camera was no longer angled so Keith could see their damn traitorous expressions.

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” Lance told him, winking in a way he could only hope would go unnoticed by his friends. If they did happen to see it, at least this time they had the decency not to react.

“Can’t wait.” Keith responded, reaching up to blow a cheeky kiss to the camera. Lance gulped, his heart hammering loudly in his chest as the call ended before his eyes. He sat up, sitting there with a dazed look on his face.

“Hey, do you guys really think Keith likes me?”

“That boy is _so_ in love with you, you have no idea.” Pidge snickered, low and certain. Hunk nodded in agreement without a shred of hesitation. Lance blinked, slowly processing the information.

“Hm.”

With that, Lance dared to _hope_.

\--

It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.

Lance had planned it all out down to the most specific detail, a hundred times over. Not once had the plan included him wearing nothing but a pair of swim shorts with his hair spiked up like Guy Fieri from the drying chlorine water. He’d just been expecting more time to prepare, a little heads up would have allowed for that. Instead, the announcement came in the form of Pidge bursting into the changing room where he was about to shower, screeching like a banshee.

It took Lance a second to untangle their words and figure out what they’d actually said, and by then they’d already ran back out of the room.

“Lance! Keith’s back! He’s back!”

The moment the words registered he was out of the room as fast as his feet could carry him, every last one of the hundred plans forgotten. He couldn’t possibly run quick enough, his heart pounding in his chest and his hands curled into tight fists, nails biting into the bed of his palms. It felt like the loading bay was a million miles away when suddenly this stretch of hallway was the only thing standing between him and Keith.

He nearly tripped over his feet as he slid to a stop in front of the doorway, chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. He supported himself against the door frame, hand gripping it tightly as he lifted his head and simply stared.

Keith hadn’t come back with a dramatic change. He was still the same height, hair the same length, even his warm neutral expression was the same as the moment he’d left. And still, Lance looked at him with the same sense of awe as when he’d come back last time with years of change.

Maybe the difference this time wasn’t surface level. It was deeper than that.

“Keith!” He shouted, the moment he could convince his body to form words. The conversation Keith had been having with Hunk immediately forgotten, he turned to stare back at Lance. He looked tentative, but definitely not uncertain. The smile on his lips was unmistakable.

Lance mirrored it, crossing the room in all of ten long leaps. Then, with a final eleventh leap, he threw his arms around Keith and sent them both toppling to the floor.

With an ungraceful thud against the floor, Lance buried his face into Keith’s chest and simply breathed, saturating in the moment. The whole reunion was nothing like he’d planned and somehow everything he’d wanted anyway. He snuggled in close and held on tight, determined not to let go any time soon after so long apart.

“You’re hugging me.” Keith breathed, soft and surprised near Lance’s ear. Lance laughed, lifting his head so they could look into each other’s eyes. Keith looked visibly taken aback, like he hadn’t expected this. It was almost cute, how visibly flustered and at a loss for what to do he seemed. Lance smiled down at him from where he was sprawled atop his chest.

And Keith, he looked... torn. Confusion displayed clearly across his features, like he just couldn't piece together what he was meant to make of the situation. Lance thought it was pretty straightforward, but maybe he could make himself clearer.

“I am.” Lance nodded, squeezing tighter as if to prove a point. Keith gave a breathless little gasp, squirming around slightly.

“No, I mean… you’re the _only one_ that hugged me.” Keith inhaled quickly, eyes darting to their left. Lance followed his line of sight to the others, finding that all eyes were on them. Keith cleared his throat pointedly and they looked away, but the tension in his shoulders never left. He continued to squirm until Lance allowed himself to be dislodged, falling onto the floor next to him with a dazed look. “You’re making this thing between us really obvious, that’s all.”

“Oh, shit. I’m sorry.” Lance apologized hurriedly, under his breath. Warning alarms were going off in his head that he’d messed up. He could see how nervous he’d made Keith and he cursed himself for it. He was about to backtrack and try to make light of the situation, when Keith suddenly held a hand out to him. A hint of a smile quirked at the corners of Lance’s lips.

“It’s fine. I’m happy to see you too.” Keith assured him, as Lance took his hand and hoisted himself back onto his feet. His confidence slowly returning, Lance cleared his throat.

“How happy?” Lance joked, squeezing his hand and leaning in close. Keith blinked, looking at him rather curiously.

It was nothing like during their phone calls, where anything Lance put out Keith would easily give back. Normally they bounced off of each other so easily, now it was awkward and stilted. Lance didn’t understand what was wrong.

Finally, Keith shook his head and gently eased his hand out of Lance’s.

“What’s gotten into you? Were the weeks without me really that terrible? You can’t wait until we’re behind closed doors?” Keith whispered, turning toward the others. He settled a hand on Lance’s back and gave it a rough pat, like one would a friend… or a dog. Lance’s feet started moving accordingly all the same, trailing beside Keith toward the others. “Come on, we’ll talk later.”

_Later._

Suddenly, every mixed emotion in Lance seemed to boil over with anger. Keith had been gone for months now and he somehow had it in him to put this reunion off even longer? Did it not matter at all to him? Did he have more _important_ matters to attend to? As far as Lance could tell they weren’t really in a pressing situation right now, Lotor wasn’t lurking with an evil plan this time, so what? What was Keith making him wait for?

Keith was home! It was everything he wanted. He’d wanted so fiercely for so strong, the idea of putting it off until it was more _convenient_ had him feeling sick to his stomach. Didn’t Keith feel the same way?

Lance had definitely been wrong. They weren’t on the same page at all. He’d gone and gotten his hopes up, now this crushing feeling weighing down on his chest was the reality of them coming crashing back down. It was easy to see something that wasn’t there when _Keith_ wasn’t there, but it still _hurt_.

It must have shown on his face too, given the worried looks Hunk and Pidge gave him as they joined the rest of the group.

Even Kosmo had settled between Keith and Lance, licking Lance’s hand like he understood. How dense could Keith be if a dog had better people skills than him?!

Lance stood there beside him, internally falling apart while Keith made small talk about his mission with the group. Lance stared dismally at the floor, only half paying attention to what they were saying. It was all stuff he’d heard before anyway, things Keith had updated him on each night. That didn’t seem like an exclusive privilege now as much as it seemed like a taunt.

“So, Krolia tells us you’re not back to stay?” Lance caught those words. He looked up, to where Allura was frowning toward Keith. The expression said it all, the sheepish way Keith shrugged his shoulders, brushing his hair back over his shoulder. He opened his mouth as if to respond, but Lance beat him to it.

“ _What_?” Voice flat and unimpressed, there was no use trying to deny the annoyance laced heavily in Lance’s tone. Keith froze, looking at Lance with wide eyes. Suddenly the rest of the group seemed to blend into the background, the pair of them exchanging a tense set of stares.

“There’s one last mission.” Keith whispered, an urgency in his voice like he was apologizing. Maybe he was, in his own way, but it wasn’t explicit. Lance needed explicit after spending weeks on end waiting for him to come home. Keith smiled at him, like that was explanation enough. “It shouldn’t take long.”

“Right.” Lance snapped, throwing his hands up in exasperation. He knew the rest of the team was all staring, that he was being obvious and they were definitely jumping to their own conclusions. Keith would probably be mad at him for it later, seeing as he was so desperately against them being found out, but Lance found he couldn’t care in that moment. Keith was so infuriatingly difficult to read sometimes, even still.

He gave Keith the same rough pat on the back that he’d received, hard enough to send him stumbling forward a step. “Well, this has been super fun. I’m gonna go back to what I was doing before. You know, since these reunions aren’t really a big deal anymore. Keith leaves so much now what’s the point in welcoming him back, right? I don’t know what I was thinking getting all excited over _nothing_.”

The group stared at him with wide eyes. Keith’s face screwed up in uncertainty.

“Lance, I-”

“ _So_ , you guys were on the planet Tihua? What were you doing there?” Hunk interrupted, trying to diffuse the situation. He stepped between them, wrapping an arm around each of their shoulders and trying to draw them in close. Lance shoved him away, slipping out of the embrace.

“It’s fine, Keith.” Lance sighed, his back already turned as he stomped out of the room. “We’ll talk _later_.”

\--

Lance blinked into the darkness, face scrunching up as he stretched out across the mattress. Something had torn him from a perfectly good dream about home and he was eager to get back to sleep, hoping it hadn’t slipped away from him fully. He yawned, rolling onto his side and preparing to do just that.

He jerked suddenly awake again when a hand settled on his shoulder, lightly shaking him. He flinched away from the touch, backing toward the wall as he begrudgingly forced his eyes open again. His heart was racing, prepared for anyone that he might find. He was met with dark eyes staring back at him, a faint yellow glow about them.

“Hey.” Keith whispered, kneeling next to his bed. As Lance’s eyes adjusted, he realized that Keith had his chin resting on the edge of the mattress. He looked a little bit like Kosmo when he begged to get up on the furniture. Lance snorted out a sleepy laugh.

Keith interpreted that as something other than it was and grabbed Lance’s hand, pulling it close and kissing across his knuckles. Lance watched through heavily lidded eyes, still half asleep. His eyebrows furrowed together, trying to decipher what was going on here. “Sorry, I really meant to come see you sooner, but Allura got me caught up in a debriefing and she was filling me in on everything I missed with the team. Anyway, I’m here now.”

“Keith?” Lance slurred, reaching up to not-so-discreetly swipe some drool off of his cheek. He squirmed a little closer, resting his head on the pillow just a few inches from Keith’s face. Now that he was closer, he could see Keith’s body where he kneeled on the floor. He noted the purple glow and sighed, burying his face into the pillow. He was way too tired to deal with this. “Are you leaving already?”

“Not until morning.”

“Then why are you wearing your suit?” Lance mumbled, looking at him with a skeptical squint. He could have sworn he saw Keith blush then, but it was hard to make out in the dark. He curled his fingers in Keith's gentle grip, brushing them over the other boy's cheek with admiration written plainly across his face. Keith leaned into the touch.

“Well, you said _something_ about wanting to rip it off of me.” Keith said, slow and hesitant, like he was nervous to get the words out. Dimly, ever so slowly, Lance’s mind lit up in realization. “You also said a lot of somethings about what you were gonna do to me the _second_ I got back from my mission, so…”

Lance hummed in acknowledgement, rolling onto his back and staring up at the ceiling. So that’s what this was. A booty call. Keith wanted to get off before leaving for who knows how long again. Figures.

“I’m not really in the mood tonight.” Lance said, feeling the slightest bit selfish. This was what their entire arrangement was for, after all. And under slightly different circumstances, he definitely would have gone along with it. It had nothing to do with the act itself and everything to do with the feelings he couldn’t stomp down no matter how he tried. It was all coming back to him now, how badly it'd hurt taking another rejection from Keith just hours before.

Keith leaned back, tilting his head to the side curiously.

“ _What_?” Keith looked incredulous. “You? Lance McClain? Not in the mood?”

There was something about how shocked he was, like Lance not going for sex was the most bizarre thing he’d ever witnessed. Either way, it didn’t feel like a nice thing right now, Keith acting like sex was Lance’s whole purpose. There was a lot more to him than that, damn it.

“Yeah.” Lance confirmed, rolling over and turning his back to Keith. He had no intentions of looking back at him tonight. He closed his eyes, exhaling loudly. “Besides, you should probably get some sleep. You wanna be in top shape for _your mission_.”

“Are you mad at me?” Keith blurted, not even trying to hide how invested he was in the question. Lance frowned, squeezing his eyes shut even tighter. They weren’t having this conversation right now. Now more than ever he knew he couldn’t tell Keith about his feelings. He just wanted to go to sleep, to not think about it until Keith was on the other side of the universe again. He felt like he could choke on all the things he wasn't saying, desperately trying to keep swallowing them down all the same.

When he didn’t say anything at all in response, he felt the bed dip with Keith’s weight. He tensed up even further, curling up with his legs pressed to his chest. He stayed uncomfortably rigid, even as Keith settled a hand on his shoulder and rubbed it soothingly. “Er, I meant, are you _still_ mad at me?”

Maybe it was the knowledge that Keith had absolutely no idea what he was doing wrong and kept trying to fix it anyway, but suddenly Lance felt awful about ignoring him. He wasn’t like Keith, couldn’t turn his affection on and off at the tip of a hat. It was there all the time, for better or for worse. And as much as he wanted to, needed to even, he couldn’t just leave Keith totally in the dark and protect himself.

Lance sighed hard.

“Ugh, I wasn’t mad at you.” He insisted, continuing to stare in the opposite direction. He couldn’t bring himself to turn over, to look directly at Keith while he lied. “Why would I be mad at you? You haven’t even done anything.”

He’d hoped that would be the end of it, but him talking only seemed to encourage Keith. He shifted closer, hand settling in Lance’s hair and working his fingers through it as tentatively as he possibly could. Lance frowned, trying to will himself not to cry. This was so close to how so many of his plans for their reunion had ended up, and yet so sickeningly far away. Keith didn’t feel the same.

“Is everything okay? Were Hunk and Pidge being dicks while I was gone again?” Keith whispered, like they might overhear him somehow. Lance shook his head.

“Nothing’s wrong, I’m just _tired_.”

“Just tired.” Keith repeated, testing the words out. It was very clear that he didn’t believe a word of it, that he absolutely knew Lance was just lying to change the topic. Lance waited for the inevitable moment where he’d keep pressing on and Lance would crumble under the pressure and tell him everything that was really going on.

The moment didn’t come.

Instead, Keith lifted his hand from Lance’s hair and instead dropped it around his waist. Lance’s eyebrows shot up toward his hairline as Keith hugged him close, pulling him back until he was fitting snug against Keith’s chest. Lance stayed tense, even as he felt the steady rise and fall of Keith’s chest against his back, soothing in how familiar it was. Even that wasn’t enough to ward off the unsettled heavy feeling in the pit of his stomach. He felt vulnerable and exposed, and not even just physically as he laid there in nothing but a pair of boxers while Keith was fully covered.

Keith hummed softly, hugging him closer like a teddy bear. “Go to sleep then.”

“Keith?” Lance squeaked in confusion, squirming around until he could look over his shoulder back at the other boy. Keith’s eyes were open, already staring back in the darkness of the room. His lips quirked up into a smile, small and shameless.

“You said before that you sleep better with someone else in the bed.”

“Yes, but _we_ don’t share a bed without having sex first.” Lance clarified pointedly, breaking out of the embrace and flattening himself against the wall. There was still only really a foot of space between where their heads rested on the pillows, but Lance treasured that space. Still, now that he was facing Keith he could very plainly see how much Keith _hated_ every inch of it.

“Who says we don’t? We’re friends with benefits and that was beneficial to you.” Keith argued pettily, irritation growing the longer Lance kept dodging his every attempt at making up. Keith didn't go to these lengths for just anyone, so it was clear he expected easier results now that he was.

“We really should have laid out clearer ground rules about what this arrangement meant.” Lance muttered, trying to make it sound more like a joke than it was. He settled back against the pillow, yawning tiredly. Beside him, Keith stayed exactly where he was resting on the other side of the bed, simply staring. If anyone else pulled the same move it definitely would have been creepy, but as it was Lance knew that Keith didn’t mean any harm with it.

He was probably just thinking hard, zoned out to the world. Social situations weren’t his strong suit, sometimes it took him a little bit longer than other people to process them and come up with the perfect thing to say or do. Lance understood that, he just wished that maybe he’d speed it up tonight so they could end this conversation and Keith would get out of his damn bed.

Finally, Keith shifted closer with a look of determination on his face. Lance held his breath in anticipation, hoping Keith hadn’t figured out the whole thing. He wasn’t ready for that.

The breath Lance was holding flew past his lips in an embarrassing wheeze when Keith reached out and settled a hand on his face, soft and sure of himself. He stroked Lance’s cheek, running a thumb over the pout of his lips. Lance choked back a pained noise, unable to look away from Keith’s face at the close proximity. His expression was definitely still curious, but more than that it was almost amazed, like he was staring at something so much more valuable than Lance.

“You’re even prettier than I remembered.” Keith mused, biting his lip. “Way prettier in person than you are through a screen. No camera could ever capture it.”

“I’m not sleeping with you, Keith. You can tone down the flattery.” Lance snapped abruptly, trying to roll away. Keith caught him this time though, throwing his arms around his waist and pulling him back despite the loud squawking protests. Eventually, Lance gave in and simply went lax, unsurprised when Keith responded by pulling him close again. This time he was cuddled into Keith’s chest, which was somehow even worse than spooning because now he was so much more involved.

“Can I? I don’t think I can. It’s out of my control.” Keith teased, pressing a fleeting kiss to Lance’s temple and then the top of his head. Lance felt something in him snap then.

He didn’t care anymore if he got hurt worse than he already was. If this was all he was ever going to have, then he might as well make the most of it or he’d just regret it more later on. This was kind of like having Keith how he really wanted, there weren’t that many differences. Sure, he didn’t feel the same, but he acted like he did. That was enough for now, wasn’t it?

He was just about to start returning Keith’s advances when the other boy spoke up, his voice weirdly serious for the mood they’d set up. “Come with me tomorrow.”

“What?” Lance whispered, backing up to look Keith in the eye. It definitely didn’t look like it’d been a joke, his face was pensive like he was thinking hard about this. Lance was at a loss for how to feel.

“It’s a short mission, but it’s a little dangerous and I could use my right-hand man out there.”

“I don’t know…” Lance whispered, hesitation growing in his chest. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to spend so much one-on-one time with Keith just yet.

It’d be difficult at best and impossible at worse to keep from admitting something he didn’t want to. As much as he hated to see Keith leaving again right away, Lance could admit he needed more time on his own to figure out how to hide his feelings. He’d spent the last couple weeks thinking Keith felt the same and he could just confess, now he had to learn how not to do that.

“You’re gonna make me say it?” Keith sighed, sounding embarrassed. Lance scrunched up his face in confusion, looking up at Keith.

“Say what?”

“God, Lance, I missed you so much.” Keith blurted, all the words stumbling together on one exhale like he couldn’t possibly hold them back anymore. “It hurt being away from you that long when all I wanted was to be here. I don’t even think I _can_ say goodbye to you again less than twenty-four hours after coming back, when I know the alternative is to lie here in bed with you. This mission is too important for me to fake sick and stay home, but don’t doubt that I _want to_.”

“You really mean that?” Lance whispered, hushed like speaking any louder might break the moment, or stir him from the dream this surely was. Instead, Keith just lit up in a smile. He let out a breathless laugh, manhandling Lance into another hug. He went willingly this time, even relished in the feeling of his cheek pressed to the muscular plane of Keith’s chest.

“Lance, are you kidding?” Keith whispered back, his voice filled with emotion. “I would give anything to stay with you. I didn’t know about this new mission. I didn’t choose to go on it. If it were up to me, I’d choose you ten times outta ten.”

Once again experiencing whiplash from how quickly circumstances had gone from seeming hopeless to bright as could be, Lance dazedly started to laugh. He was even more thankful then that his face was buried into Keith’s chest now, to hide the growing blush and the shit-eating grin that stretched across his whole face. He surely looked like the cat who got the cream and he wasn’t sure how to wipe the pure joy off of his face in time to continue the conversation.

“Okay.” He muttered, trying to hide how easy the decision had really been. “I’ll come with you.”

“Great! It’s gonna be fun if the two of us are there. When was the last time we went on a dangerous mission? It’s been a while, right?” Keith rambled excitedly, staring up at the ceiling. He gestured wildly with his hands, but even with all the movement above their heads Lance found it easy to stay focused on Keith’s face. He was mirroring how Lance felt. So, so happy. Lance wasn’t sure he’d ever seen Keith’s face so blatantly relieved and overjoyed at once.

“We should probably get some sleep, we have to leave pretty early in the-” Keith continued rambling, but when he looked down at Lance to ensure he was listening, the words abruptly stopped forming. He fell silent, a quirk of a smile on his lips and nothing else to give away why he was staring so closely at Lance.

“What?” Lance huffed, feeling the slightest bit nervous under all the attention.

“You’re just…” Keith trailed off, visibly struggling for words. He shook his head dismissively. “I don’t know, _really_ pretty.”

“You already said that, Keith. You can’t re-use the same line like that.” Lance scoffed, his tone playful and light. If he was being honest, the line had a lot more impact this time. Maybe it was just that he knew Keith’s intentions were pure now, that he genuinely felt what he was saying. Either way, the idea of Keith finding him pretty suddenly had his heart racing.

He must have showed as much in his expression, given the soft smile Keith offered in response.

“Is this okay?” Keith asked, shifting closer, gaze flickering between Lance’s eyes and his lips. Lance nodded, his eyes falling closed. His hands were curled into tight fists at his sides, shaking with nerves about the whole thing. Keith kissed him hardly a moment later, soft and hesitant at first, the both of them getting used to it again. Keith pulled back more than once in that first minute or so, studying Lance’s face for a reaction given how still he’d gone with nerves.

Eventually, Lance got with the program and convinced himself to actually kiss back.

Things went a little smoother after that. They rolled across the mattress, smiling and laughing each time they’d mess up, clumsy with how high the stakes seemed after so long apart. Keith kissed Lance hard and desperate, like it was all he’d been thinking about doing since he’d left. Lance tried to slow it down, to take his time and savor the moment, like he might never have the chance again. Inevitably, the very different approaches collided into something both emotional and passionate.

Keith rolled them until he had Lance pressed back into the pillows, hands running over his chest and pressing him down. Lance whimpered into the kiss, pulling back to nip at Keith’s bottom lip in reprimand for the rough handling. Keith pulled back then, grinning shamelessly.

“I know I already said this, but I _missed_ you.” Keith exhaled shakily, reaching to cup Lance’s jaw. Lance leaned into the touch, sighing breathlessly. He stared up at Keith, at the warmth in his eyes and the fondness in his smile. He hesitantly uncurled his own hands from the fists they’d been in ever since the kiss started, bringing his hand up to touch.

He pushed Keith’s hair back from his face, heart hammering in his chest.

“I missed you too.” Lance whispered, voice heavy with emotion. It felt a little like the confession he’d been planning on giving Keith. It wasn’t quite the same, but the emotions behind it were. He felt like he was laying his heart out on the line, open to criticism.

Keith stared at him for a moment before smiling.

“I know.” He assured Lance, leaning in to continue their kiss. Lance planted a hand on his chest and shoved him off though, shaking his head. Keith fell back onto the mattress beside him, a confused look on his face until Lance swung a leg over his hips and settled on top of him. Keith grinned wider and Lance rolled his eyes, leaning down to press their foreheads together.

“Keith, I _really_ missed you.”

“I know, trust me. I feel it too.” Keith insisted, his voice surprisingly earnest. Lance had given him every outlet to dismiss it as a sexual thing, and still his expression was serious. Keith tilted his head, speaking softly against Lance’s lips. “I’m not going anywhere without you again if I can help it. I mean it.”

“Good.” Lance concluded, smiling into the kiss. Feeling more confident than he had since Keith got back, Lance trailed kisses across Keith’s jaw, traveling downward until he was mouthing across his neck. Keith’s breath caught as Lance sucked a mark into his neck with harsh drags of his teeth and tongue. Keith’s hands fell to Lance’s hips, holding on tight.

Lance leaned back when his lips met with Keith’s suit, frowning deeply at how high the neckline truly rose on the damn thing. He reached up, struggling to slip his fingers under the tight material. He gave it an experimental tug, frowning when it didn’t rip away from Keith’s body whatsoever and instead continued to hug tight to his skin. “How am I supposed to get you naked with this thing?”

“ _Lance_ , you’re killing me right now.” Keith groaned, threading his fingers through Lance’s hair and gently pushing him away. Lance went willingly, though his entire face was scrunched up in confusion. At first he thought maybe Keith was gonna show him how to take the suit off, but he made no move to. He simply pouted up at Lance.

Wasn’t this what Keith wanted? This was why he snuck into Lance’s room this late at night.

“What’s wrong?”

“You didn’t want to do this earlier. Until you give me an honest answer on why, it feels wrong to just go along with it. I wanna know what was going on.” Keith sighed, crossing his arms self-consciously across his chest, his neck still shining wetly where Lance had been. The sudden shift in topic had Lance’s head spinning. He sat back, settling into Keith’s lap and smirking a bit at the bulge he felt against his ass. Keith blushed, averting his eyes. “I know you were mad at me, Lance. I’m not totally stupid. Is it just because I’m leaving again? Are things okay now that you’re coming with me?”

Lance sighed dramatically, realizing he wasn’t going to be able to get out of this one. As infuriating and charming as it was, Keith clearly cared about him. He wasn’t going to do anything that might be taking advantage of Lance, even if Lance was willingly volunteering to be hurt.

“That’s… only some of it.” Lance admitted, shrugging his shoulders. Keith was staring up at him with wide eyes, totally invested. Lance bit his tongue, before inevitably deciding to just come out with it. He could trust Keith with his feelings, he knew that much by now. “You were so cold and distant when you got here, I thought maybe I’d misinterpreted something. It just felt like we were closer when you were millions of miles away than when you were right next to me, you know?”

“Lance.” Keith frowned, face filled with sympathy. He opened his mouth to respond and then closed it again, lips pursed. He looked like he was truly debating with himself what he should say. Finally, he shrugged his shoulders and just came out with it. “I don't know, it was just a lot. All at once. I've been thinking about coming home for weeks and then there I was, with an armful of you, it was overwhelming. I had to try and remember what our normal was, but I guess it's not the same as it used to be. It's changing, and that's fine, but we just need to talk about how. It was always a secret before, but are we not doing that anymore? Do you want people to know about us?”

“I don’t know what I want.” Lance lied, forcing his most believable smile. Now more than ever, watching Keith struggle so desperately to say the right thing to reassure him, Lance damn well knew what he wanted. A wave of affection stronger than anything he'd ever known washed over him, the feeling so heady that it made his hands shake with poorly-concealed want. He knew what he wanted.

Lance dropped his hands to Keith's chest, the beginnings of a sly little smirk tugging at his lips. He traced the outlines of Keith's muscles through the suit, wondering how much of the touch he could actually feel through the armor. He looked up, eyelashes fluttering as Keith stared wide-eyed back at him. “Other than, you know, _you_.”

“Well, in that case, I _might_ be able to give you what you want.” Keith teased, eyes falling shut as Lance ran his hands all over him, trying to discreetly figure out where the suit’s zipper might be. It wasn’t until ten minutes later when Lance gave up with an exasperated huff of annoyance that he realized Keith had known what he was doing all along.

Keith chuckled, reaching up to his neckline and seemingly pressing a button. With that, the suit seemed to lose its tension. The armored pieces fell off without any effort, leaving Keith in just the undersuit. It was no longer form-fitting and tight as a second skin, now it hung off of Keith’s body like almost any other fabric would. Lance pouted, pettily grabbing onto the collar and yanking it down with a little more force than necessary.

Lance wrestled the suit down Keith’s body, finding it much less sexy in reality than it’d been in his fantasies about doing just that. Eventually, he was tugging it off of Keith’s ankles, leaving him lying there in nothing but a pair of what looked to be skin-tight boxer shorts. With a horrifying snort of realization, Lance looked up at Keith in amusement.

“Are those Blade of Marmora issued underwear?”

“Shut up.” Keith groaned, throwing his head back into the pillows. Lance was on a roll now though, he had no intentions of backing down. He giggled uncontrollably, so damn entertained with his own sense of humor that he didn’t even care if Keith laughed along. He crawled back up the bed, settling on Keith’s thighs and slipping his fingers into the waistband of Keith’s underwear.

“Do they glow?” Lance asked, wheezing around a laugh. He fit his palm over Keith’s bulge, squeezing it experimentally. Keith hissed out a noise that could have been interpreted as annoyed or very approving, and Lance was deciding to take it as the latter.  There was no give under the fabric, only a solid material that left Lance with a hundred more questions. “Are they _armored_?”

“No, they’re just to keep everything where it’s supposed to be.” Keith sighed, sitting up and launching into a very clinical description of the clothing article. Lance bit his lips, trying desperately to keep from laughing in Keith’s face now that they were closer. “Those suits are ridiculously tight and nobody wants to see... outlines through suits. Given the _size_ of some alien dicks, some sort of protective cup was necessary for the suit design to—Stop laughing!”

Lance snorted, burying his face into Keith’s shoulder and shaking with laughter despite himself.

“Mood ruined.” Lance managed weakly, nails digging into Keith’s shoulders as he tried to calm himself down enough to speak. He leaned back, poking a finger into the center of Keith’s chest. “You and your alien underwear can get out of my bed.”

“I’m gonna kill you.” Keith managed through gritted teeth, hands coming down to Lance’s hips and gripping them tightly. Even as he was tossed effortlessly onto the mattress, Lance wore a cheeky grin. Keith rolled on top of him, knees bracketing Lance's thighs, bringing their bodies together in a slow grind. Lance gasped, fingers tightening in the sheets, already feeling his blood pooling southward.

He reached up between them, crooking his finger and beckoning Keith closer. Obediently, he leaned into Lance's space, their noses brushing together. He was sure that Keith was definitely expecting him to say something dirty, especially with how pliant and willing Keith was to lean into the touch.

“Baby," Lance purred, biting his lip, "that threat seems pretty hollow coming from a guy in alien spanx.”

Keith all but growled, nails digging sharply into Lance’s hips and leaving crescent-moon indents in their wake. Lance wiggled easily away from him, rolling across the bed with a shit-eating grin on his face. Keith grumbled, wandering after him on all fours.

“They aren’t-” Keith started, grabbing Lance’s shoulder and trying to push him back into the mattress to finish the conversation. He probably expected Lance to go down without much of a fight, given the state he was in, but he should have known better. Lance’s laughter sharply cut off the second Keith grabbed him, replaced by a fiery look of determination as he doubled back and knocked Keith down into the blankets, effectively starting a competition.

Uncertain as he’d been earlier that night, and as nervous as he still felt, Lance had made up his mind. He wanted Keith, he didn’t want to risk another day or even another hour without doing everything there was to do with the other boy. He’d never live down the regret if he missed his chance and Keith left for another mission. With lives like theirs, returning home was almost never promised.

Damn it all, even as their fight devolved into a childish wrestling match on the mattress, Lance couldn’t deny how badly he was attracted to the idiot he was arguing with.

Memories came rushing back to him of the handful of times things had gotten heated between them during their video calls, of the things they'd talked about in the moment, of the things Lance had promised away to Keith. He knew that Keith hadn't forgotten, and he certainly hadn't either. He'd spent so many nights since up late thinking about it, either working himself into a flurry of panic so strong he spent the better half of the night nauseous, or sometimes into a haze of lust so strong the only way to waive it at all was to bury his fingers into himself and rock down onto them, imagining Keith was really there with him.

And now he was. Here. Wrestling with Lance and flinging him around the mattress like a ragdoll. 

The memories had come flooding back and now for the first time ever, Lance was met with the very unique sensation of being both anxious to the point of nausea and horny to the point of mouth-watering at the thought of Keith holding him down in an entirely different context. It was one hell of a combination, if Lance was being honest, it was no wonder he ended up losing and Keith finally pinned him down for good. Lance buried his face into the sheets, panting to catch his breath.

He could feel Keith's body draped over him, feel every short breath Keith took, feel the telltale swell of an obvious bulge against his ass.

Lance swallowed harshly, a grin started to worm its way across his lips. He wanted this. He wanted it so badly his knees threatened to buckle underneath him, or worse, push him backward to rub his ass up against Keith's growing arousal. His mind was already running wild with the possibilities, the lust mixed with the fear, but as new to this as he was he couldn't deny that he wanted it. He wanted to do it, but more importantly, he wanted it to be Keith. He couldn't imagine it being anyone else now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter: The Fuckening: prequel  
> Next chapter: The Fuckening Unleashed
> 
> I had so much to do today and I just spent actual hours adding on to the sex scene in the next chapter. It's the last smut scene and I wanna make it good!!! Also I just really love writing first times for some reason?? like not to ruin my reputation as a hardcore horndog or anything, but a bitch is sometimes soft and likes some love mixed in with her porn!!! 
> 
> And if you're so inclined, leave me a tasty comment im starving for sustenance
> 
> https://twitter.com/MelancholyMango  
> http://melancholymango.tumblr.com  
> http://miscreantmango.tumblr.com (nsfw)


	13. Chapter 13

Keith was beginning to rethink his entire crush on Lance. It wouldn’t be the first time he questioned the universe and why it decided to let him fall for this idiot out of all the idiots out there, but now more than ever he was just left confused. One moment things had been going well, clothes were coming off and the mood was set, and then the next Lance was rolling around the mattress in hysterics over his Blade of Marmora uniform. It was ridiculous.

Ridiculous enough that he couldn't stop smiling like an idiot no matter how he tried.

He knew that Lance was probably nervous, that this might be an attempt to cover that up. He could respect that for what it was, it was almost a little bit cute if it didn’t make him worry so much. He wasn’t sure that Lance had told him the whole truth about what was going on earlier, even still it seemed like he was holding something back. He didn’t want to press it though, didn’t want to push Lance away in an attempt to bring him closer.

Besides, who was he to talk? He’d lied through his teeth about why he’d floundered so terribly when he returned from his mission. It had absolutely nothing to do with all the sets of eyes watching them and everything to do with the way Keith’s heart stopped seeing Lance running toward him. He just looked so happy, so incredibly happy to see Keith. In that moment he couldn't have given less of a damn about who else was in the room, Lance was all he saw.

And when Lance had launched himself at him for a hug, Keith had to swallow down the all-encompassing urge to kiss him instead. The words had all been resting on the very tip of his tongue, a confession so long and winded they would have spent an hour sprawled out on the loading bay floor. He was so close to pouring his heart out when Lance was on top of him, looking for all intents and purposes like he was feeling the exact same all-consuming love that was gnawing away in Keith’s chest.

He'd been thinking about saying it for so long, every single day of his mission with the Blades, and now he _could_.

Whether or not he should or not was still up for debate. Things had changed between him and Lance, but he'd never been very good at predicting where he stood with people at the best of times, and this was the most confusing contradicting relationship he'd ever been in. If Lance didn't feel the same, if there was even a chance he didn't, Keith couldn't tell him. He just wouldn't. He wouldn't risk ruining all the progress he'd meticulously worked at over the years, no matter how desperately he wanted to.

He wouldn't say a word until he was absolutely sure that Lance mirrored his feelings.

So he panicked and tried to extract himself from the situation, not wanting to blurt something in the heat of the moment. Needless to say, it went terribly, and in his rush to cover his own ass he’d done the one thing he never wanted to do again. He’d hurt Lance.

By some utter miracle, Lance seemed to have forgiven him for the cold shoulder. Now, he was willing to be as patient as he had to be. He did his best to try and wrestle Lance into calming down again, even though he was undoubtedly feeding the flames by playing along. He didn’t care, he was just happy to see Lance smiling and laughing again.

"Would you stay still?!"

"Never!"

They grappled with each other for a good few minutes until Keith finally pinned Lance to the mattress, panting loudly with exertion. Lance begrudgingly held still, face smushed into the pillow and ass held high in the air, Keith’s body draped over his back. In hindsight, maybe Keith could have gone for a less implicative position, but he wasn’t thinking then. Now he was _definitely_ thinking now, so much so that his mouth felt dry with desire.

Any vague plans he’d had about arguing with Lance any further and trying to win their unspoken competition were quickly forgotten. He was easily distracted by the heat rolling off of Lance’s body in waves, the way his slim hips felt pressed back against Keith’s lap. He swallowed harshly, leaning down to speak against the shell of Lance’s ear.

“Sit still and take your clothes off, you idiot.” Keith instructed, a hint of playfulness still noticeable in his tone. Lance squirmed beneath him, turning his head to try and look back at Keith. Much to Keith’s chagrin, he was still grinning widely, like he’d somehow won. Maybe he had. Maybe his plan all along was to work Keith up to the point of pinning him against the mattress and just taking the lead so Lance wouldn’t have to. He wouldn’t put it past Lance, it seemed like the sort of thing he’d do.

Keith ran his hand over Lance's hip, fighting the urge to take it a step further and grab a handful of that ass pressed back against him so nicely. He didn't want to risk making Lance uncomfortable before they'd even really started anything. “I want to have sex with you for reasons I truly can’t comprehend, so stop making it difficult.”

“Oh, Keith, you flatter me.” Lance swooned, eyelashes fluttering. Keith backed off of him, falling onto his back and relaxing back into the mattress. Beside him, Lance eventually rolled over and curled up next to him, chin propped up in his palm. Keith could feel Lance’s eyes glued to his face, roaming over his expression and no doubt thinking hard about something.

Eventually, Keith gave in and glanced over at him. Lance smiled. “Hey.”

“Hi.” Keith replied, holding back an amused snort. Lance was a lot quieter now, clearly taking the time to calm down and getting lost in his thoughts a little bit in the process. Keith reached up, brushing his hair back from his forehead, trying to silently reassure him. Lance averted his eyes, worrying his bottom lip.

He had a pretty good idea about what was going on here, even if Lance himself hadn’t clued in. If his hunch was right, Lance was probably rethinking their previous plans and trying to find a way to get out of it. He’d realized he wasn’t ready, but was too embarrassed to ask to wait. This was fine by Keith, he’d wait as long as Lance wanted him to. He was just happy to be here finally, he’d be content to just lie here next to Lance and bask in the closeness. They didn’t have to do anything, much less something Lance didn't want to do too.

“So, just to clarify, when you said you wanted to have sex with me… you meant?” He asked, his voice undoubtedly shyer now that they were being serious. Keith propped himself up too, leaning in close and brushing his lips against Lance’s, soft and slow. Lance leaned into it, deepening the kiss again but keeping the relaxed pace.

“Whatever you want to do, Lance.” Keith breathed eventually, moving to pepper kisses across his jaw and down his neck. Lance hummed, fingers tangling in Keith’s hair and pulling him forcibly closer.

“It’d be kinda dumb to go all the way before a dangerous mission, right?” Lance managed weakly, voice breaking on a whimper. Keith paused, his eyebrows furrowing together. He couldn’t deny how thankful he was his face was hidden from view, the confusion surely showing through because _that didn’t sound like a rejection of the idea_. It sounded an awful lot like a tentative suggestion, like Lance wanted this _despite_ thinking it was a dumb idea and being nervous about it.

Keith pressed a quick kiss to his Adam’s apple and pulled back, making eye contact no matter how Lance seemed intent to avoid it. Keith smoothed his fingers over Lance’s skin, sliding up from his shoulder to grip his jaw, turning his face so they could look at each other openly.

“Is that what you _want_ to do?” Keith asked, trying to keep his voice neutral. Lance was blushing the deepest shade of red Keith could remember seeing on his face and not for the first time, he had to thank his Galra heritage for giving him the enhanced night vision. Anyone else might have missed it, just like they would have missed the very subtle shrug of the shoulders Lance gave in lieu of an answer. And despite the lack of words, that really said it all.

Keith fought back a grin, tracing his thumb over the curve of Lance’s cheekbone. “‘Cause if it _is_ what you want… then I’m sure we could make it work.”

“We’d have to go slow.” Lance mumbled, nervously fiddling with the corner of the pillowcase between them. Keith nodded, eyeing him closely for any sign of genuine discomfort. He didn’t want to pressure Lance at all, but if this _was_ what he wanted… then Keith wanted to be the one to help him overcome the nerves that came along with first times.

“I know.”

“Can you handle that? You’re impatient and rough at the best of times, but we’ve been apart for _two months_ this time.” Lance rambled on, words jumbling together in his rush to get them out. Keith nodded along, trying to hide the amused smile twitching the corners of his lips upward. Eventually, Lance caught him, eyes narrowing and bottom lip pouting out dramatically. “I’m serious!”

“Lance, I know how to have slow sex, it's not that complicated.” Keith tried to reason with him, but Lance’s anxieties were starting to get the better of him now. He was defensive and irritable, and as much as Keith hated to admit it, maybe they would be better off waiting for another night to try anything. They’d been apart for a long time, maybe it was best they took some time to find their place in the relationship again.

“Oh, really? Have you ever done it before?” Lance huffed back at him. Keith rolled his eyes, his patience giving way the slightest bit.

“Not exactly, but that’s only because I-” Keith paused, the snark in his voice dissipating as he trailed off in realization. Lance was still staring at him expectantly, eyes wide and unblinking. Keith debated playing along, making a snappy comment back and then charging from Lance’s room just like he had so many times before.

He realized now that he’d only ever been scared, scared of his own feelings and what it meant to be honest about them. Now though, he swallowed down those nerves and decided to go out on a limb. It was a two way street after all, if he expected Lance to go out of his comfort zone he’d better be willing to do the same.

Keith took a deep breath, reluctantly looking up and meeting Lance’s gaze. “I’ve never gone slow before because I was never with anyone I wanted the moment to last with, okay? I just wanted to get off, I never _cared_ about the people I was with. This is different. You’re different. You’re so much more important to me than a stranger could ever be.”

The anger that’d been building up under the surface between them deflated. Lance’s hardened glare turned into something awed and open-minded, really considering Keith’s words. For how mouthy he’d been all of a minute ago, suddenly he was more quiet than he’d ever been. Lance smiled at him then, soft and sweet, and though Keith could see the worry lying under the surface, he knew it was genuine.

“I want to try it.” Lance breathed, finding Keith’s hand on the stretch of mattress between them and giving it a squeeze. Keith was left unsure of whether it was meant to encourage him or comfort Lance through his nerves, but either way he responded by weaving their fingers together.

“Okay.”

“I might still back out though, is that okay?” Lance quirked an eyebrow, holding his breath as he looked to Keith for an answer. It was almost laughable to think that Lance could be worried about something like that, especially when Keith thought he’d made it so clear how he was willing to do anything for Lance. He was more than happy to repeat it again though, or as many times as he had to to make sure Lance believed him.

“Lance, that’s more than okay.” Keith promised, leaning in to kiss his cheek. Lance’s hand was still settled heavily around his, gripping tighter the second Keith’s lips brushed over his cheek. Keith pulled back, taking a moment to admire Lance when he was like this. He knew it wouldn’t be long until his confidence returned to him and he’d be back to calling all the shots, and Keith was more than happy with that, but he wasn’t about to miss his opportunity to memorize this moment.

Lance was so out of his element, and still he was placing all of his trust in Keith. It shouldn’t have been anything new, they trusted each other with their lives every time they set foot on a battlefield, but it felt new. It was special and unique, something Lance was trusting Keith and only Keith to do. And he wanted to live up to every expectation Lance could possibly have. He’d never considered himself a perfectionist throughout his life, but in this moment he was determined to do everything right down to the tiniest detail, for Lance.

He shifted carefully closer, surprised when Lance moved with him. For a terrifying moment he thought Lance was shrinking away from him in fear, but it quickly became clear he was only laying back against the mattress and expecting Keith to follow. Hesitantly, Keith settled on top of Lance, stretched out comfortably between his legs and resting his chin on Lance’s chest.

This was hardly the first time they’d gone this far, and still he nearly jumped when Lance guided his hand down between them. His fingers slipped into the waistband of Lance’s underwear, pausing before actually beginning to tug them off. He looked up, eyes imploring as they found Lance’s deep blue ones so close. “Say the word and I’ll stop.”

“I know you will.” Lance assured him, reaching up to cup Keith’s face in his hands. “I trust you.”

The words warmed Keith from head to toe. He undressed them both the rest of the way then, until they were huddled close under the covers, completely naked. Given the clumsy way they’d fallen together, one of Keith’s legs had ended up between Lance’s and the other boy had taken to grinding against it while Keith tried his best to stay concentrated. He was leaning over the edge of the bed, trifling through Lance’s bedside drawer in search of the lube, fighting the constant urge to just give up and pin Lance to the bed in reprimand.

He was practically humping Keith’s leg, begging for attention since the second he stopped receiving it.

Keith stayed on task just to spite him, leaning in to kiss him a short moment later with the bottle of lube in hand. When they pulled apart, Lance reached down to grab Keith’s wrist before he could go any further.

“Use lots.” Lance reminded him, tapping the bottle of lube tellingly. Keith nodded, popping open the lid and making a show of squirting a frankly obscene amount onto his fingers just to prove a point. Lance huffed out a giggle, sinking back into the pillows in defeat.

“I have a pretty good idea of how this works, believe it or not.” Keith joked, trying to subtly comfort Lance through his fears. He circled his fingers together, trying to warm up the substance now covering his hand. Lance watched him through lidded eyes, bottom lip nervously drawn back between his teeth.

“Well, I don’t. Not on myself anyway.” Lance countered, in that same matter-of-fact tone. “Pidge didn’t exactly equip our phones with the alien equivalent of Pornhub, so my knowledge is limited to what you’ve told me. I’m putting all my faith in you, you know. I’m not used to not getting to call the shots the whole time.”

“Just lie back and relax, I’ll take care of you.” Keith promised him, leaning back to kneel properly between his legs. He placed his clean hand on Lance’s thigh, gently easing him into spreading them further. As much as Lance was struggling to come to terms with the new position, Keith couldn’t help but note the way his cock was drooling pre-cum across his stomach, still hard despite all the growing nerves.

“Pretty sure I’ve used that line on at least ten girls, feels weird being on the receiving end of it.”

“Shut-up. It’s not a line.” Keith moved forward, leaning in and sucking a mark into Lance’s neck. Between them, Keith reached down and circled his finger around the rim of Lance’s entrance, trying to distract him by the feeling of teeth and tongue working over his skin. He still gave a noticeable reaction, whole body going tense against Keith’s, a pathetic whimper of a noise tumbling past his lips that wasn’t nearly the same as his usual sex noises.

Keith drew back, staring down at Lance worriedly. “Good?”

“Yeah, just needed a second. You can go back to, um, what you were doing.” Lance managed, voice cracking obviously when Keith started to ease the tip of a lube-slicked finger inside. At first, it was hard to gauge what Lance was thinking based on his body’s reactions alone. As Keith gently worked his finger inside further, going at the slowest tempo he could manage, Lance made the job ten times harder by refusing to sit still. He was constantly pulling back or grinding down on the intrusion, trying and failing to force himself to adjust quicker.

“Calm down. You have to relax.” Keith told him, a hint of laughter in his voice. “Is it that bad? I can stop.”

“No, just weird.” Lance said decidedly, taking a deep breath. Keith could see it in his face how unfamiliar this was to him, relinquishing control to someone else. A big part of Keith was already second-guessing why they’d chose to do it this way. He would have been just as happy to bottom. But, this meant a lot to Lance, and despite all of his apprehension he really did want this. Keith felt equal parts guilty and flattered, but he was going to see it through as long as Lance wanted him to.

The uncertainty he was feeling was quickly stomped on after Lance started to actually relax, a minute or so after he’d introduced a second finger. Keith watched with wide eyes as Lance’s face started to scrunch up in pleasure, fists grasping at the sheets each time Keith’s fingers would hit a particularly good spot. Keith was purposely avoiding giving him any direct stimulation, wanting to work up to that, but Lance had definitely noticed as much and was having none of that.

He was getting restless again now, refusing to sit still. This time though it very clearly had nothing to do with being uncomfortable and everything to do with impatience. They’d worked up to three fingers painstakingly slowly and suddenly Lance was acting like he couldn’t wait another second. Keith supposed that was probably as good a sign as any that he was ready.

Even still, when he spoke up to suggest that Lance’s eyes went wide as saucers.

“Condom?” He’d asked, straight to the point, not wanting to give Lance a chance to overthink it. It became immediately apparent that he should have been a little more subtle, maybe led into it with some carefully chosen words. Words had never been Keith’s strongest suit.

“Uh, w-why? Are we doing… right now? I’m prepared enough?” Lance stuttered, wincing as Keith eased his fingers out. Lance clambered backward a bit awkwardly, propping himself up on the pillows to eye Keith warily, like he might jump him any second. Keith chuckled easily, settling his hands on Lance’s thighs and rubbing soothingly over them.

“I think you are, but do _you_? Talk to me.” Keith leaned back, giving Lance plenty of space to think. He was visibly struggling, a cloud of doubt settling heavily over his head. He sighed, sitting up across from Keith, legs spread on either side of him. It brought them close enough that Lance could bury his face in Keith’s shoulder, exhaling loudly.

“What if I hate it?”

“You won’t.” Keith answered dumbly. This time he noticed the error and quickly backtracked, trying to put more effort into saying the right thing. “But if you do, we’ll figure something else out. Even if things don’t go exactly as planned, I’m just happy to see you again and that you trust me enough to do even try this. That’s enough, Lance. Zero expectations.”

“Okay.” Lance sighed out, brushing his hair back from his face. Keith couldn’t help but smile, watching Lance steel his nerves and become steadily more determined. He nodded to himself, looking to be putting a great deal of thought into it. Then, he reached over to his bedside table and sifted around, hand returning with a condom packet and clapping his hands together. “Okay, yeah. Let’s do this!”

“I’m not sure what it says about my skills as a lover that you have to hype yourself up to have sex with me, but I’ll give you the benefit of a doubt seeing as this is your first time.” Keith muttered jokingly, rolling the condom on and applying even more lube to the mess he was making of the bed. Lance would kill him come tomorrow if he stained these sheets, but right now that seemed awfully unimportant when the outcome was making sure Lance felt as good as possible.

“Are you kidding? This is gonna be my reaction every single time.” Lance teased, the banter coming easily to them even at a time like this. Keith rolled his eyes fondly, placing a hand in the center of Lance’s chest and pushing him back against the mattress. He leaned over him afterward, his breath ghosting across Lance’s lips, their bodies pressed close together. Beneath him, Lance’s hands had settled on his hips to hold them, a silent request to take a pause.

Keith took advantage of the moment, kissing across Lance’s jaw and reveling in the feeling of Lance’s face stretching into a wider smile with each peck of his lips. He pulled back, only to duck his head and nuzzle into Lance’s neck, lapping his tongue across the already-forming marks he’d left there. Lance shivered, his hand coming up to wind deft fingers through Keith’s hair, pushing him away only to pull him back.

In all honesty, Keith might have been teasing a little bit, trying to warm Lance up with the fleeting touches and barely-there stimulation. What he wasn’t expecting was for the tension to snap like a worn elastic, Lance suddenly pulling him back with force and kissing him hard. His hands wound tight in Keith’s hair, his tongue effortlessly dominating the kiss and exploring Keith’s mouth with unwavering confidence, even his hips subtly shifting upward to grind his ass teasingly against Keith’s front.

Keith was met with the very staggering realization that he was in way over his head. He’d made a grave mistake trying to tease someone as taunting and tempting as Lance.

The kiss broke apart to ragged breathing and a soft whimper when Keith’s tooth nicked Lance’s lip particularly harsh. The tension between them was growing heavier with each passing second. Keith was so hard it hurt, the heat of skin-against-skin so close to what he wanted. Beneath him, Lance’s legs had spread impossibly wide, wrapping around Keith’s hips and drawing him in close like the lure of a siren.

With each subtle shift of Lance’s hips as he desperately chased friction on his neglected erection, Keith could feel the tip of his own cock catching on Lance’s stretched and slick rim. He was using every bit of his self control not to try and thrust forward each time. Luckily, Lance seemed to sense his growing urgency, a wry little smirk on his lips.

“Any time now, Keith.” Lance snarked, eyes rolling. Keith debated making a snappy comment back, he really did, but he found it hard to summon anything other than pure unbridled warmth. So he leaned in, burying his face in Lance’s neck to hide the smitten expression he was wearing.

“I’ll make it good for you, I promise.” Keith assured him, his voice so broken with need that the words came across as a plead. He knew what it sounded like, that he was already so far gone he was practically begging. Lance only seemed amused.

“It _better_ be good. I used my last condom on this.” Lance sighed dramatically, patting him on the back.

“You still have your doubts?” Keith muttered darkly, teeth flashing in a wicked grin against the marks littered across Lance’s neck. “You live for this sort of thing, don’t you? All you have to do is look pretty while I do all the work to shower you in praise and pleasure. Very Lance McClain.”

“You’re a dick!” Lance screeched, hammering a fist playfully against Keith’s chest. Keith laughed warmly, placing an exaggerated kiss to Lance’s cheek. With a big pout on his face, Lance relaxed back into the pillows and glowered at him.

Keith grinned sheepishly back, reaching down between them to grip the base of his dick and line up. Lance tensed when he felt the first pressure against his hole, but to his credit he quickly relaxed into it. Taking that as the okay to go ahead, Keith carefully started to sink into him further.

“Tell me if you need me to stop or slow down.”

“I will.” Lance nodded hurriedly, eyes shut tight and making it hard to read him beyond his words. Keith looked to where his hand was fisting the sheets, white-knuckled with how hard his grip had gone. He stopped moving immediately, determined not to move a muscle. He wanted this to be good for Lance, needed it to, the thought of hurting him even the slightest bit was unbearable.

Lance quickly realized he’d been caught in his lie, one of his eyes cracking open to stare toward Keith expectantly. After a few more seconds of Keith not moving forward, the tension in Lance’s shoulders relaxed and they sunk down, having climbed up toward his chin at some point. With a gentle sigh, Keith reached out and grabbed Lance’s hand, unfolding his fingers from the painful fist. Then, he weaved his own through the spaces between, holding his hand tight and giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Be honest with me. Remember when I couldn’t relax the first time we had sex over video call? And you told me it wasn’t going to work unless I could let my guard down?”

“It’s… a lot.” Lance admitted.

“Too much? Do you want to stop and try something else?” Keith asked, already starting to lean away subconsciously. Lance shook his head quickly, squeezing Keith’s hand again and trying to keep him close.

“No. Just stay still for a little bit, let me get used to it.” Lance said, bringing his other hand up to Keith’s back. He ran his fingers over the notches in Keith’s spine, exploring the smooth expanse of skin almost distractedly. With each downward slide, he’d venture a little further, until he was playfully groping one of Keith’s ass cheeks and laughing at the disgruntled shocked noise that tumbled past Keith’s lips. Lance grinned devilishly, relaxing back into the pillows.

Lance spoke up again a moment later, his tone conversational. “And you do this on the regular? With _aliens_ ? _Are they even bigger_ ? _Doesn’t it hurt?!_ ”

“So not having this conversation right now.”

“Fine.” Lance relented, giving Keith a final pat on the butt. He lifted their interlocked hands then, pressing a fleeting kiss to Keith’s knuckles. “Alright. I think I’m ready now.”

“Okay. I’ll go slow.” Keith promised, lifting himself up into a push-up position. Carefully, he rolled his hips forward, gasping at the feeling of tight heat engulfing his cock inch by inch. It’d been a while since he’d fucked anyone, he’d almost forgotten how much he loved this feeling. Lance’s body trembling underneath his, breathy little noises slipping past his lips no matter how he tried to bite them back. Keith felt powerful, his every shift and stutter making Lance cry out in reaction.

Once he was fully seated inside, he stopped to catch his breath. He already felt embarrassingly close just from the feeling of Lance’s body around him, clenching down tight on his cock. It was taking all of his self control not to start fucking him in earnest, chase after the pleasure that was so very close.

He managed to stay still by some miracle, eyes searching Lance’s face. “How are you holding up?”

Up until that point, Lance had been staring absentmindedly up at Keith. Now, his eyes blinked into focus, filled with warmth as they raked over Keith’s expression.

“I think I’m holding up better than you, you look like you’re gonna bust any second now and we haven’t even started.” Lance teased softly, sticking his tongue out. Keith smirked at that, deciding that Lance couldn’t possibly be in too much pain if he was still acting like his usual self. In retaliation, he drew his hips back, sliding home in one smooth, slow thrust for the first time.

Lance cried out, entire body arching up underneath Keith’s with the movement. He tore his hand free from Keith’s, digging ten perfectly-manicured nails into Keith’s back to ground himself. Keith grit his teeth, grinding his hips subtly forward without pulling back any, feeling the way Lance tightened around him desperately each time he’d sink in deeper.

Keith paused again then, leaning back to admire the awed look on Lance’s face, adorably surprised by how much he was actually enjoying himself. Keith doubted it was the best thing he’d ever felt already, but he’d definitely had time to adjust to the point that it wasn’t painful. His face was flushed a deep red, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips no matter how he tried to fight it off.

“Shut-up.” Lance giggled finally, his nails gently easing away from Keith’s skin as he relaxed. He shook his head, leaning up to bury his face into Keith’s neck, heat radiating off of him. “I guess I don’t hate it.”

“Happy to hear it. I just so happen to not hate it either.” Keith mused, turning his head slightly to the side and pressing a kiss to Lance’s messy hair. Lance hummed, a pleased little noise.

With that, Keith started to move again. He kept it as slow as he could, but he picked up a steady rhythm rocking into Lance’s body. Lance definitely wasn’t complaining, a symphony of reedy whimpers and whines filling the air as Lance got progressively more and more vocal with each thrust. His legs were drawing Keith back in each time he’d start to pull out now, demanding to be filled again and again.

Keith quickly lost himself to the sensation, grinding in deep and hard, still at that same agonizingly slow pace. Lance was warm and oh so responsive against him, pressed chest to chest as Keith fucked into him.

“You’re doing so good. You feel amazing.” Keith groaned, surprised by how husky his voice sounded to his own ears. Lance seemed surprised too, his eyes fluttering open to stare into Keith’s despite the close proximity. Keith grinned, pleased to find the same amount of lust and darkness pooling in Lance’s big blue eyes as well. “How is it for you?”

“It’s okay.” Lance managed, breathing in heavy pants already as he struggled to catch his breath. Keith quirked an eyebrow at him. “I’d grade you a solid C+ or so.”

“Is there anything I can do to make it better, your highness?”

“Maybe go faster? I appreciate your effort to go as slow as humanly possible, but I think I need a little bit more than this to get anywhere.” Lance answered, his tone surprisingly earnest then. Keith felt his cock twitch helplessly inside of Lance at the mere thought of speeding up. He’d been fighting the urge for so long, desperately trying to convince himself to put Lance first. Now he didn’t need to be told twice, he hardly had any say in it at all as his hips immediately jumped forward.

“Like that?” Keith grit out, slowing down momentarily until he’d gotten the okay to continue. The noise of protest that clawed its way out of Lance’s throat was almost comical, if it wasn’t also the hottest thing Keith had ever heard. Practically a growl in the way it reverberated around the room, Keith yelped when Lance’s fingers threaded through his hair and tugged hard.

“Keith, please!” Lance shouted, grinding back against Keith’s lap when he didn’t immediately move to start fucking him again. “Please don’t stop. Keep going.”

“I’ve got you.” Keith muttered, any shred of uncertainty he’d still been clinging to fading away, replaced by the raw need he’d heard plain a day in Lance’s voice.

He fucked into Lance in short, erratic thrusts now. His hands gripped at the headboard for support as he sped up, chasing his orgasm rather than shying away from it now. Beneath him, Lance had propped himself up, hands and feet sliding across the sheets as each thrust sent him further up the bed. Keith growled lowly at the sight.

Lance had grown louder too, nonstop pleads and praise filling the room. Keith had never really pegged him as a screamer, but now he felt that he should have known. Lance was always loud and vocal, demanding attention, it only made sense that that’d extend to the bedroom. And did it ever, the moans echoing around the small space were almost torturous in the way they pulled at the heat in Keith’s gut.

“God, yes, just like that!” Lance yelled, throwing his head back and simply gasping for breath. Keith saw the opportunity for what it was and dove forward, biting at Lance’s neck roughly. He felt it when Lance cried out again, the change in angle doing something drastic for him. “Right there, right there!”

Keith’s vision swam, so filled with desire he could hardly think straight. He inhaled deeply, the musk of sex and sweat heavy in the air. His teeth traced Lance’s neck again, nipping just on the edge of too roughly at the junction by his shoulder. Lance didn’t protest, he even tilted his head to the side as if offering himself up to Keith.

He felt it like a physical loss when the final string of his restraint gave way, replaced by a desperation that crawled heavy through his veins. He was close, each thrust sending pleasure pooling in his gut, ebbing on the side of too much. Lance was just so soft and warm underneath him, pliant in his arms, needy and encouraging each time Keith would brush up against his prostate in just the way he needed.

He was so close, so very close, just a little bit more and he’d-

_But Lance_. He had to hold out for Lance, make sure that he felt good first. The current pace wasn’t making that at all possible though, so he subtly tried to slow it down and calm himself. Lance noticed the second he tried to change the pace.

“No, no, no, _Keith_ .” Lance grit out, sounding genuinely peeved. He sat up, hand settling on Keith’s chest and then abruptly pressing upward. Before Keith could make sense of the situation, Lance had used his long legs to roll them. Keith’s head fell into the pillows, giving him a perfect view of where Lance was kneeling over him, keening as he gently lowered himself back onto Keith’s cock. He sunk down to the hilt, whimpering needily. “Don’t _slow down_. You’re supposed to go faster. Fuck me hard.”

“I’m not gonna last.” Keith blurted, throwing his head back and staring up at the ceiling. Lance didn’t slow down any, only began to ride him in earnest. Up and down, tight walls hugging his cock in a filthy slide, the new angle making it feel like he was going impossibly deeper. With constant pleasure shooting through his veins, Keith felt himself slipping over the edge. He threw his head to the side, panting into the pillows. “I can’t, Lance. It’s too much. I’m gonna-”

“Fuck. It’s okay, I’m close too.” Lance gasped, rocking against him hard, trying to find the perfect angle. Keith yelped, his hips bucking up on their own accord. Lance groaned in satisfaction, immediately begging him to do it again.

“Y-Yeah?” Keith managed brokenly, a wave of arousal washing over him. He felt like he was on fire, flames eating away at him and making it impossible to think about anything but how badly he wanted to let go. He wanted to bury himself deep inside of Lance and come hard. He was still feebly trying to hold out though, even as Lance’s body tried to milk him for all he was worth.

“Yeah.” Lance assured him, leaning down to whisper in his ear. “It’s okay, you can come. Go ahead. You did such a good job, made me feel so good.”

Keith came to the sound of Lance’s voice, low and sultry. He couldn’t hold back any longer. He came hard, seeing stars with the sheer force of his orgasm. Pleasure overcame him and he spilled into the condom, hips stuttering weakly forward through his high. Lance rode him through it, unrelenting as he bounced up and down on his cock.

As Keith came down, Lance at least had the sense to slow down a little bit. Keith’s eyes closed tight, reveling in the feeling of pure content as he relaxed back into the pillows. A minute later and Lance grew quickly restless, squirming around in his lap and grinding down hard on his cock. It erred on the side of too much for Keith, overstimulating as it was so soon after an orgasm. He cracked open one eye, resisting the urge to chuckle at the way Lance was struggling to contain himself.

Keith sat up then, pulling Lance to sit properly in his lap.

“Mm.” Keith practically purred, leaning in to kiss him. Lance was out of it, whining and whimpering into his mouth, breath so hot it was burning with how worked up he was. Keith kissed him through it, licking languidly into his mouth, enjoying the desperation rolling off of Lance in waves.

Finally, he pulled back. A smirk was stretched out across his lips, bitten red by Lance’s wanton effort to kiss him back. Amusement showing plain across his features, practically giddy with how good he felt and how good Lance looked writhing in his lap.

With Keith holding him, Lance could hardly lift and drop back down onto his cock, so he ended up just sort of rocking his hips back and forth uselessly in search of any stimulation he could get. Keith couldn’t help it, maybe he had a sadistic streak, but the utter helplessness on Lance’s face was adorably amusing and he found himself unable to wipe the smile from his face. “Hey.”

“Keith.” Lance whimpered, not anywhere near as content with the situation. He was shaking on Keith’s rapidly softening cock, growing pathetically needy. “I’m _so_ close. Just a little bit more.”

Lance looked like he was on the verge of tears when Keith’s hands landed on his hips, gently urging him up and off of his lap. Now Keith definitely felt more than a little bit bad, so he kissed him softly to make up for it, and gently lowered him back against the mattress. Delayed or not, he was still damned determined to make Lance feel better than he ever had.

Lance was still so hard he was leaking a pool of pre-cum onto his stomach and Keith had to bite his lips to keep from immediately going for the kill.

“As valiant of an effort as you’ve made, I don’t think you’re quite to the point where you’re gonna come untouched. It was fun to watch you try, though.” Keith commented gently, using the excess lube between Lance’s legs to coat his fingers. He eased two into Lance with next to no hesitation this time, watching as his body hungrily drew them in deeper. Immediately, he curled them upward, pressing hard with a determined scrunch between his eyebrows until Lance cried out accordingly. He grinned, knowing he’d found the right spot already.

“Wh-” Lance slurred, still mostly drunk on pleasure. Keith started to fuck his fingers into him in earnest, glad he’d been the one to come first so he could truly drink in the expressions that flitted across Lance’s face. He looked utterly blissed out, like he’d never felt better than he did lying there with his legs spread and Keith’s fingers pressing deep inside of him, over and over again, with enough force behind each thrust that slick noises filled the room.

“Don’t tell me you’re that kind of straight guy who doesn’t know where the clit is?” Keith joked, shuffling down to lay on his stomach between Lance’s widespread legs. Lance whimpered pathetically, foot kicking across the sheets when Keith’s fingers hit something just right. Keith continued, only half-convinced that Lance was actually listening to his impromptu sex ed lesson. “Most people, guy or girl, don’t get there from just the having a cock in them part of sex. It’s okay if you need more than that.”

“It felt so good I didn’t think I’d need anything else. I guess I just forgot.” Lance managed weakly in response, hand reaching down to blindly fumble around until it landed in Keith’s hair. Keith leaned up into the touch, grinning and trying not to let it go to his head that he’d actually made Lance feel so good that the thought of touching himself didn’t even come to mind.

“I’m flattered, but this is gonna feel even better.” Keith chuckled, finding himself unable to wait until Lance’s response. He ducked forward, wrapping his lips around Lance’s cock and sucking hard, sinking down as far as his throat would allow just as he pushed a third finger inside of Lance. He fucked Lance with his fingers in earnest, driving them deep and hard inside of him, all while bobbing his head up and down the length of Lance’s weeping cock.

Before Lance even said anything, Keith knew what was coming. He felt it in the way Lance’s body tightened around his slick fingers in an instant, the way his cock twitched hard against the flat of his tongue. The way that Lance’s thighs darted up to hug Keith’s head only solidified his suspicions. Lance cried out in ecstasy, bordering on the verge of a scream if Keith’s hearing wasn’t muffled by those long legs he’d come to love so much.

“Oh!” Lance shouted, hands fisting Keith’s hair with growing urgency. It was like he couldn’t decide whether he wanted more or less, whether it was too much or not enough, so he just sort of ended up tugging Keith back and forth until he was doing all the work himself. He didn’t even seem to realize it in the heat of the moment, but he was using Keith’s mouth shamelessly, sliding home and hitting the back of his throat with every impulsive thrust upward paired with a tug downward on his hair. “Keith, I’m gonna-”

Keith moaned, wrist stuttering forward one last time to rub his fingers against Lance’s prostate as he finally toppled over the edge. Hot, thick cum flooded Keith’s mouth not even a second later, spilling across his tongue and down his throat. He swallowed what he could, whimpering pathetically as he tried not to get turned on all over again.

Lance moaned his way through it in a broken sort-of way, chest heaving as he panted for air like he was the one suffocating between thick thighs and not Keith.

Keith didn’t get the liberty of coming up for air for another minute, when Lance’s tightly-wound body finally relaxed back into the mattress. Keith choked a little bit as he sat up, swiping the back of his hand across his mouth and chin. There was definitely some kind of jab ready to be said, something about how Lance suited being a bottom better than he ever had, but before he said a word of it he bit his tongue.

One glance in Lance’s direction and Keith immediately realized he didn’t wanna be the one to break the moment. Lance was staring up at the ceiling with heavily-lidded eyes, a satisfied grin stretched so wide across his face that Keith was starting to feel the slightest bit shy. Surely _he_ didn’t do that, right? Lance looked like a man who’d seen _God_.

He also looked startlingly beautiful, hair mussed around his face and eyelashes fluttering. His skin carrying a full-body flush, shiny and smooth with sweat. He looked like he was made to be there, a god of sex, a demon sent here specifically to ruin Keith’s life, to claim Keith’s cock just like he had his heart.

Keith finally couldn’t take it anymore. He reached up, fingertips tracing Lance’s cheek. Lance’s grin faltered for half a second, then returned somehow even stronger. He leaned into Keith’s touch, yawning tiredly. Keith tried not to swoon, but he was fighting a losing battle here. “You are… unreal.”

“You’re not so bad yourself. I might even upgrade you to a B+ if you get down here and cuddle me right now.” Lance mumbled, hands reaching needily forward. Keith collapsed next to him, uncaring when Lance cuddled into him not even a moment later, despite the stickiness of the atmosphere.

Keith wrapped his arms around him, holding him close and reveling in the fading passion giving way to something just as meaningful, but gentler. It felt less hot and desperate, but just as heavy and important.

Keith couldn’t remember a time he’d ever felt so at peace, like he could fall asleep the very second his eyes fell shut. He wanted to snuggle in close and just bask in the moment, make the most of every moment in fear he’d never find someone who could make him feel like this again. He felt loved, ironically enough.

“Alright, we need to clean up.” He sighed, beginning to sit up and trying to take Lance with him. That was about as good of an idea as he’d figured it would be. Lance immediately began to protest. At first it was just an unimpressed groan, but as Keith continued to shuffle around he upgraded to trying to pin Keith back into the mattress with the full extent of his weight.

“Do we _need_ to?” Lance whimpered, pouting his bottom lip out and trying to convince Keith to just let it go. He looked soft and sleepy, like he’d be fully content to just fall asleep like that. Keith knew from experience that was a terrible idea though, and in hindsight he’d wished his partners had warned him of that, had made more of an effort to clean him up so he wouldn’t be quite so sore and uncomfortable later.

But Lance wasn’t hearing a word he said. He’d already rolled over and shoved his face into the pillows, even going so far as to let out a little growl of sorts when Keith made an attempt to shake him back awake. That seemed like a failure on the getting Lance out of bed front, but Keith figured he probably deserved to rest all things considered. He would grab a wet cloth and do what he could without Lance’s cooperation.

He climbed out of the bed, a sleepy smile on his face. He took the condom off, tying it and throwing it effortlessly into Lance’s trash. Then, as all sex seemed to lead to, he stumbled around naked and half-asleep, eventually finding a pair of Lance’s jogging pants on the floor and pulling those on. He turned back to the bed, fully expecting to find Lance already passed out.

Instead, he was met with wide blue eyes staring back at him.

“Where are you going?” Lance asked, eyes narrowed challengingly. It almost sounded like a threat, funnily enough. It didn’t take much to see through it though, to see the insecurity and the worry lying under the surface of the words. Hell, even Lance’s bottom lip was trembling with poorly-concealed emotion. A silent plead to stay, to make him feel desired still, to take care of him.

Keith felt like the sheer amount of emotion in his own chest could double him over, the need to do everything Lance wanted swamping him. He clambered back into the bed, practically tripping over his own feet in his rush. He gripped Lance’s face between his hands, kissing him soft and slow, drawing the moment out just a little bit longer.

He tried to relax him, to show that same love _he’d_ been feeling before in the embrace. He’d never tried something remotely similar before, both because he’d never loved anyone quite like this and because he’d never been good at expressing himself, but if there was one thing he wanted to get right it was this. He needed Lance to know how much he cared, even if it would dance on the edge of outing himself and his feelings.

“I’ll be right back.” Keith promised, pressing their foreheads together. “Wet cloth. Clean pair of pajamas. A change of sheets. Water bottles. Snacks.”

Lance blinked, taking a moment to realize what the list meant. Then he was grinning again, bashful and shy, but definitely thankful. He wrapped his arms around Keith, pulling him down with him into the messy sheets and encircling him with long limbs in a koala-like embrace.

“Oh, I’m so glad I’m in the hands of an experienced man.” He cooed, peppering Keith’s face with light kisses. Keith flushed in embarrassment, becoming abruptly aware of Lance’s nakedness and the fact only a worn pair of joggers was separating their bodies now. Despite what they’d just done, he still couldn’t help but feel a bit overwhelmed. He gently pushed Lance away, stumbling to his feet instead.

“Okay, I’m gonna go. I’ll be right back though. I promise.” Lance nodded, looking up at him tiredly and watching him go. Keith left the room a man on a mission, determined to bring back the coziest possible sheets and the best snacks in the whole damn castle.

He returned fifteen minutes later with an armful full of stuff and sheets draped over his back like a cape, looking like an utter idiot prancing through the halls. He could only hope that no one had been lurking around late at night to see him, bumbling around with a lunatic’s smile on his face. As it was, Kosmo caught him in the kitchens somehow and followed him back to Lance’s room, whether he was tagging along because he was happy to see Keith or the food in Keith’s arms was uncertain.

Keith walked into Lance’s room as quietly as he could, setting down all the supplies he’d gathered. He turned toward the bed then, not all that surprised to find Lance with his face buried into the pillow again, definitely asleep this time. Keith debated his next move for a second before taking the wet cloth and carefully cleaning Lance up, hoping not to wake him.

Once he was finished making sure Lance was clean, he debated for a long moment how to change the sheets without waking him and then ultimately decided it’d have to be a task for tomorrow. So he just stretched the sheet out across one half of the bed and then very discreetly rolled Lance onto the dry side of the bed, deciding that was the best he could manage.

Then he went to climb into his side of the bed, and… he hesitated.

He watched dismally as Kosmo climbed into the bed in his place, making himself completely comfortable like it was a normal occurrence to sleep in Lance’s room. Maybe it should be. Maybe if Keith wasn’t living in a world of hidden feelings and secret emotions, it would be. It was no lack of wanting to that kept him from climbing into the bed, more it was the unsettling amount that he did want it.

It felt like lying. To know what it was he wanted so very clearly, and to know it didn’t line up with what Lance wanted or thought they had. He wondered if it’d be different, if Lance knew how he felt. He couldn’t imagine telling him, not before all of this and certainly not now. But didn’t he owe it to him after all of this? Especially if it’d drastically change their relationship if he knew?

Keith frowned.

“Keith.” Lance’s voice was tired, a scratchy drawl that expressed no emotion. Keith jumped at the sound of it, thoroughly convinced he’d managed to do all of that without waking Lance. Maybe it was a little hard to believe in hindsight, but he’d just assumed Lance had been a pretty heavy sleeper. Keith sat down on the edge of the bed, watching as Lance slowly and begrudgingly lifted his head, scowling up at Keith.

“Yeah?” Keith gulped, smiling kindly. “Thirsty?”

“Stop pacing and just get in the bed.” Lance snapped, reaching out and latching onto Keith’s wrist. He yanked hard and Keith yelped, toppling over Kosmo and into the bed next to Lance. He didn’t even have time to react before Lance attacked, rolling half on top of him. “You can overthink this tomorrow.”

“I wasn’t pacing.” Keith defended stubbornly, even though the fight was quickly leaving him as he watched Lance go about making himself comfortable. He rolled around, snuggling in to Keith’s chest and then his neck, hitching a leg over Keith’s hips only to drop it back down just as quick. He sighed each time he’d fail to find the right position, as if genuinely distraught. Was that really the biggest concern he had right now? He wasn’t thinking about any of this?

Keith decided to just come out and ask. “You don’t regret it, do you? I just feel like this was kind of a big deal to you and I don’t want to tarnish your first experience by-”

“It was good, buddy.” Lance interrupted him, hand fumbling upward and settling over Keith’s face, patting it awkwardly. Keith coughed indignantly. “You did good. Fucked like a champ.”

“At least _pretend_ to take my concerns seriously.”

“Sorry if it seems a little ridiculous that you’re questioning yourself after giving me the best orgasm of my young life.” Lance snarked back, continuing to squirm around in an attempt to find the perfect position, all bony elbows and knees, hardly the easiest person to cuddle with. “The only thing that could make it better is if you took a hint and fucking held me already.”

Keith blinked.

He tried and failed to fight off a smile.

“Right.” He laughed, shaking his head at his own stupidity. He opened his arms then, drawing Lance in against his chest and keeping him there. His hand settled in Lance’s hair, fingers running soothingly through the short locks, smoothing out the unruly tangles. Lance sighed contently, going lax against Keith like he’d truly just passed out instantaneously, finding the right position be damned.

Keith hesitated, his fingers freezing. He felt that he had to say something more, like he hadn’t expressed himself quite clearly enough. He didn’t have the right words right now, and it probably wouldn’t be the right time even if he did. He just… felt that he had to add something more.

He hurriedly spoke up without bothering to overthink it, hoping Lance hadn’t fallen asleep yet. “It was mine too, just so you know. My best.”

For a long moment, no response came. Keith worried he’d missed his chance. Then, just when all hope seemed lost, Lance snorted out a laugh into the curve of his neck.

“Go to sleep, you idiot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really love how this smut scene turned out?? or at least the end half of it gfkjhfg. I usually struggle with first time smut because I either make it Too awkward so it's not enjoyable to the reader, or TOO spicy to the point it isn't realistic for a first time? And I think I'm starting to find the balance now.
> 
> ALSO !!!!!! BIG NEWS !!!!! I've moved on from the death of my nsfw tumblr and I've now made a nsfw twitter! It's mostly gonna be klance just like my tumblr was, but there will probably be more casual updates on smut works I'm writing and I might even do like fun little polls on what you guys think I should write? I'll link the acc down below but it's @redgaysonly
> 
> also yes, i updated early because i was excited to talk about my new nsfw twitter acc, u caught me
> 
> https://twitter.com/MelancholyMango  
> https://twitter.com/redgaysonly (NSFW TWITTER)  
> http://melancholymango.tumblr.com  
> http://miscreantmango.tumblr.com (nsfw)
> 
> (PS: three of my friends also made nsfw twitter accounts last night and if you wanna follow them and keep up with the Group Antics!! jillian who is matching with me @bluegaysonly, and then kat @mayhapsblue and haley @mayhapsred.)
> 
> (PPS: Yes, i somehow promo'd five different twitter accs in one author's note im that bitch!!! its 2019, these are big friend loving hours and i promise you these people are all wonderful creators and people.)


	14. Chapter 14

See, Lance wasn’t expecting much really. He knew that Keith wasn’t really the romantic type and he was fine with that. Last night had been enough for him. Everything had gone so wonderfully last night, he didn’t have any expectations left in him for the morning after really. It wasn’t like he was hoping to wake up to breakfast in bed and Keith telling him he’d poured a bubble bath for them to share (not that he’d complain if a miracle happened and he did). No, he was just hoping to wake up on his own terms, with Keith still in the bed, warm and cozy.

He should have known that was asking for too much, though.

Instead, he woke up to a wet drag of a tongue across his entire face and a lot of yelling. Lance shivered in disgust, trying to shove Kosmo’s massive form off the bed with only a little bit of difficulty. He cracked an eye open, looking over at where Keith was standing in the middle of the room, wearing nothing but his stupid Marmora underwear, gesturing wildly with his hands. Lance hesitantly looked to the doorway, where Krolia was standing with a totally impassive expression while her son cursed her out for not respecting his privacy.

Lance let out a long exasperated sigh and pulled the covers over his head.

“Why can’t you just knock?! Or better yet, don’t use my own dog to sniff out where I’m at like some kind of stalker! Just call my phone!”

“I don’t like the communicators, I would prefer to speak face to face.”

“I would prefer not to!”

“Alright. I’ll remember that for next time. As it is, we’re leaving in ten doboshes. You need to prepare for departure or else we won’t make it in time.”

“Okay!”

“And wake your mate if you intend to bring him with us.”

“He’s not-” Keith hesitated, stumbling over his words. Lance smirked from where he was hiding under the covers, just barely managing to stifle a laugh. Keith, on the other hand, had taken to screeching indignantly in embarrassment. And he’d somehow fooled the whole team into thinking Lance was the loud and dramatic one, oh ho ho. “Get out!”

“Fine.” Krolia sighed dismissively, the sound of the door swishing shut following. Keith let out a heavy sigh then, like he couldn’t possibly go on. Lance stayed where he was, eyes shut and breathing evening out, intending to fall back asleep. He was almost there when the bed dipped beside him, a hand settling on his shoulder over the blankets.

“Lance?” Keith called softly. Lance frowned, shifting away from the touch. Keith laid down then, sliding in closer and carefully pulling the covers back the slightest bit. He peered into the darkness underneath, where Lance’s sleepy blue eyes were glaring back. “Hey, I’m so sorry about that.”

“You can’t convince me to get out of this bed.” Lance said immediately, straight to the point. There was no point in Keith trying to be discreet about it, Lance knew what he was sucking up for. It wasn’t gonna happen. Lance didn’t even need to go on that dumb mission. “I’m gonna be tired for the rest of my life after that rude wake up call.”

“Come on, Lance, please.” Keith pleaded, lifting the covers again to duck completely under them. They both stared at each other in the minimal lighting underneath, neither one budging the slightest bit on the argument. Keith’s expression open and pleading, Lance’s closed off and annoyed. “I’ll make it up to you later.”

“How?” Lance deadpanned, unimpressed.

“When we get back, we’ll sleep in as late as you want.” Keith offered, grinning convincingly. Lance hummed, pondering the offer. Even the best case scenario before had been sleeping in until the space equivalent of 9am, Keith was such a damned early riser. If Lance had it his way they’d spend half the day in bed, thank-you very much. Keith was offering him just that.

Still...

“ _And_ you’ll make me breakfast in bed?”

“Sure.”

“ _And_ run us a bubble bath we can share?”

“Uh, I guess so?”

Lance grinned to himself, a wry little smile at getting his way. Maybe Keith wasn’t the romantic type on his own, but he could learn to be.

“Then _I guess_ I’ll get out of bed.”

\--

The mission was off to a good start, everything seemed to be going exactly how they’d planned it. Maybe that should have been the first red flag, in hindsight. They were just too relieved to think too much into it for once, happy to find that the building was patrolled by mostly sentries, no living beings in sight. Lance had a slight limp to him from the night before and Keith had been hovering constantly, protective past the point of cute and straight into annoying territory. He’d backed off a little bit since finding only the powered-down sentries inside though.

Things only really took a turn for the worse toward the very end of their mission scouting out the old shipping warehouse.

“Krolia, come in! Have you secured the third floor yet?” Keith yelled into the communicator for the tenth time, his voice having grown increasingly more urgent each time. He was pacing back and forth, up and down the hallway that they found themselves waiting in. On the surface, he looked mostly angry with the fact the mission was on pause until they heard back from her, but Lance could see through the act easily enough. He was worried sick for her.

Keith cursed, pocketing the communicator again.

Lance’s helmet crackled as Pidge’s voice came through, their words strained.

“Guys, you’re running out of time.” Pidge told them. “I can only hack the system for so long before they figure out how to fix it. The sentries will come back online soon. Stay in there much longer and you’ll have a lot of difficulty getting back to the lions.”

Lance turned to Keith, ready to pass the message on. He jumped in surprise to find Keith standing right next to him, leaning in close to eavesdrop on his own. Lance shoved him away with a grumble.

“What are we going to do?” Lance asked him, biting his lip. Keith sighed, looking toward the stairs they’d been hesitating to climb. Krolia was supposed to give them okay before they moved on to the next floor, that was the plan. She went ahead of them with Kosmo to scout it out and they hadn’t heard anything back.

“Alright, follow my lead.” Keith said, determination flaring in his eyes. Lance fell into step behind him, holding tight to his gun. They climbed the stairs, walking out into a large loading bay filled with shipping crates. Keith stiffened, looking around the first few corners before turning back to Lance. “It seems safe, let’s move quick and quiet. We don’t know what Krolia did or didn’t see and-”

Lance watched in horror as a cloaked figure jumped down onto the crate beside them, throwing a few bottles filled with a sloshing pink liquid toward them. Lance managed to dodge each one, having seen them coming. He turned to the enemy just in time to watch them run off.

He moved to follow, only to realize Keith wasn’t beside him.

Lance looked back, eyes widening in horror to see Keith wringing pink liquid from his hair. Lance stumbled quickly closer, looking him over for any signs of injury. Nothing seemed to be going wrong on the surface, so at least it wasn’t acid or anything. Lance sighed in relief.

“How do you feel right now?” He asked, holding Keith’s jaw and tilting his head from side-to-side. Keith grumbled, shoving his hands away, never one to be worried about.

“I don’t really feel any different? I think I’m good to go.” Keith insisted, turning and taking a dramatic step forward just to prove his point. Lance frowned, feeling uncertain. Keith took three more steps without trouble, but on the fourth he stumbled. Lance watched as he toppled forward. He dove forward just in time to catch him before he hit the ground.

“Keith!” Lance hissed, looking at him in annoyance. “Now isn’t the time for you to do your tough guy act, you’ll get us both killed if you mess up on the field.”

“I’m a little dizzy.” Keith admitted, rubbing his eyes. Lance sighed, sliding an arm under his shoulders and dragging him toward one of the shipping crates. He pried it open, pleased to find it empty inside. Keith stumbled along beside him like a drunken mess, even with Lance’s support.

Lance set him down in the back corner of the shipping crate, frowning at the way Keith naturally started to slump toward the floor like he couldn’t keep himself upright. “It feels like the ground is moving and the walls are closing in on me. I don’t feel… real.”

“You’re staying right here, you hear me? I’ll take care of everything and come back for you.” Lance told him, leaving no room for argument. He was sure that Keith would try, he always did. As long as he could physically move, he always thought he ought to be out on the frontlines doing the most he could. But Lance wasn’t having that, this was one close encounter too many and he wasn’t risking another.

“Lance.” Keith whined, moving to stand. Lance watched him tumble forward, feeling no satisfaction at having his point proven. He set Keith back up in the corner, giving him support on both sides. Keith scowled the whole time, even when Lance took the time to tie his wet hair out of his face.

It wasn’t until Lance was turning to leave that Keith spoke up, words slightly slurred. “Just make sure you take care of _yourself_.”

“I will.” Lance assured him, smiling back at him.

Then he took off, determined to find whoever did this to Keith and anyone else involved. He ran through the room, checking every nook and cranny for anyone else and finding the entire room unnervingly empty. He moved slower then, making sure he kept as silent as possible.

He turned another corner, gun flying up when he saw someone a few feet away. It took him a moment to register that he recognized the bulky form hurtling toward him, that it was only Kosmo. He managed to stop Kosmo before he was tackled to the ground, gently asking where he could find Krolia. With Kosmo leading the way, Lance ran ahead. They swerved between shipping crates, eventually coming to a stop in front of one of them.

Lance peered inside, eyes widening at the pile of enemies tied up inside. Krolia was grilling them for information, her lips curled back in a snarl-like formation, shoulders hulking, the picture of intimidating. Lance had a very brief moment of wondering what he was getting himself into, messing around with someone whose parent could probably break his body in half, but decided now wasn’t the time.

“Krolia, do you have everything under control?”

“Yes.” Krolia answered immediately, not at all shocked by Lance’s sudden appearance. She turned around and then the impassive expression was gone in an instant. Her eyes flared with concern, urgently darting around in search of her son. She looked to Lance with what could only be interpreted as disappointment, something that sent a nervous chill down his spine. “Where’s Keith?”

“He got hit with something. He’s immobile, I left him somewhere for his own safety.” Lance informed her, trying to keep his tone neutral. She sighed, turning back to the enemies piled on the floor with a cold glare, no doubt realizing one of them must have done the damage.

“Go get him, we need to get out of here now. We didn’t get all the information we needed, but this is getting too dangerous. You carry him and I’ll make sure the path is clear all the way to the lions.” Krolia said, nodding toward the direction Lance had come from. Lance didn’t miss the unspoken knowledge that she was going to take care of things here, likely sending him away on purpose so she could kill off the Galra she’d gathered. It was the Marmoran way, after all, death seemed to cloud everything they did.

Voltron had always tried their best not to kill anyone, had preferred to take prisoners if they could. It was naive, Lance realized that now more than ever, but it was still chilling to see how ruthless the other soldiers were. It was even more uncomfortable to think that Keith worked side-by-side with them, that if it weren’t for Voltron he might be just like that.

Lance was growing increasingly more transparent in just how much he hated Keith being a part of the Blades, but that didn’t make it any easier. He still felt bad. He wanted Keith to learn more about his family and his ancestry, he just couldn’t stand by and let him learn by putting his life on the line.

Still, Lance was quick to follow Krolia’s orders, eager to get back to Keith anyway. He ran the whole way back, this time with Kosmo falling into step beside him. Despite Keith’s almost childish fear that Kosmo liked Krolia better, it was clear that when it mattered most Kosmo would always prefer to be by Keith’s side, and now that was impossible to deny. It was like Kosmo could sense that something wasn’t quite right with Keith, speeding up halfway there to the point Lance had trouble keeping up. He fought through it though, knowing that Kosmo knew what he was doing.

He found the right shipping crate with little difficulty. Wrenching the door open, he was half afraid of what he’d see inside.

Keith was in the same spot he’d left him, but now he was double over forward like he’d fallen unconscious. That sent Lance into a panic for a multitude of reasons. He ran forward, skidding across the floor to Keith’s side and slapping him lightly on the side of the face, trying to wake him.

“Oh no. No, no, no. Keith?” Lance pressed his fingers to Keith’s pulse point, letting out a broken sob of relief to find it was still there. It seemed steady enough, but Lance knew better than to trust how things looked on the surface. He hoisted Keith up then, carrying him in his arms bridal style out of the shipping crate, muttering worriedly under his breath. He moved quickly, wanting to get them both back to safety as soon as possible.

Halfway to the lions Keith’s eyes drifted open, unfocused and hazy but still awake.

“Lance?” Keith mumbled, his head falling onto Lance’s shoulder when he failed to keep holding it in an upright position. His breathing was labored, deep and unsteady at the same time. “I don’t know what they hit me with, but I don’t feel good at all. It’s like my head’s _imploding_.”

“Keith, you need to stay with me.” Lance told him, propping him up a little higher. Keith hummed in acknowledgement and started to slump in his arms again. Lance panicked, not liking the idea of him falling unconscious, fearing that he wouldn’t wake back up.

He kept talking, nervously rambling and trying to keep Keith awake. “These past few weeks without you have been so hard, I need you to stick around for me so I don’t have to go through that again. Can you do that? Keith? Do it for me?”

“Don’t worry about me. The mission-”

“Screw the mission!” Lance hissed, ending Keith’s unintelligible muttering. They both fell silent, urgency written across Lance’s face as he stared down at the man in his arms. Even in Keith’s delirious state, he seemed to realize the heavy emotion behind Lance’s words. It meant a lot more than the words themselves, that much was obvious. Lance sighed. “You’re more important. Always.”

Keith stared up at him with a soft gaze, his eyes starting to drift closed again. Lance prepared to shake him awake, but suddenly he seemed to shake himself out of it. Keith blinked his eyes open, laughing breathlessly as he buried his face into Lance’s neck.

“God, I love you.” He mused, soft and dismissive, like it was the simplest thing in the world to admit to.

“You… love me?” Lance’s mind blanked. A whirlwind of thoughts ran through him, confusion mixed up hopes and fears, emotions he’d been trying to swallow down since he saw Keith again. He wanted to be a mature person, say that he stayed focused on the mission and didn’t let Keith’s rambling distract him whatsoever, but he just couldn’t. He felt like he couldn’t breathe until he mulled this over.

What did Keith mean by that? That he was in love with Lance? Did he feel the same? He had a million and one questions he wanted to ask, but he didn’t get the chance to get a single one out.

“Mhm.” Keith hummed, giggling tiredly. The laughter slowly filtered out though, replaced by heavy breathing. Lance stiffened, realizing Keith had passed out again in his arms.

“Hold on, buddy, I got you.” Lance assured him, deciding that making sure they got to safety was more important than untangling whatever he’d meant by that. Lance couldn’t afford to be distracted right now, he had a very important job to do. And if he held on to Keith just the slightest bit tighter as he ran the rest of the way, no one had to know.

They made it to the bridge just in time to see the yellow lion sweeping in, ready to help Lance carry the black lion home. Krolia and Kosmo boarded the yellow lion. Lance carried Keith into Red and settled them both down into the pilot’s chair, knowing they were running out of time. Keith was out like a light anyway and Lance was pretty sure nothing he had here could revive him.

No sooner than had the three lions lifted off the ground did the robots come back to life, shooting at them periodically as they flew off. They made it out of there just in time. Hunk’s excited shouts filtered through Lance’s helmet, as well as a few comments from Krolia and even a bark from Kosmo. Lance grinned, happy that everyone had made it out safely.

Well, mostly safe.

He looked down at Keith now that they were well out of harm’s way, taking the time to examine his unconscious friend. He looked peaceful at least, his face wasn’t screwed up in pain like he was hurt or having nightmares. And his hair had mostly dried now, any trace of the pink substance that’d been thrown on him hard to find. Lance had to hope that everything was alright.

They were only a few doboshes away from the castle when Keith began to stir, squirming around in his lap and whimpering slightly in his sleep. Lance panicked, uncertain what to do. He sped up just the slightest bit more, unable to use the full expanse of Red’s speed when he was carrying Black with Hunk’s help. He debated just speeding ahead anyway, telling the others to go back for Hunk and help him. He needed to get Keith into a healing pod, he was sure of that much.

“Hey.” Lance cooed softly, reaching out to brush Keith’s hair back in his sleep. He found it was plastered to his forehead with sweat and frowned. “We’re almost home. Just a little bit longer.”

“Lance.” A voice croaked back, quiet and small, audibly confused. Lance blinked, staring wide-eyed down at Keith. His eyes were open again now, looking around the cockpit in a disoriented squint.

“You’re awake?!” Lance quickly composed himself, noticing the way Keith’s eyebrows were pinched tensely together. He was in pain. Lance began to worry immediately, propping Keith up better and finding that Keith had absolutely no strength to hold himself that way.

Keith stared down at his lap dazedly and for a moment Lance thought he was drifting off again, but then he gasped in shock and Lance’s protective instincts went back into overdrive. “What’s wrong? Where does it hurt? Just tell me what to do and I’ll do it. Keith, I need to know what-”

“I can’t find my fingers.” Keith mumbled under his breath, the words barely audible. Lance blinked, looking down at Keith’s hands. There was no point in the flight home where Keith’s fingers could have fallen off without Lance noticing, he was paying too close attention for that.

“What?” Lance laughed at what he saw, reaching down to poke Keith’s hand. “Your hands are in fists, the fingers are still there.”

“I need my fingers, Lance, what am I gonna do?!” Keith choked out, sounding genuinely distraught. Lance turned, watching as tears began to roll down Keith’s cheeks. “How can I hold a sword with no fingers?!”

The humor gone from the situation suddenly, Lance reached down and carefully pried open Keith’s fists for him. Keith sniffled, seeing all ten of his fingers still present.

“See? Still there.”

“Thanks, Lance.” Keith hummed, sounding perfectly content, the stress already forgotten. He leaned back against Lance’s chest again. “You’re so smart.”

“Now I know circumstances must be dire, you _never_ call me smart.” Lance joked, his humor lost on the Keith sitting in his lap. He was completely out of it. Lance had never seen him like this and he could only hope it wasn’t something permanent.

\--

Lance was half asleep when the door finally creaked open, but the second he heard it he was out of his seat. He jumped onto unsteady feet, staring hopefully as Coran finally left the med bay. He walked out, Pidge hot on his trail. Neither of them seemed particularly surprised to see Lance still there, even though everyone else had gone to bed hours ago when Pidge explained how long of a process it’d be to figure out what the substance was and how to combat it.

“Is he gonna be okay? Did you figure out what was wrong? Is he dying?!”

“Calm down.” Pidge groaned, grabbing Lance’s shoulders and walking him backward until he fell back onto the bench. He took a moment to force himself to calm down, closing his eyes and taking deep even breaths. Pidge watched with a sympathetic sort of smile.

Eventually, deeming him ready, they moved to sit beside him then. “As far as we can tell, the substance was a sort of poison that targets the brain. He’s not at risk of any permanent harm, we caught it in time to combat the poison before it attacked anything that might be crucial. However, even though our medicine is fighting the poison, the poison _is_ still there.”

“So? What does that mean for him?” Lance asked, looking between Pidge and Coran with wide eyes.

“So, recovery will be a process as it dissipates.” Coran added, his lips in a tight line. Pidge nodded their agreement. “He’s incredibly weakened by the poison in his system and needs a week or two to rest up. Right now the toxins are very concentrated so he’s having difficulty thinking clearly, but as time passes he should slowly come back to himself.”

Lance nodded slowly, processing all the information. The relief he felt was tangible, like a weight the size of the universe had been lifted from his chest. He could breathe again, albeit unsteady and nervous. He couldn’t help but think of the “what-ifs” of the situation. This was an unsettlingly close call, even for them, and the idea of what could have happened terrified him.

“What would have happened if I didn’t get him out of there when I did?”

“It might have gotten to a point where he couldn’t come back from the damage done to his brain, but there’s no use stressing about that now.” Coran told him, giving him a firm clap on the shoulder. Lance sighed heavily, leaning forward and burying his face into his hands. Beside him, Pidge patted his back.

“He’s okay, Lance. You did what you had to. You were there when he needed you to be. It’s okay.”

“Can I see him?” He asked suddenly, sitting up.

“You can.” Coran smiled, gesturing toward the door. Lance hopped to his feet, walking hesitantly into the room. Inside, Keith was sitting in a medical bed, Slav kneeling beside it and stumbling around the room working on something. Lance ignored him, walking straight to Keith’s side and settling into the chair there.

“Keith? How are you feeling?” He asked, grabbing one of Keith’s hands in both of his. Keith, who had been staring off into space, abruptly turned to look at him. He lit up in a smile and Lance felt his heart pound dangerously fast in his chest, the strong urge to cry overwhelming him. He blinked back tears, well-aware of the others standing a few feet away.

“Lance!” Keith grinned, reaching both arms out toward him. Lance let himself be grabbed and clumsily pulled in closer, until he was sprawled awkwardly half on the bed with Keith. “Where have you been? It’s been so long. I missed you.”

“Somebody’s extra clingy.” Pidge snorted, coming to stand beside the bed. Lance looked up at them with intentions of defending the situation, but then Keith just tugged harder on his hair until Lance was back to paying attention to him. He turned, laughing at the way Keith was grinning at him.

“He was loopy before, add in the pain medication and he’s completely out of it.” Coran mused, looking over a few of the screens to make sure everything was in order. “He seems to be in good spirits though.”

“Yeah, since Lance got here.” Pidge muttered knowingly, rolling their eyes. Lance shot a glare in their direction before turning back to Keith, cupping his face in his hands.

“How are you feeling?” Lance asked gently, subtly letting one hand shift lower and press to Keith’s pulse point again. Strong and steady. Physical proof that everything was surely going to be okay. Lance took a shaky breath.

Keith, on the other hand, seemed to be putting a great deal of thought into his answer. He bit his lip, clearly debating what to say. Finally, he reached a conclusion. He nuzzled into Lance’s palm, the same wide grin from before gracing his face.

“Good.” Keith said simply, like that was the perfect answer he’d taken so long to come up with. Lance smiled encouragingly at him, deciding that was pretty much exactly what he wanted to hear anyway.

Beside him, Coran pulled up a chair and started flipping through a book. Lance looked around, realizing no one was making any effort to get Keith out of the bed. He frowned in realization.

“I can watch him tonight, if you want.” Lance offered, shifting protectively closer to the bed.

“Oh, it’s no trouble. I have no other responsibilities and you’re probably getting tired.” Coran didn’t even look up from the book, only shook his head dismissively. Lance shifted from one foot to the other, feeling awkward as he struggled to come up with any reason not to leave. Keith was back to holding his hand, distractedly playing with his fingers and giggling breathlessly to himself. Lance wouldn’t leave him if the universe depended on it in that moment.

“Coran, I think Lance has it under control.” Pidge spoke up suddenly, their eyebrows raised. Coran did look up then. He took one look at them and then realization graced his features. Lance looked back and forth between them in confusion.

“It really scared me out there today, I don’t want to let him out of my sight.” He explained. Coran looked at him with a smug look on his face. He got to his feet, setting his book aside.

“I understand.” Coran winked at Pidge in a way that was probably meant to be discreet but failed rather horribly. He started out of the room then, walking backward so he could keep the conversation going even longer. “We’ll give you two some _privacy_.”

“Pidge, what did you tell Coran?” Lance sighed out the moment the door had closed. Pidge looked at him with betrayal written across their features.

“Nothing!” Pidge insisted. Then, once Slav had headed out of the room on his own time, Pidge looked back to Lance with a sheepish smile. “Keith might have told him you guys are fucking.”

“And he believed the guy out of his mind with poison in his brain?”

“Er, well, he was pretty descriptive actually. And no, Coran didn’t believe him at first, but when I pieced the puzzle together and figured out all the timelines added up, Coran _did_ believe me.” Pidge admitted, refusing to look him in the eye. Lance sighed, looking down at Keith with a scowl. He hardly managed to grasp onto his anger for a second before Keith was looking up at him, a totally clueless grin on his face. Lance caved immediately, smiling kindly back.

“Whatever, get out of here.” Lance huffed, waving his hand dismissively. Pidge moved as if to leave, then doubled back and settled a hand on Lance’s back instead.

“He’s okay, Lance.” They reminded him, soft and understanding. Lance nodded, turning to look at them and the earnest expression they were wearing. Lance sighed.

“I can’t help it. This really got to me.”

“Stop looking at him like he’s gonna disappear right in front of you and enjoy the time you do have together. Trust me, it’s better that way.” Pidge explained, in a surprising show of emotion. Lance smiled kindly at them, nodding in agreement. They were right, after all. He knew that, it was just hard to talk sense into himself. He watched as they turned to leave, walking out of the room slowly.

Finally, it was just the two of them. Lance turned, a question already on the tip of his tongue and begging to be spoken.

“So, Keith, about what you said before…” Lance trailed off at the lack of response. He’d been nervously refusing to look Keith in the eye, instead staring at their hands. He’d suddenly realized now that Keith was no longer fiddling with his fingers, his hand limp where it rested in Lance’s. Lance looked to his face, snorting out a laugh at the slack-jawed and drooling way Keith had fallen asleep. “Aaaand, you’re asleep. Go figure.”

Keith let out a loud snore at that, as if to really drive the fact home.

Lance smiled, shifting closer and making himself comfortable. “Well, I’ve waited this long.”

\--

The next day brought with it its own specific set of challenges. Keith definitely improved slightly overnight, now he was less incapable of comprehending the world around him, and more just normal Keith with his every emotion and reaction amped up past the usual maximum. He was whiny, grumpy, and impossible to get along with. It was like trying to interact with a wild bear.

Despite his mind coming back to him, his body was still pretty weak which meant Lance had to help with simple things like carrying him between rooms, feeding him, and dressing him. Keith had enough sense about him now to complain vehemently through each task though, insisting futilely that he could do it himself.

Lance was at his wit’s end when Hunk and Pidge finally found them. He was sprawled out over the table, face pressed into the flat of the wood. Keith was propped up in the chair next to him, a scowl on his face, stubbornly refusing to talk as he had been for the last half an hour.

“Hey Lance, how’s the nurse life treating you today?” Pidge asked smugly, sliding into the chair next to him with an amused grin. Lance didn’t even have the energy to be upset with their obvious mocking. He looked up, pouting at Hunk.

“Terrible.” Lance sighed, shaking his head. He turned then, pointing an accusative finger into Keith’s face and raising his voice. “I’ve made three different soups and Keith won’t eat any of them!”

“I’m not a soup person!” Keith yelled back suddenly, finally breaking his petulant vow of silence. Lance glowered at him. Anger radiated between them, much like it had back in the beginning when they’d constantly been at each other’s throats.

“I’m trying to help you feel better!”

“Yeah, well, you’re making me feel worse!”

“I’m gonna make you feel even _worse_ if you don’t start cooperating right now!” Lance hissed, spooning up another bite of soup and trying to shove it into Keith’s mouth the hard way. Despite not having the full range of motion of his arms back yet, Keith managed to swat it away with a _headbutt_. He headbutted the spoon.

Lance watched with a resigned sense of defeat as the spoon clattered to the floor. Soup was spilled all down Keith’s front as well as the table. Lance suddenly regretted staying up the entire night before watching over him, he was bone tired.

“Fascinating.” Pidge observed, reaching out to poke Lance’s cheek and not even garnering a reaction from the exhausted boy. “It’s like they went forward so far now they need to retreat back into fighting.”

“It’s not the same.” Hunk commented, going along with the new trend of talking about Lance as if he weren’t right there listening. “Lance isn’t fighting, he’s doing the smothering thing he does when he cares about someone and doesn’t know how else to express it. He’s not really… good at _talking_ about emotions, so he tries to show them in his actions.”

“I’m not smothering! He needs someone to take care of him right now!” Lance insisted, turning abruptly and joining the conversation. Pidge quirked an eyebrow at the outburst.

“Yes, but you could ask literally any one of us to do it so you could go get some rest. It doesn’t have to be you that takes care of him, you know.”

“I know that.” Lance grumbled, turning back to Keith. Keith who was now glaring down at the soup like if he tried hard enough he could burst the whole bowl into flames with psychic powers he didn’t have. In a moment of weakness, Lance stooped so low as to beg.

He settled a hand on Keith’s shoulder, rubbing it in a soothing motion. “Keith. Please eat the soup?”

“Fine.” Keith finally, finally relented. He was still frowning so hard Lance was sure his face would stick that way, but it was enough. Lance lit up, quickly spooning up another bite and holding it within Keith’s reach. Keith leaned subtly closer, his lips practically touching the end of the spoon... and then he quickly headbutted it away again. “Sike! Leave me alone! I can feed myself when I get hungry!”

“You brat!” Lance cried in outrage. In another moment of weakness, he jumped to his feet and tried to manually pry Keith’s jaw open. It didn’t go well for him, sharp teeth nipping at his fingers and Keith cursing him out with every cuss word in the book.

“Get off of me!”

“I’m trying to make sure you live through this alien poisoning, would it _kill_ you to make it a little bit easier on me?!”

“I’d rather _die_ than eat your gross soup, Lance!” Keith spat out. Literally. He purposely spat on Lance’s outstretched hand. Lance recoiled in disgust and Keith huffed, holding his chin up as high as he could in that moment. Lance stared at him in betrayal, turning to Hunk with a tired whimper.

“ _Hunk_.” He whined, overtired and so done with the entire situation. Hunk nodded his head in understanding and opened his arms, gathering Lance in close with a tight hug. He held him there, whispering comforting words into his hair about how hard he was trying.

“I’ll help you make a fourth soup.” Hunk said finally, lifting his head to glare in Keith’s direction. What he wasn’t expecting was to see Keith staring worriedly at Lance already, genuine regret and concern in his expression. Hunk smirked knowingly. “A soup that Keith is _definitely_ going to eat.”

“Yeah, whatever, I’ll try it.” Keith muttered, relenting on the argument he’d been so determinedly fighting for the past hour like it was suddenly nothing. Hunk and Pidge exchanged a look over Lance’s head, then both turned to Keith with matching smirks. Keith glared back at them. “ _Only_ because I trust Hunk’s skills as a chef, this has nothing to do with Lance.”

“I don’t know why I bother.” Lance gasped dramatically, like the words deeply wounded him. He stood, trailing off toward the kitchen again. Keith turned his head, straining to watch Lance as he left the room despite what a struggle it clearly was for him.

\--

Later that night, Lance was settled comfortably on the couch. It’d been a long and tiring day, and if he was being totally honest he’d thought about passing Keith off to someone else more than once and just giving up. He was glad he hadn’t now, as he looked down at the sleeping boy cuddled up against his chest, fingers curled tight in Lance’s shirt.

After a whole day of protesting almost everything, Keith had definitely tired himself out. As much as he’d fought it, he’d inevitably passed out when he couldn’t do much else than sit there on his own.

That’d been about an hour ago and Lance had stayed unnervingly still and silent ever since, determined to make sure he got enough sleep. His arm was falling asleep and he was pretty sure Keith’s elbow was pressed into his stomach hard enough to leave a bruise behind, but he didn’t dare move. He was perfectly content where he was, even as he grit his teeth through the pain.

He was starting to drift off himself when the door to the room swished open. Lance blinked his eyes open, watching as Hunk walked into the room with a determined look on his face. He’d clearly came there with a specific goal in mind, but he froze in the middle of the room when he saw the display laid out on the couch. He’d definitely forgotten what he’d come into the room for now.

“Are you two… cuddling?” Hunk asked, a wry little grin worming its way across his face.

“Shh!” Lance hissed, using his free hand to hold a finger to his lips. “He’s sleeping. I think it’s his Galra instincts telling him to be defensive when he’s injured, but he’s been crazy all day. He wouldn’t let me near him awake, let alone asleep. It only got worse after breakfast. He finally just passed out, he couldn’t stay awake any longer.”

Hunk nodded in understanding, creeping quietly closer and squinting at Keith’s sleeping form. As if sensing the scrutiny, Keith shifted around in his sleep, turning and burying his face into the curve of Lance’s neck. He let out a happy little sigh, nuzzling closer. Lance was indescribably tense, determined not to wake him.

“Wow, he looks kinda cute when he’s unconscious.” Hunk concluded. Lance lit up in agreement.

“Right? The least stabby he’s ever been.” Lance whispered, voice filled with admiration. He lifted his hand, ever-so-carefully reaching out to brush a strand of hair off of Keith’s cheek. He managed it, but the second he moved to pull away everything fell apart.

Not only did Keith wake up, he woke up with a vigor.

Keith suddenly jolted upright, eyes wide and nostrils flared. He didn’t even hesitate a second to take in his surroundings, only let out a low choked growling noise and darted forward. Then, like some kind of rabid dog, he chomped down on Lance’s hand with the full bite force of his jaw.

Lance yelped, crying out in pain. “Ow! Fuck! Fuck, fuck, Keith! Let go!”

Keith seemed to realize where he was and what was going on then. He slowly unlatched himself, leaning away with a guilty look on his face. Lance was staring at him in shock, totally at a loss for words as he cradled his injured hand to his stomach. He’d wrapped his shirt around it, wincing as he applied pressure.

Finally, as the silence stretched on, Keith snapped under the silent pressure.

“Don’t touch me while I’m sleeping! It’s that simple!”

“What’s wrong with you?! Were you raised by _wolves_?!” Lance yelled back, despite the fact their faces were only really a few measly inches apart. Keith was fuming now, anger written all across his features.

“Putting your fingers near my mouth while I’m unconscious is asking to get bitten!” Keith roared, not showing a hint of regret for his actions. Lance just rolled his eyes, decidedly not bothering with the whole interaction. Keith scoffed at him, looking up at Hunk instead. “Hunk?”

“Normal people don’t instantly resort to biting, Keith.” Hunk sighed, allowing himself to get dragged into the argument. He might have said more, but he could already see the words registering with Keith. He seemed to be fully awake now, and actually listening to what people were telling him, so that was a good sign. He turned to Lance, frowning deeply.

“I’m sorry.”

“Excuse me? Did you just apologize?” Lance laughed in his face, only really realizing that Keith had been genuine when he recoiled away. Lance watched with a pained expression as Keith squirmed off of his lap and crawled to the other side of the couch, awkward and vulnerable. Lance sighed, shifting easily after him and reaching his good hand out to him in a truce. “It’s fine, Keith. It’s not like you did it on purpose and I should have respected your personal space more. I’m not upset.”

It was a little like watching someone approach a baby wild animal. One second Keith was curled up defensively in the corner of the couch, looking a mixture of angry and hurt. The next he was scrambling forward as fast as he physically could, curiosity getting the better of him as he allowed Lance to pull him in close again.

Hunk watched with his eyebrows furrowed together. Lance was well-aware of their onlooker, but he pulled Keith back into his lap all the same, hugging him close. Keith was nothing like how he’d been earlier, since waking up this time around he seemed a lot more needy. He cuddled up to Lance, shifting around to get comfortable.

“I mean, it’d be a little hypocritical to ask for personal space when we’re like this.” Keith mumbled distractedly to himself, pausing to look up at Lance. “Especially because…”

“Because?”

“I don’t really want it.” Keith giggled, low and tired, clearly not putting a lot of thought into what he was saying. He struggled a bit, but eventually managed to reach up and wrap an arm around Lance’s neck to pull himself in closer. “I _like_ you being close.”

“Yeah?” Lance snickered, blushing as Keith blatantly started kissing across his neck.

“Yeah.” Keith managed, humming fondly. “Want you to be _even closer_.”

“Keith, you can’t just-” Lance giggled, playfully shoving Keith away when he introduced teeth and started nipping at Lance’s neck, purposely trying to form more marks there. Lance grumbled, having had a hard enough time hiding the ones already there. Lance gripped Keith’s jaw, turning him to face the other person in the room. “Hunk is right there!”

“I don’t care if he knows. Do you care?” Keith dismissed him immediately, looking back to Lance with wide, impressionable eyes. Lance gulped.

“I mean, I don’t really-” Lance started to say, interrupting himself with a loud cry when Keith shifted just the wrong way. “Ow!”

“What?” Keith asked, looking down between them in confusion. Lance sheepishly unwrapped his shirt from his hand, exposing the bloodied bite mark he’d been hiding.

“It’s bleeding a little bit.” Lance explained, even as Hunk gaped at the injury in concern. Lance groaned, not wanting to hurt Keith’s feelings but knowing he was playing it down more than he should. “A lot.”

“Lance, I’m sorry.” Keith offered again, looking distressed. Panic was rising in his expression and with how exaggerated his emotions were right now, it was clear they couldn’t let it go any further than that. Hunk sprung into action for Lance, moving forward and helping Lance up.

“Want me to take a look at it? I’ll bandage you up.” Hunk offered, smiling kindly. Lance was hesitant even still, looking down at Keith’s lost puppy dog expression. Hunk sighed. “I’ll call Pidge to come watch Keith until we’re done, but we can’t have that getting infected.”

“Thanks, Hunk.”

After that, Hunk was quick to set everything up. Once they were sure that Pidge had a handle on the whole situation, Hunk led Lance out of the room and toward the med bay. Lance trailed beside him in silence, feeling the tension in the air and knowing in his heart that Hunk had pulled him away on his own like this for a reason. A reason somehow unrelated to his bloodied hand.

The moment they walked into the med bay and realized no one else was around, Hunk turned to him with a tight frown.

“How long?”

“Hm?” Lance hummed, jumping up onto the edge of the bed. Hunk grabbed up a first aid kit and began sorting through it, periodically glancing up to stare at Lance. It was obvious he was waiting on Lance to figure out what he was talking about, and Lance knew exactly what was going on, but he chose to buy himself some time with the obliviousness card.

Finally, as Hunk poured some disinfectant across Lance’s hand, his resolve snapped.

“How long have you two been in a relationship without telling me?!” Hunk hissed out, pushing Lance’s injured hand away and filling the space with the whole of himself. He dove forward, throwing his arms around Lance and hugging him uncomfortably tight. Lance gasped for breath, trying to squirm his way free with only one hand. It was a useless effort.

“Hunk, I can’t breathe!” Lance complained loudly. When Hunk made no move to let him go, Lance hurriedly answered the question he’d been hoping to avoid. “I don’t know?! How many months has it been since that first time we hooked up?! Five?”

“ _Months_ ?” Hunk gasped, pushing Lance back onto the bed so they could make eye contact. Lance sighed, struggling to catch his breath while he sat there, Hunk’s eyes raking over him in disbelief. “You mean to tell me you’ve been _together_ since that first kiss the night you went out to the bar? Like, in an actual romantic relationship? I knew you guys had something going on, but I didn’t think you’d admitted it to yourselves yet.”

“ _Do I_ mean to tell you that?” Lance interrupted, quirking an eyebrow. Hunk squinted suspiciously back at him. “Well, yes and no. It’s a little more complicated than us being in a loving relationship and hiding it from you.”

“Elaborate.” Hunk deadpanned, placing his hands on his hips. Lance worried his bottom lip between his teeth, staring toward the door. Even if he could somehow buy himself some time, he really didn’t want to. He needed to get back to Keith soon. And as much as he knew Hunk was about to be majorly disappointed in him and tell Lance all of the things he was already painstakingly aware of, he almost wanted to open up to him.

“We’re not dating.” Lance admitted, ignoring the weird feeling in his gut at finally talking to someone about his situation. Sure, Pidge knew because of Keith’s zero filter poison situation, but he hadn’t talked to them about it yet. In fact, he was pretty sure they’d made a mutual agreement to never talk about it because Keith had overshared enough for the both of them.

So no, Lance hadn’t talked to anyone about this yet. He’d been trying so hard to keep his feelings a secret for so long, determined not to talk about it, that getting it off his chest felt both terrifying and uplifting. “We’re still just hooking up. We’re friends with benefits.”

The emotions that flickered across Hunk’s face at that would have been comical any other time. It was very clear what he thought of the situation right off the bat, his eyebrows climbing toward his hairline in obvious disbelief and effort not to voice as much. Lance chuckled.

“Is one of the benefits suffering while you fall for someone you think you can’t have?” Hunk asked finally, looking to Lance with a sympathetic smile. Lance shrugged his shoulders, feeling suddenly much smaller than he was. This was so weird to talk about out loud.

“Uh, maybe? I guess so.” Lance croaked out, feeling choked up as he admitted it. Everything had been a whirlwind of ups and downs since Keith came back, one moment he was absolutely certain that Keith felt the same and the next he was left feeling totally alone in his feelings. It was hard to understand, the way Keith seemed to flip-flop back and forth between being open and closed off.

But then… after what he’d said on their mission...

“Have you tried telling him how you feel? I think he might feel the same, you know.” Hunk sighed, shaking his head fondly. “Friends don’t look at each other like you two do, benefits or not.”

“He told me he loved me.” Lance blurted, as Hunk wrapped a bandage around his hand. Hunk paused, looking up at him with a grin so wide it made Lance’s heart race.

“What? Really?”

“After he’d been poisoned, just before he passed out.” Lance explained quickly, speaking fast as his excitement grew at finally having someone to talk about this with. He rambled, a hint of nervousness hiding underneath the surface.  “I don’t know what he meant by it yet, he hasn’t been lucid enough to explain and-”

“Lance.” Hunk interrupted, squeezing his knee. “Stop doubting it. Everyone knows the nature of your relationship and how you both feel, you two are just too scared to put yourselves out there and get the confirmation you need. You don’t need him to explicitly tell you to know, though. He shows how he feels in a lot of ways, Lance. Ways I’m sure you’ve noticed.”

Lance nodded, staring down at his lap with an embarrassingly giddy smile on.

\--

When Lance eventually went back to the lounge he was only slightly worried to find the couch unoccupied. He moved on before he allowed himself to get truly worried though, instead heading back to his room with intentions of changing into a clean shirt before starting to actually look for Keith. It made the most sense to do this first anyway.

What he wasn’t expecting was for Pidge to be sitting on his welcome mat, leaning against his door and playing a game on their phone. Lance approached, looking around for any sign of Keith and finding none at all. Now he couldn’t hold back any longer, his heart racing as he kneeled next to Pidge and wondered what terrible news they could possibly be about to give him.

“Where is K-”

“If you make me babysit him again, I will kill you.” Pidge deadpanned, looking up at him with a bored look. Lance began to worry, eyes scanning Pidge for any other bite wounds. “No, he wasn’t a vicious monster, he was a moony lovesick teenager. Pretty much the second you left he started asking about where you were and when you were coming back. He wouldn’t shut-up! I had no choice, I had to bring him here.”

“Here?”

“He’s in your room doing who knows what. At this point I can’t be bothered to care. He tried to confide in me about your sex life again and I almost poisoned him all over again. Almost.” Pidge sighed tiredly, getting to their feet and starting down the hall. Lance snorted out a laugh, shaking his head in vague amusement. All things considered, that was probably fair.

“Thanks, Pidge.” Lance called after them. They held up a middle finger in response and he decided that was the conclusion of their conversation. He turned to the door, biting his lip in anticipation as he slowly eased it open. He had no idea what to expect.

Inside, he was surprised to find that nothing looked immediately out of place. It wasn’t until he’d stepped further into the room that he noticed his desk had been just slightly rearranged, like Keith had trifled through his belongings and tried to be secretive about it. His colognes had been shuffled around, one of his moisturizers left open, and a chocolate bar he’d left out suspiciously missing now.

He rolled his eyes.

It didn’t take long to figure out that Keith was in the bed, though he wasn’t immediately visible with how he’d buried himself under all the covers and curled up into the smallest ball possible. Eventually, after making sure he’d taken care of any messes Keith had left in his room, Lance walked over to the bed and sat on the edge of the mattress.

Knowing what a light sleeper Keith was, it didn’t come as a surprise when his head poked out from under the covers a second later. His hair was standing up in every which direction, eyes squinting suspiciously until he realized who he was looking at.

“Hey.” Lance laughed, as Keith held up the edge of the blanket and ushered him inside the warmth.

“Tried to stay awake.” Keith informed him distractedly, pouncing the moment Lance had finished lying down. He rolled on top of Lance, immediately sprawling himself out on top of Lance’s smaller frame. Lance stifled a laugh at the way Keith starfished on top of him, not at all graceful or delicate in the way he clung on.

“That’s okay, I know you’re tired.” Lance assured him, petting his hair. Keith nodded, quickly drifting off in his arms much like he had earlier. Though this time Lance kept moving, playing with Keith’s hair while he slept and reveling in the fact he wasn’t waking up. He was just relaxing against Lance and melting into the touch even in his sleep.

\--

Lance woke up first, surprisingly. He was certain it was just a product of Keith’s illness, but he was going to count his blessings while he could. With his head on the pillow and his hands tucked under his cheek, he stared at where Keith had ended up sprawled over the opposite pillow. He snored softly, jaw slack in his sleep.

He was fully expecting to have at least ten minutes or so to admire Keith’s sleeping face, given he hadn’t done anything at all since waking up that could alert the other boy. It was only really two minutes later that Keith abruptly stirred, sitting up and bringing his arm to his nose. He sniffed it a few times, eyebrows drawing together. “Why do I smell like I got lost in a flower garden?”

Lance stifled a laugh, remembering all the lotions and colognes Keith had broken into the night before.

“Can you sense people’s eyes on you even when you’re asleep?” He asked, biting his lip. Keith actually looked in his direction then, eyes wide like he hadn’t realized he was sleeping with another person until that moment. He relaxed slightly seeing Lance’s face, then slowly lowered himself back into the comfort of the bed.

“I’m a really light sleeper.” Keith told him, staring up at the ceiling as he spoke. “Years of looking out for yourself will do that to a person.”

“Well, you don’t have to be on high alert anymore. I’ll watch out for you.” Lance informed him, reaching over to squeeze his arm comfortingly. Keith grinned softly, shifting closer until he was pressed close to Lance’s side under the covers. Lance let him think he’d gotten away with it without him noticing, though in reality Keith had been anything but discreet in how he sought out that closeness. Lance turned to him, pressing a tentative kiss to his temple. “Feeling any better?”

“My entire body hurts, but I don’t feel like I just got out of a dentist appointment anymore. I can think clearly at least.”

“Yeah, you were pretty out of it for a while there.” Lance mused, his heart thudding loudly in his chest as he tried to steer the conversation in that direction. Despite everything Hunk had said and how confident Lance felt, he couldn’t shake the fear he felt bringing it up.

“How bad was it? Did you guys film me?”

“It wasn’t that bad.” Lance dismissed, waving his hand through the hair. He winced then though, and Keith inevitably caught sight of the large bandage wrapped around Lance’s hand. He reached up, grabbing Lance’s wrist and dragging his hand closer, inspecting it closely.

Feeling that he owed an explanation to him so he wouldn’t think he’d gotten the injury on the mission, Lance cleared his throat. “You bit me.”

“Not that bad?!” Keith hissed Lance’s words back at him, but mockingly this time. Lance snorted, pulling his hand from Keith’s grip. He hoped they would go back to enjoying the moment then, lazing around in bed together and talking about the shallow stuff. However, Keith was very clearly hung up on what he’d done while he couldn’t stop himself. He cleared his throat, looking at Lance. “What else… did I do?”

“You don’t remember any of it?”

“Some. I don’t know what was real and what wasn’t.” Keith explained, visibly troubled by how little he could decipher on his own. Lance nodded, stepping up to the plate.

“You said your favorite food was meat. Just every single meat.” Lance informed him, reveling in the embarrassed flush that faded in across Keith’s cheeks. He leaned in close, kissing Keith’s cheek now. He tried to resist the urge to keep going, to kiss him more and with purpose. He knew they had to have this conversation now and no later, but damn did he want to throw it all out the window to kiss that embarrassed smile right off his face.

Lance continued, reaching between them to find and hold Keith’s hand. “You told me you were worried that Kosmo likes Krolia more than he likes you. In fact, you told me this through tears.”

“Damn it, my deepest insecurity.” Keith joked, light and playful after just waking up. As much as Lance wanted to keep that easy atmosphere around, he knew that this next thing was a little bit more serious and it couldn’t wait. He propped himself up on one elbow, staring down at Keith with a solemn look.

“You, uh… might have said something else too.” Lance managed. He fumbled with his hands, hesitantly glancing over to gauge Keith’s reaction. Keith looked horrified, so he tried to elaborate a little bit more to ease the tension. “Something about me. Us.”

The horror didn’t fade from Keith’s expression whatsoever.

Now it was clear that Keith really had no intention of confessing had he been in his right mind. Lance felt a little hurt at first, but the more he thought it over the more he understood. Keith was lying next to him with this look about him like he was ready to bolt the second Lance tried to let him down easy. He’d been holding his breath for a dangerously long amount of time, no doubt waiting to be called out and have it all fall apart.

After an exceedingly long amount of time, Keith finally composed himself enough to respond.

“So that _was_ real, huh?” Keith laughed, rubbing a hand over his face. The tension in the room was unbearable, especially knowing most of it was Keith directing his frustrations back at himself. He took a moment to compose himself and then spoke up in a level tone, very clearly trying to detach himself from the situation already. He seemed so certain that Lance wouldn’t feel the same, it was the slightest bit heartbreaking. Had they both been feeling like this all along?

Why _wouldn’t_ Lance feel the same? Keith was an amazing guy.

“Look, Lance, it’s okay if you don’t want this. I know you signed up for no strings attached going into this whole thing. Feelings like this aren’t what you wanted, they aren’t what you asked for, and they’re-”

“They’re better.” Lance cut him off before he could continue, already knowing exactly how he felt and not wanting Keith to go through another second of feeling so uncertain. Though, rather than lighting up in relief and excitement, Keith’s expression simply shifted into one of confusion. “Better than what I asked for by far.”

“You’re serious? You mean that?” Keith asked, looking at Lance like he was truly lying to him at a moment like that. Lance scoffed, looking smugly back at him.

“Did you mean what _you_ said? You know, the big “L” word. That’s pretty serious. It’s not just a strong like? You’re in _love_ with me?”

“Lance!” Keith snapped in embarrassment. For a moment it looked like he still wasn’t going to admit to it, even after Lance had more or less come out and said he felt the exact same. Keith surprised them both when he abruptly continued. “Yeah, I did. I mean… I do.”

“Say it.” It was less a command and more a plead. Keith smiled gently at Lance, looking hesitant for all of a second before continuing in the most certain voice he’d ever spoken in. It was heavy and serious, filled with a genuine amount of vulnerable emotion that was uncharacteristic for Keith.

“I love you.”

“I think… I _might_ love you too.” Lance said, a breathless giggle slipping out with the words. He felt the strongest urge to cry, happiness filling him to the brim as he watched a blinding smile unfold across Keith’s face. He’d never looked so happy. Lance couldn’t recall ever seeing a smile like that, so bright and bold, so incredibly invested.

He already knew he’d do anything it took to see that smile time and time again.

Lance rolled over, settling easily on top of Keith. His chin rested on Keith’s chest, the both of them staring into each other’s eyes with what could only be described as awe. They’d gotten past the hardest part now, but settling into this would take a while. As much as Lance wanted to immediately start kissing him and parading him around the universe, it still felt tentative and new.

“For how long?” Keith whispered, reaching to smooth Lance’s hair back from his face. Lance hummed, content, eyes fluttering shut so he could savor the touch.

“I’m not sure.” Lance said honestly, cracking an eye open and grinning sleazily. “If I’m being perfectly honest? It might have been during that third blowjob, the one where you-”

“Lance!”

“Okay, okay.” Lance huffed, burying his face into Keith’s neck. Quieter now, less shamelessly confident in himself, he continued. “I didn’t really accept it until that night at the coalition event though, when I had to watch you leave with someone else.”

“I’m sorry, you didn’t deserve that. It’s the worst feeling in the world. I just thought something happened with you and Lady Monu, it made me crazy jealous.” Keith admitted, biting his bottom lip. “It seems really dumb now that I know you didn’t even do anything together.”

“Not dumb at all, I know exactly how you were feeling. It sucked.”

“Tell me about it.” Keith laughed easily, tipping his head back. Lance’s eyes followed the curve of his jaw, trailing down the long column of his neck. He started to lean closer, his self-control dwindling out the more he thought about what they could be doing right now rather than dwelling on the past. Then Keith spoke up again and Lance’s mind went blank. “You have no idea how many girls I’ve watched you leave with since I caught feelings.”

“I haven’t been with anyone else since this thing started between us.” Lance reminded him, speaking slowly as realization set-in midway through the sentence. Keith hesitated, propping himself up to look at Lance again.

“I know.”

“How long have you liked _me_?” Lance gasped, feeling an excited smile tugging at the corners of his lips despite himself. The idea that Keith had liked him for so much longer was both flattering and intriguing, a slew of questions already on the tip of his tongue about what in the world had made Keith fall for him in the past. He hadn’t exactly been the nicest guy. Was it just lack of options in space? That’d make sense.

Keith was looking at him a little strangely, like he himself had to consider his answer. There was a sort of mesmerized look about him, like he was seeing Lance for the first time all over again. Keith finally broke out of his reverie, blinking it away and instead focusing fully on Lance.

“Is love at first sight a really cheesy thing to say? I don’t wanna scare you off right away.” Never had Lance seen Keith look so bashful, so earnestly vulnerable with his emotions. The corner of Lance’s lips quirked up into a smile before he could stop himself. It didn’t take him long at all to decide that he liked this side of Keith. This must have been it then, the strings that’d been missing from their no strings attached relationship. The thread to hold it all together was just being honest about how they felt.

“I’m not scared.” Lance whispered, and he leaned in to kiss him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's a wrap, folks! I hope everyone enjoyed the story, I know I had fun writing it and reading everyone's comments as we went along. This is actually, weirdly, my first chaptered klance story I've actually finished and not abandoned, so I'm getting a little nostalgic here.
> 
> But no worries! I'll be lurking around the fandom for a while yet. Follow me on my social medias or subscribe on here to get updates on what I'm working on. Or even just to come hang-out and send story ideas to my inbox, I'm just lonely like HELLO i love making friends!!
> 
> See ya around the internet, my dudes.
> 
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